~ Chapter 2: Pilar ~

"Adrian wants to get a game of Scattergories together. You two in?" My mom asked from my doorway. I thought Victor had been exaggerating when he said that my mom used to check in on him and Benji a billion times a day before everything happened with that video, but I was starting to realize he hadn't done enough to prepare me for the reality of her checking in on me and Felix what felt like every minute. This was her fifth time coming to us with some kind of question since Felix got here half an hour ago.

I was getting so tired of our lack of privacy. We never had a second to ourselves. Felix's mom was working from home - which had been an incredibly unpleasant surprise when we'd sought refuge there a few days ago. The roof of the building she worked in collapsed, so she was working from home for the foreseeable future. It wasn't inconvenient at all that this also happened to coincide with the two weeks my mom had off of work. If I didn't know better, I'd think someone did not want me and Felix to have sex.

I wondered how my classmates with stay-at-home parents managed it. Their parents were either deeply oblivious or were way cooler than ours because I never heard anyone else complain about it.

We'd very, very briefly talked about sneaking him into my room after my parents went to bed, and I may not know the specifics, but I was not going to be in the same position Victor had been in when my mom walked in on them. I didn't have the luxury of a locked door and that wasn't worth the risk; I couldn't fathom how Victor ever thought it was.

Honestly, it wasn't even just that we didn't have time to sleep together. I felt like someone was always watching us.

"I think we're good," I answered. "Maybe you should take him out instead? He's been so cooped up lately."

My mom laughed. "Nice try, mija. I may have been born at night, but it wasn't last night. I'm not leaving the two of you alone. I am way too young to become an abuela. Besides, Victor took him swimming for a couple of hours this morning. He's gotten plenty of sun."

"Yeah, but he was probably on FaceTime with Benji the whole time," I muttered. It was true. It felt like he and Benji were constantly talking to each other.

My mom's face fell. "Actually, do you think one of you could talk to him? I asked him about Benji this morning, and he seemed upset. I didn't want to push him, but I think something's wrong."

I glanced at Felix who was pointedly looking away from me. I sighed. "Yeah, we'll talk to him," I promised her.

I waited for my mom to leave before I turned to Felix. "What happened?"

"Honestly? I'm not totally sure," he told me. "He just said they got into a fight last night. He used the walkie to wake me up at like 2. He didn't want to talk about it but, like your mom said, he seemed pretty upset."

I frowned. I thought it would take longer before they'd be fighting. I felt like it was an inevitability but that was only because Victor obviously already missed Benji a ton and he wasn't the most rational person when he was upset. One could argue that he was one of the least rational and level-headed people when he got like that. "I didn't notice anything."

"Maybe he and Benji talked this morning," Felix said with a shrug.

Or maybe I just hadn't noticed. I hoped that Felix was right, but I had a feeling that I just hadn't known to look for the warning signs that they'd fought. "I'm gonna go talk to him. You coming?"

He didn't hesitate. When I got to Victor's room, his door was ajar. I pushed it open and could see that he was lying on his bed. He was holding his phone to his ear and was having a whispered conversation with someone. I hoped it was Benji but the growing look of unease on his face was making me doubt that.

I gave him a minute before I knocked on the door. He sat up abruptly. "Hey, I have to go. Yeah. Let me know how it goes. Thanks, Luce."

"That was Lucy?" I asked surprised.

"Yeah. What's up?" he asked briskly.

Okay. I was apparently the worst sister ever because it took me approximately two seconds to realize he was in a shitty mood and I doubted this was a new development. "I was gonna ask you that."

He flopped down against his bed. "I should've known you'd tell her." He didn't sound mad, just resigned.

"He didn't," I said defensively. "Mom noticed this morning." I sat down in his desk chair. I pulled my feet up. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No," he said curtly. I really, really wanted to tell him that he was being an asshole, but I couldn't bring myself to call him out on it. Heaven knew he'd done his fair share of putting up with my angst. The least I could do was the same. I tried to think of what he used to do back in Texas when I was being particularly unbearable.

"Fine, but you're not staying in here and throwing yourself a pity party. We have a game of Scattergories with your name on it." He opened his mouth, so I quickly continued, "Adrian wants to play, so you can't say no. It'll be nice for all of us to play together. Besides, I need someone to back up my challenge when mom tries to say anything can be a sandwich if you're creative enough." It was how she played. She never tried for a real answer. Our biggest fight when I was in the seventh grade was when she claimed the human brain was a power tool because it was a tool and knowledge was power. Adrian had sided with my mom, so it had come down to Victor as the tie-breaker. He'd sided with me.

He almost smiled before he sighed. "Give me a minute."

It was 50/50 whether this was his way of blowing us off, but he came out into the living room a few minutes later. He forced a smile on his face as he walked towards Adrian. "I heard you want to get beaten at Scattergories."

Adrian's face lit up. "Keep dreaming." There was no one in the world that Adrian loved more than Victor. Part of me was bitter about that, but I also kind of got it. I knew Adrian loved me a lot and he would always be my creature, but he had a special relationship with Victor.

"I don't need to dream; I could win this in my sleep," Victor teased as he sat down at the table. He opened the box. "Where's mom? I thought she was joining this party."

"Kitchen. Someone called her," Adrian explained.

Victor nodded before he started pulling stuff out of the box. He hesitated before he handed Felix a sleeve. "It's just a game," he warned.

"Fine. Then don't cheat," Felix suggested.

"I didn't cheat," Victor protested.

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"Last summer we played a game of Scattergories that almost ended our friendship," Felix explained.

"Yeah because Felix was so pissed that we kept putting the same answers."

"We both put Lancelot for a boy's name that starts with 'L'. There's Luke or Liam or Logan or just Lance, but no. You put Lancelot. How does that happen if you're not cheating?" Felix challenged.

"I don't know, but I wasn't looking at your answers." Victor crossed his arms. "Maybe you were looking at mine. Why else would you have put baking soda for items in a fridge?"

"Everyone knows you put one in your fridge and one in your freezer. It's not rocket science," Felix pointed out. "Besides, what else was I going to put? There's not a lot of things that start with 'b' that you put in your fridge."

