Chapter 40: The Missing Puzzle Piece


"Don't think you're getting away that easy Leo" Raph smirked pointing his sias at me in a playful manner as we sauntered out of the dojo. "Next time I'm gonna beat your but for sure."

"That's what you said last time" I countered with a smug grin. It felt natural like this. Like in our sparring, the blows in our verbal match held no real fire.

Raph let out a scoff, brushing his shoulder against mine as he walked past. "whatever"

I shook my head with a grin on my face as I rotated my shoulder, stretching my mussels.

"Hey fearless, you want to go grab some lunch?" Raph called out from the kitchen. "It looks like Mikey raided the fridge again."

"I told you Raph, until things are more mellowed out we need to cut down on unnecessary trips to the surface."

"Ugg" Raph slammed the fridge door shut, a frown settling on his face as he turned toward me, his arms folded in front of him, looking more like a pouty toddler than a ninja. "This blow! This is so stupid Leo! We're going crazy down here! You got to let us up to breath. We're going to go stir crazy."

Aaaand a temper tantrum, right on track. Aiming to refrain from rolling my eyes I walked over toward the kitchen island and took a seat. It had been about two days now since Raph had been above surface, it was fairly inevitable that he was going to start feeling a little cooped up. I had just optimistically hoped that some one on one sparing would help relieve some of that energy.

"Look Raph, I know you're feeling a little house bound. But we need to hang close to home for now. Donnie's already on a run with April and Casey down at the junkyard. Now if you're really feeling like you need some air, we could go for a run through the sewers, or when Donnie's back we can go grab some pizza." I compromised.

Raph let out a huff looking far from pasified. "Fine"

I let out a breath, I know that my rules had been a little strict lately, and although I know they ruffled Raph's feathers from time to time so far no one had pushed. With recent events still so fresh, I think my brothers understand why I want everyone to travel in pairs. The whole 'no leaving Baxter unattended at home' and 'hanging out with Baxter in pairs' were two more unspoken rules, that were really for my brother's ease than safety honestly. They were more or less enforced by my brothers than me.

"Ahhh" Mikey scrambled over the couch "saaave me!" Mikey screamed as he hid behind Raph. I raised an eyebrow as a peeved Baxter stomped over hands on his hips as he held up what looked like a bedazzled binder.

"Does 'private property' mean anything to you?! What is the point of even bedazzling a binder?" Baxter's question held a strange twist of scandalized wonder. I let out a snicker as I took the purple, pink unicorn decorated binder from Baxter's hands. "It doesn't look like any of the content was messed with '' I observed flipping through it. Washing the amusement off my face I leveled MIkey with a look. "Mikey, this is Donnie's binder. You know he's not going to be happy when he sees this. Donnie and Baxter are using the data in this binder to find a cure for the reverse-retromutagen. How is decorating it with pompoms, glitter and beads exactly helpful? If you want to decorate something, make sure it belongs to you first."

"But dude!" Mikey whined.

I shot Mikey a look. "Your own things Michalaongelo, if I hear you messing with other people's property again, you might have to spend some time without your bedazzler to think about the concept of respecting other people's property."

Ignoring Mikey's scandalized expression and high pitched complaints I ran my hand through my hair. It seems like domestic negotiations had been my main focus this last week. As everyone grew less tense and suspicious around each other, small squabbles, pranks and general cabin fever, has developed. As nice as it's been spending time with all my brothers I've begun to feel a little cabin bound myself.

"You know what we just might all need" a small smile crossed my face interrupting the squabble between Baxter and MIkey, prompted on by Raph's not so helpful input.

"Ahh what?" Mikey asked with a small touch of trepidation in his voice.

"A training run" the idea sounded even better once I spoke it aloud. That's exactly what we need. Team bonding!

"Everyone's getting cooped up and testy as it is. A nice run through the sewers is just what we need to burn off some steam." I went about gathering some necessary supplies in case we ran into trouble, a good ninja is always prepared after all! Hugh, where did that thought come from?

A grin spread across Raph's face at the suggestion.

"Okay fine, but I ain't going slow for these two bozos"

"Hey" Mikey protested, sticking out his tongue. "I can beat you any old day!"

"Oh really" Raph raised an eye ridge, "like to see you try"

Yes, I smiled strapping on my swords over my shoulder, this was exactly what we needed.

