"You were dropped on your head as a child. That has to be it." Shinichi was sitting with his head in his hands, completely ignoring Kaito and his brilliant idea.
"Not even once," Kaito singsonged, holding one shirt in front of his chest and then the other. The purple shirt really made his eyes pop, but it wouldn't look anywhere near as good on Shinichi. He contemplated the deep blue shirt again, trying to decide if the cut was acceptable.
"There is no reason at all to pretend we're twins. No reason," Shinichi repeated. "What did these people ever do to you?"
Kaito huffed. Shinichi was sucking all of the fun out of his schemes. "Did you not see the notice Jirokichi sent out to me? As if I'd let something like this stop me."
"You are going to wind up in the number one spot on Hakuba's suspicion list. You cannot seriously be considering this." Shinichi raised his head and grimaced.
Kaito rolled his eyes. He stripped out of his shirt and pulled on the blue one, striking a pose at a number of angles in front of the mirror. "I have a permanent spot at number one on Hakuba's list. And if I let Hakuba stop me, I might as well just give up on being Kid forever."
"You could compromise your career as a professional magician."
Kaito tensed, glaring at Shinichi for the under-handed blow. Shinichi looked ashamed, as well he should for using Kaito's greatest fear against him. "If you don't want to help, fine. Don't. But I'll need a new plan for entering the building, one which will be infinitely more dangerous and likely to be exposed. I'm sure I won't have a hard time, personally."
Shinichi was quiet, likely contemplating how serious Kaito was and weighing the odds of backing out versus serving as an accessory. Kaito brought his focus back to the mirror, fingering the neckline that remained a potential problem. It was terribly high and wouldn't complement the rest of the outfit, not that it mattered much for a post-disguise disguise and not the main event.
"You realize that Kuroba Kaito and Kudou Shinichi both are only children, right?" Shinichi asked, lumbering upright and marching to stand beside Kaito at the mirror. He couldn't have acted more unwilling, but Kaito could be magnanimous in this situation.
Kaito hummed. "We wouldn't be going as ourselves. I need a partner of a similar body type, same basic vocal patterns, and easily copied body language. I know you really well, we look uncomfortably alike, and you have some experience bending the rules to win, so all I need for you is to help me get in, and I'll take care of everything else."
"I'm going to get arrested," Shinichi said, but he stretched out an arm and Kaito went to him, edging into Shinichi's space and grinning into his shoulder. Shinichi hugged him and Kaito celebrated his victory as silently as possible. "You are going to get me arrested."
"I've never left a man behind." Kaito twisted and leaned over, pecking Shinichi's blush-pink cheek and slipping out of his hold. "Jirokichi can't bar every exit, not when I've been in his museum so often I don't even need the blueprints anymore."
"I'm sure he thought making every guard and guest, barring himself and Nakamori, either an identical or fraternal twin would be enough to stop you." Shinichi let Kaito take his measurements, obligingly holding out his arms and ignoring the inappropriate technique Kaito used to measure his inseam.
"Jirokichi and Nakamori sequestered themselves somewhere remote so I wouldn't have a chance to disguise as either of them," Kaito mused, copying down Shinichi's measurements and narrowing his eyes on his disguise closet. "Supposedly, there's an invitation list, handwritten by Jirokichi himself, so I can't just sneak in as two extra people."
"So you've bribed someone to not show up?"
"I have a pair of fans willing to pass on a mediocre performance if I volunteer my services for their upcoming fashion show. Their models will be wearing jewelry donated for one night only, and they think it'll give their premier line a fun twist to have Kaitou Kid stage a televised heist." Kaito ducked into his closet and started pulling the suits he'd need to modify for their disguises. "I show up, make a scene, and they rake in the proceeds."
"Do you get a commission?" Shinichi asked, and Kaito knew he was rolling his eyes without having to see his face.
"I get paid in pretty clothes. I send some requested sizes, and they'll manufacture some unique outfits just for me. Dresses, suits, day clothes, uniforms, whatever I like. Do you have any idea how hard it is to make my own disguises? I can hem, adjust, and tailor my suit in my sleep, but the rest of this? I know I make this look easy, but really." Kaito clutched his suits to his chest, poking his head out of the closet and pouting at Shinichi.
Shinichi scrunched up his nose at the clothes piled in Kaito's arms, and Kaito sighed.
"You can explore now. Don't touch anything by the far desk and do not, under any circumstances, try to play a record from the jukebox. Most of the buttons are booby-trapped and I haven't figured out how to disable them without setting something off."
Shinichi abandoned him without hesitation, scouring over every inch of the Kid's lair. Kaito dropped the suits on one of his workbenches, watching his boyfriend prowl around and discretely jab at things in hopes of sending something off.
"How did your father get a car in here?" Shinichi asked, zeroing in on the biggest and flashiest item in the room. Shinichi ran his hands over the bonnet of the car, a very hungry look on his face that Kaito was a bit miffed wasn't inspired by him.
"The floor drops, the wall opens, and there's a tunnel under the house that leads three blocks out. We can go joyriding some other time if you want."
"Did your father booby-trap it, too?"
"It can't turn into a plane or anything, but there's a full panel of buttons I haven't got a chance to play with. Big white car with that vanity plate would definitely attract attention." Kaito leaned back against his workbench and didn't even try to keep the smile off his face. Shinichi was still patting at the car, like it was an animal he needed to calm. "Try not to get too wrapped up. I'll have theses suits modified in a few hours and then we need to practice."
"Kay," Shinichi agreed, absent and dazed and obviously giddy in love with the Kid-mobile.
Kaito snorted.
