Dissimulation

Chapter 10: Confidence

Yuna felt the color completely drain from her face as she watched Tidus begin to step closer and closer to the edge. Was he trying to end his life? Did him being a father scare him that much that he had to take his own life? She felt her throat tighten and hot bile start to rise in her throat. Yuna quickly took a deep breath and swallowed the bile down. "Tidus!" she managed to call out.

Tidus paused for a second and then turned to face Yuna. A smile started to creep up his lips as he held out his arms, inviting Yuna in for a hug. Yuna took a step back and shook her head, "Were you just trying to kill yourself?"

"What? Oh no, I thought I saw something below and wanted to get a better look," Tidus responded. He slowly brought his arms down, looking a little offended that Yuna refused to accept his embrace. "Sorry if that is what it looked like."

"Well, I don't know what to think, considering your reaction to my current situation," Yuna growled. She felt the tears start to roll down her face once again. "Damn pregnancy hormones!" she muttered to herself.

"Oh, yeah, sorry about that. The news came as a bit of a shock. Didn't think it was possible," Tidus chuckled. He ruffled the back of his hair with his hand, obviously nervous. "I just needed some fresh air and a little time to think," he continued.

"Tidus, I love you so much and I want this child more than anything in this world, but I don't think you understand the situation the both of us are in currently," Yuna said.

Tidus walked towards Yuna and placed his hands on her shoulders, "I am sorry, Yuna. I love you so much and I cannot wait to bring this child into the world with you." "I just didn't think this was possible, after all, I am not exactly real," Tidus continued.

Yuna pushed his arms off her shoulders and walked towards the edge of the airship, her eyes focusing on the horizon. "I don't know why or how it happened and honestly I don't really care. All I know is that it happened and now I need to face the world with my sin. I don't know how it is in your Zanarkand, but a child born out of wedlock is not something that is taken lightly here in Spira. I don't know how the world is going to react and I can't face this alone," Yuna explained.

Tidus pulled her into a tight embrace from behind. Yuna closed her eyes accepting his warmth. The situation eerily reminded Yuna the moment right before he disappeared. This very spot was where she stood when he attempted to wrap his arms around her shoulders. Instead of the comfort of his warm touch, she felt nothing but cold nothingness as the pyreflies started to dance around them, slowly taking him away from her. Now here they were, standing in the same spot, but instead of cold, she felt nothing but warmth, her heart racing with his slightest touch.

The moment her father had accepted the final summoning and sacrificed himself to bring the calm, Yuna knew that she wanted to follow her father's footsteps. As a result, she never even imagined or dreamed of falling in love, getting married, or starting a family. Yet, she managed to accomplish two of the three.

When she and Tidus made love for the first time, she was still on the track of receiving the Final Summoning and sacrificing herself to bring Spira the Calm. She didn't really think about the possibly getting pregnant or the sin she had just done. What had taken place between them was very special and she wouldn't have done anything differently even now. At that moment, she was ready to take that secret to grave. Never in her life did she think she would be in the current situation.

In all honesty, she was scared. The world looked up to her and celebrated her. She wasn't prepared to face the disappointment that was sure to come. It was hard enough to receive it from Lulu and Wakka, now she was sure to receive it from her peers. She thought she was going to have to do it alone, but now the love of her life was here, holding her from behind.

Yet, she wasn't exactly sure if he was prepared for this or even had her back. His reaction after finding out she was pregnant was still fresh in her mind, as was him walking towards the edge of the airship. Yuna pulled away from his arms and turned to face Tidus, "Are you prepared to face this?" she asked.

Tidus placed his hands on her shoulders and his crystal blue eyes met Yuna's. Yuna felt herself become lost in his stare. "Yuna, it will be okay. You just conquered Sin and brought the Eternal Calm. I think they can overlook the fact that you are pregnant," Tidus told her.

Yuna shook her head, "I don't think it is that easy." Yuna really wished it were true, but Yuna wasn't sure if Tidus really knew how conservative Spira was.

"Yuna, I think you are worrying too much. We didn't do anything wrong. We are in love with each other and did something that two people in love do. We shouldn't be judged by that," Tidus said.

