This chapter came to me, after watching Jessica's baby's funeral on YouTube and I again thought I could switch this to Cal and Ricky.
For this chapter Casey is 8 months.
Sorry to anyone who hasn't seen Saturdays episode of Casualty, but I just have to say when the boy fell in to the water, the medical details, Iain and Jez were saying, reminded me of Jessica. Most of the dialogue is again taken from the episode "A Day In A Life, " which aired in series 24 and was a double episode, but I've mixed it up, so the characters that are speaking the dialogue may not have spoken it in the show. Chapter includes a mixture of old and new characters.
This chapter is set when Matilda was the boys mum, therefore Ethan doesn't have the gene. With me, in some chapters he has it, in others he doesn't.
As always, I don't own Cal or Ethan, or Ricky or Brax, I'm just writing about them. Only person, I own is Father Bill, everything else belongs to the BBC and Channel 5, which is the channel they air Home and Away on.
Guest: Thank you for the review. I like to see the brothers comforting each other. I can do a chapter where Cal breaks down.
Guest: Thank you for the review. I can do a chapter where Cal is Claustrophobic. There has only been one character, who suffered with it and that was Adam Trueman, and I hope I can do it justice.
Guest: Thank you for the review. I'm glad you liked the fic.
bronwen100: Thank you for the review. I'm glad I managed to capture exactly what you wanted. I'm glad you like Jessica in my stories. I hate when people say rude things as well. I think there are politer ways of telling someone that you weren't keen on their work.
Guest: (bronwen) Thank you for the review. I guess it's difficult when you don't like a character and someone else is writing about them load's.
Sweet - as - honey: Thank you for the review. I miss sickfics as well. Thank you for the PM, detailing your prompt, it is coming in the next chapter. Thank you for the kind words about me getting better, I'm getting there, thanks.
CBloom2: Thank you for the review. That's nice to know that you love my brotherly stuff. More brother stuff is on it's way.
Tigsey: Thank you for the review. I can go a chapter where Alicia falls pregnant, but Cal doesn't realise his girlfriend is potentially carrying his brothers baby.
Sorry, there's a wedding service in this, but I think the chapter needs it. Feel free to skip the ceremony if you wish.
The Secret Life Of Casualty.
Chapter 255.
Members of the ED are in the cemetery, the men are dressed in black, the women are in black, wrapped up against the cold, a tiny white coffin is being brought out of a hearse. The coffin contains Erica Sharpe's baby. She is burying her precious baby, leaving him alone and cold in the ground.
Flashback.
It was her wedding day, the happiest day of her life, or so she thought. She had the dress on, a long, sleeveless gown, the skirt had layers of tulle in, and the top half had tiny beads in. Her hair was pulled in to a bun, with a few strands framing her face. Her make up was done as natural as possible, she was never one for caking herself in it. With foundation and concealer, mascara and a pink lipstick. On her feet, she wore a pair of white heels.
Cal, meanwhile, is in Max's flat with Ethan, Iain and Jez, getting ready, he's having a larger, he says it's to help steady his nerves. The groom is wearing a white shirt, a black jacket and black trousers. On his feet, a pair of shoes which he had asked Ethan to go and have polished.
Back in Cal's house, Kyle had arrived as he was giving her away.
She took Kyle's arm as he was walking her down the aisle, Brax is in prison, Heath, is with his wife, so unfortunately can't make the wedding and Ricky is sad that her friend isn't going to be there.
"Are you ready?" Kyle asks, giving Ricky's arm, a gentle squeeze as they make their way down the stairs.
"Sure" The bride answers as she walks through the door.
There is limo is waiting for Ricky, she is shocked, she wasn't expecting this.
It's a white limo, with it's own personal driver.
What's this?" Ricky asks in surprise.
"It was Cal's idea, " Kyle says as he watches the driver called, Tom. open the door for her.
Ricky slides in, being careful of the dress she is wearing as Kyle buckles Casey in to his seat next to her. He gurgles and Ricky runs a finger gently down her sons sift cheek as the driver starts the engine and drives to the church where Cal had said held special meaning for him as his mum, Matilda was buried there, Ricky found she couldn't refuse.
As the limo, arrived at the church, Kyle held Casey and offered Ricky his arm, she took it and waited at the church entrance. As "Here comes the bride " started to play, Ricky makes her way down the aisle.
"Look after her, " Kyle warns Cal, as they reach the end of the alsle, she's already had her heart broken by Brax, she doesn't need it broken by Cal.
"I will mate, " Cal replies, he's been a player, before but as he did with Taylor, but just look how that turned out, but then he met Ricky at the pub, he brought her a drink, they got chatting, as at the time his mum was dying and Brax had just broken up with her. At the end of the night, he had asked for her number and they had arranged a second date. Their second date was at the cinema, watching a movie that Cal had picked out. Their third and final date was a picnic and Cal had surprised Ricky with the ring. He had asked her to get the cake out of the basket and instead she had come across a heart shaped box. She had handed it to Cal, who had snapped it open, revealing a white gold engagement ring with a diamond in the middle, surrounded by smaller diamonds.
