A/N: CW: casual joking about molestation by priests


"I'm bored," Trixie huffed.

Chloe looked up from the list she'd been making. Her mind had been running a mile a minute with tasks she'd need to complete once she got back to work and things that needed to be done around the house. Making the list gave her something to do, and seeing each task written out in order of importance made them feel less overwhelming than when they were aimlessly swirling around in her head, at risk of being forgotten.

She frowned sympathetically at her daughter. "I know, baby. I am, too. But when the doctor came to check on me this morning she said I might be able to go home tomorrow."

"Oh, really? That's wonderful news!" Penelope chirped, flipping the magazine she'd been skimming through closed and looking back and forth between Trixie and Chloe. "You know, I was thinking that maybe I could take Trixie out today, just the two of us, so that we can spend some time together before I'm on the road again."

Trixie's head snapped toward Chloe. "Can I, Mommy? Please?" She stretched the word pleadingly, her hands clasped in front of her. She stared up at Chloe with big round eyes, her lips pouting into a frown—a classic puppy-eyed look, one she had perfected years ago.

"Sure, Monkey. That sounds like a great idea."

"Yes!" Trixie shouted, hopping up out of her chair. She jumped up and down with excitement, bursting at the seams with days' worth of pent up energy.

Chloe laughed and sent her mom an amused look. "You're gonna have your hands full with this one today."

"Oh, we'll have fun!" Penelope reassured, smiling fondly at her granddaughter. "She keeps me young."

"Did you have something planned?" Chloe asked. For the most part, she trusted her mother with Trixie, but there would always be an underlying suspicion that she had an ulterior motive for spending time with her granddaughter—one that ended at an audition she had lined up somewhere.

"Not yet." Penelope shrugged. "What do you want to do, Trix?"

"Umm..." Trixie stopped bouncing to bring her finger to her chin as she considered.

"How about the aquarium?" Chloe suggested. "She's been doing a unit on marine life in her science class and has been really excited about it." She looked at Trixie. "Haven't you?"

"Yeah! Nana, can we go to the aquarium? I want to see the penguins and the seals and sea turtles and eels! Oh, and the sharks, too!"

"You know what? I do love penguins."

"You do?"

"It sounds like you and I are going to the aquarium today!"

The little girl squealed as she grabbed the stuffed monkey Frank had given her from the chair it'd been propped up on. "Can I bring Mona?"

"Oh, why not!"

Trixie danced enthusiastically around the room with Mona, twirling in circles with the toy outstretched in her arms and singing about all the animals she wanted to see.

"I think the last few days have been a bit of a roller coaster for her," Penelope noted quietly. "It'll be good to get her out and do something fun, take her mind off of you being hurt."

Chloe frowned a little and chewed on her lip. Guilt gnawed at her, because she knew that Trixie worried about her. And she knew exactly what that felt like. Penelope was right; a day away from the hospital would be good for her.

"Thanks, mom. I appreciate it."

"Well, I guess we'd better get going." She reached for her bag and pulled it onto her lap, her brow crinkling for a second at the weight of it before her expression relaxed into one of recognition. "Oh! Oh, I almost forgot. I brought something for you."

"Oh?" Chloe eyed the bag with curiosity. "What is it?"

"Well, we had so much fun reliving old memories with Frank yesterday, I thought you and Lucifer might like to reminisce again today," she said, pulling a photo album from the bag.

The previous day had been filled with such sweet nostalgia. Chloe had felt warm and full; grateful for all the good moments and wonderful people that had shaped her into the person she was now.

It was always so hard for her to talk about her dad; she didn't like to because it reminded her of how much she missed him and how much it hurt that he was gone. But talking about him with her family who had loved him just as much had been nice. She'd enjoyed telling Trixie about her grandpa; she knew her daughter was curious about him, and even though the memories hurt sometimes, she wanted Trixie to grow up knowing who he was.

Chloe took the album from Penelope and rested it on her lap. A smile instantly tugged at her lips when she opened it to the first page and saw the photos nestled underneath the thin clear plastic.

In the top left corner, she and Lucifer sat side by side on Frank's roof, smiling down at whoever had taken the photo—probably Frank, but she couldn't remember exactly. They'd spent so many warm summer days perched up on that roof. On the day the photo had been taken, a beautiful blue sky served as the backdrop, while the sun must have been shining in their eyes by the way they squinted at the camera.

