A/N: nobody asked but I listen to alternative/just mooDy songs when writing. thanks for reading three chpters….it has been a story so far/

enjoy~


"Yuuri-!"

I just fell. I remembered myself falling, the thud. The small noise from Viktor, footsteps. There was just too much blackness in my vision. I was okay. I didn't actually faint. I was just too tired. Sure. But it all passed in slow motion yet a split heartbeat. The confusion. The appeal.

Yet I knew deep inside that I didn't want this happening to me.

My eyes were open as soon as I could respond to the shouting.

"How long was I out?"

"Around five seconds." He told me, "I thought you were faking because...well because..."

"I'm sorry." I said, my lower lip wobbling.

My emotions were everywhere but I mostly felt...guilty for being caught.

"Don't be sorry- You shouldn't overwork yourself-" He cut himself off, clearing his throat.

"Like you don't." I said.

I backtracked as soon as it came out of my mouth.

"Sorry." I apologized.

He sighed, nodding.

Viktor continued: "But please stop working out behind my back. You have a schedule. Please. I have a reason for these things. Like...food is fuel? These workouts strengthen...but only if you rest to repair your body."

"Ok." I nodded and sat up.

"Well...now that's done...what were you going to say something before? Before you...?"

"Oh...nothing important. Just that I think that I had a problem with following the schedule which we can both see is a huge problem." I gazed away.

"Well. Ok." He stood up like this all didn't happen.

I stayed quiet.

"I am going to go finish their schedules. Come rest on the couch in my office."

I nodded, getting up my by myself. There was still a trace of blackness at the edges of my vision.

I followed him although I didn't want to.

The unsaid words between us were: I am going to watch you lay on the couch so you don't work out again.

This was the first time I ever felt tension in our relationship.

Viktor was typing out and editing schedules as well as little notes and suggestions to each client while I was on my phone, lying down. Resting. The tension in the room was eased down by time but I felt it in my gut that this was a rocky patch that was only going to keep getting rockier with my continueing unhealthy habits.

I googled signs of fainting. I already knew (Or I thought I did.) from experience but I got tips on how to avoid it. And boy did I want to avoid that happening again. I had to hide this better. This was somthing that I had and something that I couldn't let affect and ruin our relationship.

I knew I had to ease up on what I was doing. So I decided to eat regular meals again.

Then I decided to only one unplanned not-on-the-schedule workout to be only ten minutes.

Then I decided to put a password on my phone to hide the food logging app.

I was doing better already.

.

The next day after practice we were at a restaurant.

Our relationship felt less like a togetherness and more like he was watching me, Big Brother style. The food was ok. Talking with him at the restaurant was good. After the meal I put down the tip for the both of us, Viktor paying the bill in full. As I got up, I looked at my plate, the food was barely touched, only a couple of bites and it rearranged to look like I ate more. The atmosphere of the establishment was quaint, a bit too busy. We dodged a couple of reporters lingering outside, and ducked into the alleyway together.

I pushed myself against the wall before he could. Viktor's shoulder rested on the wall, facing me sideways. We both held a better vibe than earlier in the day but Viktor seemed worn out now, even after a balanced meal. I looked him in the eye because I would feel guilty if I didn't at least take a stab at it. To keep it balanced.

"How are you doing Viktor?"

"Yuuri I..." He put on a smile, "I'm tired you know...just coaching and training. I'm glad today is an easy day since the schedule...but...yea." He shrugged, we already both knew what I did.

"Okay. I can tell you are not doing so hot. Just cancel a photo-shoot or get a employee. I can even help."

I put a hand on his shoulder.

"You know I need to get some publicity out there to help my image. Keep money coming in the future."

"Can you at least go to the doctor? Please?"

I looked in his face for an answer and saw that his under his eyes looked darker than usual.

"Fine. I'll check it out, but it is just probably from overworking. Nothing a break can't fix. Yea..."He sighed after he finished.

He didn't want to say yes to this. He wanted to do the same old same old. He wanted to keep pushing. I knew he wanted to get even better, stay at the top of the league. I knew. I knew this.

"Thank you. Well. Okay. You know that I love you." I said in earnst, "As a trainee and your fiance."

"I love you too-as your coach and as your fiance."

"Alright? Is that it? You good?" I asked.

"Alright. Da. Yes." He replied.

There was a silence.

"I just want us to be all good." Viktor said.

"We're good." I replied, kissing him in a dim alleyway.

I wish we were.

.