Chapter: 14 Lies and Betrayal

There's a distant humming in the background, but I pay it no mind as I sit patiently waiting for my brother and answers. My backpack sits on my lap, packed with the flash drive of secrets, my notebook of memories, a copy of my resume, my police badge, a few changes of clothes, some money, two water bottles, a knife, a few cans of food and a box of granola bars.

I don't know where I'll go but one thing is for certain I can't stay here. I thought of just leaving but part of me held me still. I want no need, answers from the person I once called brother.

After a short break down I read through and saved every relevant piece of information I could find. It seems as though 'Baxter' has already extracted my DNA somehow, though I don't think I even want to know HOW. From the look of it he has two batches of reverse retro-mutagen. From the information I gathered and saved on the flash drive, he stooped so low as to steal my blood donation from the red cross.

My gaze wanders over to the strange gun sitting in the corner. When I first came down and took in the state of the lab, I had acknowledged it but hadn't paid it much mind let alone realize the significance of the object. It was the gun from my dream. The one Baxter had been working on, the one attached to the strange electric panel in the warehouse. Now knowing that it was a device to harness the reverse retro-mutagen and learning that the man who calls me 'brother' is actually the person who mutated me, I look at the device in a whole new light.

I let out a shaky breath, pulling my knees to my chest as a tear fell down my face, a hiccup escaping from my chest so pent up with warring emotions. I have already cried a river, but the tears just keep coming.

I feel like I am still in shock.

What used to be crystal clear. Is now grey.

Everything I know is a lie!

There are days that I want to scream, where I feel lost and alone. But even though I've had my rough patches Baxter had helped me through it. No matter how frustrated, confused or lost I had felt I never felt hopeless or alone because Baxter was there. My brother. I thought I could trust him. I thought he cared.

But the harsh truth has now come to light.

That it was all a lie!

I can't trust Baxter!

He doesn't care.

He lied to me!

He mutated me!

I had lost everything because of him.

I'm still here because I want to know why!

The sound of the upstairs door slamming shut pulls me out of my dark thoughts. Hurried footsteps stomp down the stairs indicating that Baxter is running. I let go of my knees moving to sit up straight in the chair and shoot my brother with an angry glare as he rushes into the room.

"Peter!" Baxter's eyes widened in surprise before narrowing in anger. "How many times have I told you to stay out of my lab! What I am working on is none of your concern!"

I want to scoff. Out of everything this especially concerns me.

I cross my arms and shoot Baxter a penetrating stare, reading his apprehension, fear, guilt and shame. I can always read him like a book. Knowing now why he's been locking himself away, I can pinpoint these emotions even more easily.

"What is all this Baxter?" My voice is icy and carries a calm I am most definitely not feeling right now.

"I said," Baxter says pointedly, his words coming off nearly in a growl. "It's none of your concern."

"I would say it is"

"You would not understand," he says, moving further into the lab most likely to usher me out.

"Then explain it to me" I answer, sending him a harsh glare. "Because I'd say you have a lot of explaining to do."

My last words finally struck a cord as Baxter's eyes fell to the map laying on the floor covered in stew.

Baxter's brown eyes widened, turning to look at me in distress. A dozen emotions filtered through those intelligent eyes in those few moments, faster than I could note let alone comprehend.

"Why did you lie to me?" my voice comes out broken, pleading.

"Peter.." his voice is soft, comforting. But I don't need comfort right now, I need answers.

"Why?!" I lept to my feet.

The word hanging in the air, with so many meanings.

Why did you push me away?

Why were you hiding?

Why did you Lie?

Why did you mutate me?

Why did you take me?

Baxter let out a breath, his eyes sinking to the floor before he looked up, his eyes locking with mine and the brown orbs beneath the glasses held so much hurt, headache and pain that it nearly knocked the breath out of me.

"Because we were all each other have Peter"

I sank back into the chair.

"It was an accident, you have to believe that. I no more wanted to mutate you than I wanted to start a fire. They just happened. But afterwards everything was destroyed. I lost..we both lost everything."

"So you took me to make up for your research ?" I scoffed.

Baxter shook his head sinking to the floor in front of me.

"No" he let out a breath. "I took you because like me, you'd lost everything"

I let out a scoff leaping to my feat in indignation. "Lost everything?! No Baxter. I lost everything! I lost my memories. I lost my past. I lost my identity. Heck I probably lost friends and family. And from the sounds of it I was also mutated so I lost that too! You" I point a figure in Baxter's face. "Lost a warehouse and was given a chance to start over again. To do what? Fall back into your old habits again, pull alone the mutated 'subject' with amnesia as a toy?! Baloney Baxter, I lost a Lot more than you did!" Angry tears pour out of my eyes. "What am I but a project for you to work on. Did you ever mean it when you called me brother, or have I never been more than just a means to continue your research, carry out your plan?!"

