"Azusa-san, you can send in the next patient."

Kaito perked up, zeroing in on Kudou's voice just down the hall. Kazaam twitched, but stayed in place and Kaito was going to give him the biggest reward later.

Azusa, sweet and too genuine to not laugh at the spectacle they made, directed Kaito to the first receiving room. He tipped his hat up to her as he walked past her station. Kudou didn't look away from his clipboard when Kaito entered the room, but that was fine. He would have a few seconds to position himself for the best effect.

"You're just here for a check-up?" Kudou asked, still with his back to them. Kaito reached up and nudged Kzaam with a finger tip and tapped his wrist when he caught the bird's attention.

"Yep! I thought Kazaam was looking a little listless lately," Kaito said, putting as much pep into his voice as he could without sounding too crazed.

Kudou whirled around, scowling as Kaito smiled and Kazaam dropped his head, playing his part perfectly.

"You're here again?"

"Where else would I take a sick bird?" Kaito asked, reaching up to scoop Kazaam into his palms and hold him out to Shinichi. "Look at him. Doesn't he look off to you"?

Kudou's eyes darted to the bird then back to Kaito. Kaito could see the desire to have Kaito tossed out war with the obvious concern with Kazaam's behavior. Kudou rolled forward in his chair and took Kazaam delicately. They moved to the table in the center of the room and Kaito allowed himself to just watch.

Kudou directed all of his attention to the little dove, muttering and nodding along as he examined the dove. Kaito relaxed in his chair to watch, despite how much he wanted to hover right over Kudou's shoulder.

And Kaito knew better than to be so blatant.

"Have you switched anything in his diet?"

Kaito shook himself. "No. And I haven't changed anything in his environment either."

"Hm." Kudou spread one of Kazaam's wings, releasing him and directing Kazaam down to the table after a few minutes. "Does he interact much with the other bird you brought in?"

"Hocus?" Kaito asked, grinning as Kudou wrinkled his nose in distaste and nodded. "Hocus, Pocus, and Presto have their own dovecot. Kazaam lives with Abra, Kadabra, and Alakazam."

"And have they been having any issues?"

"I don't think so. Should I bring them in too?" Kaito leaned forward enough to see Kudou close his eyes and breathe quietly. Kazaam ruffled himself on the table, and Kaito tapped his wrist again when he looked over at the dove.

"I'm sure that won't be necessary." Kudou turned quickly, almost too fast for Kaito to drop his hands and paste on an innocent expression. "Unless you think it's for the best."

"It has been a while since I've had them checked. Should I space it out once a day or bring several at a time?" Kaito knew exactly what he'd prefer, but judging by the way Kudou tensed and ran an irate hand through his hair, he could guess what Kudou would prefer, too.

"How many birds do you have?"

"Forty-three," Kaito said promptly.

"Forty-three," Kudou repeated.

"And about seven rabbits, three snakes, and one very cranky cat." Kaito shrugged and spread his hands. "Would you like to see them too?"

"Why do you-" Kudou cut himself off, gesturing back at Kazaam. "Have any of the others displayed similar behavior?"

"Just Kazaam."

"Then it's unlikely I'll need to see them," Kudou said, offering his hand to Kazaam. He went obediently, but didn't break character. He was a very well trained bird. "I'd need to run tests to determine what exactly is wrong, but it's unlikely I'll find anything. Take him home and keep an eye on him. Bring him back if you notice any changes."

"That's it?" Kaito asked, getting to his feet reluctantly.

"That's it."

-X-

Kaito didn't manage to duck in time to avoid the seed cake that Hakuba threw at his head, sending the doves around him into a frenzy. Kaito shrieked, scrambling out of the assault and running for cover underneath the overhang.

"Asshole!"

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Hakuba shouted back, throwing another handful of seed cake at Kaito's back He dodged it, but barely. "Do you have any idea how much money it costs to get a check up for every single bird, snake, rabbit, cat and stray dog you can find?"

Kaito yelped as a seed cake bomb hit him in the back and he went down in a clumsy heap. The doves covered his back, and Kaito just sighed and stayed put.

