Part 4: Reunions
Chapter 17: Return to New York
Hello and welcome to part 4 :D We're finally here!
Looking forward to the next few chapters, as always I love to hear your thoughts.
The irony of the chapter name didn't hit me until I was about to post, this chapter was not originally based on the 2012 episode, but..it doesn't not fit. Sorry I'm rambling, without further adieu.
The blare of car horns, the rattling of distant conversations and bustle of movement as the city came to life were distant voices that greeted me as we passed through the awaking city in the predawn light. The sounds of the city assaulted my ears as all around us the dormant city awoke to a new dawn. What that new dawn would bring I admit I do not know. A lump formed in my throat at the thought, wrapping my arms tightly around myself. I pushed the thought from my mind as the Bebop and Rocksteady van slowed to a stop inside the vacant ally. The drive to the city had been fairly quiet, the two of us so caught up in our own torrent of emotions to talk. I had spent the majority of the drive trying in vain to figure out what to do next. Though it was hard to think over the noise of my own raging anxiety and fear. The sea of my own waring emotions was at times so loud that it was hard to think logically and coherently. Part of me just wanted to wrap up in a warm blanket and hide from the rest of the world. But I knew that the problems I was facing would not just go away by hiding from them: shutting them out would not make them disappear. I needed to face them, I needed to move on. I had spent the last year of my life, the only I can remember focusing on building a new life. In twenty four hours that whole life had been shattered by Baxgter's incredible lie. I had no other choice but to leave. To leave Baxter and his lies. To leave the life I had built based on the foundation of those lives. To leave the only people I know. To go where?
I felt a chill run down my spine as I took in the cold grimmy alley around me.
I had run away to the only place that I knew of that held even the smallest semblance of my past life, not exactly sure what I hoped to find here. I know next to nothing about New York but I had been from here and Baxter never let me come here so that alone says something.
Maybe something in this city will trigger a memory. I mean it's not like I have tried all that hard to remember. All this time I thought Baxter was just trying to be encouraging, trying not to get my hopes and just trying to help me grow, move forward, take the situation in a healthy manner; but all this time he wasn't helping me. he never brought up my past, encouraged me to move on because he cared no he did all that because he didn't want me to remember.
I closed my eyes as a torrent of emotions raged inside filling me to the brim.
No.
I would not think about that right now. I would not focus on the "brother" who lied and betrayed me. No right now I need to focus on what I can control. For this whole year where I was focusing on building a new life I had an old one out there just sitting abandoned. I could have people out there. People who actually care about me.
"Nothing has changed you know."
"You have nowhere to go"
I close my eyes and fight against the onslaught of tears as Baxter's words ring in my head.
It's so true. I had told him I would figure something out. I still meant that: I would figure something out. But I couldn't help being the slightest bit afraid. I had only been to New York once and that was with Marcus months ago. It's not like I have anyone here I could contact anywhere I could go.
"You have nothing left for you in NewYork. Nothing has changed. They still will not recognize you, and you don't remember them."
My heart ached at his words. Part of me grieved what I could not remember. In this past year the hole my amnesia left never felt so prominent till now. For the last year I thought I had a family: a brother, Baxter said we were all each other had. Now knowing that was all a lie knowing that there could be someone out there who I had lost who had lost me fills me with such sorrow and regret that it pains me to my core.
Baxter's words hurt because of their cold hard honesty. Nothing has changed. A year ago I left New York with amnesia a year later I returned to New York with amnesia. From Baxter's notes and what I can make out from my dream, which makes a lot more sense now, I have been mutated. If I pass someone from my past on the street there is a high possibility I won't recognize them and as a mutant they won't recognize me.
But Baxter is wrong about one thing. I left New York under his care, following my "older brother" to a new life. I had returned to New York under my own decision to figure things out on my own. The change is that I have the control now. I have much more knowledge and understanding than I did a year ago. In many ways I still am the same scared boy who woke up in that hospital bed a year ago but at the same time I'm also different in many ways. I have grown since then. I discovered that I have the reflexes of a ninja. I remembered parts of my past through a recording dream of the fire, I joined the police force and discovered my own strength and determination.
I let out a breath centering myself once more as I prepared for the path before me.
Yes, I could do this.
I may not know what I will find, if I even find anything at all.
But I will try.
And if it does not work out I will build myself a new life here. I have done it before I can do it again. But this time around I will try first, I will try to remember, I will try to find my past self and life.
I have to prepare myself for the possibility that those I have lost may be better off without me, it has been a year. They probably have moved on..Baxter was right. They may not recognize me and except for scattered memories in one very foggy dream I don't remember them.
Either way I will try.
Opening my eyes I turn to Bebop, who sits in the driver's seat as still and silent as me, his gaze distant as he grapples with his own trials.
I make a silent vow that if there is anything I can do to help out him or his friend, I will do it.
Though seeing his pain, his grief almost makes me fear seeking out my own past.
"Thank you Bebop" my voice breaks through the fog around him. "Is there anything I can do"
He shakes his head. "You have my number" he nods toward my backpack which holds the phone he gave me. "And I have yours." he lets out a breath. "I'm going to go meet up with my friends, give them this info and then head to the zoo.." he doesn't finish the sentence.
