"Don't you forget your way home
For that little girl
Hold on to your world
And don't you forget it
Don't you forget your way home
For that little girl
Hold on to your world
Don't you be afraid cuz a heartbeat away
It's all that and everything
That send men and women to you
Don't need to cry, you can dry your eyes
Cuz you can count on the love that through the years
Captured fears you'll face, can subside your tears
Everything will be ok, don't you be afraid…"
Glenn Lewis— "Don't You Forget It"
Dante Stevens held onto Disa's hand as he guided her in traditional Chicago steppin' footwork. His light brown eyes shined with encouragement as she slid her feet across her mother's wood floor.
"There it go, there it go! You got it!" Dante hooted.
Her father, Ahmad, sat on a rocking chair and watched them dance to Michael Jackson's "The Way You Make Me Feel".
"Get it Grandpop!" Erik shouted.
Disa giggled when she turned the wrong way, but she caught on quickly, allowing Dante to lead her.
"Get in here, boy. Take ya girl for a spin!"
Dante twirled her closer to Erik and her newly minted boyfriend grabbed a hold of her hand and led her with some arm work.
"See, he likes all that new school stuff. Old school is where it's at!" Dante teased.
Ahmad clapped his weak hands to the beat, and Dante stood near him, patting his shoulder. Two weeks in Los Angeles and the older men grew closer. There was a consensus among them that they were pleased with the union of her and Erik. Theresa, her mother, cooked fried pork chops and cheese broccoli in the kitchen. Muslim or not, she was going to feed Ahmad whatever came out of her kitchen, and her father was up for it despite his difficulty eating because of the lump in his throat.
The music changed on the radio and became the seductive sounds of Rufus and Chaka Kahn's "Hollywood". Erik pulled her in tight and kissed her lips before releasing her and giving her a low bow. She turned the music down and went to assist her mother with setting the dinner table in the kitchen. A large sandalwood table had room for seven, and there were only five of them tonight. They had spent the day clearing out Ahmad's apartment and donating his furniture to charity. He was moving back in with Theresa. Disa didn't see it as her parents getting back together, but the entire time they were there, they had slipped back into their old marriage habits like a family again. It made her happy. It also meant her family didn't have to cover housing expenses for him anymore since her mother had plenty of space and a decent retirement income to cover them both until he was back on his feet.
"Smells good in here," she said.
"Everything is good and ready, so we can all wash up and eat," Theresa said.
Disa cleaned her hands at the sink and set the table. Dante assisted Ahmad into the kitchen and Erik brought him a sweater in case he became cold. Her father's body temperature didn't regulate itself so well since his illness, so they kept blankets and sweaters on hand just in case.
Theresa cut up Ahmad's food and served him first despite his fussing that he could still fix his own plate, and everyone else passed around the chops, broccoli, and mashed potatoes after they said prayers. Erik eyed her with sly looks. Their parents planned to attend a movie together with some of Ahmad's friends at the Culver City Arclight Theatre. They would finally be alone in the house. That meant loud sex and plenty of kissing to make up for the quiet couch sessions they had to sneak when everyone was asleep in the house. Disa liked couch sex. She grew wetter knowing how illicit it was to have Erik stretch her folds under a blanket as they watched TV. He clutched at her breasts, squeezing them and growling nasty sex talk in her ear as she panted. His dick made her walls gushy and the sound of him stroking her made her multi-orgasmic. Every time he was ready to cum, he would lift her leg and press his face into the back of her shoulder and bite her. Pain and pleasure rippled through her and she would cum all over his shaft with a tight grip.
She knew Erik was ready to make all the noise he could. Hot, steamy, loud, and creamy sex. He was a growler and a shouter with their lovemaking. Part of their arousal together was talking in an erotic language they had mastered together. Erik needed to ask her permission to cum every time. It heightened his pleasure to beg release from her, and to hear Disa's voice tease him until his balls ached and he roared out his ejaculation. Tonight would surely be explosive once they could holler and shout and curse openly. Her pussy was already acting up in her silk undies at the dinner table. There was no telling what Erik's dick was doing. She couldn't wait to sit on his face and soak his big lips.