Yuna wish what he was saying was true, but sins like two of them committed was and is still believed to be the reason why Sin had terrorized their world for a thousand years. Although Yuna and her Guardians discovered the hypocrisy behind Yevon, the rest of Spira have not been told the truth.

Yevon's teachings were the only way of life the people of Spira have ever known. To ask them to abandon their way of life and accept what Yuna and Tidus have done was just not going to happen. After the use of machina, sex before marriage and a child born out of wedlock was one of the biggest taboos. If the rule was broken, you would find yourself exiled from Yevon and your family, baby and all.

"Tidus, things are different here than they are in your Zanarkand." Yuna explained. "Yevon's teachings just don't allow it and it is a huge no-no. I don't think you understand."

"But we know that Yevon is bogus," Tidus replied.

"Yes, but the rest of the world doesn't know that," Yuna told him. "Yevon's teachings are what they know and have known for the last thousand years. They are going to be very lost if they learn the hypocrisy behind the religion."

"So, what, you just want them to live a lie?" Tidus asked.

"No, I never really thought about it, but now that you have me thinking about it, it needs to be a slow process," Yuna replied.

"Well, we can lead as an example," Tidus smiled.

"Lead as example?" Yuna asked.

"Well yeah, I mean, we obviously didn't follow Yevon's crazy rules, but that doesn't mean what we did wasn't right," Tidus explained.

"Tidus, you and I both know that what we did was pure and beautiful, but they are not going to see it that way," Yuna insisted. She wanted more than anything for the world to accept their deed and she knew that it was what Tidus had said, it was right. It was more than right and there was nothing more in the world that Yuna wanted in that moment than just that.

"Well, we will have to show them," Tidus said.

"How?" Yuna asked.

"You just destroyed Sin. The world is on cloud nine right now. Have you made a public appearance since the defeat?" Tidus asked.

Yuna shook her head, "No, maybe it was pregnancy hormones, but I was a bit of a mess after you disappeared. I just needed to be alone."

"Well, you are a celebrity now and who knows better how to be a celebrity than moi?" Tidus asked, while puffing his chest out.

Yuna couldn't help but chuckle, "You, a celebrity?"

"Star player of the Zanarkand Abes?" Tidus asked proudly.

"Never heard of them," Yuna smirked.

"Well, believe it or not, I am quite popular back home," Tidus said.

"Ok and that is supposed to help me, how?" Yuna asked.

"Well, I may have some ideas on how to approach this and get people to accept us and our child," Tidus told her.

"And that is?" Yuna asked.

"Well, why don't we do a tour. Go to all the different villages and meet with the people. Make it personal, the people will love it and love you more than they already do," Tidus explained.

Yuna pulled Tidus into a deep hug. This was the kind of support and thoughtfulness she was looking for and she was glad he was pulling through. She realized she was too quick to assume that he was not going to be any help through this.

Tidus pulled away from her and placed a soft kiss on Yuna's lips, "I take it you like my idea?" he asked.

Yuna nodded, "It is definitely worth the try." She paused for a second. "You have to be with me though too, the world needs to see how special you are to me," she added.

"I agree. The world needs to see how amazing we are together," Tidus said with a wink.

"We are pretty amazing," Yuna smiled.

"I love you," Tidus smiled back.

"I love you too," Yuna replied. She placed a short, soft peck on his lips. "I am sorry for doubting you," she added.

"And I am sorry about running away like that," Tidus said. "But let's forget about that, if you excuse me, I have some planning to do," Tidus continued. Yuna nodded and pulled Tidus into a tight hug once again.

Tidus found himself sitting at a table in his cabin, a pen was in his hand and a pad of paper below him. "You are welcome," a familiar voice said.

"I swear, if you did anything…" Tidus started to say. He felt his anger start to build up inside of him. He was getting awfully tired of this being from taking over.

"Now, now, before you get angry, maybe you should ask what I have been up to," the voice suggested.

"Because I know you are up to no good," Tidus said.

"And if I took the role as a good boyfriend?" the voice asked.