If I wasn't so distracted by the fact that they were arguing right now, I would've pointed out there were a ton of things that could go in the fridge: bread, bacon, bologna, blueberries, blackberries, beef. Those were just what popped into my head, so how did both of them end up with baking soda?

"Benji put bananas," Victor pointed out.

"Yeah, but who puts bananas in the fridge?" Felix argued. "I still don't think that he should've gotten that point. The only reason he did was because you sided with him."

"Well one of us needed to win and it wasn't going to be me because someone was sabotaging me."

"I wasn't sabotaging you. If anything, you were sabotaging me."

"Okay, okay," I said. I stood between them. I had been entirely unprepared for this turn of events.

"Does this mean we're not playing Scattergories?" Adrian asked uncertainly. He'd been sitting at the table quietly watching them go back and forth.

"No, no. We can play. I just won't sit next to Victor," Felix said.

"Good," Victor said. He sat down next to Adrian. "I'd rather be by Adrian anyway." Suddenly, he laughed. "I think they think we're really fighting."

Felix chuckled. "We are very convincing," he agreed.

Ugh. Boys were the worst. "Do we want to wait for mom?" Victor directed the question towards Adrian. "Who called her?"

"I don't know," he said. Her phone was in the kitchen when it rang.

"One sec."

Victor disappeared into the kitchen. "I never heard that story about the Scattergories," I said quietly to Felix while we finished setting up.

"Oh, it was just at this work thing Sarah hosted for all of us in July. She called it a team-building retreat, but we just played board games in her backyard until she let us leave," he told me. "This is the first time we've had the chance to play since then, so I guess it didn't come up."

When he'd said last summer, I'd immediately assumed Lake was involved and that's why he hadn't told me. "That sounds cool," I lied.

"It wasn't bad, actually. I thought it was gonna be terrible, but Victor and Benji made it fun."

Victor and my mom came out into the living room. "What's going on?" My mom was holding her phone to her ear and wasn't speaking.

"I don't know," Victor answered. "She said she'd tell us together."

After a frustrated sigh, our mom pulled her phone away. "I just talked to Tia Lera," she said. "She's in the hospital. The baby's coming."

"She's not due until July," I said surprised. A feeling of unease settled in me. "Is she okay? Is the baby?"

"I'm sure she and the baby are fine. I'm going to find your papi. I tried calling him, but he didn't answer his phone, so I'm going to pop over to the office. I've got to get to Texas. She doesn't even have her car seat installed. She shouldn't be by herself."

"Did you try calling abuela?" Victor asked.

I looked at my mom because it suddenly occurred to me that we'd forgotten to tell Victor something very, very important. In defense of us, it truly hadn't come up. My mom looked like she'd hoped this exact conversation would never happen.

"Hey, mijo?" My mom crouched down in front of Adrian. "I want to bring something to your new cousin. Do you think you could pick out a toy? Something soft? The bucket of your old stuffed animals is in my closet."

"Yeah!" Adrian said enthusiastically.

We waited until he ran off. "What's going on?" Victor asked slowly.

"Do you remember last weekend when Tia Lera had her baby shower?" my mom asked.

"Yeah. It was the same day I went to Lake Lanier with Benji."

"Yes," my mom confirmed. She looked at me and I shook my head. This was absolutely not my problem. "You know we Skyped in." My mom shifted on her feet. "Well, your Tia Lera asked where you were."

"Okay?" he said uncertainly. "What does that have to do with anything?"

My mom looked at me helplessly and I sighed. I wanted to stay as far from this as possible because I felt like Victor was, justifiably so, going to be furious. "Here's the thing. Abuela was there as well and… she knows about you and Benji."

Victor frowned. "How? I was planning on telling her at the end of summer." When our parents had set a date for their vow renewal, Victor had pointed out that there was some family that still didn't know about him… a lot of family, actually. We'd kind of gotten a grace period after we moved, so renewing their vows would be the first time we were seeing most of our cousins since before we moved. Our parents had put their feelers out and it seemed like a lot of them would be coming. I wasn't sure how it was going to go when Victor asked about Benji being at their vow renewal, but they said it wouldn't be right if he couldn't be there with Benji, and it wouldn't be right if he had to pretend he wasn't with Benji.

"Lera told her," our mom admitted. "She didn't think it was a secret."

"It's not," Victor said. "At least, I don't want it to be. I just thought I'd get to tell her myself."

Our mom nodded. "Lera felt terrible about it."

Victor was quiet for a moment. "So, what happened?"

"She said it was probably better that you weren't there because it wasn't like you were going to be allowed around the baby."

Victor stared at our mom like he couldn't believe her words. I'd lived them and I still had trouble believing it had happened. "Because I'm gay?" he asked. His voice was emotionless.

"Of course, mom didn't let that go," I said quickly. "But it did lead to this big fight." It was a special kind of awkward to fight with someone via Skype. "Tia Lera said she'd be lucky if her kid turned out like you."

"They're still not talking," our mom told him. "I'm not talking to her either, mijo. She crossed a line."

"Does this mean she's not coming when you renew your vows?" Victor asked anxiously.

"August is still a long way away. Anything could happen, but I don't want her here if she can't accept you. You are my world, Victor." She glanced at me. "All of my kids are. You're way more important than having my mom here."

"But-"

"No," she interrupted. She moved in front of him. It always amazed me that Victor somehow looked so small when they were close to each other even though he towered over her. "I appreciate that you want to worry about this, but it's not on you. Now, I need you to watch Adrian. I'm going to try to catch your dad and see what he wants to do. I will call you once I find out what's happening."

"Okay," Victor said simply.

"Don't leave them alone," she warned. She motioned between me and Felix. "I'll be back soon."

Victor's lips twitched. "Don't worry. We're just gonna play some Scattergories."

Victor looked like he was trying very hard not to laugh when she left.

"It's not funny," I grumbled.

"It kind of is."

"Yeah and it was hilarious when you and Benji had to sneak around, wasn't it?" I heard the words after I said them and instantly felt guilty. I knew that Victor enjoyed his freedom with Benji, but I sometimes forgot it came at a cost. "That's not what I meant."