She traced her finger over the outline of Lucifer's face, a soft affection bubbling up inside her along with a fierce protectiveness. Already by the time that picture was taken, he'd been through so much—more pain and heartbreak than any child should ever have to experience.

Penelope leaned over her shoulder. "So, what's going on with you and Lucifer? Are you two together now?"

"Mom." Chloe nodded toward Trixie, but the little girl was playing over near the window with Mona, hardly paying them any attention.

She wasn't surprised that her mother was curious. After all, she had kissed Lucifer right in front of her the other day. But while Penelope had always been nosy about Chloe's love life, they'd never had the sort of relationship where she confided in her about those kinds of things.

Penelope shrugged, an exaggerated innocence lacing her tone. "What? Can't a mother be interested in her daughter's love life? You know, John and I always thought you two would end up together."

Chuckling, Chloe shook her head softly. "I know. Dad used to give me so much crap about having a crush on Lucifer."

At the time, it had embarrassed her, and she'd hated that her feelings for Lucifer had been so obvious to those around her when she'd tried so hard to keep them buried, tried so hard to deny them even to herself.

But the truth was, Lucifer had always felt inevitable to her, even back then.

The timing had never been right, but she'd loved Lucifer for as long as she could remember, and those feelings had never gone away, not even when she'd been married to Dan if she was being honest with herself. They'd been muted, dampened, while her love for Dan had grown, but they'd always remained, just under the surface.

Lucifer had always been it for her.

"Well…?" Penelope prompted.

"We haven't had the chance to talk about it yet," Chloe answered honestly.

"But…?"

Chloe swallowed the urge to roll her eyes. "But what?"

"You want to be together?"

Realizing her mother wasn't going to let it go, she sighed. "I want to be with him," she relented, warmth unexpectedly flooding her cheeks at the admission. "And I hope he wants to be with me, too."

"Oh, of course he wants to be with you!" Penelope asserted without a hint of uncertainty. "That man has loved you since you were eight years old."

"Mom." Chloe nodded again toward Trixie, hoping Penelope would keep her voice down.

While she wouldn't admit it, her mother's assuredness about Lucifer's feelings for her was reassuring. She didn't doubt that they felt the same for one another, but old insecurities had a way of creeping up without a rhyme or a reason. She swallowed them down, focusing on the kisses they'd shared and the way he looked at her, soft and tender with stars in his eyes.

This time, Penelope's exclamation grabbed Trixie's attention, and she came bounding over, pushing herself up on the edge of the bed to see the pictures in the album. Chloe tilted the book a little to make it easier for her to see.

Trixie looked up at Penelope, leaning onto the bed so that her feet swung up off the floor. "Can Lucifer come with us to the aquarium?"

"I think he would rather stay here with your mom today."

"Oh." She planted her feet on the floor again and looked at Chloe. "Is Lucifer your best friend? Like Maze and Ava are mine?"

Chloe had to stop herself from shaking her head at Maze's best friend status for her daughter.

"He is," she confirmed, and Trixie smiled, pleased with the answer.

Penelope looked at her watch. "Maybe we should get going, unless you want us to wait until Lucifer gets here?"

"No, that's okay. Go ahead. You'll want to get an early start to make sure you have time to see everything. I'll be fine, and I'm sure Lucifer will be here soon."

"Okay." Penelope held out her hand. "Ready, Trix?"

"Yeah!"

Trixie clambered halfway up onto the bed to give her mom a quick hug. Chloe leaned sideways as much as she could to meet her, still quite sore from her injuries.

"Have fun! Love you," she told her, and then Trixie was rounding the bed to grab Penelope's hand.

"Bye, Mommy!"

"Have fun with Lucifer," Penelope sing-songed on her way out.

—August 1995—

Chloe poked her head out of Lucifer's bedroom window. Her best friend sat on the roof, his long legs stretched out in front of him.

"Hey," she said, accidentally startling him.

He shoved a hand behind his back as he reflexively turned to face her, the wide-eyed panic on his face making her laugh. When he saw that it was only her, he relaxed and revealed the joint that he'd been hiding behind his back.

