Whether a curse or a blessing, Christmas seemed like it was going to be a quiet affair for Eddward this year.
It wasn't until the day of Christmas Eve that he was told all his efforts and hard work was for naught; his parents had decided last minute that they'd rather boost their personal relationships at a work related party somewhere nice and warm in comparison to their personal image with their son; he was old enough that by giving him independence, they showed a healthy level of trust and respect.
When his mother had called, they had both made a point to say they'd be there in time for his birthday and they loved him and were proud of what he's accomplished this year; someone else must've been nearby. While never cruel, they never expressed affection unless to show others how they loved their (trophy) son.
A feeling of bitter resentment started growing evermore.
The blessing to all of this was that Edd no longer had to cater to them and could instead take the next few days off; like every year, he had done everything necessary so that he would have been able to give his parents all of his undivided attention whenever they wished. It wasn't a constant thing, but it varied every year how much and when; it was simply easier to give himself three days off from most of his chores and research, rather try to get things done when they weren't looking.
Not to mention the disappointment that he didn't have everything done, and was spreading his work over several days like a normal person, rather than cramming it all in short periods of time.
So, Edd didn't have to do any of that this year- which felt both nice and terrifying. Nice because he couldn't recall that last time he had more than half a day off, and during that time he normally spent his time with Eddy and Ed.
Terrifying because Eddy and Ed were busy with their families- they weren't even in town- and he had no one or nowhere to go but to stay in his big, empty house. Being alone was usually fine because he was busy with work, but he purposely made it so he would have three days off, and he didn't like messing with his set schedules; it gave him an uncomfortable feeling of wrongness.
It only took a few moments for Edd to finally (and uneasily) decide to spend his free time catching up on some books. They were purely fictional, so they had been sitting on his shelves for a few years now. Every few days when he dusted them, his eyes looked at the spines mournfully.
Though, it was less because he wasn't able to read them, and more because he no longer felt the drive or excitement to read them.
Yes, empty exhaustion still settled at the idea of reading, but nothing else really felt that much fulfilling. He only watched movies or played games with Ed and Eddy; doing it alone just felt… wrong.
Everything felt wrong, but he had to push forward regardless.
A niggling temptation to crawl into bed and sleep- god, he hadn't slept well in forever it seems like- was there in the back of his mind, but he ignored it, pushing it away. Like his current situation, that idea was both a fantasy and a nightmare. To be able to rest and do nothing, but to be too idle and useless...
Reading felt a little more productive and safe on his poor, ragged mind.
With a tired sigh, Edd surveyed his one other problem; all the food he had prepared. It wasn't a full dinner quite yet, and he could put the ingredients away until a later date. Eating it all himself was an option, but quite frankly that just filled him with dread. Despite hardly eating, he felt disgustingly full at the idea of even just spreading it throughout his winter break.
Normally when Edd had too much food he didn't want to eat, he just gave it to Ed and Eddy, sometimes other classmates who showed interest in what he made. But, none of that was viable right now, and he wasn't close enough to any of the Cul-de-sac kids to offer it to them-
Wait.
...There was Kevin- their… friendship was weird, but it was still a friendship. One that even Eddy was begrudgingly respecting (mostly because he actually knew how stubborn Edd was, and that he wouldn't budge on this). There was a possibility that he would accept all the food that the genius wanted to be rid of, and he was at least going to ask.
The longer he stood there with the smell of delicious food, the more he felt utterly sick. He wanted it gone, but throwing it away and wasting was more of a last ditch effort. It was just… too much.
(And it wasn't made for him; he put time and effort into it to please his parents for their image. He was their perfect son, who cooked them a perfect meal, and it was all for their image and he would receive not an ounce of affection. The thought of eating the food made for his parents' status made him angry and sad and hurt and- so very sick to the stomach. He couldn't eat it- he wouldn't.)
Before the anxiety of bothering Kevin could consume him, Edd allowed his disgust for the food to carry him outside his house. He was just finishing zipping up his jacket when he found himself across the street, in front of his childhood bully's door.
Now that anxiety was starting to settle, and chewing his lip, Edd wondered if he should really bother him. It was Christmas Eve, no doubt the redhead had other things in mind or planned- though it was possibly early enough he hadn't actually left yet. From what Edd observed during his free time, the cul-de-sac kids who stayed often took Christmas Eve as the day to sleep in, since Christmas morning was often for waking up early to receive presents.
