Chapter 47
Tried something I always thought was missing from the show... let me know what you think.
It had been a week since he had told them. And while they hadn't come to the hatch, they had been asking about him. Part of Jack thought they wouldn't. That hearing what had happened wouldn't change how they felt. But it had. Each time Sayid, Mike, Walt or Kate had visited, they told him that people were asking, making sure they knew people were worried. Sawyer was getting stronger, eating more. He was able to sit up more. Was awake most of the day. But with this came the old Sawyer. Not wanting people to help him, sending people away. Defensive. Moody. That's why Jack spent most of his time outside the room. Rose was still trying, but they had forgotten what he was like.
"I'm fine. Leave it..." Again, Jack was drawn to the room. Sawyer was picking a fight with Rose about food. "Back off. I can do it myself."
"Sawyer..."
"It's ok Rose. Leave. He'll do it himself." They both looked at him, Sawyer grabbing the tray not looking at Rose, who left the room. Jack just closed the door, following her.
"Rose..."
"He's starting to piss me off."
"He's still recuperating. He'll be like this for a while..."
"He is like this. This is him. It's not just a while, this is what he's like. A nightmare."
"Keep your voice down."
"No. He's being ungrateful. You saved him. We saved him. We've been worried about him, helping him. He doesn't care."
"He saved Walt."
"I know. But he's not even trying to get better. Just lying there. If he can argue back, he can do more. If he is still like this, and rescue comes..."
"We'll manage."
"He won't make it to the beach."
"He will. We'll help him."
"He will slow us..."
"That doesn't matter. He slows us down... then he slows us down. I'm not leaving him behind."
They just looked at each other, John having come out of the food store. They didn't realise how loud they were.
"He needs to walk Jack."
"Rose..."
"Jack. He needs to walk. He's just lying doing nothing..."
"Fine, he'll walk," Jack walked past Rose to the closed door, opening it, storming up to Sawyer, not hearing what he said.
"What are you... are you ok?"
"You need to get up."
"Jack! Stop!" Rose tried to grab his arm, but he shook it off. He reached for Sawyer, pulling his arm over. He heard him groan in pain, but Sawyer didn't stop him. Jack moved his legs, pulling them over the side of the bed. Sawyer didn't stop him. Even when he yelled in pain. Jack was only vaguely aware of Rose telling him to stop, but he sat Sawyer up, not hearing yet another yell.
"Right, you're going to stand. Put your arm over my shoulders." He didn't wait for Sawyer to obey but grabbed his waist and hauled him up. He yelled, it was the loudest yet, his body folding in on itself and seemed to snap Jack out his haze. He looked at Sawyer's face, his eyes screwed shut in pain, vein bulging in his neck, teeth gritted. Breathing hard. This seconds loss of concentration made Jack loosen his grip. Without the strength to hold his own weight, Sawyer crashed to the ground.
Jack just stood there as John and Rose ran around him. They knelt beside Sawyer, checking he was ok. His body was shaking. Jack stood still, trying to remember what had just happened. It felt like someone else had done it. He knelt.
"No. No. Stay away from him. What the hell is wrong with you?"
"Rose I just..."
"No. Get out, you did this. Look at him..."
"Leave him. Leave him alone." Sawyer's shout came out ragged and pained, "He's right. I need to..."
"No..."
"You said it yourself." She just looked at him, knowing he had heard their argument. Silence followed while Sawyer tried to regain control. Jack looked at him, their eyes meeting.
"You guys... you should go. Go. Close the door. I'll... I've got him." John looked at Jack, nodding slightly. He stood, holding his hand out for Rose. She looked down at Sawyer, who nodded at her. She didn't want to leave, but then Sawyer told her to go.
Once they were gone, Jack helped Sawyer sit on the floor, resting his back against the bed. He sat beside him.
"I'm sorry..."
"No. Don't. You were right. I... I need to move."
"Don't rush it. Your injuries... it's amazing you're alive. I shouldn't have done it. You need to rest."
"Stop. She's right. We get rescued and I can't..."
"We won't leave you."
"I know. That's the problem. You'd stay."
They just looked at each other.
"Is that why you've been pissy? You want to make sure we'd leave you behind? Because... that will never happen."
"I've been stuck in that bed 24/7 for at least three weeks now. Excuse me if I'm not a ray of sunshine."
"Fair point."
"I don't..." But he stopped.
"You don't what?"
"I'm not a fan of small spaces. Being trapped in." At this Jack laughed. He stopped as soon as he saw the expression on Sawyer's face. He felt it happen. Sawyer closing himself up. Withdrawing.
"Sorry. I didn't mean... I just didn't expect you to... I'm sorry, ok?"
"Whatever. Help me up."
Jack looked at him for a second, wondering if he should say something else. But he took Sawyer's arm, linking it over his shoulder. The morphine was strong, but Sawyer still gasped in pain.
"Chest?"
"Yeah. The skin."
"It's ok. It's the burn. It'll get better. Are you ready?"
"Yeah."
Jack stood, half helping half pulling Sawyer with him. It wasn't far until they were sitting on the bed, but Sawyer was breathing hard, sweat on his face. Jack removed the arm around his shoulders, Sawyer groaning in pain.
"Why didn't you tell me you were still feeling like this? I thought you were feeling better."
"It's ok."
"Stop that."
"Stop what?"
"Saying things are ok when they aren't. You did it the whole time we were... I want to help you. And I can if you let me."
"And how much supplies have you used? Morphine, antibiotics...?
"Don't do that. You needed them. Need them."
"And what if someone else gets sick? You need to lay off the meds. This isn't your fancy hospital where things don't run out. If someone else needs them and there isn't any left...It's ok. I can handle it."
"You can either get better, or save resources. You can't do both. The pain almost killed you. The infection almost killed you. I won't stop giving you what you need. I won't see you in pain like that again."
"Jack..."
"Sawyer no. I won't do it to you."
"Help me up."
"We are up..."
"No, standing. But gentle this time." He smirked at Jack, starting to laugh when he got no response, grimacing in pain.
"It's not a good idea."
"Just do it."
Against his better judgement, Jack put Sawyer's arm over his shoulders, putting his arm around Sawyer's torso. On the count of three, they stood. He groaned in pain but held his weight.
"Good. That's good. We'll just sit..."
"No, keep going."
"Sawyer. No. We shouldn't rush it."
"Do it."
Jack watched as he took a deep breath, moving his left foot. He managed. But when he moved his right, he stumbled. Jack caught him, pulling him back to the bed.
"Son of a bitch."
"That was really good. After everything. I'm impressed."
"I barely walked two steps."
"There's no rush."
"Yes. There is. I need out this room."