"Hello," he greeted with an easy grin.

She set a can of Coke on the windowsill and then climbed onto the roof, plopping down beside him. The scratchy shingles were rough against her legs, so she pulled her knees up to her chest and then dropped a big bag of Doritos in between them. She popped a chip into her mouth and munched on it happily.

"Frank always has the best snacks," she noted after she'd swallowed. "Mom keeps pestering me about my weight. Chloe," she said, pitching her voice into a mocking, nasally imitation of her mother, "If you want to be cast in lead roles, you have to look a certain way. I know it's not fair, but that's just the way it is."

Lucifer made a sympathetic noise and held out the joint in offering.

She eyed it warily for a moment before finally shaking her head. "My dad would kill me."

"Well, your dad isn't here, now is he?" He bumped his shoulder against hers. "And he'd do no such thing. At worst you'd get a stern talking to."

It was just a saying, but she instantly regretted it. She knew she was reallylucky to have the dad that she did, and even though her mom could be controlling and critical, she was lucky to have her, too. Especially compared to everything Lucifer had been through. But now that he was safe and had found a home with Frank, she didn't like to think about his painful past.

"Oh come on!" he cajoled when she still hadn't taken the joint. "What happened to that rebellious kid who stole her dad's things, punched bullies in the face, drank pilfered wine from-"

"Alright, fine," she relented, interrupting him before he could go on about all of the ways she used to be fun, but was now lame, at least according to his school friends. "Give it here."

A pleased smile spread slowly across his face, and she tried to ignore the way it made her stomach flip flop.

She took the proffered joint and tentatively brought it to her lips. As she inhaled, smoke filled her lungs, and she coughed violently, her body reflexively attempting to eject it. Tears stung her eyes. Her throat felt like it was on fire as she gasped for breaths in between cough after cough after cough.

Chuckling, Lucifer swiped the joint from her fingers and took another hit.

She continued to cough as she slid backwards up the shingles to reach for her Coke in the windowsill. She took a giant swig, hoping to wash away the smoke and ease the burning sensation in her throat.

Lucifer finished off the joint and leaned back on his elbows, closing his eyes and tipping his head toward the sun.

"Why do people like that?" she asked once her coughing fit had faded. She wiped away tears from the corners of her eyes and watched as Lucifer's shoulders lifted in a small shrug.

"Makes you feel good," he replied, his eyes still closed.

The golden rays of the afternoon sun washed over his tanned skin, highlighting the smattering of freckles across the tops of his cheeks and the bridge of his nose.

Chloe tore her eyes away from him, humming doubtfully—she didn't feel anything—and then reached into the bag of chips again.

"So where were you all weekend?"

She heaved a loud sigh. "Mom decided last minute that we had to make an appearance at a sci-fi convention in Vegas."

He laughed. "The Vampire Queen could never disappoint her fans."

Chloe rolled her eyes. "She didn't even tell my dad ahead of time. She literally just left him a post-it note explaining where we went. I don't know how he puts up with her sometimes."

She'd asked her dad about it when they'd returned home. John had only shrugged and said that her mother's spontaneity was one of the things he loved about her. She'd thought about it as she was falling asleep that night and couldn't help drawing a parallel between her parents and her friendship with Lucifer. She was so much like her dad, and though it was difficult to admit, in a lot of ways, Lucifer was like her mom.

While her mother's brand of spontaneity annoyed her, Lucifer's excited her. She thought that maybe Penelope brought the same kind of thrill to John's life. Thinking about it that way helped her understand her parents a little better—they were so different, opposites in so many ways, yet they worked, and they clearly loved each other very much.

"I mean, that's just classic Penelope Decker behavior."

She shook her head. "Yeah. I guess," she said, and then leaned back on her elbows to mirror Lucifer's position. The sun felt warm on her skin, and she closed her eyes. "Are you ready for school tomorrow?"

"It's school," he replied, and Chloe could hear the shrug in his words.

"Well, yeah, but it's high school. Seems like a big deal."

"Not to me." Sensing his eyes on her, she cracked one of her own to see his smile. "I wish you were going to be there, though."

Her stomach twisted pleasantly with his words. She knew he only meant that he wanted her there because they were friends; there was nothing more to it than that, but heat rose to her cheeks anyway. It felt good that he wanted her around; it made her feel special.

