Chapter 18: Collar of Good Dogs

At the dog's agonizing words behind him, Ralph's ear twitched sharply. His body froze in place so fast he was nearly catapulted forward, his eyes doubling in size.

What had that crazy K-9 dog just said?

"A- a collar?!" the mastiff spat out as he suddenly turned around to face the canine cop. "You-you get a new collar?!"

"Yes," the German shepherd confirmed miserably, somehow shrinking up that much more as his large ears flattened. "A new collar for good dogs."

Unable to hold back from openly gawking, Ralph felt a slow, wide smile stretch across his face. For the first time in a long time, he felt his tail wag uncontrollably like a puppy for a moment.

This can't be true!! the mastiff mentally denied...yet he could literally feel his excitement growing. Finally I'm getting somewhere!

"Ooh!" he woofed out as he cautiously but anxiously approached the cop dog again. "And-and it's got tags? Like shiny tags?!"

At his questioning, the fellow dog shrugged emptily. "Pretty shiny...?"

"And the tags say 'good dog' on them?!" Ralph pushed on, his excitement growing stronger and stronger by the second.

At the mastiff's strange elation, the mutt before him eyed him ridiculously, sane enough to pick up on just how overly-excited Ralph was getting. In fact, the freaked out dog backed up a little himself as Ralph further approached.

"Well, yeah-"

"Ooh! And you said you get it by fighting scorpions?" the mastiff confirmed, his voice almost mocking the requirement.

At the mere mention of the stinging creatures, however, the fellow dog straightened up in rapt attention. Shaking, he cowered back once again and yelped.

"M-mutated scorpions!" the dog answered threateningly, his tail tucked between his legs in sudden fear.

Forcing himself not to mockingly roll his eyes at the other strong dog's sudden cowarding, Ralph brushed the comment off.

This cop dog was clearly off his rocker; there was no such thing as mutated scorpions! Never have been, never would be- mutated animals just didn't exist...

Besides, look at the pooch claiming they exist, Ralph further mocked mentally as he watched the cop dog's head jerked around anxiously in all directions, afraid of something...someone lurking in the darkness...

But if 'fighting' these make-believe pests would get Ralph his collar, why wouldn't he try it?

"Right, mutated scorpions- got it," he droned quickly. "So... is there any way I can come with ya and, you know... get me one of those collars?" he asked then hopefully.

At Ralph's request, the canine cop suddenly held his head still and glared back at the mastiff.

"Negatory!" he answered, face completely serious and stone cold as he sat straight up.

In return, Ralph looked at him puzzled, softly cocking his head to the side. "Does that mean maybe?"

"No!" the other mutt hissed harshly as he slowly crept towards Ralph. "Look! Only the bravest, best canines can serve in our core!"

Before Ralph could continue to beg, he backed up in intimidation...and accidentally stepped on the small, cutesy rudder scorpion toy he had dug up earlier. The squeaker it had tucked inside squealed loudly, grabbing both of the dogs' attention.

At seeing just what the toy look like, the german shepherd's eyes suddenly went wide.

"SCORPION!" he shrieked shrilly as he quickly turned to scrambled away...

Only to run right back into the brick wall, this time pasting out with the direct force to his head.

As the dog crumbled to the dirt ground, Ralph gulped and winced slightly- his wide eyes dancing from the passed out cop dog and the discolored, worn out scorpion toy made for puppies by his back paw.

Maybe those mutated scorpion are real, his mind mused nervously. Even crazy dogs don't get that scared of a toy look-alike...

And if such a large, tough dog like this can get scared from a mere toy scorpion, his conscience warned him worriedly, then just what are these possibly real mutated scorpions like?...

His ears flat up against his head, the nervous mastiff was about to turn and bolt, leaving the crazy, knocked out cop dog by himself...

Before the image on a bright, shiny, new good dog collar tauntingly flashed in Ralph's mind, causing him to halt in his tracks.

At least he knew he could get one from the police force now...

But just how would he do so without actually being on the K-9 team?... And without getting killed by these deathly sounding creatures?

The sorrowful mastiff apprehensively peered back at the fallen german shepherd -and the K-9 vest said cop dog was wearing...

And all at once, an idea suddenly occurred Ralph -one beyond very risky and dangerous, and one that might not even begin to work...

But Ralph quickly decided that it was worth taking a chance on. No matter how dumb or flaky it seemed.

Suddenly taking the dog's earlier warning with a grain of salt, Ralph flicked the scorpion toy at his feet with one sweep of his massive paw. A sly smile appeared across his lips as he secretively glanced around him and approached the fallen soldier dog.

What he was about to do was no doubt illegal, stupid, bad-dogish...and just plain wrong, he knew deep down...

But at the moment, the smug mastiff could only think one thing.

It's going to be almost too easy to get my new collar.