(Something Edd had participated in for the last few years.)
Just as Edd was starting to feel too guilty for coming to dump his food on the other boy, the door opened- just as he was backing off. Well, now that he was caught, no point in turning back.
Straightening his stance and offering a polite smile, Edd greeted the bewildered looking Kevin. "Good morning, Kevin!"
"...'Sup, dork?" Kevin must be wondering why Edd would be standing on his doorstep- not for the first time ever, but circumstances were definitely different compared to the past. "It's like… 9 in the morning on Christmas Eve, what're you doing up and so… chipper?" He squinted, and Edd could understand.
He was still dressed in pajamas, a hood thrown on seemingly at the last minute, given how one side wasn't completely smoothed out and it wasn't even zipped up yet. Must've been just to open the door that he pulled it on.
"Ah, well, I found out I'll be alone for Christmas this year at the least minute-" he saw Kevin's face shutter to pity and his mouth open, so the smartest Ed bulldozed further, not wanting anyone's pity. "And I'm the one in charge of cooking for my family and I, and whatever guests may be over. As that is no longer the case, I find myself with too much food I can't eat on my own."
Kevin, realizing where this was going, nodded. "Why not ask the Dorkos?"
"Ed and Eddy have left for winter break; neither of them will be back for another week or so."
Something else seemed to dawn on Kevin, as he furrowed his brows. "So wait- you mean to say you're just going to be alone the whole break? No family or other friends to hang with?"
"Ah, no, I'm not a social creature by any means, and the only family I'm really close with are my own parents. The only time I visit my other relatives is with them." He shifted his stance, putting weight on the other foot. "It's quite alright; I'm actually going to be busy again after Christmas passes, so being alone won't bother me. It's quite relaxing not to have Eddy bothering me when he knows I have chores and work I need to do."
Edd loved his friend, but for all his understanding and respect, he could still be quite selfish when it came to telling Edd to ignore his responsibilities.
With an expression that was mysterious to the smart boy, Kevin looked away, pursing his lips contemplatively. They stood there for perhaps a minute of silence, but before Edd could ask what he was thinking about, or tell him nevermind, sorry for being a bother, Kevin finally turned back to him.
Though, he seemed to have a little trouble meeting his eyes.
"Hey, remember when we talked about playing games?"
Visibly caught off guard, Edd blinked. "Yes? What about it?"
Looking shy and awkward, Kevin rubbed the back of his neck. "What if… I come over- I'll be clean, I promise- and we can eat and play games together, yeah? I'm free 'til dinner tonight, and then I'll be busy until tomorrow evening, but Nazz and Rolf are gone for a few days too, and I don't really hang with the other guys during break unless they're there."
"Won't your family miss you?" It wasn't a secret to Edd that while he and Kevin were both only children, they had very different family dynamics.
Whereas Edd only knew his parents, vaguely recalling a distant uncle or aunt and no cousins off the top of his head, Kevin's family was big and boisterous; full of love and affection. Some holidays he had his grandparents, uncles and aunts, and cousins visiting and they'd take up the front and backyard; even from inside his home, he'd hear their merry laughter and proud love for their family from the lonely room where he was bent over his desk, eyes burning as he tried to reread the same passage but exhaustion made the english language seem too foreign.
Personally, if he had a family like that, he thinks he'd want to spend all his time with them. It seemed almost like a fairytale-like dream to the boy, and to toss it away seemed blasphemous to him.
Kevin's expression softened, a lazy little grin on his face. "Nah; I don't really have anyone my age. I don't mind playing with my cousins for a bit or talking to my grandparents, but I actually end up just kinda standing around awkwardly if I don't go to my room myself. Love them, but I'll see them again. I think spending my time with a friend would beat just hiding out in my room all alone, you know?"
Maybe it was because Edd really was lonely and didn't want to spend the next few days miserable and unproductively fighting with himself on what he should do, or maybe it was because Kevin outright called him a friend, but he found he couldn't really argue against that.
In fact, he found that he really wanted that.
"Oh… if… if you'd like to, then, I think that would work out for us both. When do you think you'll come over then? I'd like to give you time to wake up a little more."