She turned away from him in an attempt to hide her reaction and watched as a squirrel skittered up the trunk of a tree. It made its way along a branch, before hopping to a neighboring tree and disappearing from view. "Me too."

"Penny sure is stubborn, isn't she?"

They'd begged her mother all summer to let Chloe take a break from acting and attend regular high school even just for one year, but Penelope had held her ground.

"She says with my acting taking off, it'd be a mistake. That auditioning needs to be my focus. If I want to be an actress-"

"Do you, though?" Lucifer interrupted.

It was the question that ran through her mind constantly. She was missing out on so much, and for what? She wasn't passionate about acting the way her mother was; in fact, she mostly just tolerated it. She rarely got cast in lead roles, usually playing the quirky best friend or the mean girl instead. Something about her look, whatever that meant. Regardless, it hadn't been nice to hear.

She shrugged. Even though she had mixed feelings about it, acting was all she knew. "What else is there?"

"When we were kids you wanted to be a detective."

She had wanted to be a detective and help people like her dad did, but that had been a childish fantasy, a kid playing make-believe.

"Maybe," she admitted with a sigh. "It doesn't matter, though. Mom wants me to act, so I act. There's not much I can do about it, you know?"

He squinted at her, unconvinced.

Because Lucifer did what he wanted, consequences be damned—though he never had any consequences, the charming ass. It was something Chloe envied about him. She played by the rules, did as she was told, but the rules never seemed to apply to Lucifer.

"What's your schedule like?" she asked, changing the subject.

He began to rattle off the classes he was taking, filling her in on what he'd heard about each of his teachers—who was easy, who was hard. Which classes he could get away with skipping and which teachers would give him a detention for pissing them off.

She listened, wishing she had her own class schedule that she could compare with his to see which classes and teachers they had in common.

And in the back of her mind, the idea of becoming a detective made a home for itself. There it would linger for years to come, always a desire that seemed just out of reach, until it wasn't.


"Good morning."

Lucifer's voice brought Chloe out of the memory. She looked up from the paperback she held open in front of her, the one she hadn't actually been reading, and smiled at him.

In the end, she'd decided to become a detective as a way to honor her father after his passing, but she wondered if the idea would have occurred to her if Lucifer hadn't planted the seed in her mind on that rooftop long ago. He'd been the first person who made her feel like becoming a detective wasn't just a pipe dream. His unwavering faith in her had given her faith in herself.

He made his way into her room, carrying a to-go cup with the Beelzebean logo stamped across the front.

"Hot, this time," he assured when he saw that her attention had gravitated toward the coffee.

"Thank you," she replied, taking the cup from him.

Cautiously, she took a sip, the sweet taste of caramel melding delightfully with the bitterness of the coffee. It was just the right temperature. She could feel the effects of the caffeine almost immediately, clearing the lingering sleepy fog from her brain, making her sharper and more alert, while the warmth of the drink settled pleasantly in her belly.

She hummed a little in appreciation, and Lucifer grinned proudly.

"Where is everyone?" he asked, taking a seat on one of the chairs by her bedside.

"Dan's working. Mom took Trixie to the aquarium. I think everyone's starting to go a little stir crazy from being cooped up in here for the past few days."

He nodded. "The urchin was quite the ball of energy yesterday, wasn't she?"

"Well, she was excited to see Frank. If you thought she was energetic yesterday, you should have seen her this morning. I actually kind of feel bad for my mom." Chloe laughed. "I think Trixie's gonna wear her out."

Lucifer chuckled softly. A moment of quiet settled over them, and Lucifer gazed at her with shy eyes. She wondered what he was thinking as he looked at her, her face still swollen and bruised.

"Did Frank get settled okay?"

"He did. I think he was happy to be home. He's already back at St. Morgan's today."

Frank was nothing if not devoted to his congregation, so it didn't surprise Chloe in the slightest that he'd already be back to work.

"I felt bad that he cut his trip short because of me, but I'm glad he was here yesterday. It was fun to reminisce."

Lucifer hummed in agreement. "I hadn't thought about some of those memories in a long time."

