Chapter 3: A necessary Healing

In other news, it's been a month since the devastating fire that destroyed the Warehouse. Authorities are still at a loss to what could have caused the fire. Scientists suspect that mutagen was involved as it was discovered at the scene. Though if this evidence is from previous Kragg activity or an experiment gone wrong we will never know..

The TV turned off with a resounding click. Don buried his face in his hands, his heart aching. It had been a month since the fire but there were times when it still felt like Yesterday. Time may be passing but the pain remained just as strong, just as fresh as it had that night he'd watch the building collapse. The night he watched his world go up in flames. Donn knew he wasn't the only one hurting. He knew Mikey cried himself to sleep every night. Their youngest brother had several nightmares about that tragic night and Donn feared it might be a long time before that too fades away. Raph..Raph fell apart. At first the fire inside him had consumed him. HIs anger had taken control. What held him together had been his dedication to find Leo. But when the search was called off, when the city started to clean up the rubble and they were forced to abandon the search..his fire had just died. But when Donnie suggested a funeral..Raph just snapped. None of them wanted to stop searching. Donnie was just being logical, he had to be! Mikey was slowly slipping further and further into depression, Raph was going to tear himself apart and Donnie felt like he was barely hanging on to reality as it was. He would never give up on his brother. Never! But they needed to grieve. They needed that! He needed that! And Leo deserved that! They had all been dedicated to finding Leo. The three of them spent every possible minute searching through the rubble of that building and scouring the city for any sign of their brother. But Raph just couldn't stop. When the sun came and forced them back into the sewers, Mikey would curl up and drift into a restless sleep. Don would throw himself into research, searching the news, nearby labs, anything for clues. Raph, he would take his anger out in the dojo for hours upon end usually until he was so worked through he would collapse from exhaustion. In their own way..they all fell apart. They all fell into their own self-destructive habits. But none of them knew how to save each other. Leo was the one who always knew. Leo was the one who could calm Mikey's fears and chase the nightmares away. Leo was the one who could calm the storm inside of the hothead and help him see reason. Leo was the one who could pull Donnie from his lab and get him to stop obsessing and open up. But Leo wasn't there!

For weeks they searched. They sorted through the rubble of the building as thoroughly as they could. They searched from sunset to sunrise, everyday for a month.

Tears poured down Donnie's face. The news had confirmed it. They had found traces of mutagen on the scene. Him and his brothers had worked arduously to ensure that the last trace of mutagen was gone from the city. That included Stockman's old supply, if any was found on the scene it would have been fresh. That ment that their suspicions had been right all had suspected that Stockman had been involved in the 'incident' and that mutagen had come into play but suspecting and hearing it confirmed on TV were two different things. Stockman. The fire, the building collapse, the reason their brother called. It was Stockman. Leo had found Stockman up to no good, had stepped in to stop some evil plan, and when he called for help..Donnie didn't answer. Tears burned Donnie's eyes. His brother had needed him and he hadn't been there! Guilt, regret and bitter sorrow and fiery anger coursed through the genius. He pulled out his phone. He hadn't answered. His brother called him. Donnie was the scientist of their team, of their family. Stockman had been up to something, Leo had needed him and he didn't answer his phone. He didn't hear it. He had been so consumed in his project he didn't hear it ring. He didn't even know anything was up until the alarm was sounded. But by then it was too late..he was too late. Tears stung at his eyes as Donnie stared down at the phone in his hands. It would never happen again. Donnie would be sure of it. He had programmed around it, if he didn't answer a call by the fourth ring an alarm would sound on both his watch and his computer. He had several measures in place to ensure he never missed a call again. He would be there for his remaining brothers. He lost one brother. And for shell he would do everything it took to ensure he did not lose another.

"Donnie" The genius turned around to see the tearfilled green eyes of his older brother. "It wasn't your fault."

Donnie shook his head, his breath catching in his throat. How could his brother say that, how could he not blame him?

"It was Raph..Leo called me..if I had just answered..if only I hadn't been so preoccupied..it was several minutes Raph..time that we could have used getting to Leo..it could have ended differently..If I had answered Leo might still be..he would not have.." tears filled his brown eyes and suddenly strong green arms were around him.

"I don't blame you Donnie and I know Leo wouldn't either." Donnie broke down fully at the mention of their brother. In his heart of hearts he knew his brother was right. Leo loved them more than anything in the world. Everything he did was for them. Tears flooded his brown eyes and deep down a wound began to heal. Raph was right, Leo wouldn't have blamed him. He knew that, part of him had always known that but it still hurt.

Another pair of arms encompassed him. "It's not your fault Dee" Mikey's tearfilled voice said, his face pressed into the chest of his immediate younger brother. A sob coursed through the genius as he hugged his two remaining brothers tightly to him. They had lost so much! First their father, now Leo..

The three sat like that for a long time, leaning on one another letting their tears of grief wash over them. Leaning on each other to both give and receive support, letting one another know that they were there and that there was no blame for the tragedy that had struck their already small family.

Raph buried his face in Donnie's shoulder, taking a couple deep breaths. "I'm sorry I yelled at you Donnie..you're right..it just..hurt..what you said yesterday..I just wasn't ready..still ain't ready to accept Leo is..gone."

Donn buried his face into his older brother's chest, oh how he knew that feeling. None of them were ready to except that Leo was gone..he didn't think they ever really would be. But they needed to. It was time. Time to grieve, to heal.

"Leo will always be ma leader Don. That aint ever gonna change for me. But Leo once told me that if he ever..died.." Raph's voice cracked slightly. "He would want me to take over" The hothead gave a slight shudder as he forced himself to bring up the conversation he had so avidly shut down yesterday, although the words tasted sour in his mouth, he understood now what his genius younger brother had been saying. They were all falling apart without Leo. It had been a month, the city was already beginning to clear away the rubble. They had found no sign of their brother, and there was little if any chance he survived..

"I'll never fill his shoes" Raph's voice broke. "But I swear, I'll keep you guys safe"

"You're not alone Raph," Mikey's teary voice added as he hugged his brother tighter. "We still have each other. You me and Donnie, we're not alone in this. Leo would want us to ban together. You don't have to do this alone. None of us do"

Tears fell down Donnie's face as he pulled his brothers tighter. Losing Leo was one of the greatest pains he had ever experienced in his life. Mikey was right they were not alone, they still had each other. As long as they were together they could get through this. It was hard but it was a necessary step. Leo deserved a funeral. None of them would ever completely give up hope that he was still alive. Don was sure of that. But they needed to move on. They needed to heal. It hurt but it was time. After all It was what Leo would want.