A/N: Y'all aren't gonna like the end of this chapter, and I don't blame you. But don't hate me—it has a point, I swear. I love fluff, so you just have to trust me when I say it'll get there (it will, I promise).


As Kyo walks back to the train station about an hour later, he stares down at his cell phone screen. He isn't browsing social media, or checking the train schedule, just looking almost obsessively at the new contact that had just been entered into his phone—"Tohru." When they had gone back inside, cheeks flushed—though he wasn't quite sure if it was from heightened emotions or just the cold up on the roof—Tohru had gotten her phone out of her bag and presented it to Kyo, asking for his in exchange. He had just about had a heart attack, but produced his phone with shaking hands, unlocking it and giving it to Tohru. He'd honestly had no idea what was going on, but when he took Tohru's phone and saw it already open to the "create a new contact" screen, he gulped and took a moment to gather courage before entering his name and number.

Now, he is overthinking everything. He hadn't looked at the contact Tohru made on his phone until he left Shigure's house, and is just now noticing that she had only entered her first name. He had awkwardly typed "Kyo Sohma," as if she might forget who just "Kyo" is. Not only that, but it sure is dark and cold out now...he should have offered to walk her to the station. You're such a dick, Kyo thinks to himself, clenching his jaw. He's been back in her life for only one night and he's already fucking it up again.

Once he gets home, the overthinking still hasn't ceased. He needs to be up early tomorrow to get to the dojo on time; there is a before-school class for some kids that he has to teach. But he still can't stop staring at his phone, at what Tohru had typed, mind spinning. Should he text her? Is it too soon? What's the appropriate amount of time to wait?

No, his conscience nags at him. You shouldn't ever text her.

He doesn't deserve to.

Kyo shakes his head and turns his light out, curling up under his blanket. He'll probably never see her again. And maybe that's for the best.


The week passes slowly, as if someone has dunked the whole world in molasses. He doesn't go over to Shigure's that Tuesday—since he's decided not to text Tohru, he doesn't see the point in showing up there and maybe accidentally running into her. If Shigure's is a safe place for her, then she deserves that. She can have it. He doesn't want the Sohmas, anyway. No part of them, not even the name he's stuck with.

On Wednesday, though, Haru calls Kyo to his and Rin's apartment, for an "important update on Tohru."

Despite himself, Kyo's really a simple man. Put the words "Tohru" and "important" together, and he'll probably show up.

Haru and Rin live on the second floor of this old apartment building in a slightly sketchy ward of Tokyo. As Kyo wanders down the alley leading to the building, he briefly wonders if it's safe for a tiny girl like Rin to live here. Then he remembers it's Rin.

"Nice place," Kyo lies when Haru opens the door.

"Want a beer?" Haru asks by way of greeting. Before Kyo can really even answer, he's sitting on the top step of the staircase outside the front door, and Haru is approaching with two cans of beer. Haru sits, sets down one beer, and shoves it toward Kyo. Kyo eyes it warily. He's not really one for alcohol, and coming from Haru at a time like this, it almost seems like it's meant as an offering to numb impending pain.

So Kyo cracks the can open, but then pauses.

"Wait, you're only 19."

Haru shrugs. "Did you forget who I share this apartment with?"

"Mm. So, anyway…"

"Anyway." Haru pauses to sip his own drink, leaving Kyo staring at him in nervous anticipation—finally, he just gulps down some beer to steady his nerves. "She didn't come."

"That's it?"

"You sound surprisingly okay with this."

Kyo shrugs and looks away, distracting himself by swirling the can in his hand and listening to the liquid inside slosh around. "I can't force her to go to Shigure's, or to want to talk to me. It's not like she owes me anything. I'm more pissed that you made me come all the way out here just to tell me that."

"Hm…" Haru murmurs. "That's true. You were a real dick to her."

"Thanks for the reminder. Aren't you supposed to be my wingman?"

"I am your wingman. She doesn't owe you anything, sure, but what if she wants to, by her own free will?"

"Wants to what, owe me something?" Haru makes no sense. He never has. Sometimes Kyo wonders why he still bothers talking to him at all, and this is most definitely one of those times. But then he remembers that he does owe Haru something. Haru's the one who's been helping him keep tabs on Tohru, after all, when the rest of the family completely shunned him.

"Wants to talk to you, I meant. You're a real airhead sometimes."

"But that's not what you said," Kyo grumbles.

"She wouldn't have asked for your number if she didn't want to talk to you, right? Honda's polite, but she's not spineless. She could have just told you to go fuck yourself, but she didn't."

Kyo sighs and shakes his head. "Yeah, maybe…but then, why hasn't she texted me?"

"Because it's your turn."

"Huh?"

"She asked for your number, so now it's your turn to do something. Man up and text her. Are you gonna drink that?" He gestures to Kyo's beer. Kyo hands it over.

"How do you know so much about girls?"

"I don't. I just have an insider I can turn to for help."

"What is this, some kinda weird secret mission?"

"Hey, I'm sticking my neck out for you here. You're lucky she and Rin are still close. And Rin would kill me if she knew I've been telling you how Honda's doing behind her back. You can at least pretend to be grateful."

Kyo balls his hands up into fists on his lap, swallows his pride, and says, "I am. I really am grateful. Sorry. I'm an asshole sometimes."