"Actually that sounds like a good idea" Baxter smiled, backing up subtly "you three go burn off some steam and I'll stay here."

I shook my head. "Na-uh, eveyones coming Baxter, this is a group bonding activity. We have all been cooped up around here for a while now. A little physical activity won't hurt you. One needs to practice mental, spiritual and physical health to maintain balance."

"I'm a scientist! I can't keep up with ninjas!"

"Tell that to Donnie '' Mikey chirped.

"That's different! He's a scientist and a ninja!" Baxter protested, even as he followed us toward the entrance of the sewers. "If you leave me stranded somewhere in the sewers.." he pointed a not so threatening finger at us.

"Oh chillax, we won't leave you in the sewers." A grin spread across the hothead's face "or will we?"

Mikey giggled, "gotta keep up dogg, if you snooze you lose. Last one to the tunnel congestion came from a can of ooze."

"You came from a can of ooze" Raph called as he raced after Mikey.

Keeping a slower pace following my younger brothers I let out a light chuckle.

Definitely what we needed.


"Oh I think I'm going to puke!" Baxter cried out as he wobbled more than walked into the lair.

Maybe a long run through the seward wasn't the best idea for Baxter.

"Is this what it feels like to die?" The scientist asked, draping his hand dramatically across his forehead before collapsing onto the sofa.

"Well you sure look like death" Raph joked, opening a bottle of water and taking a long drink.

Where the red banded turtle looked only slightly winded from his breakneck race through the tunnels with Mikey, Baxter was a pile of weezing sweet who by the time we reached the lair, (way behind Mikey and Raph at our much slower pace) could barely stand on his own two legs any longer and was begging me to carry him the rest of the way. I had been nice enough to hang back and run more or less at the scientist's pace, (while still racing ahead to check on my younger brothers now and then); but even though I was willing to run slow, I was not going to carry Baxter. If he had just been more active like I constantly prompted him to be, then he would have more stamina for runs like this.

"Dude, your face is as purple as your sweater" Mikey turned his curious blue eyes to me. "Is that a bad sign?"

"Well it ain't a good sign" Raph mumbled.

I let out a sigh, hoisting Baxter onto his unsteady feat. "Put your hands on top of your head" I prompted "walk around a little bit, it will help slow the racing heart." Shooting me a deadly glare the annoyed and out of breath scientist no-less complied. Mumbling and weezing, Baxter started pacing around the lair. I estimated about fifteen minutes before Bax was completely zonked out on the couch and most likely sleeping until dinner.

"I have to admit, that wasn't a half bad idea, Fearless" Raph smirked as he walked by his shoulder bumping into mine.

"Thanks" I rubbed the back of my head, before going into a stretch.

"Now that we're all warmed up, do you guys want to practice some kattas?"

From the kitchen I heard Mikey groan.


It's been a good day. I concluded

Raph indulged me for a half hour before heading off to hang with Chompski, Mikey excused himself from Kata practice practically immediately. I expected this, and reacted accordingly, asking if he was sure he didn't need to burn off any more energy. I didn't want him resorting to pranks out of boredom and restlessness, afterall. Abandoning his bowl full of half full water balloons in the kitchen Mikey promised not pull anymore pranks today and instead ran off to improve his video game scores on Mario kart.

I snickered to myself as I replayed the events of the day in my head. Yes, it has been a good day. It was enjoyable hanging out with Raph, Mikey and Baxter. Although I wish Donnie had been here, I was also glad that the genius was getting to blow off some steam. I'd checked in with him earlier and was expecting the genius home soon with an arm full of supplies, hopefully he'd actually get some sleep tonight instead of diving head into this massive project. I let out a sigh. Out of everyone I understand how important this project is and I have full faith in my brothers, but I'm just afraid of them working themselves to full exhaustion. A snore from the nearby couch pulls me out of my thoughts. Sprawled out on the couch, with one leg hung over the side, his mouth hanging wide open and a blanket draped over him Baxter was sound asleep. I doubted he'd wake up anytime soon. I was more worried about Donnie actually catching more than three hours of sleep tonight.