Suddenly arms are around me and I am engrossed in an all to familiar purple sweater. But the embrace is not comforting like it used to be. I just stand there stiffly.

"No!" Baxter's voice comes out loud and adamant as he leans back to shake me. "You are NOT a science subject! You are not 'means to carry out a plan'! And you are definitely not a project or a toy!" Baxter shakes me again, his eyes wide but serious. "You are my brother!" Once again I am encompassed in a purple sweater as Baxter hugs me with a panicked ferocity.

I shake out of the embrace.

"Then why did you mutat me?!"

"That was an accident!" Baxter yells, arms thrown in the air before pointing a finger my direction "plus it was technically your fault, you jumped in front of the gun"

"Oh yeah. And why would I do that?"

Baxter lets out a scoff as he throws his arms in the air. "To save me"

"Oh and you return the gesture by lying to me?!"

"I had to lie to you!" Baxter screams his eyes pleading with me to understand. "There are things you don't remember things you would not understand! I don't want to lose you Peter!"

I turned my head away, mind reeling as I tried to process all this. I take a centering breath, running a hand through my long hair as I pull up a mask, for the next set of questions I need to ask.

"You're using me as a deritivite of the mutagen. What are you planning?!" The words come out cold and calculated. I sound like I'm in control, but I'm not. It's a mask. My voice nearly breaks, emotions warring within me.

Baxter lets his head droop his voice monotone as he continues. "I created the reverse retromutagen as a means of escaping the hold Shredder and his goons had on me for good. The mutagen would turn them fully into the first organism they came in contact with, the process whipping their minds and memories so that they could be free to adjust to their new life and state of being fully and thus leave me free and safe." My heart pounds in my heart. "It had taken months to scrounge up enough supplies and mutagen to carry out my plan. I was just putting the finishing touches on the gun when I was discovered." Baxter's voice was quiet as he continued. "You were alone that night. We'd fought in the past, when I used to work for Shredder. Enough that I considered you an enemy. I was angry, I tried to validate my work, explaining that I was only securing my safety in order to turn over a new leaf. But you saw right through me." Baxter's voice lifted slightly as though in muted amusement. "You actually lectured me" A flat humerus laugh hangs awkwardly in the tense air as Baxter shakes his head in amused bafflement before continuing. "You said a lot of things I actually took to heart..i wasn't used to being people actually..caring for me. It struck a chord." Baxter's eyes dart down his hand instinctively darting to the burns hidden under the sleeve of his sweater. "Then the fire started. That too was an accident. It was the energy conduits I was using to power the mutagen gun, the mutagen was slightly unstable and the system was precarious as it was. We worked side by side to put it out, to get the system under control. I know you activated some kind of distress signal, but your..they didn't arrive in time." My eyes drift down to the floor, my mind reeling. "I wasn't paying attention, my back was to the abandoned gun, I was too focused on shutting down the energy conduits. You noticed though and jumped in front of me, blocking the blast" Baxter closed his eyes. "The fire grew worse and not long after the building collapsed" he stopped for a moment. "I don't remember much after that. I know you nearly died, when the firefighters came it was kinda touch and go and they had to perform CPR in the ambulance."

I stood there for a moment just taking everything in. Every new piece of information stung. Like a physical blow it knocks the breath out of me and sends me reeling. I feel confused and alone like I'm stranded in the middle of the ocean with nowhere to swim. The uncaring sea throwing me around like a rag doll the waves plumbing me over and over again, never letting me catch my breath.

There it was the story I have been wanting to hear since I first woke up, the story of what happened to us that night. The truth behind our scares, the full picture of the few details that plague my sleep. But it is nothing like I thought it would be. This picture does not help the pieces of my life fall into place and help me move on. It holds none of the resolve I was hoping for instead it scatters the pieces, breaks the forming picture of my life and leaves me with nothing but betrayal and lies!

I have so many questions, but the words are stuck in my throat. Only one sticks out above all a detail in the shadow of the story that hints at a lie in the cornerstone of my life.

Baxter had called us enemies.

Not brothers.

Enemies.

"So all you've said is a lie" my voice is soft, but firm, the line a statement not a question.

"Not everything"

"You called us 'enemies', you said we had fought in the past." I will my eyes off the floor to meet his, my gaze penetrating. "Answer me this Baxter, and please do not lie am I really your brother?"

My heart pounds in my chest as a beat of silace passes, tears gleaming behind his glasses as Baxter's brown eyes look at me with love and compassion.

"We became brothers. Both our lives changed after the fire, shifting our destiny. The near tragedy made us brothers, made us family" Baxter's eyes shimmered his teary voice cracking. "Destiny is a choice Peter. I turned away from my old ways and embraced a new path. The fire destroyed many things, but it also gave us both a new start. We became brothers. I needed you and you needed me"

I close my eyes.