"It's fine," he said stiffly. "I know you hate this and I remember how annoying it was, but I'd give anything to still have mom helicoptering us." He frowned. "Sort of. Sometimes, I almost think it was worth it."

"What do you mean?" I asked. We'd spoken approximately zero words about the video that had circulated which meant we hadn't spoken about anything that happened as a result.

"Just that I feel like mom changed when we got back." He got a pensive look on his face. "I wish we could have gotten here without that, but I feel like… I don't know. Like she accepted that Benji isn't temporary when it happened."

"He's still not, right? Temporary, I mean. You're gonna be okay?" He was silent. "What happened?"

"Are you and Benji fighting?" Adrian asked from the hallway. We turned to see him clutching the stuffed rabbit that he'd been obsessed with when he was younger. It had made the move from Texas partially because our mom hadn't been willing to acknowledge that he'd outgrown it.

"No. We're okay," Victor said. "What do you say we put a bow around Ronald?" Don't ask me where the name Ronald came from, but Adrian had been adamant about it. "Make him look really nice for the baby."

"Okay," Adrian said.

"There's some ribbon in the craft bucket. Do you need me to get that out for you?"

"No. It was right next to this. I'll go look."

"Eventually, you're going to have to stop lying to him about Benji."

"I'm not lying. We're going to be okay," he said adamantly.

"Then what happened?" Felix asked. I almost felt guilty because part of me had forgotten he was here. "If you're not telling us, we're going to assume it's worse than it is."

Victor sighed. "We just got into a fight. I know you want to know, but I can't talk about it with you. I need to talk to Benji."

"Why haven't you talked to him?" I asked.

"I've texted him a little, but he's busy today."

There was really nothing to say to that. It sucked because I believed that they would've talked by now if they could've. Fortunately, Adrian distracted Victor with the task of creating the perfect bow for Ronald before we started our game of Scattergories.

We were halfway through our fifth round of Cutthroat Scattergories (renamed by me because Felix and Victor were genuinely crazy good at guessing each other's answers; it happened too often to be a coincidence) when our parents got home. The last time I'd played this had been with Felix and his mom. That had been a much more civilized experience.

"Hey, what's the verdict?" Victor asked.

"My boss is letting me take off," our dad answered.

Victor stared. "What? Really?"

He nodded. "Yeah. I have a ton of flex time saved up from all those extra hours when Kenzie was on her maternity leave, and we don't have any upcoming bids. All of our projects are in construction mode, so my guys aren't ready to do anything with the wiring. We're in maintenance mode."

"His boss actually said this was convenient timing for him," our mom added.

"We're gonna head out soon. We just need to pack first. We want to stop halfway for the night and get there tomorrow morning," our dad told us.

Our mom put her hands on Victor's shoulder. "Please take Adrian to church tomorrow. I know you don't like to go…"

"I don't mind," Victor interrupted her. "I have work at 2, but I'll get him to mass." He turned towards me. "Are you okay with watching him tomorrow night? I close at 8, so I should be home by 9."

"We're supposed to have dinner with my mom tomorrow night," Felix interjected. "I'm sure she'd be cool with him joining us."

Adrian scrunched up his face. Adrian was a super chill kid 90% of the time, and he'd never met Felix's mom, but he wasn't the biggest fan of her. He'd only heard us talk about her and… we hadn't always said the nicest things. In defense of us, things were still kind of hostile since Felix got suspended. I sucked it up because I had to, but Adrian had no such obligation. I knew Adrian was upset because he loved Felix, and I tried to remember that.

"Or you can hang around Brasstown with me," Victor offered. "Your choice, papa. But you're gonna miss Dawn's dope cooking to watch me scrub counters for six hours." I appreciated the effort, but it was futile.

Adrian cracked a smile before he shrugged. "I'll go to work with you."

"Your loss," Victor shrugged. He glanced at Felix before he turned to our parents. "Have you heard anything? Did she have the baby?"

"Not yet, and it seems like she's still got a ways to go. Last time I talked to her, there was no change. She's only 5 centimeters dilated-" Victor shuddered. "Oh, come on. Childbirth is a totally natural thing," our mom chastised.

"Of course," Victor agreed. "That doesn't mean I want to hear the specifics about Tia Lera."

I snickered while a disgruntled look spread across my mom's face. "One day, you'll understand."

A weird look crossed Victor's face. "What does dilated mean?" Adrian asked. "I thought it was when your pupils get big, but what does that have to do with having a baby?"

I couldn't help myself as I started to laugh. After a moment, Victor joined in. I didn't know why it was so funny, but it was probably the innocent way he asked it or that he had to ask it at all.

"Okay," my mom said slowly looking back and forth between us like we were crazy. She crouched down in front of Adrian. "When someone's having a baby, the dilation is how we know when the baby is ready to come out. Sometimes it takes hours, sometimes days to be ready."

"Oh. Okay." He looked perplexed but didn't ask any other questions.

"We have to pack," our dad reminded our mom gently.

She nodded before she followed him to their bedroom.

We didn't go back to Scattergories; instead, we lounged around our living room. "What are we thinking for dinner?" Victor asked. "Do we want to order pizza or make something?"

I nudged Felix with my knee. "Do you want to stay for dinner?"

He didn't appear to hear me. He was staring at the wall with an almost blank look on his face.

Victor jumped to his feet and tugged on Felix's arm. Felix looked surprised. "Come on. I need your help picking out something for dinner."

"Uh, yeah. Sure," Felix agreed. He followed Victor into the kitchen. It didn't look like they made much progress with picking something out for dinner because Felix sat on top of the counter that separated our kitchen table from our kitchen and Victor tossed him the lone orange in our fruit bowl before he hopped on top of the island. They tossed the orange back and forth. I could see Victor's lips moving but couldn't begin to figure out what he was saying.

I wasn't the one to interrupt them. "Vic," our dad called when he pulled his suitcase out of his room nearly fifteen minutes later. Victor handed a bunch of menus to Felix before he ran over. "We'll talk about how much we owe you when we get back."

"Don't worry about it. I can cover a few meals. When will you be back?" Victor asked

"I have the week off, so we might stay until next Sunday. Both of us have to be back for work. Can you two handle it?"

"Of course," Victor promised.

"Take pictures of the baby when you get there," I told him.