Changing my course, I headed into the lab. It was weird to see the room without Donnie or Baxter occupying it. It held a different atmosphere without the constant stimulus of activity, it was as if the room lacked the match to ignite the flame of its potential. I shook my head, as I rummaged around looking over Donnie's notes and checking Donnie and Baxter's progress.

They had made the breakthrough to look at the energy component of the serum, focusing on how the reverse retromutagen was transmitted, something about that electric aspect of the process held some sort of key to all this. I tried to follow along but honestly they lost me after 'transmitted', I was just glad to hear they were making progress and that they were working together.

Something in the corner of the room caught my eye. Donnie's lab was by no means as cluttered and chaotic as Baxters, but it was no less full. There were times I'd notice something there I hadn't before. In the far corner of the lab practically shoved into a corner was a strange device that was oddly familiar. I moved aside a few boxes to get to the what-cham-call-it. Grabbing it I couldn't help but wonder why it was buried over here. It looked intact, it didn't look broken at all, nothing seemed wrong with it. It also looked important. And familiar.

I shook my head as I headed over to Donnie's desk taking a seat and turning on the table lamp to examine it further.

"This plasma converter will work wonders at transforming the way energy is transferred! Just imagine the possibilities.."

I shook my head to clear it, looking at the device on the table again in a new light.

Pushing the chair back I stood up to pace, running my hands through my hair. I remembered something. I had actually remembered something! I mean honestly it wasn't much of anything just Donnie standing on a roof holding this..plasma converter. But I had remembered my brothers, from back when I was a turtle. I had seen them all, and I had been there. It was a memory from back before I was mutated back before the fire. I let out a breath. Since being home things were starting to click. I was beginning to feel more resolved in who I was, more sure about myself, like I was uncovering buried pieces of my old self and fitting them with the picture I had created this last year. Slowly and surely building a new picture out of all the scattered pieces of my life.

With my mussel memory and the little habits and tendencies I just felt like I was picking up since coming home, I had hoped that it was only a matter of time before a memory was triggered.

A grin spread across my face. I remembered something.

But that was just one memory and a small one at that. It had taken over a year for this progress. How long until I regained all my memories naturally, if I ever did. My grin faltered.

No, this was progress but I couldn't become unrealistic. My best hope at regaining all my memories still lies with Donnie and Baxter's progress.

I looked back down at the plasma converter. I had a feeling I knew where this new uncovered piece of the puzzle fit.


"Careful with that Casey" the sound of a loud crash echoed through the lair. "I said Careful!" Donnie's voice raised an octave as he cacaed the reckless hockey player who just dumped half of his recently recovered materials all over the lair floor.

"Fine that's fine" Donnie pinched the bridge of his nose trying to steady his breathing.

"Dude take it easy, this junk is heavy!" Casey complained as he started re-gathering the dropped items and taking them to the lab.

"Where do you want this stuff Donnie?" April asked as she walked into the lair, half eyeing the pile that lay precariously half blocking the entrance to the turnstiles.

"In my lab, if you wouldn't mind April, just set it by my table, I'll sort it lair" Donnie absentmindedly answered as he carried his own load into the lab.

"Oh Hey Raph" Donnie greeted passing the redbanded turtle, "would you mind helping me with this? Casey left a pile by the turnstiles"

"Ugg" Raph groaned as he no-less set about half-heartedly gathering the dropped materials. "Mikey get off your lazy shell and help" Raph yelled.

"I'm making Dinner" Mikey's voice answered from the kitchen.

Donnie let out a sigh as he pushed open the door to his lab, making his way toward his desk and dropping the pile in the pre-specified place. Dusting his hands he turned to help Raph with the rest. There wasn't too much to unload, just one or two more trips from the Shellraiser. The trip to the junkyard had been quite a success, they had found many helpful items that would aid in his progress on finding a cure for the reverse-retro-mutagen as well as supplies for many other future projects.

"How much junk did you get Donnie?" Raph grumbled, dropping his load next to the pile.

"There's just two more trips in there Raph, and don't worry I can grab those" Donnie shook his head.

"I just couldn't pass up.." his sentence trailed off as his eyes fell on a piece of machinery he hadn't seen since those dark days long ago.

"Donnie?" Raph asked questionly, halting in his exit at his brother's trailed off sentence.

