The first 30 minutes were fine. Juice had pressed the alarm button, there wasn't much else he could do. He was in a hospital, a broken elevator wouldn't escape anyone's attention. But after that first half hour... the unrest crept under his skin. He sat on the ground. Because of his wet clothes he felt ice cold, he however tried not to show it to the Mayan.
The guy was sitting in the opposite corner. At first he had been busy on his phone, now he seemed to get bored too.
"What's your name?" Juice asked after a while.
The silence was suffocating. Having a normal conversation with the guy might help him to feel less locked up.
"Why?" the other huffed. "You think you and me are gonna be friends now?"
Juice rolled his eyes and stared at the floor. I guess not.
Well, then they would stay quiet for another hour.
After one hour, their situation hadn't changed. His elevator buddy had called someone who was in the hospital and people were working on it, but nobody could estimate how long it would take.
Juice tried to banish all negative thoughts. He failed – after all, there wasn't much he could do but think. He had been playing games on his phone for an hour, but his battery was getting low and he had no idea how long they would be stuck in here. He thought of all the news reports he had read. About people who had been locked up for days, who had only survived by drinking urine. What was driving him even more crazy, was the fact that they didn't know what was wrong with the elevator. What if one of the cables had broken? What if the other couldn't bear the weight and would break too? They would crash down. He knew it was all in his head, but he even though to hear something crack.
His breathing became deeper, more laboriously. Suddenly his temples started to sting. Oh god – not a panic attack, not now... He rubbed his face, trying to concentrate on other things. He failed; all he could think of was that he would be hyperventilating soon like some idiot. The Mayan would know how weak he was. Soon, the whole Oakland charter would know that he lost his mind because of a broken elevator. They would drag him off his bike, take him to some remote place and torture him until he had confessed all club secrets.
But maybe they would never get that far. Maybe they would crash down and get killed, or maybe they would die of thirst. He hadn't taken anything with him, and neither had the Mayan. And even if he had, he probably wouldn't share it with a Son anyway.
He could barely breathe. He sat up straighter, tried to imagine that he was alone, that he wasn't stuck in a shitty elevator, that he... He squeezed his eyes, taking deep breaths. It felt like not a bit of oxygen reached his lungs, as if there was a stone stuck in his throat.
He started to sweat, with his nails he scraped across the floor of the lift.
"Hey. What's going on? Hey!"
A hand on his knee, for a very brief moment.
"You havin' a panic attack?"
Juice wasn't able to answer, he felt light in the head. He could already feel the elevator falling down. Soon they would hit the ground and get crushed.
"Hey, look at me."
Juice did as he was told, glad someone told him what to do. Before he got lost in his head, before he would suffocate, before...
"Deep, slow breaths. Okay? Tell me what color my eyes are."
What?! What kind of question was that?!
He got scared when he noticed he couldn't even see the guy's eyes. It felt like there was thick smoke between them. Was there something on fire? He took a deep breath, but he couldn't remember the smell of fire.
"Concentrate." Again, he felt a small bump against his knee.
Juice squinted his eyes to slits. Slowly, the mist cleared, his glance becoming sharper.
"Brown," he muttered. "Brown like coffee beans."
His voice made him cringe. What was he, a baby? Man – he felt so embarrassed he didn't even dare to look at the other anymore. Again, there was a pressure on his chest. Shakily, he breathed in.
"What's your name?" the man asked.
Juice shrugged his shoulders, still staring at the ground. His cheeks flushed in shame.
"I'm Raine," the biker told him.
"Juice," he muttered.
"Okay, listen Juice. This is temporary, okay? Within an hour or two we can leave this elevator. We're in a hospital, they have hundreds of emergency protocols for this. We're lucky we're both healthy people. It's a matter of hours, while we'll survive in here for at least three days."
"I know," Juice muttered. He did know. In his head. But his body – it felt like his brain couldn't convince his body, as if it was leading a life of its own.
"Here, this helps."
Juice looked to the side. Raine held out something colorful. As he took it, he saw to his surprise that it was a Rubik's Cube.
A little dazed he stared at the Mayan, who lifted the corner of his mouth. Suddenly he didn't look that harsh anymore. Juice felt his shoulders relax and started to turn the cube. Keeping his hands busy; he knew it would help. Getting a row of the same color.
For at least fifteen minutes the Rubik's Cube was all he thought about – then he became aware of Raine's presence again. Lowering his hands, he cocked his head to the side. He didn't want to look like some autistic kid.