"We'll call you," our mom promised. She was pulling her own suitcase. "Are you sure you're okay with this? A week is a long time."

"We'll be fine," Victor told her. "It'll be nice to get some Salazar sibling bonding time. Give Tia Lera a hug from us!"

We spent a couple of minutes getting hugs from them in between giving us reminders. Adrian's friend was coming over on Wednesday. We needed to make sure he got to his book club thing at the library on Monday. Our mom was ridiculously afraid we'd somehow forget to feed him and ourselves.

Finally, they turned their attention to Adrian. I knew he was the baby of the family, but this still felt excessive.

"We're going to miss you so much, amore," our mom said while she hugged Adrian for the billionth time. I knew this was her first time spending more than a day away from him, but she was being way too dramatic. "Be good for your brother."

"And your sister," I added. I swear, I was just part of the wall at this point.

"I will; I promise."

"Please, Vic. Watch all of them," our mom said. There was no doubt that they were including me in that. Seriously. Ridiculous.

"I can handle this."

She kissed his forehead. "I know you can, amore."

She gave me a quick hug. "Listen to your brother while I'm gone." I resented that she didn't trust me on so many levels because, of the two of us, I was the one not sleeping with a boyfriend and had proven myself to be way more trustworthy when it came to stuff like that.

Victor followed my parents to the door and they lingered there for several minutes. I didn't try to join them. I had no doubt that he was getting ground rules specifically related to me and Felix. When he came back, he didn't shed any light on what they'd talked about, which only furthered my suspicions.

"Felix was in the mood for dumplings, so I think we're gonna order Chinese. Pick out whatever you want. We'll figure out meals for the rest of the week after dinner. Maybe get a shopping list together and we can stop tomorrow after church."

"You're gonna take groceries on the bus?" I asked skeptically.

He smiled. "It'll be fine." He did look to be in significantly better spirits than he had before. I didn't need to ask him why. He'd always been like this. His favorite distraction had always been family. Being able to throw himself into planning for this upcoming week was probably doing almost as much for his mental wellbeing as talking to Benji would do.

Felix and I volunteered to go pick up dinner, so we left Victor and Adrian to play some made-up game that Adrian had learned from Jeffrey. I'd opted out when Adrian was explaining that every third king that was played was actually a queen. Felix and I had watched two rounds of it before we'd insisted on ordering dinner - I swear, they would've played all night without thinking about dinner if we'd let them.

Felix was quiet while we walked. I brought my left hand to our entwined hands and slowed my pace. "You okay? You're quiet."

"Yeah, no. I'm fine," he said. Right. If he was fine, why was he doing the thing where he squinted like the sun was shining directly in his eyes?

"Is this about what Adrian said before because that doesn't mean anything. I think he'd pick spending time with Victor over just about anything."

"No, it's not that. Really. He got in my head for a bit, but I got out of it."

"Is that what you and Victor were talking about?" I asked. "It's none of my business, but it seemed like you felt better after you talked to him."

He stopped walking. After a moment, I turned so I was facing him. "Adrian did get in my head," he repeated after a moment. "When I was talking to Victor, he reminded me of what I said to him when he and Benji first started fighting in November."

"Which was?" I asked curiously.

"That it was really hard to watch your mom treat him like trash. He said that I'm pretty much part of the family now and… you all feel the same way and that it's really hard for you to watch my mom punish me for something out of my control," he told me. He had a far-off look in his eyes. "When he put it like that, I kind of understood why Adrian wouldn't want to suck up a dinner with my mom."

"Victor's right," I told him.

"I know he is," he confirmed. "About what you said before. About it being none of your business?" I waited for him to tell me that it was my business or that he wanted it to be my business. "I need you to trust me, P."

"What?" I asked uncertainly. "I trust you."

"Then trust that I'll talk to you about stuff if I need to."

I stared at him. What the hell was happening? "What are you talking about?"

He let out a shaky breath. "This is weird for me sometimes. Dating you and being best friends with Victor. I love you so much, but I also love him and I need there to be some kind of separation between the two of you."

I looked at him suspiciously because that did not sound like something he would say. "Did Victor say something to you?"

"No. Not exactly. He just asks me not to tell you stuff a lot of the time and… I don't know. I was thinking about how he never told Benji about me because he wanted me to be able to tell him when I was ready, and how he tells Benji everything but not that. I want that balance. I want him to feel like he can do the same."

"Why didn't you say something sooner?" I asked. I felt like if we'd talked about this seven months ago when we started dating, I wouldn't be so blindsided by it. "Have you felt like this the whole time?"

"I guess… I have in some ways, but I've been thinking about it a lot more lately. When I was talking to Victor and he asked me not to tell you about his fight with Benji… I guess I just realized that I don't want him to have to ask. I want him to just know that there are things I will keep from you. Like, if he tells me something, I don't want him to worry that I'll tell you."

"He doesn't have to worry about that. And, you know, even if you told me something, I wouldn't tell him."

That was apparently the wrong thing to say. "That's not the point," he said frustratedly. "I know that Victor won't tell Benji stuff. It's not a matter of if he'll tell him and Benji won't spread it around; he won't tell him in the first place. When I told him about my dad last week, I knew it would stay between us." I was a little ashamed to admit that I felt jealous at that. Part of me was really happy that he'd told Victor, but I thought I was the one person he could talk to about this stuff. "Victor was my friend before you were my girlfriend, and he shouldn't have to hold back because he doesn't want you to know something. Just like you shouldn't have to worry about me telling him what we talk about."

I felt like I'd been slapped. "I never thought I had to worry about that," I said slowly.

"Exactly. And he deserves the same thing. I can't keep feeling like I'm choosing between the two of you. You're both the most important people in my life."

Where the fuck was this coming from? "I never asked you to choose. Is this weird sometimes? Sure, but I thought we were doing okay with it."

He shook his head. "I still feel like I have to. I just… I need to be able to talk to him without you expecting me to tell you about it."

I bit my lip. I couldn't begin to sort through the feelings of confusion and anger that flowed through my veins like blood. "Well, maybe you can talk to him about this since you obviously don't trust me enough."

"P, that's not it."