"Will you marry me?" He asked.
"Oh, Cal, " Happy tears had sprung to her eyes, she really wasn't expecting this.
"Well?" Cal asked.
"Yes" She smiled, throwing her arms around his neck.
Ricky pulls herself from the memory as the ceremony starts.
"Please be seated, " Said the Vicar Father Bill.
"We are gathered here on this day to witness and celebrate the marriage of Caleb and Erica. We come together not to mark the start of a relationship, but to acknowledge and strengthen a bond that already exists. This ceremony is a public affirmation, of that bond and as their dearest family and friends, it is our honour and privilege, to stand witness to this event. This day is made possible not only because of your love for each other, but through the grace and support of your family and friends. It is our hope that your fulfilment and joy in each other will increase with each passing year. "
"Marriage is a commitment in life, where two people can find two people can find and bring out the very best in each other. It offers opportunities for sharing and growth that no other human relationship can equal, a physical and emotional joining that has the promise of a lifetime."
"Let us bow our heads in prayer. Lord, we thank you for gathering everyone here today. We ask that you help Caleb and Erica to remember the strong love that they share. To work that love into practical things so that nothing can divide them. May their love always inspire them to be kind in their words, considerate of the other's feelings, and concerned for the other's needs and wishes. Increase their faith and trust in You. Bless their marriage with peace and happiness and make their Love fruitful for Your glory and their joy, both here and in eternity. Amen."
"Marriage deepens and enriches every facet of life. Happiness is fuller; memories are fresher; commitment is stronger. Marriage understands and forgives the mistakes life is unable to avoid. It encourages and nurtures new life, new experiences and new ways of expressing love through the seasons of life."
"In his letter to the Corinthians, Paul wrote: Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes in all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends."
"While the commitment begins with the two of you, its effect radiates outward. It touches your family and friends and ultimately all of society. When this commitment is seriously made and continuously fulfilled, it leads to the richest and most rewarding of human relationships."
"This is, I am sure, what you Caleb, want for Erica and it is also what you, Erica, want for Caleb. It is also what your family and friends who are gathered here want for the two of you. When a couple treats each other with kindness, love, and respect, the best of what marriage has to offer is the result."
"Your relationship will take more than love. It will take trust, to know in your hearts that you want only the best for each other. Dedication, to stay open to one another, to learn and grow, even when it is difficult to do so. And faith, to go forward together without knowing what the future holds for you both."
While love is our natural state of being, these other qualities are not as easy to come by. They are not a destination, but a journey. Marriage is a give and take between two personalities, a mingling of two endowments which diminishes neither, but enhances both.
"Your joining together today becomes all the more important to recognize the significance of a devoted and affectionate family life. "
"You are both blessed to have come from truly loving families who recognize the importance of marriage and the fundamental nature of the marriage commitment. They want everyone to know that who they are today is the result of many years of support and sacrifice by their parents."
"Seeing that no moment is without meaning, we ask that you take this marriage as a beginning of your lives together. Today signifies the creation of a new home and a new family for you both. May you be fulfilled by each other's love and friendship. May you be overjoyed by the promises you are about to make and the life together you will create."
"Remember that in every marriage, there are good times and bad, times of joy and times of sorrow. Marriage is a journey – a time of adventure and excitement enhanced by the love, trust, dedication and faith you share in one another."
You are mature enough to know the difference between dreams and realities. You have youth and hope. You also know that good times are sweeter when shared and that difficult times are less harsh when borne by two. Continue to work to build a foundation that will support the lasting relationship that is marriage.
"May the promises you make to one another today, be lived out to the end of your lives. Tomorrow can bring you the greatest of joys, but today is the day it all begins."
"Caleb and Erica, do you, with your family and friends as your witnesses, present yourselves willingly and of your own accord to be joined in marriage?"
[We do]
Will you promise to care for each other in the joys and sorrows of life, come what may, and to share the responsibility for growth and enrichment of your life together?"
"We will" They said.
"Caleb, please repeat after me." Asked Father Bill.
"I, Cal, take you Erica, to be my lawful wedded wife
I give to you in the presence of God and these witnesses
My promise to stay by your side,
In sickness and in health, in joy and in sorrow,
As well as through the good times and the bad.
I promise to love you without reservation,
Comfort you in times of distress
Encourage you to achieve all of your goals,
Laugh with you and cry with you,
Grow with you in mind and spirit
Always be open and honest with you,
And cherish you for as long as we both shall live "
"Erica, please repeat after me" asked father Bill.
