Author's notes:

Thank you so much for your review on the last chapters :)

So that you know,

The quoted dialogues in bold are from the story while those in italic are from the show.

Music

'Can you hear me' | Unsecret


YOUR KING

4


Chloe has tried very hard not to think of Lucifer for the rest of the day. She had nearly succeeded until early evening, when she had to put Trixie to bed. If it hadn't been for the latter's question, she could have hoped to keep up like this until sleep takes her.

"Is Lucifer gonna stay with us now?"

Chloe isn't ready, no matter how much time passed since he's been back - she's not, as much about giving an answer to her daughter as about getting one from the most concerned one. This 'not now' thing they have tried to build between the sensitive limit of the heavy silence and the dawn of a new conversation weakens; for just one question.

She pulls the blanket up to Trixie's shoulders - the sky-blue color enhancing the darker hue she wears for the night. She comfortably wedges Miss Alien under one arm and starts to play with the visible yarns of the blanket with the other. She has asked the question without looking at her mother, fully aware - even at her age - that the subject is thorny. Besides her unexpected maturity, Trixie had plenty of time to realize that 'Lucifer' - the name as much as the overall subject - is complicated to come up to with her.

Chloe's memories about this period have left a bitter taste.

She still has a lot to make up for.

"It's hard to know for sure, sweetie... we haven't had time to talk about it yet, he and I, you know?"

"Mmh... but he'll stay, right?"

Mother and daughter look at each other, one's uncertainties meeting the other's. Chloe smiles and takes her hand in hers, sitting on the bed. "Lucifer's here for a while, Monkey; you don't have to worry."

It's true. This is all she got from him.

Trixie frowns, playing with Chloe's fingers. "But why did he leave us?"

"Well, he... he had some problems to resolve to—"

Chloe hesitates.

How to define Hell, the assertive handling - mortal even, in many ways - of an army of demons of which she only got a glimpse of herself in the Mayan church? This isn't 'home', it's nowhere and everywhere at the same time. This isn't something to tell to a child who's almost nine. Her daughter's maturity has its limits and, as a mother, it's Chloe's duty to keep these limits in place as long as possible.

She clears her throat, putting a lock of hair behind her ear.

"He had to go back to his former job, to do some important stuff that was left out too long."

Her explanation doesn't satisfy Trixie.

"He shouldn't stay in Hell that long."

Chloe frowns, her daughter shaking her head while perfectly faking her mother's annoyed tone, "I know who Lucifer is, Mom."

"What do you mean?"

"I saw Maze's real face ages ago," she explains, insisting on the last word.

Chloe can't say she did.

Maze's 'real' face, uh? It's very likely that the demon has nothing to envy when compared to Lucifer's face, but she can't help but feel curious about this. So much time has passed since then; so many things, revelations, departures and returns, that Chloe is still surprised about her overall ignorance. There are some details she should have known for a while, shouldn't she?

There's a detail - more important than her roommate's face - that she should know; for two weeks.

"Oh, right!" exclaims Chloe, amused. "Looks like you're a lot more with it than I am."

"I'm nine," Trixie replies as if it explains everything.

Chloe smiles.

"Right. Well... from 'nine being with it' to me; I think the same about Lucifer. No one should stay that long down there. Even the King."

"He doesn't look like a king to me."

"Is that so?"

Trixie shakes her head, playing once more with the yarns of the blanket. "He has no crown, long train, or scepter, like in the movies."

"You're right. But he has a throne."

Her daughter's eyes are wide opened with delight now. "Really?"

Chloe nods, smiling at her with this 'mother-child complicity'.

"That's what he told me."

"Come on, Detective! It's been ages since I sat in a throne!"

There's no doubt that his point of view on the matter has changed since then. Who could regret such royalty, such a seat of power in these circumstances? Who could regret the long loneliness, the slow decrepitude of his soul, his heart, the memories left by someone else?

Trixie's joy brings her back to lighter thoughts, if not more 'present' ones.

"That's so cool!"

"It is, yeah."

One last time, she runs her hand along the blanket, then tenderly along her daughter's cheek - she will 'be with it' soon enough, out of the innocent and fragile curves of childhood.

Time changes so many things.

"Come on honey, it's sleepy time. Goodnight," she says and she kisses the spot where she placed her hand a second ago.

"Goodnight, mommy."

Chloe stretches her hand towards the bedside lamp, partially plunging the bedroom into darkness, the light still on in the corridor coming through the ajar door. When she arrives there, she turns around, for a single question.