Disa was over the moon with Erik.
He was all the man she had ever dreamed of. How was it possible that a twenty-two-year-old had his shit together more than men twice his age? His love spoiled her. She was already imagining them in the future, having a bunch of babies running around. His grandfather was already calling her daughter-in-law. Erik said he never ever called anyone that. Disa beamed and Erik laughed about it.
"Oh, you think you extra special now, huh?" he said.
"I am!"
Her friends thought the world of Erik. Yamilet was especially pleased.
"I knew it the moment I met him," she enthused to Disa. "I don't know why your butt didn't snatch him up sooner. We could all see you were meant for each other."
Having Erik eased her anxiety about finding work. She had two interviews lined up after her father's surgery. One was at M.I.T., which she wanted, and the other was at The New School in New York. Despite their bad breakup, Paul had put in a good word for her. If she weren't offered a position with either, Erik told her to take her time looking for other gigs. He would take care of the mortgage completely until she was employed.
She had no idea how much money he had. When she tried to be slick and ask around her curiosity, he just assured her that he was good for the money. He proved it by paying the mortgage lender directly himself. She worried he would run out and insisted that she pay half. There was enough in her checking and savings to get by since she wouldn't have to pay for her father's care every month. She could stretch the two years to three or four if she had to. She could also take in a roommate once Erik left for basic training and whatever assignment he received after that. He only kissed her and said don't worry. The only thing she could think was that Tony Stark must've had a hell of a salary for him back in the day.
"Anyone want seconds? Going once? Going twice?" Theresa said.
Full bellies pushed away from the table. Even her father got enough food down without feeling sick.
"We should get ready for the movie. I want to see the trailers," Ahmad said.
He eased himself out of his seat and followed Erik out into the living room.
"Mom, I'll take care of cleanup, go get ready," Disa said.
"Thanks. If all the broccoli doesn't fit into the blue bowl, put some in the freezer," she said.
Clean-up was fast and the older adults left the house in high spirits. Erik was already touching on her backside.
"Wait until they get out of the driveway at least," she huffed, brushing his hands away.
She scolded him again when he started pulling out the couch bed.
"Erik!" she hissed.
Dante came back into the house to grab his jacket. His eyes danced over to Erik, who had the pull-out bed halfway open. The older man grinned.
"Handle your business," he said, winking at Erik.
Disa palmed her face. Her cheeks grew warm.
"Now he's going to know what we've been doing," she grumbled.
"Don't be embarrassed. I'm sure they all know why we didn't go with them."
He finished pulling out the bed and organizing the covers. They snuggled under the thin blankets until Erik started farting.
"Oh, God!" Disa said, holding her nose.
"Not my fault. That broccoli and cheese was good."
He ripped a few more bombs, and she had to get up and open the windows.
"Do you need to go to the bathroom?" she said.
Erik laughed, threw back his head, and guffawed while holding his stomach. She turned on the flatscreen and they watched the news. He tried snuggling next to her, pushing his nose into her neck, but she stroked his scalp and held her nose.
"I can still smell your funk," she complained.
"I can't get none?"
"Not right now."
"Oh, come on. They'll be back in two hours."
She brushed her lips against his mouth and slipped her tongue deep within. He started laughing.
"What?" she said, pulling her face away from his.
His head fell back, and he jammed a fist against his mouth to stifle his mirth. The stench hit her and she jumped out of the bed.
"I'm going to my Mama's room. You're going to kill me with these silent but deadlies!"
His laughter echoed as she stomped her way to her mother's bedroom.