Tidus clenched his fists. He wanted nothing more to rip this being out of his mind. He just wished he knew how. "If you did anything to Yuna..." Tidus growled.

"I told you, Yuna will not be harmed," the voice insisted. "And as you were trying to kill yourself, I managed to stop that from happening and regain Yuna's confidence in you," the voice stated.

"Confidence in me?" Tidus asked.

"Well yes, I mean, judging how you just stormed out after she told you the wonderful news and then to find you slowly creeping towards the edge to your death, that's enough to worry anyone," the voice explained.

For once, Tidus agreed with this mysterious being. He had been acting childish. He should have been there for her, but at the same time, she was unaware of the current predicament he was in. This being that was lurking inside him was not to be trusted and more than anything he wished he could confide in her, but he knew he would not be able to. He was sure he would black out the moment he tried to even hint at what was going on.

Tidus took a deep breath, "Okay, so how did you regain her confidence in me?"

"It was simple," the voice chuckled.

"Will you just tell me, I am tired of your vague answers," Tidus growled.

"Well, it seems like this world is very conservative in their beliefs." the voice stated. "Much more than you and I's Zanarkand."

"Yes, the teachings of Yevon were very conservative, but I don't know how that relates to whatever bullshit story you told Yuna," Tidus said.

"Now, now, no need for any hostility here," the voice warned.

"Will you just get on with it," Tidus sighed.

"Anyway, you do know that a child born out of wedlock is a huge taboo in this culture, right?" the voice asked.

Tidus frowned, he hadn't thought about that. He felt even worse now. Yuna was now a huge idol towards the Spirans. Now she was pregnant and unmarried. He knew, even though it turned out that the Yevon teachings were nothing but a sham, it was the only way of life the people knew. He had a feeling people probably wouldn't look over Yuna's pregnancy, despite defeating Sin.

Tidus slunk down in his chair, nausea starting to roll over him. Yuna probably felt very alone about all this, yet, he ran away and was seriously thinking about just ending it all by jumping off the side of the airship. Worse yet, this thing inside of him had to fix the mess he made of things.

"So, what did you do to fix this?" Tidus finally asked, unsure if he wanted to know the answer.

"A tour," the voice stated simply.

"A tour?" Tidus asked.

"Yes, you are going to go to every village, city, and town and meet with the people individually," the voice explained.

"You think that will work?" Tidus asked.

"I think it might. Make things personal so the people can relate to you all and see firsthand how much the two of you love each other," the voice said.

"You think people will forgive us then?" Tidus asked.

"Well, it won't hurt to try, am I right?" the voice asked.

"I guess not," Tidus said. He put his head in his hands. He wasn't so sure the plan would work. Yuna would have no problem pleasing the public, but would Tidus be able to? He was the strange boy from Zanarkand, after all. People were already suspicious of him and where he came from.

"You were a celebrity back in Zanarkand were you not?" the voice asked.

"Yes, but I was the star player of the Zanarkand Abes," Tidus said. "Here, I am the strange man from Zanarkand. I am already a bit controversial," he added.

"You told everyone you were from Zanarkand?" the voice asked, sounding a bit bewildered.

"When I woke into this world for the first time, I didn't know anything. I didn't know that Zanarkand was destroyed a thousand years ago," Tidus explained.

"I see," the voice said.

"I kind of made a scene in Bevelle after Yuna married Seymour too," Tidus added.

"So it isn't going to be easy," the voice said.

"Not going to be easy for me and if they can't accept me, I don't know if they will accept the baby," Tidus sighed.

"Well, you have to find a way," the voice said.

"Why do you care so much?" Tidus asked.

"You will know in time," the voice said.

"Well, thank you, I guess," Tidus sighed.

"You are welcome," the voice said. "Now, you have a lot of work to do."

"When?" Tidus asked.

Suddenly the door opened and both Rikku and Yuna barged in, holding what looked like sphere in their hands. They both had very concerned looks on their faces.

"Well, it seems like sooner than you think," the voice said…

A/N: Hope you enjoyed this chapter!