Chapter 1: Introduction
Why, oh why did I ever agree with Felix to do this? the dog thought in annoyance to himself, his mind beyond sour already. This has got to be the stupidest thing I've ever thought of doing...other than that time I thought I could fit through that little hole in the fence...
Shaking his large head as his ears flopped against his face slightly, he paused in reflecting and looked around him.
Nope, even this idea tops that on the stupidity level.
The large dog couldn't help already feel the overwhelming sense of discomfort and bitterness at his current situation...
And the 'meeting' of sorts had barely even started.
Maybe he was kicking himself was because he knew that -like practically everything else in his life- he'd soon be regretting and trying to undo this decision. Or maybe it was because earlier he'd actually allowed himself to have a slight bit of hope, of expectancy, even- but now that, of course, had waned and his hope of something (anything) better had become a mere unsatisfied wish. Per the norm.
But, nonetheless, here the mastiff was, surrounded by fellow dogs who promised and vowed to 'understand' his plight and 'sympathize' his feelings.
Yeah, sure they will, he couldn't help but mockishly miff. What a joke of a club.
Sighing, the dog snorted belligerently. That hollow feeling of more and more anxiety filled him by the moment- and that even more familiar feeling of pain and disappointment was already threatening to bouce around violently in his heart again.
Despondently laying his massive head down, the pooch couldn't help but close his eyes and mentally zone out. The other dogs around him continued to introduce themselves one at a time and to begin their long, sad stories- boring him out of his mind.
"Sup. I'm Bowser..."
"Cyclops' my name..."
"Hello, my name is Zangief..."
"Urrgh! Me Zombie!.."
So on and so forth. Dog after dog told sob story after sob story. Some 'life-journeys' were ones he'd heard many times; others were completely new to his ears. But they all began to blur and mix and run together in his mind regardless, if he were to be completely honest.
Just as one dog had somewhat exclaimed how he had survived a few run-ins with many a car, the large, zoned out dog had completely check out in boredom. He suddenly mentally unclogged his ears, though- long enough to hear his name being repeatedly said, at least.
"Uh?" the mastiff asked numbly, raising his head a little in rapt attention to look at the group's leader in the eye.
"It's your turn now, Ralph," a little Boston terrier of a leader repeated kindly. He nodded at the detached bull mastiff before him, inviting him to finally take an active part in their meeting.
"Oh, right... Uh, ok, Clyde," the mastiff mumbled slightly in response as he eyed the rest of the fellow Bad-Anon members cautiously. He slowly sat back up on his hindquarters...
And subconsciously realized that he was still taller sitting down than most of these dogs were when they stood on all four.
His large, broad shoulders stood above head level of even the biggest of pooches there at the meeting, and he had to look down at everyone else's faces as they expectingly looked back up at him. It was clear that Ralph indeed was the biggest dog in the meeting.
And that was just taking his height in consideration. Ralph could bet on a dime he weighed twice if not three times heavier than all these other dogs, too- even if some of the smaller ones were combined in weight...
Although, it wasn't all fat, the mastiff would argue; it was mostly his strong, sturdy muscles surrounding his big, bulky bones that made up most of his whopping 243 pounds...
Shaking his head again to clear it of the contrasting thoughts screaming at him, the mutt hesitated before speaking, not being quite so sure just how'd these other dogs react to him entering the group.
Sure, he knew most of the members already...and yeah, all of these dogs were all called 'bad' themselves. But none of them -not a single one- even came close to Ralph's size or gruff or demeanor...
"Care to introduce yourself?" Clyde inquired once more, shaking Ralph once more from his rambling, precarious thoughts- before they ran wild again.
"Oh, right...," the fellow animal blushed out quickly, clearing his throat and mind nervously as his cheeks glowed bright red. "Uh, sorry about that, Clyde."
The Boston terrier just smiled kindly towards him, easing Ralph's worried mindset a tad bit.
"It's quite alright, Ralph," Clyde appeased. "Just stand up tall, state your name, your breed, and just why you are here with us tonight," the tiny dog then clearly instructed.
Quickly nodding, Ralph felt his blush intensify as his ears flatten upon his head.
Okay...well then, this is it, I guess, he gulped down halfheartedly, his heart sinking like a stone deep in his broad chest. Might as well get it over with.
Still beyond a little nervous to comply with the Boston's wishes, the mastiff forced himself awkwardly stood up in all four paws- not failing to tower over all the others' heads with his massive size as he always did.
But none of the other dogs even seemed to notice this time...
Because they were all too focused on trying to avoid staring at or even giving attention to the elephant in the room. The largest, more obviously frightening elephant in the room.
That of Ralph's freakishly large paws.
Each of his paws were indeed massive. Huge. Supersized. Abnormal. Whatever anyone wanted to call his paws, it was more than likely indeed true. Each foot was like a fawn-colored basketball at the end of his thick legs- and that somehow stood out from every other feature of the already huge dog.
In fact, the late stragglers in the meeting -ones who had no clue who he was, especially- eyed him with wide eyes as he now stood up. They each forced back their stunned gulps, silent gasps, and poorly hidden slack-jaws- and even the ones who knew Ralph well had to hold back the urge to give an impressive whistle at the sheer size of his huge, scarry big paws.
Not that Ralph would've called any of them out for it, though.
After all these years, he had barely even acknowledged such horror glances his way anymore- or so he wished. And he had successfully grown quite immune to the painful looks of fear he received on a daily bases- or so he hoped.
Others could stare, gawk, whisper all day long; it was just everyday life to him at this point. Besides, such looks and talk didn't and wouldn't ever change anything, anyway.
The stunned gulps couldn't change the fact that the bull mastiff was the most massive, most intimidating, and most terrifying canine in town. The silent gasps couldn't change that his paws were far more ginormous than any other dog's paws.
The slack-jaws wouldn't change his closed-off, angry demeanor his sharp, pointed glares, either- which only proved to make his reputation that much worse. The whistles couldn't change that he avoided other animal or human contact the most he could- because, admittedly, those looks of fear and distrust still pained him every time.
Nothing anyone did or said could ever change the fact Ralph was just a hated, feared, judged, rejected bad dog- all based solely on his appearance, afterall...
Causing him so much more pain than others would ever know...
Forcing himself to get out of his negative thinking and to focus on what he was doing at the moment in the meeting, the mastiff gulped again.
As stupid as I think all this is, he sighed out, ignoring his pounding chest as he grumbled. I'm officially part of it all- no chance of backing out now.
Thanks alot for the idea, Felix...
"Uh, hey-oh, everybody. My name's Ralph...," he finally called out to the group of fellow dogs in a weak and surprisingly shy way, his head low in self-consciousness.
After a few fellow pooches mumbled out a polite hello and/or stifled welcoming, the oversized mastiff stared down at his enormous paws and shuffled them softly- beyond uneasy and unsure as the other animals continued to stare at him...or at his paws in particular.
After exhaling a shaky breath he wasn't even aware he had been holding in the whole meeting, though, Ralph finally gulped. Bit his lip. Regretted what he was about to do. Allowed every hope or wish or expectation he had to die right then and there. Closed his eyes...
And finally had to courage to acknowledge the dreaded yet accepted truth about himself.
"I'm, um, a bull mastiff...and, well...I'm a bad dog."