"Will you ask him, mommy? Ask Lucifer."

"Ask him what, Monkey?"

"To stay with us."

Chloe stands on the doorstep without saying a word, she stays more time than it takes to say just one. A 'yes', a 'no'. One or the other, she can't resolve to say it. For a single question, the answer isn't.

"Sleep tight, sweetie," she finally says.

Chloe wouldn't for sure.

-xXx-


Many minutes pass before she even thinks of climbing into her own bed, of turning on her own bedside lamp in anticipation of some relaxing ritual for the sleep to come. She has found a lot of things to do throughout the apartment.

She always does.

Laundry, tidying clothes, tidying Maze's stuff and placing it out of Trixie's reach. Being with it or not, she is certainly not with those. Taking the trash out, preparing Trixie's snack to save some time tomorrow, time she keeps trying to waste on useless tasks, for less thoughts in mind.

Less thinking.

Even comfortably seated in her bed, Chloe keeps eluding the most obvious, fleeing sleep and thoughts of a single person, of a single question, seeking leads and clues instead. It's hard to distinguish blanket and sheets under the large pile of opened files in front of her, hard to find something really useful in these as well. Names, addresses before admission, after expulsion or reinsertion - to a good reputable university or shyer faculty according to the sponsors' wishes, who got more along with some kids than any other one. All these kids, all these sponsors...

Chloe rapidly browses the amount of money given by one of them over a year; not high enough to really boast about, indeed. Mrs Harris didn't exaggerate about the current state of their financing.

"When I tell you that selfless acts are rare."

Shaking her head, she throws this file at the end of the bed, grabbing another one. Pages after pages, minutes after minutes, she seeks something, this 'thing' that would make a difference and further the investigation with giant strides. This file reports a few thorny cases of exclusions, some for frequent fights, some other for theft, but nothing fundamentally alarming or looking wrong in this kind of place of help and support.

Violence is a human thing, at least this instinctive rejection of any help from anyone willing to offer it. It's all the more usual when it comes from these teenagers - eager to fend for themselves, convinced they can, without anyone's help. Violence is a human thing, so is erring.

"We were wrong about something else in the prophecy..."

Chloe dog-ears the page she's browsing, pinched lipped, before she starts to read the next one, then the next file which is opened near her right thigh. She has a glance at the staff list, not really recalling the names and faces from pictures here and there. Many other names, authority figures for these kids who are always hurring to live by their own means, according to their own rules.

"I need to keep them contained, they must have a king."

"He doesn't look like a king to me."

"You'll bow down, to your King!"

Chloe closes her eyes, clenching her jaw.

"Dammit…" she mutters, dropping the file between her thighs.

She stretches her arm towards the bedside table, taking her glass filled with Bourbon and barely drunk so far. She smells its fragrance, a heady reminder of the same one that has touched her lips a few hours earlier, which has brushed her cheek, who is—

"—the King," she says aloud. Her gaze gets lost further than the walls of her bedroom, further than her apartment, than the ends of the earthy plane.

Lucifer has informed her of these 'side effects', but she has thought that she would serenely live this all new situation. His return shouldn't be more difficult to live with than his departure, that's what she has hoped. She has hoped for better sleep, better breathing, among other things. Or that she wouldn't endure this weight stuck between her ribs, between each heartbeat. She has hoped for filling this void in her mind - day and night.

She has hoped for better than this, better for…

"—the Queen."

"He found his rightful queen, didn't he?"

He actually did. He did come back to her.

|Two weeks earlier|

xx

It's an off day.

Off him, like the other days, weeks and months. Off him, off her.

Off.

Chloe can count the 'on' days on the fingers of one hand. It would have taken her much more to list the effects that Lucifer's absence have had on her life so far.

Off him.

Off effects, she should say. That's all these two words can express; nothing instead of everything, a so deep lethargy that even physical pain can't change her state. To be honest, she no longer feels the burning heat of the cup against her skin. Maybe because the coffee inside has been ice cold for a while now. She puts her cup on the table, the coffee cooled by this off 'everything', off appetite, off any real need for caffeine, just a need to grasp... a hold on something, if not a hold on her life off, on her feelings.

Is she turning into a cold-hearted monster? She often sees this gleam in Dan's gaze, this sudden shyness in Trixie's; so she starts to wonder. She has seen it this morning as well, before pouring herself this cup of coffee off sensations; she's seen it on Daniel's face. Trixie, on the other hand, has just rushed towards the door without asking her for more than a quick hug.