"You know what? I'm not hungry. I'm gonna head back."

"Wait! Pilar!" he called. I was already walking away. Part of me expected him to run after me but, after a minute, I realized that wasn't going to happen. Whatever. I didn't need him.

The more I walked, the more indignant I felt. How dare he? I was trustworthy. I never gave him a reason to think he had to tell me about whatever the hell he talked about with Victor.

Didn't I? A small voice in the back of my head piped in unhelpfully. I was the one to ask him about his talk with Victor. Had I crossed a line? No. I hadn't. I hadn't asked him what they talked about; I'd just checked in with him like anyone would have after he was acting so weird.

When I got back, I went right to my bedroom without acknowledging Victor or Adrian. I moved my desk chair so it blocked the door. I may not have a lock, but this was the next best thing. I put on some music before I fell back onto my bed.

I waited a long time before I left. Long after the smell of Chinese food wafted into my bedroom (I was reasonably confident Victor had put something right outside my door to lure me out) and long after I knew Felix would've left. I was surprised when Victor was still up because it was almost midnight.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

He looked over at me. "I didn't think we were going to see you tonight." He threw his phone on the couch. "I was hoping Benji would call me, but his concert ended over an hour ago and… nothing."

"Why don't you call him?" I asked.

He shrugged. "I don't want to interrupt him if he's doing something with his band. You hungry?"

"A little," I admitted.

He chuckled. "I can heat you up some Chinese food. Or are you feeling something else?"

"What are my other options?" I asked.

He stood up and went to the kitchen. He opened the fridge and peered inside. "I could make you some scrambled eggs. It looks like we have pepper and onion." He opened the freezer. "There's also some chicken fingers. Or I could make pancakes."

"Mmm. Pancakes," I said. It was our go-to. I really wasn't sure how it happened but, for as long as I could remember, Victor had been the pancake maker in the family. He always seemed to know when we needed pancakes to regroup and move on from something. It sounded dumb, but it was true. There were so many times when that offered a break and gave us the opportunity to come at something more rationally.

"We don't have any fruit, so they'll have to be plain."

"That's fine," I confirmed. I watched him while he moved around the kitchen. He never had to measure anything out. I wasn't sure if once upon a time he had, but I didn't remember a time when he'd had to use a single measuring cup. He didn't ask me about my fight with Felix, and I didn't ask him about Benji. I realized that as much as pancakes were my comfort food, making them was his comfort hobby. Instead, we talked about what this next week would look like, and what we thought Tia Lera would name the baby (she'd been VERY secretive), and whether he should drop out of school and start a pancake restaurant. I, for one, was firmly in favor of that last one.

We lived in this comfortable bubble until he put the first pancake on the pan to cook. He always started like that. He cooked one and then would load up the pan with four every other time. He leaned back against the counter. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"If I caused problems between you and Felix."

I cocked my head sideways. "What do you mean?"

"I mean… I don't know exactly what happened but when Felix got back, he said that I didn't need to worry about whether he would talk to you about the stuff we talked about," he told me. He wrapped a towel around his hands. "I shouldn't have said anything to him."

"What did you say to him?" I asked. Victor didn't answer me right away, so I pressed, "he said you just kept asking him not to tell me stuff."

"That's a nice way of putting it. I honestly couldn't care less if he told you about what we talked about… well, most of it. I don't think you want to know everything. I just wanted there to be something that was just…" he trailed off.

"Just yours," I finished.

"Yeah. I've been… jealous of you and Felix."

"Jealous? Why?"

"Because I miss Benji so much and I feel like I have to miss Felix too."

"Why do you feel like you miss him?" I asked curiously. It seemed to me that they spent a ton of time together. Felix had been on the list of things we never talked about. It was like we'd hoped that by not talking about it, we could avoid this whole weird conversation. I was starting to think that had been a mistake. Maybe if we'd talked about it, my fight with Felix never would have happened.

"Because the only time I see him now is when he's with you," Victor said. I was about to argue but, when I thought about it, he wasn't wrong. "Or when one of us walkies the other at 2 am, but those aren't exactly highlights. I'm so glad that you found each other, P. Truly. You deserve to be happy with a nice guy for once. I just wish it hadn't changed things between him and me."

"It doesn't have to," I told him.

"But it did," he said. For the first time since Benji left, I could see how sad he was. "Felix was one of the first people I came out to and, sometimes, I miss how things used to be. It used to be so easy to talk to him."

He turned away from me to flip a pancake. "He's still that person, Vic. Maybe you can't shit talk me to him, but you can still talk to him about anything else. I want you to be able to talk to him about… superheroes or whatever you guys talk about." I moved so I was inside the kitchen instead of leaning on the counter from the other side. "I guess… it's like you said. I've never been with someone like him before. He makes me feel so good. Maybe I've been a little possessive because of that."

"And maybe I overreacted," he acknowledged. "I tried not to make it weird."

"But by not talking about it, we made it weird?" I guessed. "What do we do?"

He didn't answer right away. Instead, he focused on the pancakes bubbling in front of him. He did a full batch before he spoke. "I think it's always going to be a little weird," he finally said. "Think about what it would have been like if I dated Alex back in Texas."

I raised my eyebrows at him. "Are we going to pretend that ever could have been a thing? I mean, I know you were in the closet and all, but she's not your type."

He chuckled. "No, I know. She was terrifying. But it would've been weird, right?"

"Yeah. I guess."

"This is gonna be weird, but we'll figure it out." He moved some pancakes to a plate and added more batter to the pan. "Do you want to make this work?"

"Yeah," I said after a moment. "I don't want this to cause problems between us."

"Between you and Felix?" he confirmed.

"Or between you and me," I told him. "Vic, I feel like since you came out, I have my brother back."

"I've always been here," he said quietly.

"Not like this. We never talked like this. Not even in Texas."

His back was to me, so I couldn't see his face. From here, it looked like he was completely unfazed by my claim. It wasn't until he pulled the last pancake off the pan and brought it over to the table that I saw the troubled look on his face. "I'm glad things are different here," he said after he sat down. I took the seat across from him. He put two pancakes on the plate in front of me. "Do you remember when mom had Adrian?"