I wince. I can't imagine living in a zoo, being locked up, put on spectacle for others to see..and knowing that is where his fiend is..
I place a comforting hand on his shoulder, meeting his gaze. "It's going to be okay"
He takes in a shaky breath unable to look away from my eyes for a second.
Nodding my head I turn to open the car door pulling my backpack over my shoulder.
"I guess this is where we say goodbye" part of me hopes he'll change his mind and let me just tag along with him to his friends. But part of me also knows that it's for the best. After all we still have a way to keep in touch if need be. He has things he needs to do and so do I.
"I guess so" Bebop's voice pulls me out of my thoughts. Handing me back my flash drive he pockets his own. I had insisted he copied the digital map, if he was in touch with any other mutants it was best if they at least got a heads up about Baxter.
I step deeper into the alley as I watch him back out and drive away into the predawn light. Pulling my backpack higher on my shoulders I step out into the light. I hold up a hand to block out the sun from my eyes as I look around, unsure of where to go.
For a human with a mutant past who has amnesia I didn't have many leads to go off of.
Donatello, it was the only name I had. I had called him..in my dream. It was still so fresh in my memory. For the last year I had recorded every new detail the recurring dream brought. I thought about that voice on the answering machine, wondered who he was and how I knew him. I kept a tally in my notebook of each time I had the dream. I sketched out every detail for the shell shaped phone and the three fingered green hand holding the phone. A smile crossed my face of all the craziness this newest revelation had brought at least I understood now one major key point. From the first time I had that dream I had known without a doubt that the hand I saw was my own. I had also known that in my dream I was a mutant turtle of all things. The three fingered hand the shell shaped phone it had just added up. Now knowing what I know about Baxter, and the reverse retro-mutanten my dream makes much more sense now. If anything this just confirms that the recurring dream was a memory. My only memory of my past.
I let my thoughts linger on my dream as I make my way down the street just wandering aimlessly as the first streaks of daylight peak over the rooftops of the towering buildings. I smile to myself as I find myself in central park, remembering fondly that day months past where Marcus and I raced through this same park on an epic snowball fight. It was the only time I had been to the city, running an errand for a christmas party. I wrapped my arms around myself letting my thoughts shift away from my dream and to when things had been simpler. My steps stopped as a sudden thought came to me.
Murakami.
Marcus and I went into Mr. Murakami's noodle shop that day. Wet, cold and tired we decided to try out the restaurant Mrs. Tribony recommended. It was the only time since waking up in the hospital that someone had claimed to recognize me. At the time I hadn't thought too much of it because he called me by a different name, but under these new circumstances.
I quickened my pace, changing my direction. I was no longer wandering the city aimlessly because now I had a direction, I had a lead. I needed to get to Murakami's.
Yes, that day the old blind man had recognized me. He recognized my voice. Baxter had been right I had been mutated so no one would recognize how I looked. But Murakami had been blind and he recognized my voice. He called me by name.
Leonardo.
The name rang through my memory like a bell, though from the day I was recalling or from somewhere much deeper I could not tell.
A small smile spread across my face.
Marcus had found it weird when he held my hand, trying to explore through touch what his eyes could not see. He had commented that I had 'two many fingers' 'five not three'. My smile grew larger at the memory that was oh so familiarly with my dream.
Yes things were looking up.
Baxter was right, things had not changed. But I had meant it when I said I would figure something out. I would not give up in my search for my past.
I suddenly remembered something Baxter had once said about his mother, it was an odd thing to think about at a time like this considering but then I couldn't help but recall the words he had said on the bus the day we left New York.
"She was Brave, brave in the way that she seemed fearless but not in the way that she had no fear but more like she wouldn't let fear stop her."
Fearless the word echoed around deep inside for a moment, taking purchase.
That's how I felt right now. Fearless. I was afraid yes. Afraid that I wouldn't find anything about my past. Even more I was afraid of what I would do if I did find something. But more than my fear I was determined not to let my fear stand in the way of what I must do. I was determined, and I had faith and that made me fearless.
In other news, Central Park Zoo is getting a new Rhino this week after a surprise appearance of the wild animal had the residence of a small New Jersey Suburb on edge. Animal control was able to sedate and capture the wild Rhino after a hiker reported the incident to local authorities. Authorities are still uncertain where the animal came from and are assuring the public that they are looking into it. No one was injured and the mysterious Rhino has found a home with Central Park Zoo.
Raph muted the cheery news-caster as the story shifted to climate change. Letting out a yawn the new leader was just considering heading to bed but changed his mind as he heard the familiar sound of the turnstiles. Turning his electric green eyes widened to find a very dazed Bebop standing just outside the entrance to the lair.
"Hey Bebop" Raph rolled his stiff shoulders as he stood heading over.
"Hey" Bebop's voice came out strained and Raph frowned as he took in the burdened posture of the figure in front of him. Raph felt a sickening feeling in his gut. Something was wrong.
"Bebop? Where's Rocksteady?"