Ricky nodded, took a deep breath and started talking:
"I, Erica, take you Cal, to be my lawful wedded husband
I give to you in the presence of God and these witnesses
My promise to stay by your side,
In sickness and in health, in joy and in sorrow,
As well as through the good times and the bad.
I promise to love you without reservation,
Comfort you in times of distress
Encourage you to achieve all of your goals,
Laugh with you and cry with you,
Grow with you in mind and spirit
Always be open and honest with you,
And cherish you for as long as we both shall live" she finished, smiling.
"Caleb and Erica as you hold hands, may you see the gift that they are to you." Asked the vicar.
Cal took Ricky hands in his, giving them a light squeeze.
"These are the hands that are holding yours on your wedding day as you promise to love each other today, tomorrow, and forever. These are the hands that will countless times wipe tears from your eyes, tears of joy and sorrow. These are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years. These are the hands that will help hold your family together as one as you overcome adversity. These are the hands that will give you strength when you need it. These are the hands that will work alongside yours as together you build your future."
"Having this love in your hearts, you have chosen to seal your vows by exchanging rings."
"From the earliest times, the circle has been a sign of completeness. The rings that you have chosen to wear have neither beginning nor end, much like your love for one another. They are a symbol of the words that you speak today. May these rings be from this day forward, your most treasured adornment, and may the love they symbolize, be your most precious possession. As you wear these rings, may they be constant reminders of these glad promises you are making today."
Let us pray. Lord, bless the giving and receiving of these rings. May Caleb and Erica be forever true to this union. May the seamless circle of these rings become the symbol of their endless love and serve to remind them of the holy covenant they have entered into today. Amen "
Caleb, take this ring, place it on Erica's left hand and repeat after me." Said Father Bill as Cal picked up the ring.
"I give you this ring as a symbol of my love and faithfulness to you. " Grinned Cal as he slide the ring on to Ricky's finger. It's a 9 Carrot Gold ring with a morgainte diamond in the middle, it's decorated on the outside by little diamonds.
Erica, take this ring, place it on Caleb's left hand and repeat after me. " Said Father Bill.
"I give you this ring as a symbol of my love and faithfulness to you." Ricky said as she picked up the ring.
"Today you have pledged yourselves to a lifetime of caring for one another. May this be a commitment made in love, kept in faith, lived in hope and eternally renewed. As you stand before us, it is our hope that you will go through life loving, trusting, and caring for one another, completely and forever."
"Caleb and Erica from this moment forward you will never be alone. You will carry with you the love of another person, giving you a completeness and renewed lightness. May your life together be immersed in love and excitement. May you strive to enrich each other in every possible way. And may you work to bring the peace you find to this world."
"Having pledged their fidelity to one another, to love, honor and cherish one another in the presence of this gathering and by the authority vested in me by the constitution and the laws of this state, it is my honor to now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."
Cupping his new wife's face in his hands Cal kisses her passionately.
Ladies and Gentlemen, it is my honor to be the first to introduce you to: Mr and Mrs Knight!"
As Cal and Ricky kiss on the steps outside the church, with a friend of Ricky's taking the photos, confetti is being thrown in their faces. They say their goodbyes while they get in to the car, ready to drive to the venue to sign their papers, then their off to the reception, it's being held in the rugby club Cal played in when he was in high school.
They are driving on country roads, Ricky is talking to Phoebe on the phone, Casey is babbling to himself, playing with one of his toys.
"Cal, " Ricky shouts when she notices that a car is driving straight towards them.
Cal tries to swerve, but he's too late, his car collides with the other vehicle and the car makes a screeching sound, as it lands on the ice. Casey begins to cry.
"It's OK, baby, mummy's here, " Ricky says, undoing her own belt and crawling through the gap, Cal feels the car edge, sinking ever so slowly.
"Rick, don't. " He says, pulling her back.
The car is now beginning to fill with water, as Cal tries to push against the doors, he realises the water is pushing against the doors.
"The water is pushing against the doors, when the car fills up, we will have one more chance to get out. "
"Yeah, " Ricky comments as Cal helps her to the back, he then passes her Casey as he begins to cry more, tangling his hands in his mums hair.
"It's ok mate, " Ricky soothes.
"Oh, its freezing" Ricky says, as she feels it soak her skin, she's used to cold water as a surfer, but she usually has a wetsuit on to protect her from the water, but now she is in her wedding gown, which is beginning to cling to her skin, usually Cal would have been turned on by that, but he's got to concentrate.
"Apparently it's good for the skin, " Cal comments, moving closer to her in a bid to keep her and Casey warm.
The ice breaks and the car slowly disappears under the water. Cal kicks and kicks at the doors, but they aren't letting up.
Cal comes to the surface and finds himself coming face to face with Ethan, Iain and Dixie.
