Thank you so much for your kind reviews. To those who liked reading about John and Anna's letters in "Something Left of you", don't worry, I have not given up on that story. I'll come back to it later.

June 2010

The O'Sullivan family was, as Mrs O'Sullivan's dining table, very large, but not unwelcoming. Vera had not lied at least, when she had described her family as traditional Irish Catholics. Vera's five siblings, be they older or younger than her, were all married and with several children already. Therefore, Vera's parents' cottage, on the outskirts of Dublin, was rather cramped and noisy as the whole family had gathered to welcome the young couple. Vera's parents did not hide their relief and pride that finally the last of their children had decided to unite in holy matrimony. They spent a large part of lunch dotting on a somewhat dazed John, musing on how much time their precious daughter had needed to finally find the right man, and therefore how valuable he had to be. John spent the first part of the day with a tight smile plastered on his face, then, beer and family warmth helping, found that he gradually managed to relax. Vera had instructed him that under no circumstances was the subject of her pregnancy to be addressed, so it wasn't.

By the end of the afternoon, John was chatting with one of Vera's brothers-in-law, while one of her numerous nephews had managed to climb into his lap. Being a father was something he had always wanted, and he found that he enjoyed the weight of the tiny warm body curling in his lap, and the soft red curls tickling his chin. Maybe they could make it work, after all. Deep in conversation with Kieran, he felt Vera's hands gently sliding from his shoulders to his upper arms, and her voice whispered in his ear:

- Come on, darling, there's something I want to show you.

As they walked out of Vera's parents' house to Vera's car, she slid her hand into the crook of his arm and crooned:

- My family loves you so much, I'm so glad! My mum is so happy we've found each other!

John made a non-committal grunt, and asked:

- Where are you taking me? What is it you want to show me?

- Oh, you'll see! Something really neat!, she answered, a mysterious gleam in her eyes.

After a twenty-minutes drive, she parked in front of a semi-detached house in a quiet driveway, bearing the number 354. As they walked into the house, John looked around and asked:

- So? Where are we?

Vera flashed him a radiant smile, and dragged John further into the house.

- This is my aunt Letty's house. She was my favourite aunt, and my Godmother. When she passed away a few months back, I discovered that she had left me her house. This is our new home!

As she finished her sentence, she knotted her fingers on the back of John's neck, and pulled him into a kiss.

- Er, wait, what?!, stuttered John, dumbfounded, when she had released him.

He had "agreed" to go to Dublin to meet Vera's family and marry her, but never had they talked of living here.

- Oh, I'm so excited!, giggled Vera, battling her eyelashes. We are going to be so happy here!

- Vera! Vera!, he tried, hoping to tame her enthusiasm. What are you talking about?! We never discussed moving to Ireland! This is insane! What about our flat? Your job? My PHD?

- But of course we did!, she cut, dragging him into the living-room.

She sat into the couch and pulled him next to her.

- I gave up the lease on the flat. A moving company is bringing all our stuff here on Wednesday. I got a job at Dublin Uni. You can finish your PHD here.

John looked at her, gaping. How could she have made such decisions without consulting him? Vera looked at him with wide blue eyes, and took both his hands in hers.

- Love, we discussed all that. You agreed it made more sense we raise our child next to my family, since you don't have any.

- I…, started John.

Was his memory deceiving him? Surely he would have remembered such a conversation…

- I'm pretty sure I didn't. And we didn't talk about that.

Vera frowned a little, and pouted. She squeezed his hands and said:

- Oh, well, I'm sorry if we didn't. I thought it was for the best. Look, John, darling. I'm sorry if I hurt you in the past. I know I can be difficult, I know I have some issues. But I love you, and I know we could be happy, if you only let us try! I promise I'll be better. I'll change if you want me to. You already made me better since we've been together. We're having a child! Don't you think we owe it to our baby, to at least try and give them a stable family? Please?

Her voice sounded genuine and pleading. John's heart constricted when he looked in her eyes and saw hope and fear. He knew she was a complex person, he remembered how she had told him about battling depression as a teen and a young adult, after being bullied in high school. Yes, she had trouble controlling her feelings sometimes, and sometimes, anger took the best of her. But she really did seem to love him, and to want to make things work. So, yes, maybe he owed her that after all, to her and to the child.

- Alright…, he sighed in the end.

She threw herself into his arms and buried her face against his neck.

-Thank you John, thank you so much! I swear you won't regret it!

(I do hope so, he thought, as a blond silhouette drifted further and further away from him in his mind's eye.)

- But Vera?, he said, as he pulled her gently away from him.

- Yes?

- Please, don't do this again. Don't make that kind of decision on your own.