###
Disa drove to the Original Tommy's chili burgers on West Pico. She decided to eat inside to kill some time before heading to the hospital to join her mother. Ahmad was checked in to prepare for his surgery the next day and she needed a break away from the house. Erik slept in and she left him to get some greasy fast food to help calm her nerves. Comfort eating was what she needed. She'd get Erik something to go. He read all night, exhausting himself with naval prep.
Stepping into the burger spot, she ordered a messy chili burger with fries.
"You had the same idea."
Disa turned her head toward the soda dispenser. Dante was there, filling up a large cup of root beer.
"Join me?" he said, nodding over toward his table.
Disa grabbed her order and followed him to their seating.
"Stress is eating at you," he said.
She nodded and took a bite of her burger. Using a napkin to wipe her lips, she stuffed a fry in her mouth. Dante ate his food, and they sat together, munching in silence. When her belly was sated, she sat back and gave in to her fears.
"Hey, baby girl, it's okay," Dante said.
He reached for her trembling hands across the table and held them.
"Thank you for being here for my father," she said.
"He raised up a wonderful daughter. The least I could do was help you carry this weight."
"You and Erik have been godsends. I swear. If it was just me and my family, I'd be a blubbering mess every day. Erik has been so strong for me, and I can't imagine not having him here with me."
She wiped her lids and tried to concentrate on her empty food tray.
"He gave up what he loves for me," she whispered.
"As he should. There are baptisados every year—"
"But he trained so hard—"
"Then he will do well next year. Be even better for the wait. A man cares for his woman first."
She grinned.
Dante sipped on his soda, then stroked the gray hairs on his chin. His kind eyes made her breathe evenly. A final shudder left her body.
"You remind me of my daughter."
"Yeah?" she said.
He nodded and folded his hand on top of the other.
"I think that's why JaJa loves you so much. You have that Califia spirit. Bold. Vibrant."
"She was a remarkable woman."
"That she was. My little girl. I wanted the world for her. Now I feed that desire into my grandson. Being with him these last few weeks, I can see the growth in him. That comes from loving you."
Disa waved her hand.
"Nah, don't dismiss your role in grounding him. I used to worry about him being alone. I know he has extended family all over, but there was a hole in him. He needed someone for himself that wasn't connected to our tragedy. Disa… you make the world new for him. There's a renewed sense of purpose in Erik that I haven't seen in a long time. Not since he was a child. I would cry at night worrying about him. I don't have to cry anymore."
"You're giving me too much credit. He is… extraordinary. All on his own."
"He is that. However, love has a way of enhancing that. My grandson is at peace. That is a precious gift, Disa. I have tried for over a decade to get him there."
She glanced down at her hands.
"Erik makes me feel like I've never been in love before. When he talks to me, it's like he can feel the deepest part of me without me having to say anything. Is it possible to love someone too much?"
"Never."
Dante grinned and tossed his used napkins onto his burger tray.
"How did you get over here?" she asked.
"A friend dropped me off. I'm taking a bus back to the house."
"Ride back with me. Let me order Erik something first, and then we can go. I'll drop you off before I head to the hospital."
Disa took their trays and stacked them on a trash can after tossing out their refuse. It didn't take long to get two hamburgers with extra chili for Erik. She drove Dante to the house, and Erik wolfed down his food and kissed her afterward with gratitude. His head balanced a new career and also a concern for her father. She slipped on her hijab. The ride over to the hospital was filled with chatter about the book he was reading, and she was grateful that he kept her mind occupied with pleasant thoughts. Stepping into the hospital and holding his hand helped focus her angst on hyping up her father with positive energy.
There was laughter and jokes in Ahmad's room. Her brothers Saeed and Bilal were there with her mother, and Ahmad chatted as best he could. He kept saying their names and spoke of music and old jazz recordings that featured Pharoah Sanders. His mind fixated on Egypt and Sun Ra, and she figured it was because of the pain medication they had weaned him off to prepare for surgery. Ahmad seemed loopy but confident. Erik had him laughing and before they left, her father reached for her hand.
"Deee-suh," he hissed.