"Me either." She reached for the album that lay on the bed near her hip and pulled it onto her lap. "Mom brought this album with her this morning. Since it's just us today, I thought we could look through it together. Reminisce some more, if you want."

"Oh?" He craned his neck and leaned closer to the bed as she opened it to the first page.

"Yeah. I think this one is mostly pictures from high school." She turned the album and pushed it closer to him so he could see it better.

His lips pulled into a smile as he looked at the first picture, the one of them sitting on the roof together. "I used to climb out there on nights when I couldn't sleep. Try to see the stars."

Chloe knew that while Lucifer had stopped talking about the stars for a long time after he'd found out the truth about his father and his upbringing, he'd never stopped finding comfort in them.

"I was just thinking about how we used to hang out up there all the time. Lay in the sun and eat all of the snacks Frank used to buy for us."

"It was better than hanging out at your place and having to eat carrots and celery sticks as a snack."

"Trust me, I know."

"…or worse, your dad's stale popcorn."

"Hey," Chloe defended through a laugh. "You liked the stale popcorn. We both did."

He didn't argue, and Chloe knew it was because he knew it was true. He only chuckled and leaned further over the bed, trying to see the other pictures on the page.

After a quick glance at the open door to her room, she patted the spot on the bed next to her. She didn't know if it was allowed, but she also didn't care. "Sit here?"

"You want me to squeeze into that tiny space with you?"

"I think we can manage," she said through a grin. She shifted to make more room, wincing a little as the movement irritated her bruised ribs.

"Chloe," Lucifer began to protest, worry in his voice.

"I'm okay," she reassured as she settled back against the mattress. "It'll be easier for both of us to see if you're sitting next to me."

He hesitated for only another moment before he gave in. "Alright. As long as you're sure it won't hurt you."

"It won't," she said.

Climbing onto the bed, he stretched his long frame into the empty space beside her, careful not to jostle the mattress too much. He was so skinny that it wasn't even that tight of a squeeze.

She nudged under his arm, and he looked down at her, a small, surprised smile pulling at one corner of his mouth. She returned the smile, hoping it conveyed what she wanted it to—that this was what she wanted, that he was what she wanted, and that she wasn't going to change her mind any time soon.

He lifted his arm so that she could settle against him, and she made herself comfy, enjoying his familiar scent and the warm weight of his arm draped over her shoulders. She let her head fall against his chest and exhaled, long and content, releasing some of the tension and anxiety that had been lingering inside her since the struggle with the perp that had landed her here.

He grabbed the album and pulled at it until it was resting half on each of their laps.

"Oh." He tapped the second picture on the page. "Is this from one of Brian Anderson's parties?"

In the picture, Chloe sat on a porch railing of an unfamiliar house. She was laughing, her arm wrapped around a pillar. Lucifer stood beside her, a cigarette hung loosely between his lips, a smug grin on his face. Lights dangled from strings above them, and their eyes glowed red from the camera flash in the dark night. Maze stood off to the side, an unimpressed look on her face and her arms crossed over her chest.

Chloe shrugged. "I don't know. Most of your high school friends all blur together in my mind. But that was the first party I ever went to with you…and the last for a long time. It was…" She paused as she thought about how to describe it. "…an eventful night."

"Oh," he said. She tilted her head to look up at him and could almost see as the memories slipped into place. His lips pursed into a cringey sort of frown. "I remember that night."

—March 1997—

The party was loud.

The walls seemed to thump to the beat of "No Diggity" as the song blared through the stereo in the living room.

Lucifer slithered his way through flailing limbs and grinding bodies. Chloe followed him, her fingers clutched in the fabric of his shirt so as not to get separated, her curious eyes darting around the packed space.

It was like a scene straight out of a movie.

The furniture had been pushed out of the way so there was more room to dance, and a crowd of teenagers had packed themselves into the small space where they bounced and sang and rolled their hips to the music. Most held red solo cups or bottles of beer in the air, and every so often a particularly vigorous dance move would send liquid sloshing over the edge, leaving sticky puddles on polished wood floors.

No one seemed to care—the atmosphere was somehow both laidback and electric at the same time, and Chloe could feel a crackle of excitement ignite in her veins, the hair on her arms standing on end as her heart pumped in time to the music.

People shouted at Lucifer as they made their way through the crowd, the ones within reach pulling him in for a hug or a pound shake or to clap him on the back.