It's too much!

It's too much!

It's all a Lie!

Anger surges in me "I do not need you!" I yell, tears pouring out of my eyes. "Don't act like you saved me, you stole me! You took me away from the city, and everything I used to know! You lied to me! You made me care about you!"

Tears come full force now and I couldn't care less.

"Why?! Why did you do that?!"

"You were just like me Peter, I've been lost before. I've been unsure and alone. I didn't want that for you" Baxter's voice soft, his hands held up in a signal of peace as he tries to approach me and tries to calm me down.

I shake my head, pushing his hands away. "I am nothing like you" I scream.

He backpedals a step my words hit him like a physical blow,.

"You stole me away from my home!" I wrap my arms around myself, my voice coming in hiccups as hysteria sets in. "What if I had a family? Friends?!"

Did I have a family?

Did I have Friends?

In my dream I remember Donatello. So he was part of my past.

I turn wide eyes to the one person who holds my past.

His deep brown eyes are sympathetic.

"They wouldn't have recognized you Peter"

I sink to the floor, my legs no longer able to support me.

Slowly he kneels down facing me a few feet away.

"They wouldn't have recognized you Peter, and you didn't remember them"

I open my mouth to say something but nothing comes out.

"So I took you in, we became a family. We needed each other, we still need each other. And things have been good"

I take a deep breath."..what changed?"

"Tabloids" Baxter let out a breath. "Marcus showed me an article in the tabloids. A mutant Pig and Rhino spotted just outside of Jersey." He shook his head. "I had grown so comfortable. So secure. Things have never been better. That I let my guard down Peter. Seeing that, helped me see how precarious things really are. I could lose everything Peter. So. So easily." Baxter's eyes look mournful for a moment. "I can't bear it Peter, the thought of losing everything. Of losing you. I realized then that I needed to do something. When the notice about the storage unit came a few days later, it felt like a sign. You see, I had this plan a while back to ensure Shredder's goons never bothered me again. But after the fire, I lost everything. Well almost everything." At the words an evil grin spread across Baxter's face. "In the warehouse you tried to stop me, even spoke reason to me..and I listened. Then the fire happened and all my work was destroyed." Baxter shook his head. "And I was fine with that, it was a chance to start over again and start anew. I figured they all probably thought me dead anyway." his laugh was unsettling, humorless. "But after Marcus showed me that tabloid, I realized just how precarious our lives are Peter. How it's all teetering on the edge. That's when I remembered an old prototype of the gun in a storage unit in Jersey. When I got the notice it felt like a sign. I had forgotten just how much of my old equipment and resources I actually had stored there! It didn't actually take much to get the prototype reasumelbed and up to date."

My eyes drifted over to said gun in the corner.

"You plan to use it" it's more of a statement than a question.

"I have to, Peter! That's why I left the house earlier. I realized there's a tracking device on my car! I took the car and parked it over by foothills, by the abandoned park this morning, it should buy us some time"

I shake my head, shocked that Baxter is even considering this madness.

"You don't have to do this Bax"

"Yes I do Peter, I can't lose all that we've worked so hard for"

"You're really going to do this?"

"Yes"

I let out a breath of resignation, his answer setting my next decision in stone. "Then you've already lost me Baxter"

"WHAT?!"

"If you use my blood, my DNA to harm others, to cause the same suffering I have gone through, then you leave me no choice. I will not stand by and watch another life get ruined Baxter. You have a choice though, you do not have to do this" I try reasoning with him.

Baxter's gaze drifts to the ground, his deep brown eyes troubled. "You don't understand. I have to Peter"

I let out a deep breath, pulling my feet under me and slinging my backpack over my shoulders. Although I feel hopelessly betrayed part of me hoped nothing would have to change, that Baxter could let this crazy obsession go. That we could work through this. But the damage was already done and Baxter's making no effort to amend. He leaves me with no choice.

"Goodbye Baxter"

"Nothing has changed you know" his words stop me in my tracks. His voice hollow "You have nowhere to go"

"I'll figure something out"

"You have nothing left for you in New York. Nothing has changed. They still will not recognize you, and you don't remember them."

The words send a pain deep within me. A bite my lip and fight back the onslaught of more tears.

But it doesn't matter if I remember them or not. I had been told to leave my old life behind to focus instead on creating a new one. The life I have is created on a foundation of lies. I may not remember my past life, but I couldn't in good consciousness stay here.

"Goodbye Baxter"

Goodbye Brother.


Wow that was hard to write!

What is Peter going to do now?

Where is he going to go?

Stay tuned for answers to these questions and more..same turtle time same turtle channel ;)