"So you found the bank statement."

"Where it was stuffed into the vent with all the chocolate candy wrapper you claimed to not eat. I suppose found is still an accurate term." Hakuba stomped over and scattered the doves with a sweep of his hand. "This is the part where you explain why you're taking our birds to a licensed vet when you are in fact a licensed vet."

"I am a magician before-"

"Before anything else, yes. I am well aware." Hakuba nudged him with a foot. He coughed and pitched his voice into a whining tone he'd thought matched Kaito's. It didn't but Hakuba obviously didn't care. "But veterinarians can't show the tenderness and understanding that my precious babies require and deserve for being such stars."

"Asshole," Kaito repeated. Hakuba was too prissy to join him in the dirt. He only had to wait him out.

"It's all coming out of your share, you understand. Watson, Hudson, and Lupin aren't responsible for that financial black hole."

"Now you're just exaggerating." Kaito rolled onto his back, spreading his arms out and staring at the sky. Watson was on Hakuba's shoulder, jessed and hooded, and very much the reason why none of Kaito's doves had joined him back on the ground. "It's a financial gopher hole if anything."

"Still only your problem. Though an explanation I don't have to extort out of you would be appreciated."

"So you know how you had Watson and Lupin stealing Aoko's hairpins and then later returning them under the premise you'd found them in various locations?"

"This is Koizumi and the snake farm all over again, isn't it?"

"So I might have found my soul mate, but no, really, go on." Kaito pushed himself upright, ignoring Hakuba's unimpressed everything.

"I thought you were your own soul mate. Didn't you send yourself chocolates proclaiming that fact just months ago?"

"That's before I knew he existed! He's perfect. I must have him."

"This is Koizumi and the snake farm." Hakuba grabbed his arm, grip too tight for him to wiggle out of, and Watson walked across his shoulder to rest on Kaito's, like a feathery sentinel. "I'd like to say this right at the beginning. It is abduction or kidnapping to keep a person in your home, especially if they are unable to consent to being there."

"I'm not going to kidnap him," Kaito said, freezing as Watson tightened his grip when Kaito tried to move. "I'm going to make him love me."

"I am not paying bail."

-X-

"She's precious," Azusa said, scratching lightly at Barada. The magpie squirmed under her touch, fluffing herself and puffing her chest. "Where did you get her?"

"I know a breeder. Her mommy was a rescue magpie from Australia and her daddy was a dove. She's not fertile, but she's smart, takes initiative, and, most importantly, she's fearless."

"Why is that important?"

"She's my star for the really scary tricks," Kaito said, "I've got a pair of ravens she works with, and they do my fire and fear tricks."

"Fire tricks?" Azusa repeated nervously, holding a hand over Barada in a protective manner. Kaito smiled at her.

"I've got hoops and stuff that they fly through and carry. More dangerous than the usual tricks, but not threatening. She's really good at them. Excels."

"Did she get hurt? Is that why you brought her in?"

"No. Just part of the check ups."

"To see Kudou-san." Azusa made a face at Barada, scrunching her nose and narrowing her eyes. Barada hopped towards her, fluffing out her wings and chattering. "Isn't that right?"

"He's perfect." Kaito sighed and slumped down over the reception desk. "It's awful."

"You'd probably have better luck if you actually asked him on a date instead of harassed him in his office."

"Doubtful." Kudou didn't seem amiable to any interaction with Kaito, least of all a date.

"You didn't make a good first impression."

"No, I did not."

"And you're kind of reinforcing that impression," Azusa said.

Kaito peeked over at her, but she was still making faces at Barada, not watching him.

"You're making up excuses to see him, wasting time in his office to check perfectly cared for birds and snakes, and ogling him at every opportunity."

Kaito slid off the counter.

"What?" he demanded.

"Did you think you were being subtle?"

"Oh god. He knows."

"Yeah," Azusa agreed, looking at him finally. "Didn't you know that?"

-X-

"Saguru says you're embarrassed."

"Go away, Aoko."

"I never thought I'd actually get to see you embarrassed over something you've done. When did you start feeling self-conscious about your actions?"

