"When in the midst of sorrow
You can' t see up when looking down
A brighter day tomorrow will bring, oh
You hear the voice of reason
Telling you this can't never be done
No matter how hard reality seems
Just hold on to your dreams, yeah…"
Sounds of Blackness – "Optimistic"
He wore the necklace around his neck.
His father's ring rested on his skin as he dressed for his birthday.
Twenty-One.
Erik had lived ten years without his parents. A beloved orphan with extended family from around the world.
"JaJa, you ready in there?"
Grandpop's voice broke him away from staring at himself in the hotel bathroom mirror.
"I'm coming," he said.
"I have a surprise for you."
"Here I come."
Erik splashed a bit of cologne on his neck and ran his fingers over his eyebrows. He decided to wear the suit he bought with his last Stark Enterprises paycheck. Single-breasted, eggplant-colored, and expensive as fuck. He looked like royalty in the flesh. Purple amethyst studded earrings made his gold slugs pop in his mouth.
He stepped out of the bathroom and his grandfather whistled when he saw him.
"Ooh wheeee! Lookie here, lookie here!"
Erik grinned, and his grandfather beamed. The old man was grayer and heavier. He looked good. At peace.
"What's the surprise?" Erik asked.
"Aye, bruh… what's poppin?!"
His childhood buddy Walter jumped out from behind the open closet door.
"Nah! Stop playin! You really here!"
Erik jumped on his friend and they hugged like long-lost brothers.
"I wasn't about to miss this, my G!" Walter said.
Erik stood back and stared at his best friend.
"You clean, boy!" Erik shouted.
Walter ran his hands over his smooth buzz cut and flashy dark maroon and black embroidered suit. Spinning around, he posed like they used to do as kids. Erik hugged him again. A knock on the hotel door got them all moving.
Marisol stood outside their room in a sexy little silky tangerine dress. She hugged Walter then looked Erik over.
"Were you surprised?" she asked.
"Y'all good. Grandpop usually messes up hiding stuff," Erik said reaching for her hand and threading his finger with hers.
They met with the rest of the family in the hotel lobby and everyone stunted in high-class gear. Erik ordered five dark SUVs to be used all weekend from a car service. There would be dinner at Disa's their first night. A visit to the MIT campus and a peek at Erik's work in the robotics department with a fancy lunch in town. Then a trip to visit a museum in New York. They would spend their last two days at the hotel swimming and ordering BBQ and relaxing. Five days of family and fun. All for him.
Erik was grateful. Everyone who was important to him was there. They overwhelmed him with all the affection. Especially from Marisol and Nevaeh, his two younger female cousins. They pampered him and constantly held his hand. Marisol burst into tears the moment she saw him at the airport and never left his side. The moment he laid eyes on her he turned into the overbearing and overprotective older cousin. Both of his girl cousins were beautiful. However, Marisol was a stunner. Her dark skin and shiny black tresses that fell down to her waist turned heads wherever they went. She was energetic, playful, and such a chatterbox with him. He could barely get a word in edge-wise once she got going with Nevaeh.
His family saw a bit of the town as they rode over to Disa's. He became nervous when he stepped out of the SUV in front of her house. So many people. He brought a tribe to her doorstep.
Yamilet greeted them all as they entered the front door. She handed them glasses of bubbling champagne and Tatum stood near her offering everyone finger foods from a silver tray. The house was decorated with purple and gold streamers and balloons. A three-layer gold birthday cake sat in the living room on a fancy display table with Erik's name on it along with his new age.
Disa stepped out from the kitchen and he tried to not let his eyes pop out when he saw her. A tight robin-egg blue dress draped along her curves and her hair was a fluffy mass of curls. She had clipped in some hairpieces to hide the shaved parts of her scalp that were growing back in. Her stunning looks had Walter flummoxed. His buddy stood in the room gawking at her as she shook hands and gave hugs to his family members. When she greeted everyone, she finally gave him a tight hug and kissed his cheek.
"Birthday boy," she cooed in his ear.
Erik's heart galloped. He couldn't hide what he felt for her from anyone. His face gave everything away, and he moved her over to his grandfather to distract the others from his obvious romantic feelings.
"Smells wonderful in here," Grandpop said.
"Dinner will be ready shortly," she said serving him another hors d'oeuvre.
Yamilet put on some music and Marisol started shaking her hips and grabbing for his hands. Erik danced with her, grateful for a new focus. His cousin spun around and clung to his hands as her mothers clapped their hands watching them. Auntie Serah stepped to him next, and he led her in a short dance that had him hugging Auntie Soliel and Auntie Aunjanue as Marisol led him to each family member. Aunt Rolita kissed his forehead and then his Aunt Shavonne held his hands and kissed them. Uncle Bakari started swaying low on the ground and Erik slipped his suit jacket off and play-fought his Uncle Bakari before Uncle Addae held his face and sang praises to his name in Ghanaian. The family instinctively joined into a circle. His uncle Besouro and Godfather Andres palmed their hands with his in a capoeira move.
