Chapter 62: All-Time Low

Shaking his head roughly due to his stumbling, Ralph blinked a few seconds. As he tried to shakily stand back up, it took him few mere seconds for him to realize that he couldn't even hoist himself up very much.

Looking down, he saw that thick mud from the mud puddle caked and clung to most of his forelegs on all four feet- and even the bottom of his stomach had the glue-like mud on it, holding him down and not allowing him to rise up fully.

Meanwhile, the smirking kitten was still perched safely in the tree, and seeing the mastiff stuck in the mud, she set the collar down on a branch. A loud, raspy laugh apathetically escape her lips- finding the pathetic excuse of a dog below her absolutely hilarious.

In total dismay, Ralph frantically panted for a moment- his eyes squishing tightly as he sought to get unstuck in the sticky mud. Mentally blocking out the kitten's growing, scoffing laugher, he strained and extended and wiggled his long, strong legs all he could- but to no avail. Even his larger-than-paws seemed glued to the sidewalk now, leaving him completely immobile.

As hard as it was to admit it, Ralph was pitifully stuck in the mud- and stuck good.

In absolute anger and frustration, the irate guard dog glared furiously up at the still giggling kitten. He could only see flashes of bright red- from his own blood creating spots in his eyes or from his now over-boiling anger, he didn't know or care.

All Ralph knew was that he was mad. Bad-dog mad.

"You better give me back my collar, you rotten little cat!" He growled as loud and fiercely as he could- shocking himself at how menacingly he sounded. "If you don't, you'll regret the day you were born!!!"

Still chuckling quietly at the dog's misfortune, the kitten snatched up the collar- now her collar- and headed down the tree, gracefully hoping from one tree branch to the next descending one.

"Yeah, right," she answered him around the collar in her mouth, "whatcha gonna do- bark me to death?! You forget you're stuck in that mud there, bozo?! Besides," she nonchalantly continued, "you and I both know you wouldn't hurt a little kitten like me! Your nasty-smelling bark is way worse than your bite!"

In shock at her cutting answer, Ralph just growled softly -to himself more than at her- as he shrunk slightly deeper in the mud.

Although never wanting to admit it, he knew that she was indeed regrettably, inarguably right. While being stuck in the mud, Ralph knew he was practically helpless, completely and utterly unintimidating in every way...

Not that that matter, anyways- because somehow that kitten knew he was bluffing about hurting her, too.

No matter how many red spots he saw, no irate he could get, not even in his baddest bad-dog anger...

Ralph subconsciously knew he would never seriously or viciously hurt a younger, weaker, female creature- dog or otherwise. Even if it was a cat. An overly obnoxious cat that was never taught basic manners.

As mad at this kitten as he was, Ralph knew his threatening words of hurting her were as empty as he felt.

But how exactly that kitten somehow knew that about him, Ralph didn't know- or pause to think about.

Maybe that's why she didn't fear him whatsoever and knew she could walk all over him, teasing him, insulting him with no fear of real harmful retaliation... because she knew, somehow, someway, that this big, strong bad dog wasn't nearly as bad as he appeared- or even tried to be...

But for once, Ralph didn't like someone didn't fear him. No one bit. How was he going to get his collar back if she wasn't afraid of him in the slightest?

When the smug cat hoped off from the last branch and walked tauntingly close to the mud pit, the now desperate mastiff couldn't control himself. Growling in frustration, he put an embarrassing amount of effort into yet more vain struggling. He stretched as long as he could to try and reach the collar- now just tauntingly inches from his snout.

Seeing there was no point in vainly straining anymore, Ralph suddenly gave up and nearly collapsed with weak, strained knees- before he remembered that he'd get even more submerged into the mud if he did so.

Watching as the massive dog was practically rendered useless, the kitten just smirked and stood with the collar in her mouth- insultingly close to Ralph's place in the mud. After she narrowed her eyes demeaningly at him, she turned on her heels to leave- the precious collar and its tags safely hanging in her mouth...

Causing the contained, desperate dog to finally compromise to an unsearchable low, even for him.

Flat-out begging. To a cat.

"Wait, wait- just a second," he pleaded out weakly, trying to make his eyes as big and wide as possible. "Let's talk about this!"