"How did you know what to do?"
He'd had panic attacks before. Most people however didn't know how to deal with them; they freaked out too, or told him he was upset about nothing or that everything would be fine.
Raine's eyes rested in his for a moment, as if he was wondering if he wanted to share something personal or not. "My lil sister has them too," he said eventually. "Panic attacks. The cube is always helping her, that's why I'm going nowhere without one."
Juice bowed his head in shame. He had reminded the guy of his little sister. How humiliating. No Mayan would ever take him seriously again. His fingers were shaking. Whether it was because of the cold or because the panic was rising up again, he didn't know.
"Why are you here?" Juice asked. Talking used to help, he needed to distract himself. Raine had to know that too. Maybe he could even find out if the Mayans had something to do with the attack on Chibs. "Charming isn't exactly around the corner."
"My sister lives around here. I was visiting her."
Juice looked up from the puzzle, feeling a strange sensation in his stomach as he caught the man's look. He looked... defeated.
"Because of her panic attacks?"
Raine shook his head. He rubbed his hand across his stubbly jaw and studied Juice's face, as if he was wondering how much it would hurt to open up. "That's my youngest sister. She's suffering from anxiety since mom died, seven years ago, but since last year it has become ten times worse." Bending his head, he stared at the floor. "My other sister has breast cancer. Like my mom had. It's metastasized. Twenty-seven. She's twenty-seven and she'll probably won't live another year."
Juice swallowed. Fuck – that was some heavy shit.
"That's horrible," he muttered. "I'm sorry. I don't know what to say. Is there no chance that she will... you know?"
Raine heaved a deep sigh. "Nope."
Juice bent his head again. Knowing that the other man struggled with something so heavy while he was freaking out because of a stupid elevator, made him feel disgusted by himself.
"Sammy... my youngest sister... She isn't just afraid to lose her sister, she's also scared she will get sick too. There's a good chance she will. They're monitoring her but well – Rosa was monitored too."
The tone of his voice told Juice that Sammy wasn't the only one who was scared of that; Raine obviously was also terrified to lose another family member to that fucking disease.
"You got more sisters? Or brothers?" Juice asked. He didn't know how to elaborate on their former topic, but he neither wanted to be silent.
"No, we're with the three of us. Rosa does have a two year old daughter. The girl never knew her dad, he was an asshole." He moved his fingers across his phone, then he turned the screen towards Juice. There was a little girl on it, holding a giant ice cream. Her smile was shiny, making Juice's lips curl up too. "That's Sasha."
His voice sounded proud, something gave Juice the feeling he would be the one taking care of the little girl once her mother was gone – or maybe he was already caring for her. He however didn't dare to ask.
Raine switched off the screen and briefly looked at Juice. It was indeed a little weird, watching family pictures of a guy he'd wanted to hold on gunpoint just a while ago. However, he believed little children softened every heart.
"Why are you here?" Raine asked after a while.
Juice had been busy with the Rubik's Cube again, but now he looked up. He didn't really need the thing anymore, he had calmed down. "One of my brothers was shot two days ago. We don't know who did it."
He bit the inside of his cheek. Damn – why did he have to tell him that? Now they looked like a bunch of dumb asses.
Raine held his glance. "You thought I was going to finish the job?"
Juice shrugged his shoulders. They probably both lived this life long enough to know the answer. "You could have."
Maybe he still could. For all he knew, the guy might have made up that story about his sister.
"Is it bad?"
Juice hesitated. He didn't know what he could tell, whether it would endanger Chibs if he told him more. At the same time he believed the damage was already done. Without a doubt, they had their own hacker who could simply look into the hospital files to see how badly injured his brother was.
"He was shot in the chest, his lung was perforated. He's stable, but he can't leave yet."
Raine nodded slowly. Moving his hand to his pocket, he pulled a pack of cigarettes from it, offering it to Juice.
"Smoking in a hospital?" Juice asked with raised eyebrows.
The man shrugged his shoulders, a hint of a smile crossing his lips. "Nobody else's gonna use this elevator anytime soon. Smell will be gone tomorrow."
Juice didn't disagree. He sat up a little straighter, pulling at his clammy shirt that was sticking to his back. If he was honest, he was dying for a cigarette and he took one from the box, lighting it.
As he sighed, the smoke slipped between his lips. He leaned back against the wall of the elevator. Contrary to the moment they got stuck in the elevator, Juice was now relieved that he wasn't alone.
