This story is set in two halfs: the first part takes place when Cal is 16, Ethan is 18, the second half of it is set five years later. The chapter is also rated T for self harm, and schizophrenia.

The Secret Life Of Casualty.

Chapter

"Ethan is better than you."

"Your mum should have got rid of you"

"Please stop," Cal said, putting his hands over his ears, desperate for the poisonous voice to stop, it was his dad, who was dead, even now he was haunting him, he needed to find a way to cope with the emotional trauma. Knowing Ethan was in his riom studying for some important exams he hac coming up, Cal headed down the stairs, in to the kitchen and opened the cutlery draw, finding what he was looking for, he headed back up the stairs.

"Ethan would kill me if he knew what I was doing" Cal thought to himself as he dragged the knife across his arm. It stung and Cal tears sprang to his eyes, but he carried on, when he heard footsteps on the stairs, he put the knife under his pillow and pulled his sleeve down but the blood showed through his top. He continued cutting when he left stressed or sad and had managed to hide his scars from Ethan, by wearing long sleeved tops, even in summer.

Five Years Later.

It was something Cal thought he was getting good at, but it began to fall apart when he secured a placement at the ED. Ne found the fast moving hospital, scary, doctors barking orders at one another.

"Can I have everyones attention, please?" Charlie asked.

Adam, Jess, Tess, Jade, Ruby, Linda, Robyn, Will, Archie, and Jacob.

"This is Caleb, he's going to be on placement here tor a few weeks." Charlie said.

Cal was observing Jess, who was taking a patients blood, but when she was called away, Cal accidentally mixed the tubes of blood. When Jess returned the patient was in distress

"You should have called for someone" Jess said

"You left me alone" Cal said, feeling like this was her fault as she attached the patient to fluids, she failed to see Cal pick up a scapel. He walked away, to the bathroom and dragged the scapel across his hissed the pain reminding him of what he did he he was a teen.

Blood spilled from his arms and he felt Dizzy, with a pain in his head.

"Can I have some help in here?" Ethan yelled. After coming out of RESUs and talking to Jess, who said she hadn't seen Cal since she'd given him a dressing gown, Ethan checked the peace garden, he wasn't there, the staff room, he'd found it was empty.

"Etham, you need to come with me" Said Jacob.

Ethan ran to the bathroom and booted the door down.

"Cal, can you hear me?" he said, tapping his face and putting him on a mesk. "He needs his wounds cleaning and put on a drip"

Jacob nodded and between them they managed to get Cal in to in a cubicle,

"He's not well, Ethan." Zoe told him.

Ethan nodded, he knew this, but he didn't know how to access the help, that would be free as he worked for the NHS. But Zoe had an idea, reaching for the phone. Ethan left the office to go and be with Cal. He was asleep when Ethan walked in and held his hand.

"This is Kirsty Clemants, she's a mental health nurse, she used to work here" Zoe introduced. Kirsty had another doc with her.

"Caleb"

"He prefers Cal"

"Cal" Kirsty corrected. "Under the mental health act, section 2, we are taking you to a lace of saftey"

"I din't want to go, Ethan." Cal cried, leaning his head on his shoulder.

"I know, mate, but it'll help you get better. "

Ethan went with Cal as the car was waiting to drive him to the secure unit. The boys shared a hug.

Cal had to wear an ID bracelet and was searched to see if he had any sharp objects on him, when it was sure that he never, he was given a room.

Ethan cried when he got home, he felt like he'd given up on his brother.

Two weeks later, aside from having a call with Cal, Ethan hadnt had much contact with him and now Ethan was seeing Cal for the first time. Ethan drove to the building.

"Hi, my names Ethan Hardy and I'm here to see Caleb Knight." he said as he was buzzed in to the building and walked up to the reception desk.

The recepionist nodded. "You'll need to sign the visitors book and wear a visitors badge"

Ethan nodded and signed his name, pinning the bage to his grey jumper.

Cal was in his room, when a worker took Ethan down a corridor.

"Ethan" Cal said, happily.

"Hey mate" Ethan said, hugging his brother.

Cal took Ethan to the games room.

"This is Aaron" Cal intrduced as the three of them sat in the lounge, where a TV was secured to the wall

"Nice to meet you, Aaron" Ethan said, politely.

"What do you do for work, Aaron?" Ethan asked, noticing his wedding ring.

Seeing Ethan spot his wedding ring, Aaron spoke: "My wife's name is name is Jane, we have three kids: Lucy, Ellie and Josh. Josh, is 10 and in to his footie, Lucy is six and likes barbies, Ellie is 8 and enjoys make up"

Ethan nodded, the only experience he and Cal had with kids were the ones who came in through the ED doors.

Ethan informed Cal that he had to go, but promised to return soon.

The next time, Ethan returned Cal's doc had good news: he was going home

"I'm scared about going home, Ethan." Cal said, a look on his face, which Ethan could only describe as fear

"Why?" Ethan asked, surely going home would be a good thing?

"Because being at home reminds me of dad."

"Then move in with me" Ethan suggested. Cal looked confused.

"I've recently brought a flat on the Farmead Estate. " Ethan said, it was small, but it was his and he was proud of it.

Cal nodded. "Thanks mate"

"What are brothers for?" Ethan said, patting Cal on he shoulder. Ethan then told Cal he had to go as he was due in work.

On his break at work, instead of going in to the staff room, like he mormally would, Ethan headed up the stairs to Connie's office. He knocked twice before hearing her say "Come in" and he pushed the handle down, standing in front of her desk, feeling like he was back in school.

"What do you want, Doctor Hardy?" Connie asked, with an raised eyebrow.

"I was wondering if I could book some time off?" Ethan asked. "As your aware, Cal's just been realsed from a secure unit."

"Yes, I'm aware " Connie replied, raising an eyebrow at him.

"Cal needs someone to look after him" Ethan said

"I see" Connie pulled up Ethan's rota on her computer and saw that he was working the next few weeks. "I could swap you with Doctor Noble"

"Thank you," said Ethan, grateful that he was getting the chance to support his brother throough this difficult time for him.

Connie nodded, as Ethan left her office, heading back down the stairs, in to the staff room. Thankfully, it was empty so there would be no questions about why he was leaving early.

"Ethan, what are you doing here?" Cal asked.

"Mrs Beachaump let me go early" Ethan said, taking his coat off and hanging it up on the banister, he hated lying to his brother but he knew

"I don't need looking after" Cal told him.

Ethan sat on the-couch, knowing why Cal was being stubborn, but also knowing that if he had just come out of a secure unit, he'd want Cal to look after him.

A knock on the door surprised both boys as they weren't expecting any one.

"Aaron" Said Cal, not excepting to see him on his doorstep. "What you doing here?"

"Thought we could hang out?" Aaron said.

Tired after having a kick about, in the local park, discovering that Aaron used to be a rugby instructor, but after loosing his leg while playing rubgy, he fell in to a depression, the boys said their goodbyes to Aaron and headed home. They stopped at the local takeout on the way and Cal ordered donna meat while Ethan went for the healthy option.

Ethan turned to Cal. "I love you"

He tucked the blanket further around Cal. "Me to mate"