From the corner of his eye, he could see Disa and her friends watching the ceremony that had taken on a life of its own after his parents died. His extended family drowned him in love and movement when they gathered together en masse on special occasions. Clapping hands and singing the fight song of his mother, they smothered him with strength and the will to keep going. Marisol's clear singing voice rose above the others as she curled her fingers in the way of his father. Ulwa flowed from her as she struck his sides and chest singing his mother's song and working his father's moves. Erik closed his eyes and stood still in the center until Marisol's soft kisses sprinkled themselves all over his face. She grounded him. They all did. Reminding him of who he was and where he came from. Two warriors from two different worlds.
His grandfather ended it with a big hug, and there were shouts of joy all around him.
"Please, there are restrooms on both sides of the house. If you could wash your hands and meet me in the dining room in ten minutes?" Disa said.
The family spread out, and Erik followed Disa into the kitchen. He washed his hands in the kitchen sink.
"Can I help?" he asked.
Yamilet and Tatum fussed at him to get out of the kitchen. Disa stroked his cheek.
"Pick where you'd like to sit in the dining room. We got this," she said.
Glancing around he saw all the work she put in to make the dinner possible. It was like looking at a fancy restaurant kitchen. So much food. Yamilet and Tatum carried bowls of food out of the kitchen and Erik rushed Disa suddenly. Wrapping his arms around her waist, he kissed her. Gave her tongue and everything. She accepted his lips but pushed him back when he pressed to close to her.
"I can't thank you enough," he said with shuddery breath.
"Enjoy this night. It's all for you and your family."
Her eyes twinkled.
"That was beautiful out there… the circle dance and the singing. Portuguese?"
"Yeah. A capoeira song made for my mother by Besouro… my Uncle Axiel."
"You are so loved…"
Erik reached for his cell.
"Chloe's here, Just pulled up," he said.
Disa nodded and pulled out two large metal pans filled with duck legs soaked in garlic and duck fat. The skin was crispy golden brown and his mouth watered from the sight and smell.
"Go greet your girl," Disa fussed as she stirred a jumbo pot of white bean soup.
He slipped out of the kitchen and went down the stairs to open the front door. Chloe wore a snug purple dress and had her hair silk pressed to perfection down her back. She held a large powder blue gift box.
"Happy birthday, baby!"
Erik gave her a hug and took the gift under one arm.
"Ready?" he asked.
Chloe shook her shoulders and nodded with nervous energy. He gripped her hand and led her into the house. Nerves tumbled in his stomach. Chloe was the first woman he had ever displayed to his entire family in that way.
Chloe was charming and all smiles as she greeted everyone. Grandpop was invested in knowing who had his nose open along with Serah and his other Aunties. Marisol and Nevaeh fussed with her hair and complimented her on her dress and that took the pressure off of him to act like a boyfriend in front of everyone. It just felt weird to him to be coupled up that way around them. Once they were seated around the dining table and served by Disa and her friends, he relaxed into the party more with Chloe being next to him. The food, as expected, was on point, especially with ambient music and the flow of conversation around him. Disa had set up an extra table in the room for the overflow, and he was bummed that she wasn't seated at the main table with him. But she ended up being the center of attention as his family engaged her, especially Aunt Serah who chatted in French with her as wine and champagne flowed endlessly.
He was tipsy by the time the main course had ended and they moved into the living room to play charades and a new card game called Black Card Revoked. Erik found it hilarious that Black people from different parts of the globe had so many opinions of what would keep a Black person from being disowned from the community. Disa was an incredible hostess who kept them all entertained. There wasn't a dull moment. His grandfather was taken with her and Erik was pleased to see them sitting next to each other chatting and laughing. Chloe leaned into him on the loveseat.
"Have you decided to stay in the dorms next year?" she asked.
Erik rolled his eyes.
"I'm tryna bounce now. Those dudes are wack as fuck. Not all of them, but enough to bug me out. It's not a good fit."
Chloe rubbed his back and kissed his cheek. He caught Marisol and Nevaeh giggling as they spied on him. So accustomed to him juggling women, they teased him in this new role as a boyfriend.
"If you need a break from the dorm, you can stay here," Disa said collecting the game cards as Yamilet and Tatum passed out plates and forks.
"Stay here?" he said.
Chloe's hand tightened around his arm.
"Yeah. I'm leaving for Dubai next week and I need a plant sitter. Yamilet is coming with me and Tatum won't be able to be here for me and look after the house, so it would help me out a lot."
"How long are you gone for?"
Disa sat on the arm of the loveseat near him and squinted her eyes.
"I'm leaving on the 30th and will be back May 15th. Then I'm gone for two weekends back to back before I head to L.A. to see my parents. I'll need plant help on those two weekends too and I'll be in L.A. for a month. Technically, you could have this house for two months. Chloe, you're welcome to kick it here with him if you want."