It made her think back to that timid kid who'd been so lonely; who'd been made fun of for being different. If only that kid could see himself now. He was magnetic—everyone wanted to be friends with him, to date him, or to be him.

"Lucifer! Hey, man! Glad you could make it," a voice called out.

"Brian!" he shouted over the music with a smile as Brian slung an arm over his shoulders. "How's your brother? Everything good now?"

"Everything's great! Thanks, man. I owe you one."

"I'm sure I'll think of some way for you to repay me," he replied with a mischievous grin.

Chloe watched the interaction with curiosity, wondering what type of favor Lucifer had done for this guy. Brian's eyes darted to her, and she saw them light up with recognition.

"This is my friend Chloe," Lucifer introduced. "And this is Brian—it's his house."

"Chloe Decker!" Brian snapped his fingers in recognition. "You're in that new show Awakening! It's hella good!"

Chloe smiled at the compliment, a blush settling onto her cheeks. "Thanks."

"She's amazing! Chloe's going to be a star; mark my words," Lucifer added with pride in his voice, draping an arm over her shoulders and pulling her in for a sideways hug.

When she looked up at him from the corner of her eye, he was beaming at Brian. His pride in her made her heart flutter, warmth spreading all the way through her, to the very tips of her fingers and toes. She bit her lip to hide her grin.

"Do you know where Maze is?"

"Uh," Brian tore his starry-eyed gaze from Chloe and back to Lucifer, "yeah. I think she's out on the back porch."

After promising to find Brian again later, Lucifer led her into the kitchen. A few people sat around the table while others raided the fridge for alcohol.

"Oh my god," a girl from the table exclaimed. "You're Chloe Decker! From The Social Life. I used to love that show!"

Chloe nodded and smiled politely, giving a small wave in her direction.

Delight danced in Lucifer's eyes as they found hers. He raised an amused eyebrow, and she shook her head and shrugged her shoulder to indicate that she was just as surprised, not at all used to people knowing who she was.

She didn't consider herself famous, not by a long shot, but she'd been on a few shows that had been popular with kids her age. The Social Life, a few years ago on Disney, and now Awakening which had begun airing its first season last fall.

The girl at the table turned to her friend. "Oh my god, Alex! Can you believe that we are at the same party as Chloe Decker?"

"Everyone knows Lucifer's friends with her, Michelle," Alex replied, unimpressed.

"Oh." Michelle's face fell at the clear brush-off from her friend. "Well then how come she's never come to a party with him before?"

Alex shrugged in a how should I know? gesture and took a swig of her beer.

It wasn't that Chloe hadn't wanted to come to a party before this one. Lucifer had invited her a few times, but she'd been so busy with the new show, events with the cast and crew, networking, and schoolwork that she hadn't been able to make it work until now.

"Come on," Lucifer said with a chuckle, pulling her out the back door.

They stepped out onto a covered porch that wrapped around both sides of the house. All around the outer edge of the porch, string lights dangled from the ceiling, lighting the space in a warm, magical glow.

A set of steps led down to a large in-ground pool where people were swimming, shrieking joyfully as they dove in and splashed one another. A hot tub sat in the corner of the porch nearest the pool, and two couples lounged there, talking quietly while pointing and laughing at their friends in the pool.

"Lucifer!" A familiar voice called from the opposite end of the porch. Maze sat cross-legged on a porch swing, a joint held loosely in her fingers. Her boyfriend, Trey, sat beside her with his arm thrown casually over her shoulders.

"'Bout time you showed up," Maze said with a nod as they approached, but then her eyes landed on Chloe and her grin fell. "You brought The Buzzkill?"

Trey snorted.

Embarrassment twisted Chloe's stomach as heat flooded her cheeks. She hated that nickname.

"Maze," Lucifer warned, his tone clearly disapproving.

The girl frowned, her eyebrows knitting together. If she were anyone else, Chloe might have said she was pouting. "You're never any fun when she's around."

"I'm always fun," he shot back arrogantly, cocky smirk in place.

"Well then go get your ass a drink." She gestured with a nod to the cooler on the other side of the porch. There was a challenge in her voice, almost like she thought he wouldn't.