At his plea, the kitten spun on her paws to look expectingly at him. Sighing loudly at the annoying look of triumph on her face, Ralph almost forgot the whole idea, almost decided that he'd rather slink back home without a collar than give this kitten the satisfaction of hulimating him even more...

Before the mental look of Gene's overly smug face filled his mind all at once.

Sighing miserably yet again, Ralph hesitantly looked straight into the obnoxious kitten's half-lidded eyes- and chose to ignore the way they seemed to glow in a strange happiness at his humiliation. Blushing bright red, he hung his head in utter shame.

Thank goodness none of the other animals back at the pet shop can see this right now, he briefly thought in agony. This is just sad.

"Ok...Here's the truth," the mastiff finally began- unable to look at the kitten in the eye. "I'm- I'm not from the bomb squad, ok-"

"Oh, what a shocker!" The kitten sarcastically smirked, nonchalantly laying the collar down and daintily licking her left paw. "Here's another truth: I could tell you weren't from any 'bomb squad' the second you opened your mouth, Tubby. You look a step above being homeless."

"Oh, yeah?" the mastiff suddenly growled back- refusing to be further insulted by her. "Right back at ya, you...you cat! You reek of garbage, your fur is filthy- you're clearly the homeless one here!"

At his reply, the kitten abruptly stopped licking her paw. To Ralph's surprise, she didn't immediately counter with another quick jab or witty quip. She remained refreshingly silent for a moment- though Ralph saw one of her ears slightly twitch in defense and annoyance.

And to his delight, the mastiff realized he'd finally gotten under this kitten's annoyingly tough skin.

"Well, that may be true," she finally spoke, defensively seeming to brush off his words, "but at least I don't clearly lie through my teeth."

When Ralph just lowered his head in further guilt and annoyance, the kitten smirked again.

"And on that note," she continued as she suddenly pretended to look hurt. "Lying to a kitten is just awful. Shame on you, Ralphie boy," she sassed out, triumph and overconfidence in her voice as she examined the collar at her paws.

Ignoring how his skin crawled when she said her last few words, Ralph bit his tongue and instead made his eyes go even wider.

"But I wasn't lying about the collar!" he finally pleaded with her, shifting in his place in the mud. "That is my collar! That's why I was by that pole, because it got stuck up there- and it's mine!"

A path gging her to have sympathy with him in his sad state, he made his eyes go as wide as possible.

"It's-it's precious to me," he yiped miserably. "Please give it back to me. It's-it's my ticket to a better life!"

"Well, guess what?" the kitten began with her devilish, jeering smile. She paused long enough to gently bat the collar around at her feet, unfazed by Ralph's begging. "Now it's mi-!"

Stopping midword, the kitten froze for a moment. She frowned and stared down at her nose- it suddenly beginning to wiggle for a moment...And as odd as it as, Ralph could've swore her nose was moving all on its own.

All at once, the feline's round face abruptly squished up- as if taking in a strange, fowl odor. Seeming to quickly dismiss the apparent smell filling her nose, she roughly shook her head- although a rare look of hesitantly remained clearly on her face.

Trying to narrow her eyes cooly and somewhat playfully back at him again, the kitten began again. "Now it mi- mi-"

Cutting herself off again, the small feline's eyes suddenly flashed wide as her smile and playfulness disappeared...

And for the first time all night, a look of real, unhidden fear filled her eyes for some odd reason.

Cocking his head, Ralph raised an eyebrow at the kitten's strange behavior and eyed her curiously- especially when she shook her head hard again.

"It-it's min-" the kitten stuttered out- her eyes doubled in size in clear fear. "M-mine col-"

Her large ears flattened up against her head, she stopped speaking once again- seemingly beyond alarmed that she was now stuttering out her answer.

Shaking her large head yet again -apparantly trying to finally clear it- the feline looked annoyed by something, in fear of something. Her face squished up, she tightly shut her eyes, casually brushing off something- or trying to, at least.

But as she opened them again, her large, telling eyes said it all.

This kitten was scared- even terrified of something to come.

Clearly hating the feeling of fear, however, she ignored her unexplained uneasiness. Strong determination in her eyes, she tried for the last time to tell Ralph her possession over the good-dog collar. "Now it's mi- mi-InE!!"

Her voice was no more steady- in fact it had become more than shaky...and all at once, her beautiful eyes rolled into the back of her head...

