Chapter 17: Lost and Found
Stumbling into the back of the building where Tapper's bar was, Ralph eyed the sign the bulldog had made. The words 'Lost and Found' on it faded were slightly- and were bearly even legible anymore.
The mastiff sighed tiredly as he looked across at the place bearing the lost and found name: a small lot of dirt and patches of grass, all semi-fenced in by two adjacent bobwire fences. One tall, solo streetlight provided some light over the mostly dark lot, causing Ralph to notice one steady wall that connected to the building on the other side of the small stretch of land.
There were many small dirt mounds in the dirt field- all clearly containing something hidden underneath. Eyeing them curiously, Ralph knew that Tapper and his 'employees' would come back here and bury anything and everything found at the busy bar after closing time...and somehow knowing that already made the mastiff exhausted.
Reluctantly choosing one hill that looked somewhat promising, Ralph moseyed over to it and sniffed the dirt mound gingerly. Shrugging for a moment, he decided this one as good as any hill to start with.
Well, for once I'm glad my paws are so stupid big, the mastiff had the offhand thought as he began to dig, kicking dirt fast behind him. The bigger the paws, the faster I can dig...
In a matter of seconds, in fact, Ralph had already reached whatever it was that had been buried under the surface of the mound. Briefly examining the object found, he saw that it was a dirty, odd-shaped...thing.
Definitely not a collar in any way.
"Okay," he sighed discouragedly as he clutched the item within his mouth and gently pulled it up from the clinging dirt. "Let's see what we got here."
Gingerly shaking off the rest of the dirt and setting it down softly, Ralph began sniffing... well, whatever it was. He quickly got a strong whiff that the disregarded item had clearly belonged to Bowser at one point, probably left behind by the rottweiler and buried here later on the same night.
Flipping the item over a few times and looking at it from different angles, Ralph quickly saw that the odd item was Bowser's old squeak toy. He recalled that the tough rottweiler had complained about losing a cherish mushroom-shaped toy back at the Bad Dog meeting- earning some lighthearted snickers and smirks from most of the others at the meeting.
Gently shuffling the toy over to the side, Ralph made a mental note to tell Bowser about finding it after the whole deal ended.
If it ever does end, the mastiff thought with an uneasy, miserable gulp. He had only made that deal with Gene a little over an hour ago and he already felt slightly defeated...and even regretted it ever so slightly.
No, I can't regret anything now, Ralph quickly reprimanded himself, puffing out his chest a little. Think positively here, Ralph! You will get that good dog collar, whether it'd be here at Tapper's or somewhere else.
Filled with renewed zeal, he quickly abandoned the mushroom toy and selected another hill to dig through... in which he only found another dog toy.
Abandoning both it and it's hill as well, he went after another mound...and then another...and another...
After digging through what seemed like two or three dozen hills one right after the other, Ralph found that his search had come with nothing of real value. Under the single streetlight shining down high above, he saw that all he had was a big pile containing a bunch random things -like a few chewed up dog brushes, two very old leashes, tons of various speak toys (the oddest one shaped little a cutesy scorpion), and one fluffy but now dirty sweater that Ralph assumed belonged to Zangief.
But not a single collar. Not even a bad dog collar.
Panting slightly from his pointless and taxing hunt, Ralph began to feel like giving up- and like he had wasted valuable time.
"What am I going to do?" the mastiff miserably growled at himself as he flopped down in defeat.
After a moment of seeking to think of any other possible ideas -all which passed in vain- Ralph finally stood up and began walking back towards the bar. His massive head hung embarrassingly low, the mastiff stared at the uneven ground before him and started to try to think of a plausible plan B.
As he about to detachedly pass the lost and found sign once again, Ralph felt another large dog brush roughly by him as he walked passed- so roughly that he nearly causing the strong, steady mastiff to stumble and fall. Annoyed, Ralph turned to glare at the rude mutt.
"Hey, excuse you!" he hissed disgustedly at him...
Only to find the fellow large dog seemingly hadn't even heard him. Or noticed him.
The animal just kept lumbering forward, blocking out everything around him.
As his ears twitched slightly in curious confusion, Ralph's ears suddenly picked up what the dog was incoherently mumbling.
"Destroy all mutations, we're Arcadia's last hope...destroy all mutations, we're Arcadia's last hope..." the mutt slurred on and on, over and over again as he walked and tripped forward. It was as if he was partially out of his mind, zombified by some strange force...
The irritated mastiff was about to shrug the dog off as another slight drunk attempting to venture out from Tappers...
But then Ralph watched as the other animal stumbled several times, tripping over the holes the mastiff had left in the yard. Yet, the dog would repeatedly catch himself each time- and droned forward in a straight line.
A drunk mutt can't walk in that straight of a line, Ralph quickly realized, his fur-raising a little bit on the back of his neck. He cautiously took a whiff of the pawprints beside him left by the dog. He doesn't smell like any liquid, either.
Something else was wrong...
