Authors note: Hey guys sorry for the wait, had a few birthdays come up, including mine and I just haven't found the time to write because of it. Though finally here's the next chapter, I honestly struggled a bit with this one but I hope you like it either way.

Chapter 6 Untold past

Dear Dairy

They were auguring again, they always did but this time was different, she was moaning about him always being away on trips and never having time to spend with me, hypocrite. The old cow never spends more than a second acknowledging my existence unless it gave her an excuse to yell at Dad. Maybe I should talk with Anne about this or Marcy but, then they would see me differently wouldn't they? They'd think I'm weak, poor little Sasha can't handle her parents yelling at each other. How pathetic am I? No I need to be strong so I can protect them, I mean there the pathetic ones, with out me there nothing.


Dear Dairy

Dad's gone, he didn't have time to spend with me, that's fine, he gave me some money to make up for it so that okay. Still, I wish he didn't have to be away all the time, I mean is his job that important, and if it is, can't I come with him, at least once? Anyway, its Annes Birthday soon so I'll have to try and figure out what to get her but honestly, she'd probably just be happy with a home cooked meal or something like that. The dork. I still have those thoughts sometimes, its gotten a bit better since I talked to mum about it, she told me to push them all deep down inside myself. I did and now I don't feel anything.


Dear Dairy

Today I caught Marcy crying at the park I comforted her of course and cheered her up but for a split second I'm ashamed to say a part of me felt happy. God what is wrong with me, why am I even writing this down?

No. I need to vent and I can't. I won't talk to anyone about this, so I guess you're the only option I have left. First of, let me just say I don't like seeing my friends in pain, I love my friends, I really do. Its just seeing someone like Marcy who's all ways so full of life and happy, breakdown into tears was a breath of fresh air for me because it made me realise. If she can be upset then maybe its okay for me to feel this… This ANGRY!

Shit I broke the pen, guess I'm writing in blue now, anyway I always thought it was weird to feel this angry when I don't have a reason to. I mean mum can be a bit much sometimes but if I've gotten pretty good at avoiding her hands. Dad on the other hand is NEVER here, I mean its been months since his last visit, but at least he still remembers to send me money, so I know he cares he's just… Busy, really busy. So when I think about all that anger, these confusing feelings, maybe there isn't anything wrong with me after all. Maybe the one who's really at fault here is them.


Dear Dairy

I confronted them, that's right them, I was so happy to see Dad again after all these months but instead of welcoming him home with open arms like I normally do, I snapped. They informed me that he'd scored a well paying job in Japan, other side of the world and that the company was happy to cover moving expense. He had come here hoping to take us with him, of course she was more than happy to jump back into his arms. I guess the sound of money was enough to forgive his unfaithfulness, fucking gold digger.

I on the other hand was far from happy, how can they expect me to just pack everything up and go especially with the way they've treated me. Maybe some of my words were unnecessarily harsh, but once I started I couldn't stop myself from screaming all sorts curses at them. After that I ran, I ran for what felt like hours and eventually wound up at the park me and the girls would hang around sometimes.

Ugh, fuck it all! I can't belive I have to spend the night sleeping outside in the park, I guess I could go to Annes or Marcys. No, I can't, they would take pity on me and the big brave heroic Sasha that they look up to will crumble away. They'd think I'm weak, they'd sympathize with me sure and even try to help me but there would be no way I could carry on acting so tough around them. The park isn't so bad right? I'll sleep the night here then apologize tomorrow, I'll even get down on my hands and knees if I have to. Anything to avoid the girls finding out about this.


Dear Dairy

At school today Marcy told me she wants to run away, she was private in the details, only that her family wanted to move away to another town. I don't know why but for some reason I opened up about my situation, leaving out the part where i ran from home and spent the night sleeping outside. I could tell being in the same boat made her feel a little better but that was then she purposed a shocking idea. "Why don't we runaway together?" I laughed it of thinking she was joking but one look at her face made me realize how serious she really was. Runaway, can it really be this simple, I mean I know that's what I did last night but eventually I would have to go back and apologize. But wait, Why should I ? I don't have any reason to go back really, what if I never returned would they even care? Would they bother to look for me?

She left the conversation at that as Anne came to join us and we both quickly put on a fake smile. Still, could we really do it, is it that simple, just runaway.


Dear Dairy

Today is Annes Birthday, Marcy and I have put of our plans for this very reason. We both agreed not to tell Anne and to enjoy one final day together. I wanted to bring Anne but Marcy is right, she would never leave her family and she would only try to stop us if she knew. It's sad and I don't want to leave her but I can't stand to be around THEM any longer. I feel like I'm about to break free of the shackles they had placed on me since birth, just one more day and we're be out of here for good

Today I should just focus on making this the best birthday ever, since its going to be the last one Anne, Marcy and I get to celebrate together.


Authors Note: So this one was probably kind of boring and short but I felt I needed to add some kind of background to the character, next chapter will be posted soon, hopefully next week.