"Cal" Ethan says as he notices his brother.
"I'm f-fine, " The older brother splutters. "Ricky? Casey?"
"We'll find them, " Ethan reassures as he watches Cal dive in to the water.
The water is dark and Cal can't see the two people that he needs too. He looks and sees his car, abandoned deep in to the water. Ricky aand Casey are inside, trapped. Her eyes are open, she's banging frantically on the window, as Cal fights from the outside, he sees Casey is in her arms. Cal tries pulling open the door, but it's stuck. He needs to find a way to open the door. Using all the strength he has (which isn't much, he's hypothermic too. ) He pulls open the boot and swims inside, he tries to pull Ricky free, but she isn't moving, the energy she once had, has deserted her.
As Cal fights the water, that is raising inside the car, trying to pull Ricky out of the car, but he realises her foot is entangled in the belt, her son slipped out of her arms, falling in to the dark water below them.
Sensing she's dropped her beloved son, Ricky tries to fight with Cal as she tries desperately to pull away and search for him.
Knowing what she is doing and knowing there is a chance Casey is further down in the water and dying, Cal dragged an unconcious Ricky to the surface where Ethan and Iain carry her to an empty area.
"She's cold, " Said Iain. "Her pulse is weak, "
"OK, " Ethan nodded.
The paramedic and doctor took over, putting her on a spinal board, securing her to it, putting an oxygen mask on her and putting a blanket over her as they put her on a stretcher and load her in to the ambulance.
Cal dives under the water to try to find his stepson, he comes back up holding the infant, who is unconscious.
Dixie plucks the unconscious child out of his arms and places him in the ambulance, next to his mother, who is wrapped in tinfoil. an oxygen mask on her.
"This is Casey Braxton, 8 months old, submerged in water for a few minutes, breathing difficulties. "
"This is Erica Sharpe, " Cal bleaches as he realises he's used her old surname, but that doesn't matter now, he has to carry on. "27, submerged in icy water for a few minutes, temperature unrecorable, she may have also sustained a head injury, GSC is 9, RESPS of 8 and she may have inhaled some water as well. " The trolley disappears in to RESUS.
"The head injury is of secondary concern, we have to warm her up before anything else, " Zoe says, she's seen it before with Jessica.
"OK, OK, nasal gastric lavage. " Cal thinks, his head is spinning.
"Can I have an NG tube and 500 mills of normal saline, " Ethan says, to a nurse, while putting an arm around Cal.
"Robyn, how are we going with that tube, I want it right away, " Cal says.
"His temperature is at 1 degree, " Says Doctor. Sebastian Grayling.
"Yeah, but his BP'S. " adds Dr. May Phelps.
"So?" Cal snaps, "It's low, but it'll come back up. "
"28. 3, degrees, she's not warming up quickly enough. " Henry mentions.
"Warm peritoneal lavage. We have to try anything. Get me a DPL kit and a number 7 scalpel " Ethan stares at his brother. "Ethan, scalpel" Cal says, putting on a pair of gloves.
Casey's monitor beeps, he needs intubating. Cal, intubates, with shaking hands.
"SAT'S are coming up, temperature is up, he can go for his CT scan shortly, " Says Tess.
Casey was taken for his CT, with Ethan. "Cal, the CT, was clear, the paediatrician has looked him over, he's looking really good. "
"Good " Cal sighs, relieved as he heads over to Ricky's bed.
"Temps still down at 28. 9, " Ethan says.
"Well, I know it hasn't come up much, but it's still come up, right?" Cal questions.
"It's increased much, but it's just too slow, the peritoneal lavage isn't working, it's soon going to affect her heart. "
"Well, lets go for plural lavage, lets do that, shall we?" Cal stressed.
Ethan grabs his brothers arms. "No, no, no, she's suffered too much trauma, it's just not worth messing around with tubes in her chest for the sake of 1 degree an hour. "
"She's at serious risk of arrest from VF. " Charlie says.
"Get me 2 sized 28 chest drains, Nurse Miller. "
"She keeps having arrhythmia's" Ethan speaks to Zoe, as he bundles Cal in to a cubicle, putting a blanket around him.
Zoe finishes. "With her temperature under 30 degrees, defibrillators certainly won't work."
"Think, " Cal mutters to himself.
"There is one thing we can do, " Zoe comments. Cal looks up. "We can put her on cardiac bypass, it's the only way we can raise her core temperature in time, "
"She'd have to go up to Darwin for that wouldn't, she?" Ethan asks.
Zoe nods: "Yes, but she's too unstable to be moved, it could tip her in to cardiac arrest, "
Zoe talks to Nick and he agrees to do it, remembering the success he had with Jessica's surgery.
Nick, Zoe and Ethan are in RESUS, all gowned up with masks on.
"Right, preparing to make the first cut. Scalpel please. " Nick asks.