I looked at him curiously. "Vaguely. I mostly remember she brought home this mushy baby that never stopped crying."

He chuckled. "She was in the hospital with him for almost a week because he had jaundice."

"The purple light," I remembered. "She couldn't bring him home until all the purple was gone."

"It was some light treatment," he confirmed. "Anyway. The night we found out he wasn't coming home right away, Tia Lera made us this god-awful dinner. She refused to let us leave until both of our plates were clean, so we spent about an hour stuffing pieces of our dinner into the potted plant behind the table."

"I don't remember that."

"You were six," he pointed out.

"Almost seven," I said indignantly. He was just a little over a year older than me but, sometimes, he acted like he had a decade on me. "You'd just turned eight. It's not like you were old and wise either."

"Remind me, what do you remember about that night?" he asked.

"Shut up," I muttered. "Wait. Is there more to remember?"

He grinned at me before he said, "After dinner, we went back to our bedroom. This was when there was still the tape you'd put down the middle to separate our sides." I'd forgotten about that. I'd been pissed when they told me they had to turn my bedroom into a nursery for Adrian. We lived in a three-bedroom and, when our mom found out she was pregnant, it complicated our sleeping arrangements. "You pulled the tape off the floor and said that I could come over to your side, but only for one night. We ended up setting up camp on the floor under your bed because it was higher than mine. Every time Tia Lera came by to check on us, we pretended to be asleep. It felt like we stayed up the whole night, but we probably crashed around midnight if I had to take a guess." He chuckled. "It was the first time I felt like we were a team."

"We're still that team. We were a pretty sucky team for a bit, but we're getting there, you know."

"I know," he agreed. He took a bite of his pancake. "Eat. Before they get cold." He didn't say a word until we'd finished eating. "You've been my team for a while now, you know. I never thanked you for everything you did when I came out. Defending me to mom and-"

"Don't thank me, Vic. I don't deserve to be thanked. I didn't do anything."

"You did though," he said softly.

"No," I said a little louder. "Those things you want to thank me for? They weren't special. They weren't brave."

"Then what do you call it?"

"I don't call it anything. You're my brother. You did the hardest and bravest thing you could when you came out. If you should be thanking anyone, thank yourself."

He shook his head. "You're right that we don't talk much. I had no idea how you were going to take this. You could have thrown it right back in my face like mom."

"No, I couldn't have. Because it didn't change anything. You were still my brother. You were just my brother who happened to like guys." His lips twitched. "Plus, I didn't want to give up your pancakes, and I don't think they would've tasted as good if you thought I hated you."

He laughed before he put his hand over his mouth to quiet himself down. He closed his eyes for a second. "What are you gonna do about Felix?"

"I'll talk to him tomorrow when he gets off of work," I told him. I shivered. "We've never fought before. I feel like I don't know what to say to him."

"Welcome to being in a relationship," he teased.

"What are you gonna do about Benji?" I asked.

He sighed. "I'm gonna apologize. As soon as we have the chance to talk and sort this out."

I hesitated. "Apologize for what?"

He studied me for a moment. "For upsetting him," he finally said. "When we were having our problems last year, part of the reason it happened was because we were stuck in this cycle of whose fault it was. I did this; Benji did that; who did the worse thing; who owed who the apology? Now, when we get into fights, we both apologize. We fix it and work it out together because, at the end of the day, it takes two to fight. I didn't mean to hurt him but, whether I meant to or not, I did."

"That's… huh."

"What?" he asked. He looked the slightest bit defensive.

"I don't know. I guess, I knew you were in it with Benji but that's something else." I sighed. "How did you know Benji was worth that? I mean, it seems like it would kind of suck to have to pretend you're not pissed when he does something wrong."

"One, Benji almost never does something wrong unless I push him too far or he's really, really stressed. Two, that's not what we do," he said surprised. "We don't pretend we're not mad. We fight it out; we compromise if we have to, but we don't just let things go. We just admit that we both play a role in our fights."

"So, why didn't you fight it out?" I pressed.

"Because his roommate got back," Victor said. "We couldn't keep talking about it."

"Sucks."

"Yeah." He yawned. "I'm gonna go to bed. You okay?"

I nodded. "Thanks for the pancakes. And for talking."

He squeezed my shoulder on his way to his room.

I stayed in my spot for a long time. Long enough that I was sure Victor had really gone to sleep and was past the obsessively-checking-his-phone stage. Long enough that I was reasonably confident I was the only conscious person in this building.

So, it wasn't Victor's fault that I was miserable and grumpy and kind of wished he'd gone to Texas with our parents when he woke me up for church.

It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I thought this was the first time since Victor had come out that he went to church with us outside of holidays and one time that he literally ran from the church, so it felt different.

Church with Victor was different. We arrived like ten seconds before the service started and got seats in the back which instantly set the tone differently than if we'd been here with our parents. We usually sat as close to the front as we could get so we could "soak up Jesus". I wished I was joking, but my mom said it if she thought one of us was even thinking about asking to sit in the back. Victor didn't seem all that concerned about it.

I let out a quiet snicker when Father Michael started on a homily about communication and forgiveness. Go figure. I looked at Victor. He met my glance and rolled his eyes. 99% of the time, the homilies nearly put me to sleep but, every now and then, they managed to throw in some that were actually relevant to people living in the 21st century.

I found my mind wandering to Felix. He was at work right now. He usually worked with Victor but since Victor had been promoted, Felix had been stuck with Sarah so Victor could train some of the new people in the afternoons when it was slower. I knew that Victor was training two new people tonight. Felix was counting down the days until all their new summer hires were out of training mode. He didn't hate Sarah or anything, but I think it made him anxious to work with her.

I wouldn't see him until dinner tonight. I wasn't sure if that was even still on. I hoped it was but, considering that we hadn't talked since our fight yesterday, I couldn't blame him if he wanted to cancel.

Before I could fall down that rabbit hole too far, the homily was over and I fell into the familiar pattern of standing and kneeling so I looked like I was paying attention.

Sometime during church, Victor's phone died, so the list of ingredients for the meals they'd planned while I was sulking in my bedroom was inaccessible. He still insisted on going grocery shopping. We essentially ended up circling the store about a hundred times because we came up with meal ideas as we went along.

