a/n: I feel myself getting back into my old running and restricting habits so this story deserves an update. I just went through and re-read all the chapters and there are some infodumps which I wish I could splice up but this chapter.
ch6
While in the bathroom washing my face, splashing it with water the next day after noticing Yurio's scratches.
I couldn't help but thinking about them.
They looked like they hurt and there was something more that was going on in his life that caused him to do this. I stared at myself in the mirror, dull eyes looking back at me. My skin was pale but held an ok color. The food restriction that I was doing made my times faster though felt way harder.
I scrubbed my face lightly; I needed to lose more weight so I scrubbed harder. A pang from my heart made me stop mid-scrub, it felt like there was something pulling at it. I cupped water in my hands and prayed it would go away as I rinsed my face.
As I was pat face dry the feeling in my chest came back.
It didn't feel natural to have. I didn't know what to do so I stared at myself with shocked expression on my face, towel in my hands, labored breathing.
"Ow." I put a hand to my chest and gasped.
A voice from the other side of the door, "Hey Lozer! We are leaving in two minutes and if you aren't out we will leave without you."
"No we aren't honey." A pause. "But please hurry!"
Fast Russian was exchanged between the two outside the door and I couldn't help but smiling. They were acting childish and I knew this was good for Viktor and normalcy for Yurio. It seemed like it was going to be a good day.
I opened the door, "Hey guys."
They suddenly stopped arguing in Russian.
"Hey." Yurio looked up at me, giving me an scrutinizing look.
"What?" I asked, unsure.
"You look pale and your face looks less dumb than usual." Yuuri snapped at me and stalked towards the front door.
"Sorry. I told him to be nice and well...he didn't sleep well...uh. Because he was up all night thinking of his crush." Viktor's voice pitched his voice a tone lower to a whisper, "You know, obviously not that but I'll tell you later if I remember."
"I heard that! I do not like soda! It is fizzy and gross." Yurio stomped down the hallway.
I smiled and looked to my fiancé, he just gave a small smile back.
"English isn't his first language? Bilingual?" I asked Viktor.
"Yes and no. Three languages actually. He's working on Japanese right now. All the mistakes are very funny though I can imagine its embarrassing."
I laughed at this, knowing how it felt because I knew Japanese and English fluidly. I followed Viktor. After the fifteen minute warm up we did drills.
I gasped in the middle of drills, and stood behind my teammates while holding my chest. I shook my head and caught up with them, Viktor giving me a curious glance.
I smiled back at him, acting like it was nothing.
.
Just as we were lining up at the start line, I put a hand to my chest, gasping again. The feeling wouldn't just go away.
I froze when I heard, "Hey. Yuuri come over here." Viktor instructed, "Now, please. Here."
"Ok." I did so.
"Are you feel like you are going to pass out or...Please."
"Im not." I shook my head lightly.
"What's happening then?" He took a hitched breath in, biting his lip.
"My chest hurts a bit." I said.
"Oh." He said in a small tone, nodding.
I sat down on the grass because the feeling was too much.
He sighed, sitting down next to me, explaining, "Walk around the track four times for cool down. Be careful. I'll call up my- uh- ah- The word? Oh- Doctor. A friend. Stop walking if your chest hurts."
Yuri came up to us, "Hey. Can I go back to my place? This is getting kind of boring and if we aren't going to do actual practice...Well I got a long day tomorrow."
I looked at Viktor, standing from his spot next to me then to the inpatient Yuri, he was tapping his foot.
"Let him go. Practice won't help today." I stood, dots invading my vision.
I walked away from them.
My head started pounding, I didn't bother to tell Viktor since I knew that it was from dinner yesterday that wasn't very much; only an apple and a slice of toast. Breakfast today was a cup of coffee with a dash of creamer.
My heart didn't hurt the walk around the track for a cooldown but it now ached with longing to stop keeping secrets.
But I had to keep them otherwise I wouldn't be enough.
My weight was proof of it.
.