Zoe picks up the tray and dips it in to water.
He cuts in to her chest, creating a line of blood.
"Protector at the ready, Doctor Hardy,"
"OK, " Says Nick. "Now we need to open the ribcage, saw please, Dr. Hardy. "
"Protoctors, suction there, Dr. Hardy, " Ethan places a pad down as Nick puts the protector in the incision he made "Opening up the spreaders. Next step 3 zero prolene and a snugger. Watch closely, I'm making a pear string stich around the ascending aorta. Cut, Dr. Hardy. Snugger on. And now we do the same for the for the right atrium appendage. Cut, snugger on. Hatrium injection, please, giving heparin to the right atrium. Now we need to make a cut in the aorta. Scalpel please,"
Nick's hand starts to shake as he picks up the instrument.
"Mr Jordan?" Zoe questions. "Nick?"
"I can't grip it, " Nick tells Zoe.
"You've just opened her up, you can't just leave it, " Zoe replies, looking at Ethan.
"Dr. Hardy, here, "
"What?" Ethan replies.
"Come here, "
"But it's Erica, " Ethan replies, he still doesn't feel comfortable calling her "Ricky, "
"I know who it is, " Zoe nods.
"Deep breath, " Zoe instructs. "Locate the aorta, "
Ethan seems to be struggling.
"Deep breath, " Zoe repeats. "Make the cut, "
Ethan cuts.
"Lets insert the aortic cannula please. We'll tighten the pear strings and we'll attach on to bypass, " Nick mentions.
"Well done, Doctor Hardy, " Zoe grins.
"Thanks, " Ethan mumbles, hit by the realisation he's just saved his brothers wife.
"Right, both lines are attached, " Nick says. "Anything on bypass?" Zoe shakes her head. "OK, on bypass, " Nick adds.
The blood flows through, the tubes in Ricky's chest.
"Come on now, " Nick says. "There she goes. See it's working. "
"Can you fetch Cal for me please, " Zoe asks.
Ethan nods and arrives with Cal a few minutes later. "Her temperature is almost back to normal, her heart rate is 60 and she's clearly in sinus rhythm. We'll be taking her off soon and sending her for a head CT"
"Then she'll go to ITU?" Cal asks.
"Yes, " Ethan replies.
Cal grabs a cup of coffee with Ethan, but he doesn't want to be away for to long. Monitors start to beep.
"Charlie, " Tess shouts and the elderly man starts running.
"His BP's hit the floor, pulse is unrecorable. " Charlie says.
Cal panics.
"There must be a circulation problem. He's loosing blood somewhere. Abdomen is rigid, it's becoming distended. " Ethan says, while pressing down on the infants chest with two fingers.
The monitor beeps.
"He's in PDA arrest, " Comments Charlie.
"I need adrenaline, 1. in 10 thousand. " Ethan says as he watches it going in, while doing compressions on the infant.
Cal glances at the clock on the wall, time is going slow, the faster time goes, they lose a minute of trying to save the infant.
"Please, " Cal begs, as he looks at his colleagues, he needs them to keep going, if not for him, but for Ricky. "Please, "
Sympathetic faces blur in to one as Ethan removes the tiny sized oxygen mask.
As Ethan steps back, Cal looks at the child that while wasn't his biologically, felt like he was in that moment. He looks at him, only in his nappy now and kisses him lightly on the forehead.
It's the day after Casey's death and Ricky is still unresponsive in ITU, Cal is at work, although, Ethan had tried to convince him to stay at home, Cal refused as there were reminders of Ricky and Casey everywhere.
Cal pauses outside the room Ricky's been moved to and takes a deep breath, another doctor, he vaguely knows, is shining a torch in Ricky's eyes.
"How is she?" Cal asks, he's wondering what answer he'll get.
The doctor hands Cal Ricky's notes and he reads: "Hydrocephalus"
The doctor nods: "There's more fluid, so there must be a small bleed somewhere, I want to drain it, "
"Yep, " Cal nods, and kisses her before she is wheeled down to surgery.
As the spinal board is moved on to the other bed, the ventilator is still in place.
The doctor uses a scalpel to cut open Ricky's head, and a small set of tweezers to open her brain, she then used a drill, locating the source of the bleed, drains it, before fitting her with a shunt. He stitches the shunt up to stop it from getting damaged.
"It went well, Caleb, " The doctor tells him as they slide an unconscious Ricky's body on to the spinal board, ready to wheel her back to her room.
Placed back in her coma, to help her body heal, Cal waits by her beside, holding her hand. As she's been took off sedation, it's just a waiting game now to see when she wakes up.
Cal falls asleep, Ricky's hand in his, when he hears a choking sound.
He sits up and hits the emergency button behind the bed and Zoe comes in.
She explains she's going to numb her throat, while she takes out the tube.