Off.

Chloe's eyes stop on the calendar.

She hasn't scratched off today's date yet. It's been staring at her since she has sat down, cup in hand, an off cup; its contents has barely touched her lips. The pen is right there, unused; eager to scratch this umpteenth off day, unable to distract her long enough from this void within her. It's a Wednesday like any other.

She distractedly turns the cup in her hands, not taking her eyes off this calendar.

It's her ritual; days 'on' as much as off days. Longer for off days. It wouldn't end any time soon.

Now left alone with her body of off sensations, the moment can last as long as she wants it to. Her boss doesn't care if she respects a specific work schedule or not, as long as the result of the investigation is on her desk at the end of the week. And the investigation is going well; she must wait for Ella's last check on clues, wait for the rest of the suspects to be summoned at the precinct, wait for that little something that would put her in the right direction.

She has all the time in the world, for this off day.

Chloe still hopes for a second that things would turn out differently. Maybe she would find this renewed energy, which has been locked somewhere, deep within her for almost six months. Maybe she would find it back and let it be - to give more attention to her daughter, to her friends and work.

She keeps hoping for this, here... now.

But this wouldn't last.

"Can't say the same about my stamina, can I?"

She closes her eyes, her fist clenched under her chin.

An off day, for sure.

"Goodbye."

It's her breath against her skin, hers... not his.

Opening her eyes, she tastes the cold coffee filling her cup, cringing with disgust.

"Looks like someone needs a single malt cappuccino."

She shakes her head, takes another sip.

"A single malt latte?"

"Get out of my head, Lucifer…" she sighs.

Not expecting any real relief, Chloe is pulled out of her thoughts by a weak knock against the door. She lowers her cup, frowning.

"Dan, is that you?" she asks, halfway to the door.

Mug in hand, the other on the handle; she's still wondering who it can be while she lets the fresh air from the street rush inside her house. "Did Trixie forg—?"

"I'm afraid I can't answer you, Detective."

Her gaze stops at a jaw; stubbly, tense. Without going higher, without going lower. She stops at the trembling Adam's apple, a slight tremor… so slight.

"I've barely joined the earthly game."

Her hearing stops at the intonation, the British accent, at her panicked heartbeats. It stops at the noise of broken ceramic at her feet, her hand freed from her mug, from cold coffee. She stops at the hearing of this deep, slightly trembling breath.

No.

No.

It's… It's an off day. Off him.

He can't be here. He—

It's an off day.

Off.

She blinks; each time with him, each time off doubts. He's not leaving, nor vanishing in the air like he always did in her memories, her nightmares. He's not moving, not talking. An off day is still possible. It's not the first time she—

Chloe doesn't look any higher, any lower.

She touches instead.

She touches, only brushes the white shirt with her fingertips. No, it's grey. She touches the buttons, the stitchings, the snags under the jacket; she touches the jacket too. She touches the collar, the neck, the unmoving jaw.

It's supposed to be an off day.

Off touch, off feeling, off… off him.

Her breathing quickens. She's touching with both hands now. His chin, his cheekbones, his mouth. Her gaze finally follows her hands, her touch which keeps going higher and higher. Which stops right under his eyes.

His eyes.

It's—

"L-Lucifer?"

This gleam crossing his gaze, she can't have imagined it. The gleam can't vanish in the air; she's touching him, holding him, holding his face in her hands. He can't vanish, he's not a vision.

It's him.

This is his gaze.

This is his voice, "Chloe."

A breath against her skin is all she needs, not more than a smile - his. She doesn't need more to forget every off day, to pull him towards her, probably too fast, too abruptly... to be with him, to feel him fully here, with her.

Chloe pulls him with all the strength that these off days have taken from her, Lucifer joins her, both unrestrained. 'Off' restraint seems fine to her, that's all she needs. His hands against her back, which nearly rip her robe in half, whose heat reaches her skin underneath; his fast breathing that never stops brushing her neck, their both raging heartbeats, in this tight embrace, off restraints, off real difference between the sounds of one or the other.

No restraints.

They end sitting on the threshold somehow; neither inside nor outside, in this space between, between emotions, off and on. He's with her, she's with him. She cries without holding back, he hugs her all the same, not caring about anything, anyone else but her. He laughs against her skin, his lips pecking light kisses along the line of her neck from where her tears arise.