When we finally got home, it was already after noon. "Okay. Let's get some brunch on the table. Are you sure you want to come to work with me? I'm sure Felix and Pilar would love to spend some time with you."

"I'm sure."

"Okay, then put some stuff in your school bag. And grab your iPad charger. We're not going to have much time after breakfast." Adrian nodded before he ran into his room. "Sorry, I tried."

"It's fine. What's for brunch?"

"I was just gonna do some eggs, but I can make something else," he offered. "Jeffrey's sleeping over Tuesday, so I figured Wednesday, we'd do pancakes."

"I thought he was just hanging out here on Wednesday."

A sly smile crossed Victor's face. "I might've called his mom and explained that Adrian's going to be very lonely this week. They're going to drop him off after I get off of work Tuesday. So, eggs?"

"Sounds perfect. What are you putting in them?"

"Sausage, mushrooms, and onion." As he spoke, he pulled those out of one of our shopping bags. His earlier good mood seemed to have vanished.

"You good?"

"Yeah." He started chopping up vegetables. "Today's just gonna be a long day and I didn't sleep great last night."

I nodded. I knew that life.

I ended up grabbing my laptop and sitting in the living room mindlessly scrolling through Instagram for something to do until Victor called me and Adrian to come eat. Our mom called us while we were eating to make sure we went to church, freak out that Victor hadn't answered her call, make sure that we were feeding Adrian, and ask Victor why he even had a phone if he was going to ignore her.

Victor and Adrian left before I finished eating, and I was left by myself. Victor called me nearly two hours later to let me know he left his phone home, but Felix had just left.

I was antsy while I forced myself to wait the ten minutes I knew it would take him to get back. The moment I heard footsteps, I practically ran out of my apartment. I was surprised when, instead of seeing Felix ascending the stairs, he'd stopped in front of my door.

"Hi," I said quietly.

"Hi."

"Do you want to come in?"

He nodded and followed me inside. He took a seat next to me on the couch and I knew he was waiting for me. I squeezed my eyes shut for a second. I was inherently a keep-to-myself kind of person with Felix being one of the few exceptions to that rule. "This is weird for me too," I said after a long time. "But not just you being best friends with Victor. The guys I've dated… they haven't exactly been good for me. Erick… was kind of an ass. And then there's you and you're, like, one of the greatest people I know. I like spending time with you so much and…" I sighed. It had been so easy to tell Victor this last night, but whatever I'd said was now evading me. "I shouldn't have gotten as upset with you as I did. I love that you're such good friends with Victor. I just didn't want to share and that wasn't fair of me. I don't want you to have to choose between us."

A small smile settled on Felix's face. "Thanks. I never wanted to make you mad or anything. It's just, like you said, Victor's my best friend. I need him to know that it's safe for him to talk to me because… that's one of the greatest things he's done for me."

"I can't say I'm going to stop asking, but I'm going to work on it. And if you tell me that it's something just between the two of you, I won't push it." He was quiet for a minute, so I asked, "are we good?"

"Yeah. We're good," he assured me. He kissed me gently. "Are you still coming over?"

"I hope so. Is your mom still okay with me coming?"

"She, uh, doesn't know. I was really hoping I wouldn't have to tell her."

I nodded. I didn't need to ask why. "I'm really glad you don't have to," I told him. "I had a good talk with Victor last night, you know. We'll figure this out."

Felix smiled. "I know we will."

I kind of thought this would be our moment. We had the big empty apartment and dinner wasn't for a few hours. Then my mom called and let us know that Tia Lera had her baby. I think she forgot Victor was working because she asked me to call him over. She refused to tell me the name without him and Adrian, so it turned into an impromptu coffee run.

When we got to Brasstown, Victor and Adrian were literally running table to table. When he spotted me, Victor said, "okay, pause. Tables you get now do not count towards your total."

Adrian made a face but stopped what he was doing. "What's going on?" I asked.

"Both of our new hires called out, so I have no one to train," Victor explained. His eyes were on Adrian. "It's slow, so we're in the middle of… you know what? I feel like you're gonna make fun of it. What's up?"

I squinted at the blackboard behind Victor that he'd converted into a scoreboard. "Oh my God. You're doing 'Coffee Shop Olympics'? What does that even mean?"

"It means he's losing to his little brother," Adrian said from behind me.

Victor rolled his eyes, but a soft, affectionate smile that he almost exclusively reserved for Adrian settled on his face. "I don't suppose you decided to bring me my phone?" he asked hopefully.

No, I didn't. Because I hadn't thought of it. "No. Tia Lera had her baby. I told mom I'd come here and call her back." I pulled out my phone and pressed the little video camera icon by my mom's contact. She answered almost right away.

Ever the considerate one, Victor's first question was, "how was your drive?"

"Tiring," our mom told him. "But we made good time. We got here about thirty minutes before she was moved to the delivery room."

"You got there in time," Victor said relieved. "How's Tia Lera?"

Our mom frowned. "She's in a lot of pain, but she'll be okay. She's sleeping now. Do you want to meet her?"

Victor nodded eagerly. "Oh hold on." He moved aside so Adrian could stand in front of us and propped my phone up against a napkin holder. "Okay, we're ready."

She must've handed our phone off to our dad because we got a close-up of his beard for a second until the camera flipped back to our mom. She was holding the tiniest blanket bundle I'd ever seen. "Meet Camila James Rivera." It had never occurred to me that the baby would have our mom's maiden name, but it made sense because Tia Lera hadn't said a word about who the dad was. I wondered if my mom knew. "She's going to go by Mila."

Our dad moved the camera closer to her. We "ooh"ed and "ah"ed over her for about an hour until Felix pointed out we needed to get back for dinner.

Dinner with Felix's mom was almost normal. Things would never really be normal, not while Felix's suspension and refusal to tell her the truth about it hung between them, but this was better than it usually was.

Felix said as much when he dropped me off. "It's nights like this where I almost feel like I have her back," he whispered.

I hugged him tightly because there wasn't anything to say to that. "I'll see you tomorrow?" I asked.

"I'm opening tomorrow, but maybe we can do lunch when I get back," he suggested. "I know you're watching Adrian, but he can come with us. Or we can make something."