Zoe numbs it with a spray.
"Can you cough for me?" Zoe asks.
Ricky coughs.
Zoe removes the tube and leaves them to it, as Cal places the oxygen mask on her face, as the NG tube and pulse oximeter have been removed.
"Where's Casey?" She asks, her tone is begging, her voice weak.
Cal takes hold of her hand, and speaks quitely: "Rick, there's something I have to tell you"
"He's dead isn't he?" Ricky guesses, her heart pounding her chest.
Cal nods, slowly, knowing what he was about to say would shatter her world. "Yeah"
It's then the mum let out a scream.
"Where is he?" She asks, once she has calmed down.
"He's in the chapel "
"I want to see him" She takes to remove the bed covers off her, but feeling weak, due to her being in a coma, she falls in to Cal's arms.
"Whoa" Cal grabs her and tries to convince her to get back in to bed, but she refuses.
Cal sighs. "Alright, " He says, walking with her to the door, he takes most of her weight.
She looks in to the tiny basket, her son just looks like he's sleeping, dressed in a sleeping suit, a blue blanket is wrapped around him. His Blood and Sand bear is beside him.
"Mummy's here, mate" She whispers, feeling tears sting the back of her eyes, as she takes hold of his hand, which is cold. She bends down to kiss his forehead. She scoops him gently in to her arms and rocks him. "Sleep tight, mate" She whispers, feeling the tears fall down her cheeks as she places a kiss on his forehead. She places him back in the coffin, making sure the blanket is keeping him warm, it's the same blanket that she had brought him home from the hospital in.
Feeling Cal put his arm around her, he leads her out of the chapel, and as the door closes, she bursts in to tears as she's realises she's let Casey down, she'll never forgive herself.
End of flashback.
They are standing in the cemetery, listening as the vicar speaks. "Very soon baby Casey will go to his final resting place. There are very few words which help when trying to make sense of this tragedy. It is entirely against the run of nature. Seems totally obituary and cruel. All I can do is hope and pray in a greater wisdom. I pray for a world in which Casey's passing makes sense. Where it serves a purpose. And that one day we shall all come to understand that purpose. On that day, we shall see Casey again. "
Charlie begins talking then. "We didn't get to know little Casey. Or the man that he might have become, he was taken from us. But I like to hope he lives on, if not on earth, then in our hearts "
As Cal balances the coffin carefully on the wood, two men lower it in to the ground, Ricky starts to sob, as the realisation hits that she will never see her baby son Casey again.
A police car parks and Cal turns to see Ricky's ex, be brought out of the car by an officer as he attaches a piece of the metal to his wrist and the other to Brax's. He's led over and the officer undoes the metal.
Ricky runs to Brax as buried her face in two his shirt.
Cal knows she's not doing this out of spite, he's Casey's dad, but as he listens to him comforting her, he knows it should be him.
"Rick, it's OK, Casey will look after him, " He says, stroking her hair as he mentions his brother with the same name, who died after protecting Brax from a bullet, from his arch enemy, Jake.
She hits him then, shouting. "He's dead, Brax,"
"Shush, " Brax soothes her, he's upset too.
The stone is secured in to place and it is then, Ricky realises the truth: She's no longer a mum.
Cal and Ricky return to the house and Ricky refuses Cal's offer of a chamomile tea, as she heads upstairs in to Casey's nursery. She takes a deep breath, before opening the door and seeing Casey's cot, she Knows there is one important person missing. She takes the cover off the mattress. She reaches in to the wardrobe, boxing up his clothes, shoes, teddies, she reaches for the potty she'd brought for when she got round to potty training him.
"You don't have to do that now," Cal says, watching as she tapes up a box. She places it by the door, until she's finished packing up the whole room and then she's giving his things to a charity shop.
"I'm fine,"
Cal sighs, he's not sure how to get through to her.
Cal meets with Ethan, who asks him how things are going, Cal doesn't know how to respond. Ethan rests a hand on his shoulder and tells him it'll take time.
Cal returns home, he's still on compassionate leave, he finds Ricky sat on the couch, the TV is on, but she's not watching. She turns to face him, Cal smiles, but he's shocked to see a vacant, look in her eyes, her mouth opens and the words that she speaks chill him.
"You killed my baby "
Cal stares. "I couldn't see him,"
"You should have saved him before me" Ricky says, anger in her eyes, as she grabs her car keys and bag. Cal follows in his own car.
"Casey wouldn't want you to do this. " He says, as he reaches the bar and tries to stop her from ordering another drink.
"Casey's not here" Ricky spits, angrily, she doesn't mean to direct her anger at him, she just finds it easy to.
Cal is struggling to take her weight, he now knows something of what Ethan struggles with when he drags him from the pub, after he's had one, too many drinks, after a shift.