"When I met my soul mate, humiliated myself in front of him in our first meeting, stalked him to his workplace, and then racked up an enormous bill as an excuse to see him again." Kaito paused. "While all the while, he's fully aware of my interest and completely uninterested."

"Oh." Aoko slid an arm over his shoulders and curled close to him, resting her head on top of his. "I didn't realize you were serious about the soul mate thing."

"He is perfect. He kept his head in a stressful situation. He got everyone calm. He made someone with a broken arm laugh and smile waiting for an ambulance to arrive. He's so perfect, Aoko."

She hugged him tighter and started running her fingers through his hair. Kaito closed his eyes and huddled into her, wiggling until he was comfortable and could nurse his broken heart in peace. He refused to move when she twitched and Hakuba settled on his other side.

"Rejected?" he asked, but his arm was draping over Kaito's back, too. He was squeezed between them, and while not his favorite place, it was the best place to be when he was feeling down. Hakuba lost his rough edges and could cuddle with the best of them whenever it was necessary. Normally, this was Aoko-exclusive behavior, but Kaito liked to think that he would always be Hakuba's exception.

"Not exactly," Aoko answered. "He never confessed, but they know he's interested and they are not."

"I'm sorry," Hakuba said, lowering his arm to Kaito's waist.

"We're staying in tonight. Are you coming home with us later, Kaito? Or are you staying here?"

"If I go home with you, does that mean I'll get the bed or the couch?"

He could tell they were exchanging looks over his head, but he didn't care to look up and interpret. Eventually, Hakuba sighed and hooked his fingers into Kaito's belt loops to pull him up off the couch. Aoko buoyed up his other side, their arms crossing behind his back and sides pressing into him.

"Do not snore or drool on either of us and you can stay in the bed," Hakuba said. "Only this once."

"You are sightly less of an asshole."

"Stop. You flatter me."

"Be nice, Kaito."

-X-

"Thank you! Have a wonderful evening!" Kaito swept his hat off as he bowed, Mecca, Lecca, Sala, and Bim popping from under the brim and circling around the stage. They fluttered over the crowd, dropping autographs in little rolled up tubes, and came back to rest on his extended arm.

The curtain closed and Kaito headed for the wings, grinning widely as his doves danced around his arm and shoulder. They tugged at his hair and ruffled at his collar for their promised treats.

"Easy, girls, easy. You've got to let me get back to the room," he said, gathering up his cape with his free arm. Lecca bumped his monocle with her wing, too excited to be still. He caught it before it fell. "Calm down, sweet."

He opened the door to his dressing room and stopped, but his doves took off immediately, bee-lining to the man sitting in his chair and holding a palm full of seed cake.

"That was an excellent show," Kudou said, sitting patiently under the doves as they feasted.

"How did you get back here?" Kaito asked, closing the door and leaning on it. His knees felt unsteady.

"Your assistant let me in." Kudou stroked Sala's back and she abandoned the treats for more loving attention. Kudou obliged her with a smile, one he turned onto Kaito that brightened significantly.

"But you-"

"I haven't seen you in several weeks. But you're easy to find." His hand empty of treats, he moved his arm up to his shoulder and the doves settled placidly, some tugging at his hair and fluffing themselves. "You take really good care of your partners."

"Partners?" Kaito repeated, dropping his cape.

"I was in the audience. They're very well trained and obviously well cared for. I noticed when you brought all of them in that they have personalities and desires and vices. They look to you for their cues and respond to you in their own language. You probably have the brightest and best trained birds I've ever seen."

"Thank you," Kaito said, taking a deep breath and stepping away from the door. "Do you want to see everyone else?"

He offered his hand between them, smiling as Mecca and Lecca fluttered over, nuzzling his palm for treats and climbing up to his shoulder when none were found. Sala and Bim stayed on Knudou' shoulder, but they were watching him.

Kudou looked at each of them, then to Kaito.

"I'd like to see them since I haven't for so long." Kudou reached out and took his hand. Even through the suede glove, Kaito could swear that he could feel Kudou's pulse at his fingertips.