Erik internally groaned. He loved the idea of having space to himself. But Chloe having access…
"I'll think about it," he said trying to buy time.
"Please say yes, it would really help me out."
"I think you should do it," Chloe said.
Her eyes were bright with possibilities for them to be alone in a proper home.
Yamilet lit the candles on his cake.
"Gather round!" Disa said.
Marisol grabbed his hands and pulled him from the loveseat to force him near the cake. Grandpop and Bakari placed their hands on his shoulders.
"Grandpop?" Erik said when his grandfather wiped his eyes.
"Look at you. All grown up. It was a hard road getting you here."
"I made it… because of you and everyone here," he said glancing around the room.
Chloe clutched his arm and nuzzled his cheek with her nose. The warmth helped him focus on all the eyes on him.
"The last ten years have forced me to grow up fast, and I put a lot of you through hell trying to figure out how I could live… without my Baba and Mom…"
His chest shuddered. His Aunt Shavonne clasped his other hand and stroked his hair. He exhaled and chewed his lip for a second. Disa's loving brown eyes gave him encouragement. Chloe dragged her nails along his arm helping him ground his thoughts.
"Thank you for loving me unconditionally. Thank you, Walter, for being my ultimate homeboy. You were my first school friend, and you became a son to my parents and a brother to me through thick and thin. When I was in juvie, you visited me with your Mom, and your Dad sent me money when I was at the Naval Academy to make sure I had enough snacks to study. All my Aunts and Uncles here… my cousins. You all adopted me as your own and your love has been thicker than blood. Every milestone you were all there for me. I hope I have made you proud for making it so far. Disa, thank you for allowing us to be in your home…"
Murmurs of "Thank you" and "Yes Lord" sprinkled around and Disa smiled and bowed her head to everyone.
"Chloe, thanks for helping me navigate a lot of campus stuff and being a good friend too, as well as a girlfriend. You listen to me complain and bitch about dorm life and what I can't control, but you also make me laugh at myself."
Chloe grinned, and he kissed her cheek making everyone say "Ahh," with cute voices.
"This transition to M.I.T. has been what I needed and look forward to you all coming out to see me graduate."
Serah broke out in singing Happy Birthday and Erik blew out his candles. Disa sliced up the cake and Yamilet helped serve them on people's plates. Tatum brought out Turkish coffee and more wine.
There was more music, more dancing, more conversations. Erik floated from family member to family member with Chloe and his heart was full. Opening gifts hours later they spoiled him with the presents. A new laptop. Clothes. Jewelry. Books. He was tipsy and hanging in the back of the dining room with Walter, Marisol, and Nevaeh when Grandpop walked in.
"JaJa," he said.
"W'sup, Grandpop? Getting tired?"
"No, Bakari wants to share something with everyone in the living room."
They followed Grandpop out and the rest of the family sat on furniture and the carpet in front of Disa's wide-screen TV. Bakari held up a USB.
"Been saving this for a long time. Didn't know when the right time would be to share it since I found it and could transfer it to new digital," Bakari said.
His Uncle handed the USB to Disa, and she hooked it into her TV.
"Come here, JaJa," Shavonne said making room for him on the center couch.
Erik sat down as the screen filled with a familiar picture.
"Why are you crying, JaJa?"
Erik fell back into the couch. The sound of his father's voice startled him. On-screen, Erik was a little dude sitting in his father's barber chair with tears streaming down his face. N'Jobu kissed his forehead but Erik kept crying until his mother stepped forward and cradled his chin.
"I want my hair to be like Mommy's!"
"You'll look so handsome with a nice haircut from Baba…"
Califia lit up the TV, and Grandpop's voice cracked. Erik bolted from his seat and went to his grandfather and put an arm around him.
"Let it play… let it play… I want us to see them," Grandpop said.
"Me too," Erik said kneeling near his grandfather.
They watched Erik get his first haircut, along with other clips of their family life and trips. There was Walter and himself as little dudes dressed like little Tony Stark at their first science fair. His parents were so alive and vibrant… so loving and affectionate with each other and him. It took his breath away to remember how much they adored and spoiled him.
"Marisol… crying as usual," he teased when shots of Sao Paulo appeared when he was six. Baptisados, Uncle Besouro teaching him to fight, Auntie Lia showing him how to cook good Brazilian rice on the stove, her voice sorely missed by everyone.
Erik's heart soared and squeezed and thumped with joy, sorrow, and the ache of loss. Every time his mother spoke his name, he chewed on his lip, and when Baba lifted him in the air playfully and his booming voice showed off that royal cadence… Erik swooned. At one point he glanced around the room and all he saw were shiny eyes, wide smiles, and soft laughter at all the memories. At that second, his family was together. Complete.
Disa stared at him for a moment and he saw the shimmer of tears there. He gave her a giant smile to let her know it was wonderful to share them with her. He didn't want sorrow to dampen that beautiful face of hers.
Turning his face back to the TV, he enjoyed the best gift he received of the night. A chance to be with Califia and N'Jobu once more.
