Chapter 73: Itching to Get Started
(A/N: Ugh! So sorry for the months long hiatus! lol Life's been crazy, as usual- plus, I've had other writing projects battling for my already limited time, energy, and attention lol Here's a couple of short chapters back to back to *hopefully* make up for my laziness! lol ;)
As always, thanks for reading! :D)
Okay, don't panic. Just try and stay calm...stay focused on the goal...
Sighing slowly at her pathetic mental cooing, the creature closed her eyes- already annoyed at how childish her mind mantra was making her feel. Regardless, she tried to apply its words by attempting to block out everything- and to her complete surprise, within seconds, she had sucessfully gained control over all input swarming around her.
In a moment all too rare in her small world, the creature had muted every sound, smell, touch around her- refusing to allow them inside access. She quieted her own emotions, feelings, worries deep inside her- refusing to allow them outside access...And she somehow even caused her plaguing, intrusive, ever negative thoughts to shut up for a moment before they could try and bust her bubble again.
Just for a moment, though.
And just when she confidently thought she had succeeded in silencing her fears and doubts... just when everything in her small, confined world was in a sparse, complete peace-
...Wait, what are you doin'?! You can't do this, you numb skull!! You are going to fail- just like you always have!! There is NO WAY in the mother of Lassie that you are going to win this whole shebang!!...
-All at once, the creature's screaming, bitter thoughts came roaring back to life, causing her to snarl at herself in almost defeat.
As she hesitantly blinked open her eyes again, the animal roughly shook her head. Renewed frustration washed over her, becaming vexed with how often her fears and doubts were so annoying, so intrusive...and possibly so valid...
Gulping down that stupid accompanying knot in her dry throat, she forgot trying to hush her thoughts and attempted to bit down a little on her lip instead- seeking to ground herself, to remember to just stay alert. To stay focus and engaged and calm.
In desperatation, she did all she could to block out the weightiness of what was about to happen- to her and for her flat-out miserable life...
Well, at least, what she certainly hoped was going to happen...
There was always the possibility all this mere creature hoped for wouldn't pan out exactly the way she wanted to. In fact, that possibility was more like a probability, her dreams remaining unrealized and her hopes crushed even more by the end of the day than ever before...
But this stubborn animal was determined not to focus about that part of her future- as unsettling and almost certain as it was.
Shaking in eagerness mixed with unsettled fear, she bit down harder on her lip and closed her large eyes again. She didn't have time to dwell on what could happen...or, more accurately, what probably will happen...
Possibly even worse than anything she had faced in her past...
Trying to distract herself before any another thoughts...accompanying by certain horrible, horrible memories the evoked...could wash over her, the small animal forced herself to peer through the small shrub she was hiding in. Blinking repeatedly, she tried in vain to focus on something -anything- in front of her...before feeling a slight itchy tingle behind her left triangular ear.
Petulantly sighing, the irritated creature rolled her eyes and groaned. She didn't have time for this right now.
Snarling, the itchy animal quickly looked around inside the scrub for a good scratching branch. Upon spoting a near-perfect, ear-level twig that was hanging down low, she silently wiggled up beside it- right before she noticed just how sharp the end of the twig was. Great for scratching- not so great for slow-to-heal sores behind an animal's ear.
Already wincing, she grunted and decided to take a chance. After nearly damagingly poking inside her ear several times, she finally found that perfect motion of head-shaking that caused the twig to gently rub the itchy place behind her ear. Sighing in content, she was about to pull away...
When that stupid little tingle behind her ear quickly became a flat-out itch attack- causing the poor animal to have no choice.
Tightly squishing her large eyes shut, she braced for relief mixed with searing pain. Manuvering her head a little bit more, she began to frantically rubbed her itching spot up against the sharp point of the stick, scratching it hardest she could.
Although gaining some relieve from the annoying itch, she gritted her teeth and whined softly at the sharp pain she experienced then. That one still rawish sore behind her ear hadn't healed up yet- and poking it repeatedly with a sharp twig wasn't going to speed up the process at all.
Stupid fleas, she mentally hissed as she rolled her eyes and huffed indignantly. They bug me so much!
Raising an eyebrow in realization, the sassy animal suddenly couldn't help but snort at her choice of mental words. She always loved a good pun.
Smirking at her wit, the creature shook her head free of the still gnawing pain behind her ear- which unintentionally created space and opportunity for returning negative thoughts.
She couldn't help but nervously gulp at that nervous flutter going on in her stomach again- somehow just as annoying and invasive as the bloody scratch behind her ear. If not even more so.
Those persistent, annoying butterflies temporarily caged up in her gut were bouncing around, desperately trying to gain freedom- but she wouldn't allow it...couldn't allow it. She'd come so far -too far- just to give up now...
But no matter how much she told herself that simple fact, her mind always, always seemed to know how to counteract it, making her shrink back in growing embarrassment and hulimation- and forget all about her witty pun.
Without her consent, the small animal's plauging mind suddenly flashed to a series of mental pictures, precisely on how the whole talent show could go down- for better or for worse.
Taking all the glory and honor for herself, this helpless creature could actually win the entire competition...
And give herself a chance to actually get a good home- her sure-fire way out of the horrible life she now experienced and was enduring through.
Or she could lose, of course...and have her life just stay the same. Or, get much, much worse, actually...
Deep down, the creature knew she had a 50-50 chance of victory or losing. Getting a home or keep on living all alone. Becoming happy or continuing on miserable. That was it.
Well, it's technically an one in 15 chance, the animal's snarky mind had to reply. There is 15 of us who would be competing...Some of whom are super strong, manipulative competiters...Making the competition unfair, bias, and completely out of my advantage, nonetheless...
No! Just stay focus and relax, the creature forced herself to redirect her detrailling thoughts, semi-soothing herself. Don't physic yourself out like this. Don't get too excited and forget what you're doing- but don't get discouraged and doubtful of yourself, either, she tried -in vain- to balance out.
Pausing to lick her bloody furry paw, she use said furry paw to rub the back of her raw ear- wincing in sharp pain as she did. Overwhelmed with restlessness and misery, she flattened her ears and wiggled uuneaily in her place.
The competition will start soon; you just have to be patient, her mental mantra took over again- not able to soothe her even a pinch this time. Just stay calm and positive til then...and remember to breathe, V. Just breathe...
