First mate's log:

April 12, 1972

Well, it turns out the Bradys don't need me, at least not as a replacement for Alice. Mrs. Brady appreciated the offer, but it turns out she'd already agreed to let Alice's cousin run things for a week. I'm disappointed, but I understand that they couldn't just tell her to forget about it, especially since it would be short notice to change her plans.

The Brady kids don't know about my offer, and they still come and confide in me, not just their problems but some of their successes, too. Peter told me yesterday that name-dropping his classmates has really paid off. I saw him when he came into the pizza parlor, where a girl named Iris treated him.

I whispered, "Is this a date?"

"I don't think so," he whispered back, "but she is pretty cute with those braids. She made it on the pompom squad when Jan didn't and now, thanks to my article about the squad, she was chosen as yell leader."

"Oh, well, that's nice."

"Yeah, and other kids gave me candy bars and a party invitation. And I'm not the fourth or fifth guy to be asked either."

I'm worried this may backfire on him. Like what if someone doesn't like what he writes about them? But I didn't want to spoil his date, or whatever it was.


Carol Brady's diary:

April 14, 1972

Well, Alice is gone and Emma is here. We offered to go to the airport in Blenford today, but both women wanted to take the ferry. In Alice's case, she was afraid she'd start getting "all mushy" about having to say goodbye more than once. In Emma's case, I think she just likes to be independent and self-reliant. Mike and I did go down to the lagoon though, to put Alice on the ferry. Emma was just arriving, so the cousins got to say a brief hello.

They look remarkably alike, although Emma's hair is grayer and her posture more rigid. They're about the same age and weight and height. Their voices are similar but Emma's is more, I don't know, military. She definitely doesn't joke around like Alice.

I hugged Alice goodbye but I didn't feel comfortable doing more than shaking Emma's hand. Mike told me later he considered saluting. He did offer to take her suitcase, as he'd carried Alice's, but Emma politely refused him.

We escorted her back to the house, where she immediately scolded Bobby and Cindy for running into the house without closing the door. If it were Alice, she'd have made a joke about it, and maybe done that whistling thing she does. But Emma yelled, "Halt!" and made them act like little soldiers. The kids went along with it, although they were obviously surprised. So were Mike and I but we didn't interfere. We'll see how things go and, yes, it is only for a week.


April 16, 1972

I met Alice's cousin, Sgt. Emma Nelson, a couple days ago. She took the ferry over, right before Alice left for Blenford, and I would've known who Emma was anyway, because she looks a lot like Alice. I mean, even more than cousins usually do. But considering me, Mr. Howell, and Ginger all have lookalikes weren't not even related to, I wasn't as surprised as I might've been years ago.

She definitely has a different personality than Alice, all serious where Alice jokes around. I wondered how the Brady kids would adjust to the difference. Well, I could tell Jan (who of course sort of has a lookalike great-aunt) didn't want to say anything bad about her, because of Alice, but she reluctantly confessed what it's like with Emma running the household. And it is Emma running the household, not just doing housework. Jan said that her parents are humoring Emma because they don't want to offend her.

At six every morning, Emma wakes up the family with a whistle. She leads them outside for calisthenics. Then she does inspection in the bedrooms. And then she takes everyone jogging through the neighborhood. When they finally get home, they have to line up for chow, and for dinner at least there's K.P. duty, which Jan had last night.

Jan ended with "...I'm a twelve-year-old girl. How did I get drafted?"

I resisted telling her about my offer to her mother. Maybe I'm not great at cooking or housework, but at least I usually don't try to boss people around. And I understand kids a lot better than it sounds like Emma does. But I just reminded Jan it's only for a week. I mean, if Emma were replacing Alice for good, I'd feel different about it.


April 18, 1972

Emma is driving us all crazy! I had more doubts from the beginning than Mike did. When it was just the kids doing morning calisthenics, he thought that exercise would be good for them. But then he didn't worry when Bobby was trying to stretch himself or break a teeter-totter record with Cindy. When Alice had us join the kids, including morning runs, Mike was not as enthusiastic.

He and I did offer her a three-day pass, since we figured that would cover half of her stay, but she refused. She said she never did R & R in the Army and she likes hard work. I suppose we could just "fire" her, but that seems cruel, especially since we're in the middle of the ocean, and she can't easily walk away. We'll all just have to put up with this, especially since she means well, as long as she's both our guest and our employee.