-Yes, of course. I'm so sorry, I really thought you were on board!

x x x x

November 2017

Anna was seated in the hospital room, next to John's bed, as she had been for several hours now. He was still unconscious, a gastric tube poking out of his nose, an oxygen mask on his face, and plenty of electrodes pasted on his chest. The doctor had said he should be fine, but there was nothing more they could do but keep him under close surveillance while his body washed out the alcohol and pills he had taken. The gastric tube was meant to empty the rest of his stomach's content, so that he wouldn't vomit again and risk choking on it. According to the doctor, it was very lucky he had passed out lying on his side, otherwise Anna would have likely found him dead. She had shivered at the thought. So now, she was waiting for him to wake up in this quiet room. Vera had not come home before the paramedics had taken John away, and she didn't know her whereabouts or her phone number, and John's phone, that she had found lying on the coffee table next to him, was out of battery, so Anna had no way of contacting her or her family. Not that she wanted to anyway. She had informed Mary and Robert though, that John was still alive but in the hospital. She had talked briefly to Mary on the phone, filling her in on what little information she had. Now she was sitting and studying John's face as he slept his pills out. He looked thinner than she remembered him, and more unkempt. His hair was longer and clearly not looked after, and his cheeks were covered in a three-days stubble. He had dark patches under his eyes, and overall looked sullen. Clearly he did not look like a healthy and happy person. Anna sighed at the sight. She could only imagine what Vera had made him go through during those seven years, so that he had come to the conclusion that killing himself was the best solution. Anger boiled deep inside her at the thought. For the few months she had known him before Vera had taken him away from her, she had had the time to notice how kind, gentle and empathic he was, always ready to help people, and she had loved him. She loathed Vera for destroying him to this point, and she knew it had to be her fault.

She had dozed in the armchair when a hoarse voice made her jump awake two hours later.

- Anna?…

John slowly brought his hand to his eyes and rubbed them, as if he couldn't quite believe what he was seeing. His mouth was dry and he had the worst taste in his mouth. Every muscle in his body was aching, not to mention the pounding in his head. He looked back with bloodshot eyes at the blond apparition, who smiled worriedly back at him.

- Are you an angel?, he slowly uttered. Am I dead?

She chuckled sadly.

- Fortunately not, she replied. And I'm no angel.

He looked at her silently for a moment, tears shining in his eyes. At some point he made a slow gesture with his hand towards her, and she came nearer, and seized his hand, holding it tight into hers. The feeling of their hands united and their fingers intertwined took them both back instantly to a happier day, seven years ago, when they had shared dreams of a common future.

- You came…, he marvelled.

- Of course I did.

- I never thought you would. I thought you had moved on and forgotten me.

- I couldn't. Not ever.

- But what about your husband? Your kids?

Anna looked at him, dumbfounded.

- What are you talking about? I'm not married. I don't have kids.

- Oh? Vera told me she had looked you up on Facebook and you were married and had two kids.

So that was just another one on Vera's long list of lies.

- And you believed her?

- That's the story of my life. I have believed her for much too long. But I was too scared to look up myself. I couldn't bear the thought of seeing you happy with another one.

- Well I'm not.

They kept silent for a while, until Anna asked:

- John, what happened? Why did you do this?

He closed his eyes and looked away from her.

- I'm a failure. My life is a scam. It was all I deserved for being so foolish and ruining everything.

Anna's felt a large lump forming in her throat as she looked at him.

- That can't be true. No one deserves that, I know for sure you don't. I'm sure if someone ruined everything, it wasn't you. Do you know where Vera is? She wasn't at home when I arrived.

- She went off with her lover.

- Is this why you attempted suicide? Because she has a lover?

He almost chuckled.

- No. I don't even care about that. It's just… I've uncovered a lot of things over the course of the last weeks. I discovered how much the last seven years had been a parody. She lied to me over and over again. And when I told her I would go back to England, she guessed I would try to find you, so she told me about you being married and all. So I thought there was nothing worthy left for me any more in this life. I had nothing left.

- But… What about your child?, asked Anna.

- Ah. That was one of the many lies.

- Oh.

Anna waited a while, but apparently John wasn't ready to go into the details. He added bitterly:

- I had no child, my marriage was one big lie, and my true love was gone.

Tears came to Anna's eyes as he said those last words.

- True love…, she repeated softly, barely more than a whisper.

- Yes. You were my only true love. And I hurt you, I ruined everything… All the pain I've put you through… I wish that I could take it all away.

- You did hurt me. I never understood why you left like that when you told me you were going to back out of your engagement. But now, we can start again. You can explain everything to me. We've got time.

- I feel so ashamed of everything, he said in a wavering voice, wiping the corner of his eyes. It's like every time I had the opportunity to get out of this hell, I made the wrong choice. She managed to persuade me every time that it was the right thing to do…

- She's one manipulative bitch, I have to say, stated Anna pointedly.

- She is, admitted John.

A nurse entered John's room, and smiled to him.

- So, how are you feeling, Mr Bates?, she asked.

- Not that good, he admitted.

- We'll see to that, replied the nurse. Now, Ma'am, she added, turning to Anna, I'm sorry but visiting hours are over, I must ask you to leave.

- Oh, alright, said Anna, picking up her purse and suitcase. I need to go find myself a hotel anyway, she said, winking at John. I'll be back tomorrow, OK? I'm not going away without you.

- OK, he said, smiling to her. Thank you so much Anna. See you tomorrow.

She gently kissed the back of his hand before leaving him with the nurse.

But the next day, when Anna arrived at the hospital, she found another patient in John's room. When she asked the nurse about him, she told her he had been released home earlier in the morning. Anna wondered why he had not called or texted her to inform her about it. Worry started rising again in her heart as she made her way to his home. As she walked up to his door once again, she noticed a red car parked in front of the house, that was not there the day before. She rang the bell, and her heart sank when a stone-faced Vera opened the door. The tall black-haired woman eyed her from head to toe with disdain, and asked harshly:

- What do you want?

- I've come to see John, she replied, forcing herself to sound polite, if not friendly.

- John doesn't need you. He's been released from the hospital into his family's care. You're not his family, to the best of my knowledge. Now leave us alone.

Anna's hair flew around her face as Vera slammed the door into her face.