But he nodded easily, and turned to Chloe. "Do you want a drink?"

A nervous excitement zipped through her, assent on the tip of her tongue, but an unpleasant memory from the previous weekend sprang into her mind, making her hesitate.

She and her mom had attended an awards ceremony, and Penelope had had too much to drink. Chloe ended up having to be the one to figure out how to get them home safely.

In the car, they had argued, and Penelope had criticized her, calling her ungrateful and unappreciative of everything she did for her, of all the sacrifices she'd made to her own career just to help advance Chloe's. And maybe she was right, maybe Chloe was ungrateful, but she hadn't asked her mother to do those things for her. She hadn't asked for this life at all.

Even though she'd been hurt and angry when they'd arrived home, she still helped her mom up the stairs and into bed.

"Did I embarrass myself?" Penelope had mumbled, peering up at her through unfocused eyes and droopy lids.

"No," Chloe reassured, pulling the blankets up over her. "No. You were the life of the party."

She'd smiled at that.

As Chloe straightened, ready to fall into her own bed and put the night behind her, Penelope reached out and grabbed her hand, stopping her.

Her mother's smile slipped, fading into something sad and nostalgic. Chloe could almost feel her yearning as Penelope examined her, her eyes roving over her face.

"You're so pretty, darling. You look so much like me when I was your age." It was true. Chloe couldn't deny it even though she hated that they looked so similar. Penelope stroked her cheek. "So young. You still have your whole life ahead of you."

She sounded envious, but not exactly in a bitter way—it was wistful in a way that made Chloe feel sad for her mother. She was stuck longing for a time that had long passed, and it kept her from being happy now.

The next morning, Penelope had pretended like none of it had happened. And for all Chloe knew, maybe she didn't remember. But there was something in her eyes, in the way she struggled to meet Chloe's, that told her she did.

Penelope had said such awful things to her that night, ugly thoughts she never would have revealed had it not been for the alcohol in her system lowering her inhibitions. Chloe didn't have an ugliness like that inside of herself, she hoped she never would, but she did have secrets of her own. Ones that she kept locked away, ones she was afraid her subconscious might reveal if she were drunk.

Chloe always had to be the responsible one, simply because her mom wasn't, and someone had to be. But she was tired of it. Tonight, she just wanted to be Chloe, an average sixteen year old girl with no responsibilities, who didn't have to worry about her image, or being a role model, or how her actions might impact her career.

She glanced around at all of the kids spread out across the porch. They were all so normal and led lives that she only knew about from the characters she played on TV.

Tonight, she wanted to be one of them. She wanted to feel free.

"Yes," she said, giving Lucifer a decisive nod. "I'd love a drink."

His grin widened, pulling at his cheeks. He lifted an intrigued eyebrow, his dark eyes twinkling with mischief. She knew Lucifer wouldn't have judged her if she'd decided to pass on the drink, but it made her stomach twist into warm knots to know that she had pleasantly surprised him with her answer.

"So, Decker, you slummin' it tonight or what?" Maze asked, giving her an unenthused look as Lucifer went to grab their drinks.

Chloe's brow furrowed. "What do you mean?"

"Giving up the glitz and glamour of Hollywood for a house party with us mere mortals?"

She didn't know why Maze disliked her so much—she always said that Chloe made Lucifer boring, but it seemed to go deeper than that, and her comment proved it. Chloe was hardly big-headed when it came to acting, but Maze made it seem like she thought she was better than them all.

She tried not to let it show, but it bothered her that Lucifer's other friends didn't like her. It made her feel like even more of an outsider than not going to high school did; she wasn't just unsure of her place in the world, but she also didn't know where she fit into Lucifer's world.

She refused to take the bait or let Maze see how much she affected her. "Yeah…sure."

"At least your outfit checks out," Maze continued, eyeing her up and down appreciatively. She bit into her lip as her gaze lingered for just a second too long on the black bra that was visible underneath the black mesh top she wore.

Chloe fought the urge to cross her arms over her chest to cover herself up, her eyes drifting to Trey who didn't seem to care at all that his girlfriend was checking her out.

When Lucifer returned, he handed her a beer and then slung his arm casually over her shoulders. She immediately felt more at ease with him beside her.