"How did this get here?" Donnie questioned. He'd stuck that terrible reminder in the back of his lab, where it would no longer be a distraction. Oh it had been such a distraction, if only he'd answered his phone that night..if he hadn't been so caught up in..Donnie shook his head cutting off that train of thought. No. Leo had told him that night had not been his fault. Had assured him that he wouldn't have gotten there on time, even if he had answered his phone that night. The genius let out a shaky breath. Despite his brother's assurance this was a wound that would take time to heal. He understood that his brother did blame him, and didn't even find a reason to blame him. Still the guilt, the regret it lingered. Donnie hoped that with time, this too would heal and he would learn to forgive himself.

"Hey Donnie" Leo greats as he carries an armful of supplies alongside April and Casey. "Looks like you found a lot of helpful stuff" his human brother comments as drops the supplies next to the table.

"That should be the last of it" April comments whipping her hands.

"Thanks April, Casey" His brother turned human responds with an incline of his head. "I really appreciate your helping Donnie today, it looks like you found some useful supplies"

"I hope" Casey rolls his shoulder, "because man that was boring"

April slugs the baller on the other shoulder for the comment.

Raph and Donnie's lack of response to the bicker is noted and April and Casey still as they notice what has drawn the silence.

Pointing at the plasma converter Casey's eyes go wide. "I thought Donnie got rid of that after..." Casey's sentence is cut off by another slug from April.

"Well, we'd better be getting going" April's smile is slightly forced.

"Yeah" Casey rubs his arm catching on.

"Oh really" Leo's blue eyes shoot to the two other humans questionly. "So soon? You sure you don't want to stay for dinner?"

"Thanks for the offer Leo, but really we should get going."

April's eyes meet Donnies, and the genius gives her a grateful look.

The lab grows slightly awkward with the hurried exit of their two human friends, though Leo seems either oblivious or resolved to the situation.

"Leo?" Donnie hesitates to bring up the elephant in the room. Almost wishing to stuff it back into the dark corner where it had been buried before, but part of him feels compelled to ask.

"Where did you find this?"

"Oh" Sapphire eyes dart to the object on the desk. "I was in here earlier looking over your notes" Leo sheepishly rubbed the back of his head tossing his long black hair. "I thought there might be something I could do to help, you've been working yourself so hard lately..and then I saw this in the corner of the lab and i couldn't help.." Leo gave Donnie a sheepish smile as though he'd been caught with his hand in the metaphoric cookie jar. Donnie felt his stomach drop, because Leo had it way wrong. Sharing a look with Donnie, Raph backs out of the room. The hothead understands the strong emotions attached to the object and thus understands that Leo unknowingly unburied a string of emotional turmoil with the machinery.

"Leo.." Donnie cut himself off. He didn't need to open that can of worms. He'd just shove that stupid reminder back into the dark corner where it belongs, or better yet throw it out for good like he should have done all that time ago!

"It's broken" he said instead, refusing to meet his brother's eyes instead staring down at the object that had distracted him that night. He'd been so preoccupied with this new discovery that he hadn't gone on patrol with his brother, hadn't heard his phone when it rang, hadn't been there for his brother when he needed him most.

"But it's not Donnie" The genius's head shot up to meet the concerned gaze of knowing sapphire blue.

No.

"It's not broken, Donnie, in fact it's quite intact. I'm no scientist but I know enough to know how valuable that is. So the question is, why was it buried with the junk as though you intended to throw it away but just quite haven't gotten that far yet?"

Donnie felt as though he'd been struck. There was no way Leo understood what he was saying, could grasp at the truth hidden behind the question. Yet here his brother was looking at him with those deep sapphire eyes that seemed to level him with a look, as though he could see right through him.

Donnie closed his eyes.

"Donnie?" Leo's concerned voice asked.

No

No!

"It's Broken Leo!" Donnie shouted.

Leo let out a breath walking over to encompass his brother in a tight hug.

"No its not Otōto, no its not"

'Oh Aniki" Donnie let the first of his held back tears slip past, grabbing and holding his older brother tight.

Leo stroked Donnie's head soothingly. "Oh Otōto" he squeezed Donnie tighter. "You need to let this go. I already told you it wasn't your fault."

Donnie pulled back at that meeting his brother's eyes.