"I haven't forgotten you, you see... you can feel it, can't you?"

He inhales deeply, makes her shiver, he shivers with her.

With.

With her.

"How would I?" he whispers.

Chloe's still sobbing, laughing, sobbing again; unable to stop, just listening to his voice and feeling his body against hers, seeing her tears soaking into the fabric of his collar, slightly changing its grey hue in some spots. She crumples the fabric, twists it between her fingers, scratches it with that missing rage from that night. She has missed this feeling for months, for so many off days.

If their position is uncomfortable, perhaps embarrassing; he doesn't complain. He doesn't offer her to move, to live their relief in a less public place than her narrow threshold. He obliges her nothing, offers nothing more than this embrace that has no reason to stop, has every right to last. He doesn't oblige her to talk to him, to answer him.

"I missed you, my love," he breathes later, much later.

She smiles against his skin. "'My' l-love, uh?"

His hands move down in her back.

"Too soon for this?" he worries.

She shakes her head, not moving away from him; even for this. "Late," she corrects him. "Damn, m-much too late."

She's gonna burn the damn calendar. She will, later.

Lucifer flinches and starts to move away from her, just enough for their cheeks to touch. He sounds much more hesitant; "I... of course, I should have taken this into account. I can leave if that's what you w—"

Chloe digs her fingers deep into the fabric of his jacket, not caring much about accidentally hurting him. She can't stand to watch him walk away from her. He flinches again, but stops moving.

"Don't you dare leave my arms!"

A laugh.

"Who's a wee bit possessive now, hm?"

"Shut up, Lucifer," replies Chloe, rolling her eyes, smiling in spite of everything, her lips are numb to smile so much, for so long.

So he shuts up, his breathing only echoing in the air, coming out of his lips. He's breathing fast, laboriously. She notices the way he relaxes in their embrace, he starts to be heavy in her trembling arms, more and more heavy with each passing minute.

"Took you long enough," she says, stroking his hair with her hand.

His fingers jerk in her back, his breath brushes her neck.

"W-well, I'd… 'ladly used an U-Uber if I c'uld."

It takes him longer to breathe in - longer than it takes to exhale and then inhale again.

"It would h'vebeenwa' f'ster…." he mutters, words and breath all mixed up in her hair.

"Lucifer?"

No answer. Chloe holds on to his breath that means life, although he's unresponsive in her clumsy embrace. She runs her hand through his hair again, it's strewed with ashes and other undefined things. It's probably better not to wonder further about these kinds of details. She takes a deep long breath instead; so loud and so freely that it feels like her lungs have never known better air than this.

She savours his sweaty skin against hers, the odd details in his hair between her fingers, the tears running down her eyelashes, tickling her cheeks. And her cheeks, god... her cheeks wearing this smile unwilling to disappear, willing to make her feel 'whole', make her feel everything at once, everything Lucifer has brought with him.

He's with her, he came back.

And, finally, she comes back to life.

xx

Empty glass, her hands turning it from one side to the other on her lap; Chloe is still coming back to this moment, to the memory of Lucifer's body weighing against hers, to this whole day and night sleeping on the couch - where his last remains of strength had abandoned him; where he had collapsed, utterly exhausted. She always comes back to her encouraging him to follow her to the living room, one wobbly step after another to reach this couch, this promise of rest. She comes back to his tired features, drained by torments she can hardly imagine, coming back to his hand that had held on to hers, that hadn't let go of her once.

She comes back to that 'renewed' feeling, how she came back to life, how it had marked his return that day.

Everything keeps feeling 'more' than usual to her, she's been feeling so much since he's been back.

"Go-... See you later, Chloe."

Too much, too intensely.

When she finally comes back to the files all over her bed, Chloe sighs wearily, then turns the empty glass between her fingers one more time, receptors of intense sensations, like the rest of her body, mind and soul.

She gathers this mess of paperwork to throw it towards the floor. She should take a break. Empty glass put down, light off and blanket lifted on her body which is no longer 'hers', she looks at the lunar reflections through the curtains.

Two weeks, only two weeks.

Morpheus' arms come around her. Chloe wishes desperately for other arms around her waist, other hands on her body.

She can only hope for a better tomorrow.


Lucifer's POV for the next chap X) As his first session with Linda. So… looooooots of dialogues to come!

I hope you liked this chapter as much as the previous one :)