"Yes, Daddy? I love you."
"Did you know your name means 'Goddess'?"
He struggled to speak.
"Yes, Daddy."
"You are a goddess, sweetheart. I listened to Pharoah Sanders when I named you. 'The Creator Has a Master Plan'. That's you, baby. Cosmic. You and Erik. I want you to go to Egypt one day and look at the Pyramids. Go to Mali and see the Dogon mystic caves. I see great things for you and him—"
"Daddy, you should rest now—"
"Disa… Disa… Dee-suh…."
His eyes fell closed from a sudden sleep. She kissed his forehead.
###
Erik sat in the waiting room of the hospital with Disa.
They held hands, and her head rested on his shoulder. Theresa had gone up earlier to see Ahmad off and they all waited quietly for the time to tick by. He held Disa all night on the pull-out bed and reassured her that her father was receiving the best care possible. His grandfather sat with Theresa while Disa's brothers kept their minds occupied, checking their phones for social media.
When the surgeon arrived, Erik kissed Disa and watched her walk away with her mother to get the outcome and prognosis. No one fell out, so that meant Ahmad had pulled through. There was a lot of talking coming from the doctor. After twenty minutes, Theresa followed the doctor and Disa relayed the update to the rest of her family. His woman put on a brave face with tears in her bright eyes.
"He's in recovery now. They weren't able to save his vocal cords—"
She covered her mouth to hold back the sob that gurgled in her throat. Erik put an arm around her and she continued with shuddery breath.
"They took the tumor out, but the cancer has spread. They hope more chemo will slow the growth, but as of now, Daddy won't be able to talk again. We knew this was a possibility, but it's real now."
"Pops talked too much anyway," her brother Saeed joked.
Disa laughed but hugged Erik tight. Her oldest brother spoke up.
"We get more time with him. I don't know how long, but for now, this is the best we have going," her brother Bilal said.
"Mommy said we should go home and get some rest. She's going to stay and wait for him to wake up. When he has the strength, we can come back," she said.
"I'll stay here," Bilal said.
Both of Disa's brothers were big, beautifully dark-skinned, muscular men, much bigger than their father.
"Do you want to stay?" Erik asked.
He knew Disa was mentally and physically exhausted.
"I want to be here for my, Mom."
"Go to the house, we'll watch over Mom," Saeed said.
"I want to pray," Disa said.
"There is a chapel on the second floor," Dante said. "I remember a "Du'a."
"Thank you," Disa said.
They filed behind Dante and walked to an elevator that took them to the hospital chapel. It was a small room with Christian decorations, but they made do. Squatting down to their knees, they faced east, and Erik's grandfather used his voice to lift Disa's family.
"In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful. All praise is due to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds. The Most Compassionate, the Most Merciful. Master of the Day of Judgment. You alone we worship, and you alone we ask for help. Guide us to the straight path. The path of those you have blessed… not of those who have incurred your wrath, nor of those who have gone astray…"
Dante spoke with conviction and power. He recited a few prayers of healing, and Disa recited them back in Arabic with her brothers. Erik was able to understand from his lessons with his love, and his heart swelled with pride at having his grandfather care for her spiritual health.
Erik held her hand in the chapel after the others left to go wait in the main room downstairs.
"I would like for my father to come stay with us, Erik."
She turned to look at him.
"It's a lot to ask of you. I know you wanted us to spend our summer together enjoying each other. I've been away from my father for so long, living on the east coast. I want to spend a couple of months with him in my world. Give my mother and brothers a break. We share a home now and I need your input because it's a lot to ask—"
"Baby… it's not. If I had my father or mother here in this world, there's nothing I wouldn't do to make them comfortable and happy."
"Erik… I'm sorry. I put this burden on you and you're about to go away—"
"Disa…"
He pressed his face into her cheek.
"I love you. Ain't no weight I can't carry when it comes to you. We have the time, the space, and the finances to do this together."
"It's a lot… maybe it's not fair to you."