Peering forward under the view of the streetlight, the mastiff only then saw that this strange dog wasn't just any another bum off the street, either. He had on some sort of special vest...but was now too far away for Ralph to be able to read it clearly.
His curiosity beyond peeked, Ralph cautiously and slowly followed the other dog, making sure that he kept a safe distance from him in case this deranged dog decided to snap.
The two made their strange way across the dirt pit- and it was only Ralph that seemed to realize that they were running out of available space as they trekked towards the building next to the lot.
Uh...doesn't he see the wall ahead of him? the mastiff wondered- but the vested dog ahead of him didn't seem to notice that the bricked wall before him was quickly approaching...
Until he literally ran smack into said wall, slightly causing him to go bouncing backward at the force- and causing Ralph to jump back in alarm.
Ooh- that had to hurt, the mastiff winced semi-sympathetically...but that feeling quickly faded when he saw that such a ramming didn't even seem to faze the other dog whatsoever.
In fact, the fellow pooch even tried to keep walking, completely ignoring the fact that the wall was there- and that he was repeatedly running into it. It was like his paws were on automatic marching mode, his mind clouded up so badly he couldn't even feel the pain of running into the wall... all while he continued to chant the same strange phrase.
"Destroy all mutations, we're Arcadia's last hope...destroy all mutations, we're Arcadia's last hope..."
What is with this guy? the mastiff questioned, backing up a bit as the unaffected mutt proceeded to hit the wall again- before realizing that he was now close enough to now clearly read the dog's vest.
The zombie dog -a german shepherd, Ralph now observed- must have be in the armed forces somehow. The vest he wore read 'K-9 Special Unit', the wording bright and now more legible in its yellow coloring in contrasted with the dark blue vest.
His eyes widening in intimidation with that realization, Ralph backed up that much more. He knew the dogs that worked for the Arcadia's police station could be less than strict and intense with all the training they receive...
And adding in that this particular pooch before him was obviously a little on the crazy side didn't help the situation.
The mastiff was about to make a break for it, run back into Tapper and high tail it out of the scene- but suddenly decided against it.
This mutt is wacked out...but I can't just let him continue to run into the wall! he thought dividedly, longingly looking over his shoulder as he silently begged another sane animal to come up behind them to help.
Glancing back at the deranged german shepherd before him, Ralph's inner self would not allow him to ditch the crazy pooch. Begrudgingly rolling his eyes, the mastiff ventured forward. Slowly and very, very cautiously.
"Uh, h-hey there buddy," Ralph called out softly as he inched towards the other dog- not wanting to scare the haywire police dog.
When the K-9 pooch gave him no response but more ramming into the wall and mumbling about mutations, Ralph finally approached him closer. Clearing his throat, the mastiff finally nudged the dog gently on one of his hindquarters, Ralph's large paw somehow dwarfing the others' hip bone.
"You okay there-"
All at being touched, the K-9 mutt was knocked out of his zombie-like trance and flipped around haphazardly to face Ralph- startling the mastiff completely and causing him to jump back.
"I've only been there a week!" the dog cried out, his voice loud and shrill as unsolicited drool leaked from his mouth. "And every day, it's come to work and fight scorpions! Come to work, fight more scorpions!"
At his strange sob story, the once stoic pooch practically began melting in front of Ralph's tall legs, weeping as he did.
Gulping nervously, Ralph backed up even more, clearly freaked out by the other animal's strange behavior. But upon recognizing the sobbing dog wasn't going to viciously jump on him or attack him or anything, the mastiff felt his tense muscles relax a little.
Clearly this dog is a little stressed out or had a long day back at the office, Ralph figured, suddenly feeling a twinge of pity. He came a little closer to the other dog- yet still kept a safe distance.
"Yeah, sure, whatever you say, buddy," the mastiff finally answered, taking what the distressful dog's crazy words with a grain of salt. "But trust me, it's tough all over, ok?"
But his words seemed to barely affect the other dog, who was now shaking and hyperventilating heavy. The dog's eyes started to dart around frantically as well, seeming to be deathly afraid that something or someone would attack them if they weren't vigilant enough...
Deciding there was nothing he could do to comfort the now paranoid dog, the mastiff timidly turned to leave him be.
He's got some serious issues- and has to talk himself out of them, Ralph figured as the dog heaved behind him. The mastiff felt slightly bad leaving him- but figured there was nothing else that he could do for the dog.
Plus, he contemplated with sudden urgency, it not like I have all the time in the world to deal with some crazy cop dog with a supposed scorpion problem, either. So..I'm just going to go now...
As the mastiff slowly ventured back towards to bar, the other dog didn't even seem to notice Ralph was leaving him behind. He was freaking out too much at this point.
The crazy canine did continue to verbally express his plight, however- despite not earning any empathy from a now apathetic Ralph this time.
"And what's it all for?" the vested german shepherd whined miserably to no one in particular as he stood up a little stronger. "Just to earn some...some lousy good dog collar?!"