As she took a small sip from the bottle, Maze watched her like a hawk, smirking when her nose scrunched up in distaste at the bitterness of the drink. Chloe ignored it.

"So, Maze, how are the demons?" Lucifer asked.

"Up to no good as always, but I love the little imps. Lily Rose has got a set tonight somewhere downtown, so I left Zuri in charge. She's the responsible one, so hopefully I won't come home to utter chaos."

"Ronnie not around anymore?"

"Nah. She kicked him to the curb weeks ago. She's back in her 'single and desperate' phase, so she's been going out every night." She uncrossed her legs to nudge Lucifer's thigh with her foot. "What about you? Life still good with the Priest? He hasn't tried to tickle your pickle yet?" She poked her tongue against the inside of her cheek suggestively, her eyes sparkling with mirth.

Lucifer barked a laugh and rolled his eyes. "He's actually a decent guy, Maze."

Folding her leg underneath her again, she hummed, but it was clear she still had her doubts.

"Things are good," he answered. "He's busy with his congregation so he's not around much, and I like the freedom. It's a good set-up."

"Well, I'm happy for you," she said in a moment of sincerity.

There was a deep understanding in the way their gazes held, and it made Chloe's stomach churn in such a weird and unpleasant way that she had to avert her eyes.

She slipped out from underneath Lucifer's arm and slid to the ground, stretching her legs out in front of her and leaning back against the porch railing.

As she sipped her beer, she let her attention flit around the party, listening passively to Lucifer and Maze's conversation. The alcohol spread through her body, making her belly feel warm and heavy and her limbs feel light and tingly. Her mind slowed, the constant swirling of thoughts fading into blissful quiet.

She watched as two girls climbed onto the shoulders of two guys in the pool. The girls pushed at each other in a game of chicken, laughing so hard their bodies shook with it. Eventually, one of the girls got the upper hand, and her friend yelped as she fell backwards into the water with a loud splash. They all laughed when she emerged, swimming together to the edge of the pool to take swigs of their drinks.

Chloe shifted her attention to two couples making out in opposite corners of the hot tub.

Her face flushed as she watched them, the porch lights casting them in shadows. The night was too dark to make out any details; they could be anyone. And for a second, her mind supplied a picture of Lucifer, bare-chested with his hair wet and curling, dragging her onto his lap, pulling her face to his, and kissing her hard and desperate.

"Hey, earth to Decker." Maze poked at her thigh with the tips of her toes. "You okay there?" Her brow rose knowingly, and Chloe had the irrational thought that somehow Maze could read her mind.

"Yeah," she said, her cheeks flushed from the direction of her thoughts. "I'm fine."

"You want another drink?"

Tipping her bottle from side to side, she noticed that it was almost empty and nodded. "Sure. Thanks."

Lucifer jumped up again to grab them each another drink from the cooler, and when he returned, he dragged her into the conversation as well. Maze lightened up a bit, which Chloe was grateful for.

She wasn't sure how much time passed while they sat around talking. A few other kids joined their group, and Chloe listened as they shared jokes and stories from school about classmates and teachers. Scandalous gossip, gripes about grades, plans for prom. She tried not to feel left out, but the conversations only reminded her that tomorrow, these kids would continue to be kids while she'd go back to a career.

She had just finished her second beer when Michelle, the girl who had recognized her in the kitchen, came bounding up to them. "We're gonna play Truth or Dare!"

Maze rolled her eyes. "What are we, twelve?"

Michelle laughed. "We can spice it up. Make it into a drinking game or something. It'll be fun."

"Whatever. I'm in," Maze agreed easily, contrary to her too-cool-for-this attitude. She jumped up from the swing and extended her hand to Chloe with a wicked smirk. "Decker?"

"Oh, please, Chloe!" Michelle chimed in. "It would be so cool if you played, too!"

The two beers she'd had had loosened her up, making her feel reckless, daring—like she could do anything.

"I'm in," she echoed, taking Maze's hand and allowing the other girl to pull her to her feet. Then she turned and sent a questioning glance at Lucifer, hoping he'd want to play too.

His eyes were already on her, head tilted and eyebrow cocked in a way that was so attractive to her. Warmth spread through her belly as he grinned. "Count me in, too."


A/N: The next chapter will pick up right where this one left off!

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