"When I saw this" he gestured to the object. "I remembered" Leo took a breath. "I remembered when we found it that night" Donnie's breath caught in his throat.

"It was a patrol run," Leo continued. "You went home to test out the..plasma converter. I decided to patrol Shredder's old stomping grounds" Leo's sapphire eyes seemed to bore into his. "It's not healthy to hold onto this pain, Donetello. Please know none of this was your fault. Do you understand me Donnie? None of this was your fault."

"How come you don't blame me?!" He yelled. Tears clouded the genius turtle's eyes. His brother knew, he remembered, why wasn't he angry or hurt or..

"Because there's nothing to blame." Leo stated simply staring into Donnie's eyes. "I would never blame you. I know you'd do whatever you could to have saved me that night. But there was nothing you could have done." Leo took a breath. "No one blames you, Donnie, except yourself. Please learn to forgive yourself!. Let this go."

Nodding mutley, Donnie grabbed at his now smaller human brother and held him tight, letting the tears pour down. He should have known this would come up again. It was bound to. It was still a fresh wound that needed to heal.

After a few long minutes of the two brothers just holding each other up, of letting the tears pour Donnie pulled back whipping at his mahogany eyes.

"Okay" he answered shakily, "I'll try"

Leo nodded, smiling.

A nagging voice in the back of his mind prompted the genius to ask. "But Leo, why bring this up? If you remember what the plasma converter is and know it's connected to that night, why did you unbury it?"

"Because, it needed to be unburied. This is evidently something you've been holding onto for far too long Donetello. A burden that is hurting you that you need to let go of." His eldest brother took a breath letting the words sink in. "Besides that it's also another piece to the puzzle."

It wasn't also something you've been holding onto that you need to let go, it's also another piece to the puzzle."

Shooting his brother a questioning glance at the statement "what do you mean by that?"

"Donnie you told me that the plasma converter will 'work wonders at transforming the way energy is transferred'"

The genius shrugged, lost at his brother's reasoning.

Leo sighed. "What was the breakthrough you and Baxter had the other day?"

Donnie let out a sigh "We discovered that the key is focusing on the electric aspect of the reverse-retromutagen. To reverse its effects we need to focus on how the mutagen is transferred." Donnie stated simply.

Leo smiled waiting for the coggs of Donnie's brain to catch the connection to recognize where the missing puzzle piece fit.

Donnie's eyes widened as realization hit. "No..but that would mean.." Leo watched wordlessly as Donnie stumbled around the lab grabbing out materials he needed, re-reading back through his notes and talking aloud to himself as he made new connections with the uncovered evidence. Occasionally he dug into the pile of new supplies and for the most part Leo just stepped aside as the genius worked, practically oblivious to his brother's presence as his genius brain worked to solve the old perplexing equation with the new added variable.

"Engerty, the key is transmitting energy! I didn't know how to change the way energy was converted. That was where Stockman and I got stuck. We understand the process energy plays in how the Reverse-Retromutagen works-how individuals are mutated but to reverse the effects the first step would be changing the transformation of energy and.." The genius spun around his wide excited smile showing the gap in his teeth. "Leo, do you understand what this means?!"

Leo just smiled knowingly.

"This plasma converter really is the missing puzzle piece" Donnie mused to himself as he went about trying to connect the new found revelation to the existing progress he and Stockman had made. With trepidation at first Donnie plugged the plasma converter into the sample machine he and Baxter had built, but as the device swirled to life the reluctance on Donnie's face lessened.

Yes, Leo thought to himself as he stepped out of the lab. Sometimes all it takes is a step backwards to move forwards. The leader had been hesitant about bringing up the plasma converter recognizing the painful memories the item held but knowing that it was the key, the missing puzzle piece, to ultimately moving forward.


Author's Note: The puzzle pieces are close to falling back together now. I loved writing this chapter, even though it was difficult at points with all the emotional feels. I promise I do plan on finishing this story, I have not forgotten about it. It's just life has been really busy right now. Just graduated and am looking for work. It's a lot! Sometimes I'm tired of being a responsible adult, I just want to sit back and write!

Anyway..I will finish this story eventually. Just have some patience with me. Also, you may need to bug me from time to time. Honestly, I love reading your comments, reviews and thoughts. So please feel free to comment, suggest or critique.