And seconds later, the kitten began to violently shake- a strong, forceful, terrifying seizure that overtook her from head to tail.

In his place in the mud, Ralph watched in a strange horror as the tiny kitten convulsed into a horrible, gut-wrenchingly strong shaking that rocked her with forceful, shocking strength. The spasms shook up her tense body like she was experimenting her own eternal high magnitude earthquake, causing her to jerk her head side to side sharply.

As small and fragile as she looked, the kitten was somehow able to hold her ground during such a forceful tremor, her short little legs tensing up like tiny supporting rods- which somehow kept herself from being completely thrown onto the ground. It was painfully clear to Ralph, however, that by the way her whole body tensed up and her face tightly twisted up that the seizure was uncontrollably strong...and possibly painful for the poor creature it took control of.

As he watched for an unbearable second, the mastiff suddenly felt even more helpless that he already did. He had seen a human -even one that he loved dearly- have seizures many times...

But in all his life, Ralph had never seen an animal have a seizure like this. This seizure seemed to literally overtake the animal and cause them to go into a semi-conscious state- leaving the poor creature so vulnerable...

And despite his remaining intense anger, despite how annoying this kitten had been...even despite the fact that she stole his hard-earn collar...

Ralph still couldn't help but feel a strong, unique sympathy for the convlusing kitten.

Just when Ralph thought he couldn't take the kitten's violent shaking anymore, just like that, it was all over. The seizure, the jerking, the dread and sick feeling Ralph was having- all over as fast and abrupt as it had begun.

The powerful seizure losing its control over her, the kitten's eyes rolled back down to their normal level and darted quickly around in panic- the beautiful hazel tint to them showing once again. She heaved slightly and licked her dry top lip, standing refreshingly still on her paws for a moment.

Gaining control over her body again, the cat gulped and heaved slightly, clearly fazed by what had just transpired...

And for a split moment in time, she looked up at a wide-eyed, terrified Ralph...and just as their eyes briefly met..

Another dismissive smirk surfaced on the kitten's face- acting as if nothing had happened.

"This collar is mine!" she finally got out with a slight hint of triumph in her voice.

Beyond smug, the feline snatched up the collar into her mouth again... and after she looked into Ralph one last time with half-lidded eyes, she turned fully around on her paws once more.

"See ya, chump!" she crowed as she skipped away jovially, peering over her shoulder with another infuriating smrik.

Finally grasping what was happening, Ralph abandoned his worry and agony over the kitten- and his bad dog anger came roaring back to life.

She's running off with your collar, you Dummy! His mind screamed at him in desperaion. Get it back!

"Come back!" the mastiff screamed as he flailed around in the mud again, perilously getting even more stuck. When the kitten ignores the command, Ralph snarled

"Then I'll find you!" he hissed loudly, tensing up in all too raw seriousness. "I will get unstuck and I will find you!"

As the kitten kept going into the darkness and along the sidewalk, Ralph growled fiercely. In frustration, he slammed his side into the light pole beside him. His ribs feeling beyond bruised, he looked up in hopelesses...seconds before the light bulb from the street light came sailing down. It hit the ground beside Ralph with an earth-shattering clash- only this time he couldn't get away so easily as pieces of glass sprinkled all over him.

"The light bulb comes out!" he heard the kitten annoyingly called ahead of him, now completely unseen in the complete darkness.

Staring blankly and slack-jawed for a moment, Ralph finally felt one of his eyes twitch ever so softly.

Covered from head to tail with all sorts of cuts and bruises, scrapes and scratches...having gone through so much already...just to lose his well-earned collar to a kitten...

Ralph's stomach twisted up in an anguish, misery, utterly sicking determination he'd never known before.

At this point, he honestly didn't care if he didn't get back to the pet shop in time to win the bet with Gene, nor he did care how long it took him to get back home from here in Sugar Russia- now that there was a further delay by being fastened in some cement-like mud and the collar being taken.

Ralph didn't care what or who he had to meet or get through or completely pulverize.

He was getting that good-dog collar back. No matter what.

Even if that meant forcefully taking it back from a low-down, no-good, twitching kitten after tracking her down.

(A/N: Yay! I could finally introduce Vanellope's character in the story! :) :D I thought about making her a dog as well, but decided her personality and physical characteristics fit that of a cat better than a dog ;))