Kevin blinked, before looking down at how he was still rather disheveled, a blush overtaking his features while straightening out the more insane rumples, Edd snickering behind his hand.
"Probably around noon, if that's cool with you, Double Dweeb." Kevin tried to sound indifferent and standoffish, but Edd only smiled warmly in response.
"That'll be fine. Just ring the doorbell when you do; I'll see you then." He bid the other boy farewell, turning and hastily making his way back home.
What an unexpected, but joyous turn of events.
Letting out a sigh, Kevin let out a breath before going back upstairs; the real reason he wanted to wait a few more hours was so he could doze a bit, socialize with his coming family to a point he wasn't being rude and neglectful of him.
However, before he made it up the stairs, his mother's voice caught him.
"That's a nice offer you made to Eddward, dear." She stepped out of the kitchen, drying her hands off her apron. It had given him the illusion of privacy, but he knew that his mother just had a knack for hearing everything.
Actually, she just seemed to have a knack for knowing everything about his life, even if he didn't say anything. She just said it was mother's intuition, but he and his dad liked to joke that she was a witch or fortune teller, and she consulted a crystal ball to learn their secrets.
Ultimately, he didn't mind; he liked having her council or support.
"I mean, he's the one offering me food." Kevin muttered, stepping off the step and following her into the kitchen. Already, she made him a cup of warm tea with honey- his favorite second to Hot Chocolate. "And… we've been getting along okay- I ended up at his house after a party once and we talked about games and stuff. I've been wanting to actually play with him, but school and stuff just kept getting in the way."
She hummed, nodding. "Well, still; no child should have to spend Christmas alone, but I doubt his parents really care much for this." The bitterness in her tone grabbed Kevin's attention, and all it took was one questioning look for her to sigh.
"Of course I've met his parents, Kevin. When they moved into the house across the street, I wanted to give them a warm welcome, but also see what kind of people would be joining our little cul-de-sac. If they were bad or good, that sort of thing. And they're… cold. They'll smile politely enough, but it's so clear when they think something is beneath them." Her frown only deepened, and the woman leaned over to whisper as if sharing a deep secret. "And… I think they believe their son is beneath them."
"What? Why? He's the most accomplished when it comes to grades and stuff- like we all know he's gonna be valedictorian next year, no question about it. And he's like, really nice and volunteers for stuff." While they may not be best friends or anything, Kevin could give credit where it was due. Academics meant little to him, but it clearly meant something to Edd, and clearly he excelled in it.
His mother sighed again, sadness evident. "I don't know, Kevin. But I've never seen them in any school events; the older he gets, the less they come by, I think. They're some big-wig scientists who work in business, and they clearly care a lot about their professional image- moreso than their own child. It happens, and it's always sad to see. I've done my best to be a friendly face to Eddward, but as he's gotten older, I think he's started to pick up on their distance routine."
Kevin bit his lip, thinking back on forced smile and constant polite attitudes, to a point of feeling stiff and unnatural and unapproachable. If the double dork was picking up on it, it wasn't for the same reasons, Kevin thought.
"Anyways, I have to finish breakfast before your dad wakes up. You should get cleaned up before your cousins start getting here so you can go." She gave him that warm, proud smile. "I know you haven't always liked Eddward or his friends, but I'm proud of you. You constantly remind me of what a good man you're going to grow into, and it makes your father and I so proud to call you our son."
Being reminded of their love and pride always made him feel like he was unstoppable, and he felt even more sure of his actions.
For sure, he wouldn't let them down.
Aha, I'm not dead! I'm just… really tired and dealing with life stuff, so I don't have a ton of time to write. But I'm not abandoning this story if I can help it, especially since this is a subject and side of the boys I'd love to explore.
Anyways!
Here we see more of Edd suffering- note this is a couple months in from the beginning of the story, as that was around (early?) November and now we're in Christmas, nearly the end of the year. The feelings he has are festering, but they're going to grow every time I do a bigger jump and stuff.
Kevin's family has had a role since the beginning; both to display the exact opposite of Edd's family and showcase just what he's lacking in stunning clarity, but also to be spectators to not only Edd and Kevin, but as adults, to Edd's parents and their growing neglect and pressure.
Sorry for the little rambling; hope y'all are doing well! I'll be back again one day LOL
