It's a comedy of horrors, when he gets down to the bare bones.
He absolutely cannot return to the office with the file missing. He wasn't supposed to take it in the first place, but he figured no one would notice if he returned it quickly. He just swept it under his arm with the satchel he'd brought with him, followed Ran and Mouri out of the office, and broke off to sit in the park across from the station and read the file he borrowed.
It was a thin file and missing people weren't exactly his area of expertise, but "Kaito"had jumped out at him. One of the pages in the file slid just outside of it and he'd caught sight of "Kaito K-" and he was pulling it slowly across the desk.
And he'd made it just a few steps into the park when a big furry blur tackled him, snatching the file from his fingers and darting off into the bushes.
He scrambles after it, crawling through underbrush to find a very large white squirrel holding the file in strangely adept hands. The squirrel shakes its head, blue eyes in its face, and Conan stops.
He's on hands and knees, hair still tangled in the bottom branches of a bush, and really not prepared for what's happening.
The squirrel chatters, and Conan's trying not to think that what he heard was a squirrel version of "Tantei-kun" because there's a black circle around its right eye, a marking on its chest that might be a tie-shape if you squinted, and what had better not be a smirk pulling at its mouth.
"No."
Conan starts to back out of the bush, but there's an indignant squeak and his lasses are stolen off his face next.
"Hey!"
The squirrel darts back a few paces and waves the glasses and the file. Papers scatter across the ground and when they both look down, the squirrel wriggles and drops the glasses. Its squeaking a mile a minutes as it grabs a piece of paper and begins to point with a little paw at the words on the page.
"You are not Kaitou Kid and I have officially gone crazy."
The squirrel nods, dancing in place, and then points at the name again.
"This is too weird. At least my shrinking can be explained!"
The squirrel gives him a look.
Conan sighs.
"I don't care if it's a dumb explanation, but it can be explained. This is-"
The squirrel mimes something, pretends to flip hair over its shoulder, laughs behind his hand like a Sailor Moon villain, strikes a dramatic pose, and then nods.
"Bullshit."
KID squeaks indignantly.
