Chapter 45

Wee change of scene. Let me know what you think.

Jack didn't know where he was going. He just knew he had to get away. From the hatch, he walked straight. He didn't know which direction, but just that he kept going forward. It was the first time in his life he wanted to kill someone. Ben. Or Frank. He'd settle for either. Every time he closed his eyes, he sees Sawyer. Unconscious. Hears him in pain. Knows there is nothing he can do. It was like everything had been moving fast. Now it was standing still. Antibiotics and painkillers. That was all he thought of. But now? Now what? How did he go forward? How did Sawyer go forward? It was like they were stuck. All he can do is keep him out of pain... and he didn't even do that right.

"Jack?"

He had been in his own world. He didn't know where he was. Until he turned, seeing Jin and Sun, sitting at her garden.

"Jack? Are you ok?" She looked worried, standing and walking over, "We have missed you so much." As she hugged him, Jack felt his body relaxing. "What happened? Mike and Sayid have told us nothing... just that you were at the hatch."

"It was The Others."

"They said. But are you ok?"

"Yeah. Yeah I'm fine but Sawyer..."

"Sawyer? He's with you?"

"Yeah. He's... at the hatch. But you can't tell anyone. You can't. Not now. You have to wait..."

"Ok. Ok. I promise. Sit down." As they sat next to Jin, he put his arm around Jack's shoulders.

"Sawyer... ok?" Jack looked at him, feeling the emotion well inside him. It was the first time anyone had asked.

"No. No he isn't," shaking his head to make sure Jin understood, Jack put his face in his hands. He felt the tears sting his eyes, fall down his face. He didn't care, feeling Sun put her hand on the back of his head. But the tears didn't stop. Jack doesn't know how long they sat there. Just the three of them, in Sun's garden. But when he regained control and opened his eyes, they were both still there. They were planting something, talking to each other. Jack didn't know what they were saying. But he just sat and listened.

"Are you ok?" Jack didn't realise it was English until Sun said his name. "Jack? Are you ok?"

"Yeah. Yeah I'm fine... I'm sorry about..."

"No, do not apologies. You can take your time. We want to know you are ok."

"I haven't been sleeping much..."

"Neither has Walt. Or Mike. Or Sayid actually. Is Sawyer... what is wrong?"

"Sawer was with us. The Others... they almost killed him."

"What... we thought..."

"No. Sawyer didn't leave. He was with us. He's at the hatch. He... he's injured. Badly." He didn't want to tell them too much. That was up to Sawyer. But he had to tell them something.

"Will he be ok?"

"I hope so." He looked at her, seeing the questions she wanted to ask but didn't. Jin was still planting, looking up every time Sawyer's name was mentioned.

"Would you like to help us?" She looked at him intently.

"Yeah, sure."

It was getting dark when Jack got back to the hatch. John was asleep near the computer. Mike was gone. The place was silent. Jack walked through to the room Sawyer was in. He opened the door, seeing Rose sitting beside Sawyer. She was reading a book out loud to him. Jack smiled.

"What you reading?"

She looked over at him. But she didn't smile.

"Moby Dick. It's all they have. Where have you been?"

"I'm sorry. I went for a walk..."

"Where?"

"I'm not sure. But I ended up at Sun's garden."

"You spoke to her?"

"Yeah, and Jin. I told... told them he was here. No details. But I told them. I didn't mean to..."

"What did they say?" Her question made him smile.

"They were worried about him. Asked if he was ok. I needed to hear someone be worried about him, after everything."

"Are you ok?"

"Not really. But I'm feeling better. This is just... overwhelming. But I'm here."

"He's ok. The morphine..."

At hearing the word, Jack closed his eyes, "How bad..."

"Don't worry. His pulse slowed, he's been out of it since. But he's ok. It's ok."

"I just saw him in pain and I reacted. I've seen him in pain too much, I just..."

"It's ok. Just... don't do it again."

"Copy that." They sat in silence, watching Sawyer breath. "When did Mike and Walt leave?"

"Not long ago. We let him sleep. Mike says he hasn't slept that long since you guys got back. We told him Sawyer was sleeping, that he can come back in a few days."

Jack walked close to the bed, putting his hand on Sawyer's, looking at him. Rose was saying something about the weather, but all Jack focussed on was the movement of Sawyer's fingers.