Dissimulation

Chapter 9: The Womb

Tidus's mouth dropped and his eyes widened, "Wha?"

"I'm pregnant," Yuna repeated. She started playing with her food on her plate.

"No, I heard you the first time, but Yuna, come on. We just made love this morning, I don't think it happens that fast," Tidus whispered.

"Typical Tidus," Yuna grumbled to herself. Always trying to bring a joke into something that is actual serious. This is another life they are bringing in together. A fact that will not be easily accepted by everyone. Yuna was unsure if children born out of wedlock was easily accepted in his Zanarkand, but in Spira, it was a major taboo. Yuna was just hoping that the world would overlook the fact that she is about ready to have a child out of wedlock, considering she just rid the world of Sin.

"Tidus, this is not the time to joke," Rikku interjected.

"I have known since right before you disappeared," Yuna explained.

Tidus dropped his fork and leaned back in thought. "So, that means we conceived the night in the cave. How the fuck is that possible?!" Tidus thought to himself. His stomach suddenly felt heavy and sick. If he was a so-called dream, then how was he able to reproduce. The strange figure he had encountered in the dream world came to mind. Was there a connection somehow? He felt like he should be overjoyed over the thought of having a child, but Tidus couldn't help but think this was not a cause for a celebration.

"Finally getting somewhere," a familiar voice said suddenly. Tidus felt his face turn pale. He knew that this figure was somehow involved. He just couldn't figure out if he was bad or good. "Oh, I am good, don't you worry. Just need some more time."

"Tidus, are you okay?" Rikku asked, shaking Tidus back to reality. Tidus looked over at Yuna, her eyes were watering as if she was about ready to cry.

"What? Oh, yeah, sorry. I think I need some fresh air," Tidus said shakily. He stood up and walked out of the cafeteria.

"What the fuck?!" Yuna exclaimed. Her face was red with anger and tears started rolling down her face.

Rikku's eyes widened in shock, "Woah!" Rikku had to admit, she had never heard Yuna curse before, nor would she ever thought Yuna was capable of cursing. Tidus's reaction was very strange, however, and in Yuna's words, a little bit fucked up. Something was going on with him. His outburst was still fresh in her mind.

"Why is nobody happy about this baby except for me?!" Yuna cried out. She buried her head into her hands and started sobbing loudly. The few Al Bhed that were in the cafeteria with them all turned their heads toward the sobbing summoner.

"Yuna, I think something is going on with him. He is not acting like himself," Rikku told her.

"I don't understand! He was a part of this just as much as I was! He needs to take some damn responsibility! What is this a joke?!" Yuna screamed. She pounded her hands on the table. Her pregnancy emotions were coming into effect.

"Yuna, please, you need to calm down," Rikku urged. She attempted to place her hands on Yuna's shoulder, but Yuna forcefully brushed them off her.

"Just leave me alone! I need time to think!" Yuna growled. The tears started pouring down her face again and she quickly ran out of the cafeteria.

"Oh pregnancy," Rikku grumbled to herself. Why was everything so messed up? This was supposed to be a time of celebration. Sin was finally gone for good and peace had finally fell onto the land. Instead, everyone was mad at each other. Not to mention Tidus's very odd behavior. Rikku sighed and plopped down at the dining room table, her head pounding. She hoped everything would calm down soon…

Tidus's lungs felt like they were going to explode by the time he finally was able to run out on the deck of the Fahrenheit. He quickly ran over to the edge of the airship as hot bile began to boil up his throat. He leaned over and started retching up the little bit of breakfast he had.

"Feel better?"

Tidus stood up, wiping his mouth. "What do you want and why are you in my head?!"

"I told you, you will know who I am in time. I am not strong enough yet to reveal myself."

"Not strong enough?! What the fuck is that supposed to mean?!" Tidus yelled angrily.

"Now, now, no reason to shout. What if someone hears?"

"I really don't give a fuck!" Tidus yelled.

"Oh, I would be careful if I were you. People are already starting to become suspicious of you."

"Suspicious?! Suspicious of what?! Oh wait, you mean whatever the heck I have been doing during these blackouts? I have a sneaking suspicion that you may be the cause," Tidus growled.

"I may or may not have something to do with it."

Tidus fell to his knees and placed his head into his hands. He felt lost and like he was starting to lose control of his life. This was supposed to be a time of celebration. He was going to have a baby, for goodness sakes. A baby with a woman that he loved more than he loved life itself. Yuna was everything to him, but since he returned, he couldn't help but feel like he was putting her in danger. He was not himself and he couldn't figure out why. Whatever was inside of him was dangerous and he would never live with himself if he ever hurt Yuna. "Maybe it was best if I just stayed in the dream world," Tidus whispered.

"No, you need to be here," the voice told Tidus. "And don't worry about Yuna, she is essential to the plan as well. I will not do anything to hurt her."