In the corner of the cafe, a brunette is quietly sipping her own drink, it's the anniversary of her own son's death, her other children, don't want to be reminded of the baby brother they lost so have gone to stay at their dads, her first husband.
Cal notices the nurse that he works with, speaks too occasionally when she is helping him with a patient, but doesn't know that well outside of work. He nods at her, while trying to convince Ricky to come down from the chair.
"No" She lashes out.
Jessica stands up. "Why don't you leave her with me?"
"Right." Cal scratches the back of his neck, he's unsure whether to.
"It's fine, " Jessica reassures as she watches Cal go.
She heads over to the bar and sits on the stool, manages to talk Ricky down in to coming to one of the tables, she says it'll be quieter. Ricky agrees, and grabs her handbag, following Jessica to her table.
"I miss him, " Ricky mumbles.
Jessica nods, "I know"
"What?" Ricky asks, taking a sip of her coffee, she's brought to try to sober up.
The brunette sighs. "I lost my baby"
"I'm sorry," Ricky offers, she doesn't know this woman but she can't just walk by.
"I'm Jessica," she replies.
"I'm Erica, but people call me Ricky," She smiles
"Sure "Jessica nods her head, taking a sip of her own drink.
"How?" Ricky asks and she watches the other woman's face tense. "Sorry, "
She takes a deep breath and starts to talk: "It's fine, " She speaks, quietly. Before taking a deep breath, beginning to talk. "It was my wedding day, my husband and I crashed landing on an icy lake, we managed to get my other kids out, but we were plunged in to the water with Harry. Adam surfaced alone, before going down to the water to rescue me. I was unresponsive and unconscious. I needed operating on,"
"Sorry,"
"My son died, before I come round,"
Tears well up in her eyes, at the other woman's story and she stands, moving around to where Jessica is standing and she hugs her.
After her talk, it seems she has come to a decision about her future. She walks out of the pub, and heads back to her car, pulling her car keys from her handbag and then places them back in, she's in no state to drive home. She grabs a passing taxi and gives Cal's address.
Slipping her keys in to the lock, she pushes the door open and takes a deep breath, before walking through the hallway. She stands in the doorway of the living room and just watches Cal for a moment.
She almost throws herself in to Cal's arms.
"Whoa. " Cal is startled, at the action, she's been off with him for weeks.
"Are you alright?" He asks.
She nods, "I was angry at you "
"Grief affects in different ways. " Cal says knowingly, there have been times when he's broken the death of a child to distraught parents.
She looks at him, and sees something she saw on their wedding day, determination to save her. He's not letting her go.
They head in to the living room and Ricky digs out a photo album. She flicks through it, being careful not to rip the pages that protects the photos of Casey, tears fall from her cheek and on to the page.
"Hey, " Cal whispers, gently rubbing her cheek. "What's wrong?"
"I miss him, "
"I know, " Cal says as he strokes her hair. He thinks briefly back to Matilda, the daughter he thought he had, had, he had lost her, but even though it wasn't to death, it still hurt and Cal had secretly blamed Ethan for that.
The next morning, Cal and Ricky headed to the cemetery, Ricky was holding flowers and a bear against her chest, they are for Casey.
"Hey baby, " Ricky whispers, as they reach his grave, she gets on her knees, kneeling down. "Mummy's here, " She says as she looks at the stone, reading the words:
Baby Casey,
Only Son Of Darryl Braxton and Erica Sharpe.
Sleep tight, mate, "
She frowns as she organises the teddy and sorts the flowers out, she has noticed a small piece of paper, she picks it up and unfolds it.
"Sorry, I couldn't protect you mate, "
It is from Brax. She realises he is beating himself up.
"I'll leave you too it, " Cal says, a bit awkwardly.
Ricky looked up. "Cal?"
"You don't need me," He calls back as he stands further away.
"I do, " She calls, hoping he'd come to her.
Resting her head on his shoulder, they leave the cemetery, Ricky safe in the knowledge that Casey is looking after her baby.
"Beer, " Cal asks as he heads to the fridge and pulls out a bottle, and opens a draw to look for the bottle opener. Finding it, he pops the lid and takes a swig, returning to the living room where Ricky is waiting for him. She's fallen asleep, instead of risking waking her up by moving her. He heads upstairs and grabs a spare duvet that they kept in the airing cupboard and heading back down, he drapes it over her, before heading upstairs as he's on an early shift with Ethan tomorrow.
Early the next morning, Cal wakes to Ricky standing in the kitchen, making him breakfast.
She places it down on the table, freezes when she sees Casey's high chair.
Cal places his hands on her shoulders. "It's alright," He rubs soothing circles on her back.
He eats his breakfast and then goes to get ready for work. He kisses Ricky, tells her he'll see her later and off he went to work.
"Alright Nibbles?" He smirks as he sees his brother.
