Edgar had officially been back for 4 weeks, and Olivia still hadn't found a way to say much to him especially after the other not when she texted him saying I want you. Oh, they talked about little things, mainly work and how to treat them, but there was no substance, no warmth, to their conversations, and it was slowly eating away at Olivia's soul.

It didn't help, either, that everyone saw fit to comment on their lack of communication at every turn, and Olivia found herself on edge most days, looking forward to occasional glimpses of Edgar. And then, one day, right before they were to step into the interview room, Edgar had turned and looked at her, his gaze seeming to search her soul for an answer that Olivia wasn't giving. She felt pinned by the look, and so missed when Edgar opened his mouth to speak. "I thought that you had moved beyond anger," was all he said before shoving his way into the room and leaving Olivia in the dust.

She took a step back from the team and watched Edgar work. There were no gentle looks exchanged that time, no tender smiles, and Olivia's heart broke a little when she began to realise the magnitude of hurt that her stubborn pride had caused. She was the one to linger after the interview had finished, hoping that Edgar would stay behind as well, since she finally thought she could start dismantling the barrier between them, brick by brick. Instead, Edgar had just looked at her, shook his head, and stormed from the room, never sparing her a second glance.

"Did you really expect things to be anything other than this after the way you have treated him lately?" Fin asked, not unkindly, but still reminding her of her shortcomings Olivia shrugged as she struggled to keep her emotions under lock and key, to not break down in front of him, and she screwed her eyes closed when Fin rested his hand on her shoulder.

The first tear rolled down her cheek as she pulled away from Fin and hurried from the room. Sonny tried to stop her, but she shook her head as she went to escape to the one safe space she had left..

The first thing she was aware of when she took a seat on the roof was how bloody cold it was. It shouldn't have surprised her, since it was the beginning of December, but a cutting wind whipped around her body, driving into her pores like sharp needles. And though she knew tears were useless, she let them fall down her cheeks, knowing that she needed to get the sorrow out of her system before she returned to her office..

"Fin mentioned that you often go to the roof when you have no peace in your heart. He wanted one of us to go after you, and I volunteered. I figured you might need a strong shoulder to cry on."

She let out a watery laugh as she roughly drew the palms of her hands across her eyes to clear them of tears. "What I really need is Edgar. But I think that I might have finally fucked up enough so as to never have a chance at that again. My one chance at love, and poof, it's gone like chaff on the wind, because I'm too bloody stubborn to actually talk to him. I can talk about him, to everyone else, it seems, but that's just not good enough. I'm just not good enough."

"Liv you wouldn't be crying so much if you didn't care. All it takes is being humble enough to admit that you were wrong and telling him as much."

"Oh, I wish it was that easy, Sonny, I really do. But when you've reached my age, pride is sometimes all that we have left."

He patted her shoulder gently before offering her a tissue Olivia gave him a grateful smile as she cleaned up her face before standing once more. "I might not be particularly religious, but I do seem to remember my catechism teacher telling me, all too often, that pride goeth before the fall. And I think I speak for both Edgar and myself when I say that neither of us want to see you fall."

She nodded her head sharply before starting to make her way back to the squad room. Sonny followed her closely, his hand hovering against the small of her back, as if he would catch her if she stumbled. It was a kind gesture, one she didn't deserve, and one that made Olivia's heart a touch lighter.

The minute she was back in her office, Olivia buried herself in paperwork, knowing that if she said anything to anyone, she could very well break down again, and she was not about to have that happen, not again. And so, she filed and wrote emails and did all the things that she had to catch up on, not even glancing at Edgar when he came and went from the office, even if she smiled every time.

The hours passed swiftly, and as he closed down his system, he found himself anxious for Olivia to return and get her things. When she did walk in, Edgar let his face light up in eagerness, ready to finally say anything that would get them on the same page again.

The look on Olivia's face once more had his words turning to ash, and he felt tears well up in his eyes once more to see that tears stained his cheeks. "Olivia…"

"I, I have to go," she said as she collected her things, not sparing him a second glance. "I'll see you in the morning?"

Olivia!

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