Tidus raised his head and looked out of the horizon. He could feel the anger boiling inside of her. So, she was part of whatever scheme this nut job was planning. "I don't want Yuna to have any part of this! You can do whatever you want with me, but please, keep her out of it!" Tidus screamed.

"Now, now, no need to get upset with me."

"Upset?! You are threatening the woman I love and I am not supposed to not get upset?!"

"Whoa, did you not hear what I just said?

"I don't want her involved at all," Tidus growled through clenched teeth.

"Well I really don't think you have much say in the matter." "Now, if you excuse me, I am going to rest for a little bit. I suggest you go and find Yuna and reassure her after your little episode. I don't think she appreciated your reaction. And don't even think about doing anything stupid, like say killing yourself or telling Yuna about me, it is for your own good."

Tidus felt the presence start to fade away in his mind. His nerves were twisted into knots and his stomach was rolling. He felt like vomiting again and he probably would have if he had anything left in his stomach. He wasn't sure what was worse, being alone in the dark dream world or being here alive, with some sort of ticking time bomb in his head. All he wanted was to live a normal, happy life with the woman he loved, but it didn't seem like that was going to be possible.

Tidus felt like it probably was better if he never came back. He wouldn't be a danger to anyone, especially to Yuna and his unborn child. Now it was too late. He was here and he had a feeling that this thing wouldn't let him run away or try and end it all. He felt like he has lost complete control.

"You haven't lost control," a very different, but familiar voice said suddenly. Tidus spun around to find a familiar boy floating behind him.

"I thought you were all resting," Tidus said.

"Our connection to this world will never be severed completely, in case we are needed again," the boy explained.

Tidus's heart sank, "So I take it you guys have returned to protect Spira from me?"

"I never said that," the boy replied.

"Yeah, well nothing is making sense right now and I hope you have a better idea of what is going on than I do," Tidus grumbled. Somehow, he had a feeling they had just as good idea as he did.

"We were awakened by you returning from the dream world. How and why you returned we have not been able to answer. We were hoping you would have a better idea," the boy explained.

"So, you can't explain to me why…." Tidus started to say, but he fell to his knees as his head started burning with severe pain.

"DO NOT SAY ANOTHER WORD!" the voice hissed in Tidus's mind. Tidus screamed in agony from the blinding pain that was pulsing through his head. "The fayth cannot know about me!"

The boy's face wrinkled with worry, "Are you ok? What is happening?"

The blinding pain began to relax and Tidus took a deep breath to try and regain his composure. "Sorry about that, just had a bit of a stress headache," Tidus lied.

They boy didn't look convinced, "You would tell me if you knew anything, right?"

"I just want to know what is going on," Tidus grumbled.

"Well, we may be able to figure it out if you give us more information," the boy explained.

Tidus felt the headache begin to pulse again in the back of his head. Tidus knew it was the being giving him a small warning about releasing any more information. The fact that he didn't want the fayth knowing that he didn't want to know of his existence gave Tidus more reason of concern.

"The fayth will only hinder our plan," The voice warned. "They don't need to get them involved."

Tidus felt extremely conflicted. He wanted to tell the fayth about the person that currently resides in his head, but he knew if he mentioned any word, it would result in a blinding headache or worse, another blackout. He wished he knew a way he could push the body so far back in his subconscious that the being would not be able to control him. The being knew how to do it, so why couldn't he?

"I don't know any more than you," Tidus told the fayth. "I just know Yuna is pregnant with my child, which should not be possible."

"Weren't you afraid that you are a danger to Yuna and Spira, though?" the boy asked.

"Well yes, because clearly I am not who I or you thought I was," Tidus said.

"No, but we will figure this out, but you cannot withhold information from us," the fayth said.

"I would tell you if I could, trust me," Tidus grumbled to himself. This resulted in a slight burning in his head.

"In any case, we must go now. If you find out anything, just call us and let us know," the boy told Tidus.

"Thank you," Tidus said. The boy nodded and slowly faded away.

Tidus's body suddenly felt heavy and tired. Suddenly the cold, dark dream world was more welcoming then his current situation. He never felt so alone and confused in his life. Even when his father disappeared and his mother turned into an emotionless shell.

He wanted to just crawl into Yuna's arms and forget everything, but he wasn't sure he could even be around her anymore. He would not be able to live with himself if he hurt Yuna. The being promised that it wouldn't hurt Yuna, but Tidus didn't want to risk that chance.

He looked over the side of the airship. Everything would just end if he jumped. He would no longer be around, but Yuna would have a safe and happy life raising their child. Maybe she would find a new, better husband, and have many more children.

Tidus took a step towards the edge. It may hurt Yuna now, but at least Tidus knew she would be safe and find happiness in the end. She would no longer be a danger to her. He took another step. One more step and he would fall into the deep blue ocean below. When he came to this world, he was born in the ocean, so it only made sense that he would die in the ocean as well.

"Tidus!" a female voice called suddenly.

Tidus turned around to find Yuna standing behind him, a very worried look plastered on her face. Tidus suddenly felt his head burn and the world turn black…