"Don't call me that, " Ethan replies, as he tries to concentrate on reading his patient notes.
"Oh, come on, "
"Cal, I'm trying to concentrate, " Ethan said as he tweaked his glasses.
"Dr. Hardy, " Lily mentioned. "Your patient is coughing up blood, "
"Right, " Ethan nodded, walking past Cal. "Thanks Lily, "
"Can you order an x - ray, please Dr. Chao?" Ethan requested.
Lily nodded and went to the Nurses Station to pick up the phone.
Ricky, meanwhile, was cleaning up, when she realised that Cal had forgotten his lunch. She put it in her handbag and went to her car. She unlocked the doors and got in to the drivers seat. She drove to the hospital and parked. Getting out, she noticed a few of his colleagues that she briefly knew: a brown haired consultant, a blonde haired staff nurse, and a brown haired staff nurse. She locked the car doors.
She was shocked to discover that a porter, with messily brown hair was pushing a wheelchair inside the double doors, but it wasn't the wheelchair that caught her attention, it was the patient sat in it. She followed the porter.
Cal noticed her. "What are you doing here?"
She opened her handbag and handed Cal his lunch. "That's Phoebe, " Ricky said, she was concerned for her best friend. She walked in to the cubicle.
She noticed that Phoebe was gasping for breath. "Pheebs, " She whispered, she didn't want to lose her friend. "Cal, " She shouted.
Cal placed an oxygen mask over her face.
Cal was looking over Phoebe's x - rays.
Phoebe was lying on the bed, while Ricky was sat at the bottom.
"We have your results. " Said Cal.
Ricky took her friends hand.
"Your suffering from Bronchitis, " Cal said, Phoebe frowned, not knowing what it meant.
"It's where you have a cough, "
"You can stay with us, " Ricky smiled. "You can have Case's room, "
"Thanks, " Phoebe grins as Cal gets her discharge papers.
Phoebe signs them and Ricky helps her to the car. She gets in the passengers seat, while Ricky hops in to the drivers seat, starting the engine.
Ricky placed the keys in to the lock and helped her inside.
"Make yourself at home, " Ricky offered as Phoebe headed in to the living room.
Ricky helped her friend up the stairs. They walked along the landing until Ricky come to a door. Taking a deep breath, she pressed down on the handle and walked in, standing by the door, Phoebe following.
The cot had been replaced by a double bed, the blinds had been replaced by curtains, the pictures of Casey have been taken down.
Ricky poured a glass of water and took it up to her friend as well as some paracteomol. Phoebe pooped two tablets in to her mouth.
"Sorry, I didn't come to the funeral, I was working, " Phoebe said, then she noticed the ring on her friends finger. She grabbed her hand. "No way, " She laughed, as she stared at the ring.
"Yes!" Ricky laughed back, leaning in to her friend.
And that's how Cal found them on his return, his wife laughing with her mate. Not wanting to disturb them, he grabbed his wallet, left a note for Ricky, telling her he's off to the pub with Jez, Max, Iain, Ethan. He closes the door and heads off to the pub, to find that his brother had a pint waiting for him.
The brother's took their drinks to a table, leaving the lads in a conversation about which female members they found fit.
"Alicia, " Jez said.
"Lilly, " Iain said, taking a sip of his drink.
And the rest of the lads, stared at him. Lily Chao was an icy queen, how could he love an icy queen, but Iain reasoned that Jac Naylor had found love with Nurse Jonny Maconie, so why couldn't he maybe find it with Lily?
"How are you coping?" Ethan asked.
"You know me, Ethan, " Cal shrugged.
"Yes, I do, that's why I'm worried. "
"I'm fine, mate, " Ethan looks unconvinced as his brother speaks.
Ethan nods as he offers his brother some wise words "Cal, if you need me, I'm here, "
To cover up how touched he was Cal said gruffly, "Whatever, Nibbles, "
But Ethan knew that he apperiated the words as they were brothers and brothers were there for each other, no matter what happened.
Thanks for reading, really enjoyed writing this. Sorry about the really long length. Wasn't going to include Ricky's friend, Phoebe, she just kind of fitted in while I was writing. Wasn't going to write in the Jac reference either, but I love her. Sorry for any missing words and spelling mistakes in this chapter, I did go over it, a few times but even I got tired, think it was due to the length it was. I was going to post this last night, but it just kept getting longer and longer, and I forgot about it.
I'm not sure if you hold a deceased child, while in the chapel of rest, so sorry if you can't.
I apologise for the fact that Jessica was badly written, I usually find her quite easy, but I don't think she's ever spoken about her wedding day and as she was in this chapter, I had to find to make her feel comfortable about talking about it.
Next chapter: Ethan, ill, expects sympathy from his colleagues, but is surprised when he gets little. Prompted by Sweet - as - honey.