"Girl, stop. We are family now. I'm not just your boyfriend. I'm your man."
Her face crumbled, and he allowed her to release the pent-up emotions swelling in her heart.
"That man gave me you. The least I can do is make his daughter happy. Give you time together. Let's go to the house, get some rest, and then we can figure out how soon he can travel back with us."
She nodded, and he comforted her more, murmuring corny jokes Ahmad had shared with him about her. Her giggles and soft smiles warmed his heart.
An hour later, they were back in her mother's house, waiting for more news. Lying on the couch together, she spoiled him with his scalp massages as he rested his head on her lap. Pressed against her breasts, he stared up at her. His adored one.
###
Ahmad lifted his hand and gestured toward his mouth.
Erik turned off the music player Disa'a father listened to.
"More soup or one of the chocolate meal shakes?" Erik asked.
Ahmad held up one finger. Soup.
Recovery was slow for him. Erik's grandfather returned to Oakland, and the rest of Disa's family had to return to jobs and regular life. Family members visited often once Ahmad left the hospital. It took a lot of coaxing from them to convince Theresa to let him move to the east coast. She ticked off all the reasons to leave him with her. Number one was giving Erik and Disa space to love up on each other before Erik left for basic training. He appreciated her push to have them be alone for the summer, but he wanted Disa to have what she desired. Time with her father. She had already hired a private nurse to help them once they flew back to Cambridge. There was an organized schedule for Ahmad, and Disa planned out their time, even private time, for her and Erik. He reassured her about money being available. Tony Stark gifted him with five million dollars from a poker game he won two years ago. Erik parlayed that into investments to take care of his family. Disa was his family. He treated her the way he would a wife.
The thought sat in his mind and heart.
When he was older and better established, he was going to wife her up. There would come a time when he would have to reveal things to her the way his father did his mother, but he would do it a lot sooner. When he bagged a Special Ops assignment, he was going to talk to Disa about being his for life. Despite his youth, Erik had been through enough women to know what a future Mrs. Stevens would be. His boat was docked next to her and there was no denying him what he wanted in a wife. He wouldn't make the mistake his father did by hiding everything. Once he was settled into the Navy, he was going to tell her about his royal title and what lay ahead. She was a ride or die like his Mom. When he snatched the throne of Wakanda, this was the Queen he wanted by his side. A daughter of the diaspora who knew what was up.
"Give me a minute, Ahmad. I'll bring you the soup and the electrolytes. Sit tight."
Erik wandered out of the bedroom and found Disa in the kitchen with her Mom cooking their dinner for later early.
"He's ready for soup," Erik said.
He grabbed a saucer to heat the homemade beef broth that Theresa made for him.
"Just take this out of the oven in one hour and we can make the rolls later," Theresa said as she patted his shoulder.
A fat pot roast was pushed back into the oven after she checked it. Erik stirred the soup on top of the stove. Disa kissed his cheek, and the women scampered off to get a mani-pedi. He poured the soup into a red bowl and grabbed a Pedialyte bottle from the fridge. Placing everything onto a light portable folding tray, he carried the meal into Ahmad's bedroom.
"Here we go, Sir. Savory beef soup and some cherry-flavored…"
Ahmad's eyes were bright. He sat up in his bed with fluffy pillows supporting his back. A beatific smile spread his generous lips. Erik sat the tray away from the man and held his hand tight. A rush of heat centered at the top of his head and rushed down through Erik's body. Déjà vu washed over him.
"Please, Ahmad," Erik whispered.
Erik snatched his cell from his back pocket. His eyes checked the digital clock on the nightstand. Ahmad's four suitcases stood packed and ready by the closet. Disa picked up his call on the third ring.
"Hey baby, what did you forget to tell me?"
Disa's voice was perky and like music to his ears.
"Baby… I need you to come back to the house right now. Please—"
"What is it?"
Erik kept his voice calm.
"Disa, just come back."