Haru shrugs. "I know. Now go home, before Rin gets back and asks what you're doing here."

"I'm your cousin. You can't just say I'm hanging out?"

"Nope. Because then you'll sit here talking to me instead of texting Honda."

Kyo tsks and stands up, brushing off the back of his jeans with his palms. He starts down the stairs, but pauses about halfway down. "Haru?"

"Yeah?"

"Well...you know...thanks."

Kyo's not looking back, but he can hear the smile in Haru's voice. "Yeah, yeah. Get going."


It turns out that saying he's going to text Tohru and actually texting Tohru are two very different things. Kyo stands on his balcony, hoping the fresh air will calm his mind (spoiler: it doesn't). He doesn't think he's ever seen his hands shake this much before—he's afraid he might drop his phone.

What should he say?

What can he say?

He doesn't have the right to say anything at all.

It's unfair of him, really—to just try and jump back into her life completely unannounced after what he did. He'd made her so sad. Depressed is probably a more fitting word, in fact. He's been told about what those days in the hospital were like for her: full of tears, a pain so intense she couldn't even say his name, thoughts that he hated her. And he didn't try to do anything to remedy that. Even now, connecting with her again wasn't his own doing. He'd been practically forced into it by Haru.

It's not fair.

Nothing's ever been fair for Tohru. Her whole life has been one major letdown after another. And even after all this time, knowing he'd added to the mix hurts.

Just as he's about to give up and go back inside to start dinner, his phone buzzes. He glances down at the lit-up screen, eyes widening when he sees who the message is from.

Tohru. She texted him first.

Haru's definitely right about one thing—no one can say that Tohru Honda is spineless.

"It's supposed to rain later. Are you feeling okay?"

Kyo smiles a little and looks up to the sky. It's indeed overcast. She still thinks about him when it rains? After all this time?

He knows he shouldn't respond, but he does anyway.

"I'm okay. Little sore, but nothing too bad."

"Glad to hear it! Make sure to stay home and drink soup tonight."

He chuckles and shakes his head.

It almost feels like they never lost touch. She's worrying about him, just like she used to. She's trying to take care of him, even though she's not physically here. It makes him feel a little reckless.

"What're you up to tonight?"

The response doesn't come for a few minutes.

"Oh, well...I have a date tonight, actually."

There it is. This isn't like old times.

He's so stupid to think that all the hurt between them could just magically heal after one, 10 minute-long conversation at Shigure's a week ago. He bites his tongue, hard, and forces his thumbs to tap out the most painful message he's ever sent:

"Cool. Have fun on your date."

Then he powers his phone down and chucks it onto the couch as he goes inside.

Pathetic. Stupid.

Selfish.


Tohru doesn't know why she told Kyo she has a date tonight. She doesn't even really know why she's going on this date in the first place. It's with some guy Uo met at work. She trusts Uo's judgment, so she'd agreed to a blind date with him. But now, as she waits at the station where they're supposed to meet up, her nerves all burn and her chest stings. This is wrong. Hollow, not right, even though it hasn't even started yet.

"Tohru?"

She turns and comes face-to-face with a tall, dark-haired man. He's handsome, and for a minute the butterflies in her stomach make her forget everything—forget the way she didn't want to be here 30 seconds ago, the nagging feeling that she'd upset Kyo, and mostly the fact that she sort-of-kind-of wishes this man was Kyo.

"Y-yes. Asahi?"

"That's me." He smiles, and the butterflies intensify, even though Kyo's name swirls around in her mind. "Should we get going? I made dinner reservations for us."

"Ah, that's so kind of you. Thank you!"

Asahi laughs a little and shakes his head. "It's my pleasure." He holds out his hand, and Tohru takes it, and it feels kind of good, even though it also burns and aches and threatens to tear her apart at the seams.

The night went well. Like, really well. Asahi is easy to talk to, and whenever he touches her arm or reaches for her hand, it almost feels right. When he takes her back to her apartment and kisses her goodnight, it almost feels good. It sort of feels okay when he deepens the kiss and she lets him, her back getting pressed up against her front door. It's alright when his lips move down to her neck. But then she hears a soft moan escape her throat, and the sound brings reality flooding back.

As good as it might feel to have someone kind and handsome and attentive pressed up against her when she hasn't been touched or kissed in so long, it's all wrong.

Because he's not…

He's just not...

"I-I should probably get to bed. I have work early tomorrow."

He doesn't respond, and for a minute Tohru worries that he isn't going to listen to her. But then he just kisses the side of her throat once more and steps back. He looks at her, and his pupils are blown wide, lips red and kiss-swollen. He's so thoroughly undone, and the knowledge that she did that makes it all feel even worse for Tohru.

"Can...can I call you tomorrow?" Asahi asks.

And even though she wants to say no, she murmurs softly, "I'd like that."

Then he's gone and she's inside, putting on pajamas and crawling into bed. She buries her face in her pillow. She promised herself she would never cry over Kyo again. But maybe just five minutes is okay, right? She lets a choked sob escape her throat.

"I should just forget about it and move on."

That's what she'd said to Kyo, and she'd meant it. She really had.

But she's still caught up in the past, still harboring feelings for someone she'll never have.

It didn't even hurt like this when she caught her fiance in bed with someone else. This is different. It goes down to her core.

She's so pathetic.


A/N: I hope I didn't lose you. Just truuuust me.