"I'd like that," I told him seriously.

I got back to my apartment at the same time as Victor and Adrian. "Okay, papa. Shower, brush your teeth, and bed. Go, go, go," he said as he opened the apartment door. It was already past his bedtime and, honestly, Adrian looked like he was ready for bed.

I followed Victor to his bedroom. "How was he?" I asked.

"He was good. How was dinner?"

"It was… dinner, you know. The food was good, but…" I trailed off because he suddenly got stiff.

"Shit, shit, shit. Benji texted me hours ago," he muttered. He looked over at me. "I'm sorry, P, but…"

I nodded. "No, I get it. Call him."

I stepped out of his room but didn't get more than a few steps before I heard Benji's voice. "Hey."

"Hey."

They were silent for almost a minute. "I'm s-" Victor started at the same time that Benji started to say something that began with, "I was."

They tried again and ended up starting at the same time again, so Victor quickly said, "let me go first. I'm so sorry, Benji. I wasn't thinking."

"I'm sorry too. I overreacted. I missed you."

"Me too." There was a slight pause. "My aunt had her baby."

I walked away as Benji was saying, "already? Is she okay?"

I sat on our couch for a while waiting for Victor to finish up. It was long enough that Adrian had gone to bed and Felix had stopped texting me which probably meant he crashed.

I really wasn't planning on listening in to his conversation, but I was inherently nosy and he was talking just loud enough that I could hear his voice from the end of the hallway. Really, I had a sisterly duty to make sure he and Benji weren't fighting. It was a lot of excuses and, even as I mentally made them, I knew I was wrong to listen in.

I got to his door in time for Victor to say, "want you to forgive yourself. You don't deserve to keep holding this over your head."

"It's just hard to think like that," Benji told him. It was usually super annoying that Victor didn't wear his headphones on FaceTime, but it was remarkably convenient right now. "It's so embarrassing."

"It doesn't have to be," Victor said gently. "I know the… thing that happened really messed with you, but…" He let out a frustrated sigh. "You're amazing and, yeah, you made a mistake, but who hasn't? I just wish you'd cut yourself the same break you've cut me."

"It's a little diff- Goddamnit, Stevie. Could you knock?"

"Why? Shit… am I interrupting some sexy time?"

"No," Victor was the one to answer. "But do you think you could walk to the end of the motel and back?"

Stevie let out a sound that kind of made him sound like a toddler being asked to do something he didn't want to do. "Fine. But I'm gonna remember this," he grumbled.

"He's gone," Benji said after a moment.

"Sorry. I just didn't want to end things like that. I believe in you, Benji. I believe in you more than I believe in anyone, and I am so proud of you."

"I know. I know that you didn't mean to make me feel like you didn't," Benji acknowledged. "This is hard for me. Especially with you because you're the best part of my life and I know you want to understand the worst part, but I still have trouble with that."

"Okay. We can work with that," Victor said. "As long as you know that I'm not going to stop trying to convince you that you are amazing and perfect, baggage and all."

Benji chuckled. "You must really love me. I'm cool with that, Vic. I can't promise I won't… overreact sometimes, but I'll work on it."

"And I'll work on being more patient. I do love you. Like a lot." Ugh. This was my punishment for eavesdropping. Despite how sickening they could be, I found a smile spreading across my face. At least I knew that they were okay.

"Love you too," Benji said.

"I feel a little attacked that you waited for me to be back to do this. Why did I even take a walk?" Stevie asked.

Victor was practically cackling. "You just have bad timing. Night, B. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Night."

I had a split-second warning before Victor opened his door fully. Their conversation left me with way more questions than answers.

I'd only just sat down on my bed when Victor knocked on my door. He had a small smile on his face that I had no doubt was the result of Benji. "I just wanted to say good night."

"How'd it go with Benji?" I asked as if I didn't know.

"We're good," he said. His smile grew. "Really good."

"I'm glad."

"I didn't have a chance to ask. How'd it go with Felix."

"We're okay," I told him. "We talked it out."

He nodded. "Good. Night."

"Night."

My next days were a medley of working around their work schedules. It felt like whenever I had free time, Felix was working. I hated this stupid alternating schedule. Tuesday, Victor took off of work so he could supervise Adrian and his friend because *apparently* I wasn't trustworthy enough for that. He'd said Jeffrey's mom had been adamant about it, but I didn't think that made sense.

Thursday was the first time all summer that they worked together. When Felix stopped by after he got off of work, he pulled me into the hallway. "Victor got held up. He should be back in an hour or two. I talked to him during our shift today," he said quietly. "We're both off tomorrow morning, and he's going to take Adrian out so, uh, it'll just be the two of us."

It put me in a good enough mood that, when Felix mentioned he'd talked to Lake about kidnapping Victor once he got back from work, I actually agreed.

It wasn't the worst thing that we'd ever done. I enjoyed myself way more than I thought I would.

Felix texted me late that night. He sent me the heart-eyes emoji and can't wait for tomorrow. I found myself smiling despite myself. I was trying not to make tomorrow the biggest deal in the world just because we'd been waiting SO LONG for this moment. Victor had no idea how lucky he was that Benji was loaded and casually had access to an isolated cabin in the middle of the woods when they were ready to start sleeping together.

Without making it an overly big deal, I wanted to make tomorrow special, so we were going to be making lunch together. As a treat, I wanted to make cupcakes for us. Felix's favorite flavor was strawberry shortcake which was what made my predicament right now particularly frustrating. My mom cooked a ton but wasn't huge on baking, so she stored her mixer on top of one of the cabinets so far to the back that I couldn't even reach it with a chair.

I stretched my arm as far as I could to try to reach it. The tips of my fingers grazed the cord. Just a little further. I shifted closer to the edge of the chair, hoping it would put me close enough.

I couldn't explain what happened next. One moment, I was so close to grabbing that mixer. The next, I was on the floor with the chair on top of me in pieces. I felt disoriented and dizzy. I couldn't remember falling; I just felt intensely confused about how I'd ended up where I was. The dizziness wore off after a minute. I tried to climb to my feet and the most intense pain I'd ever experienced shot all the way up my left leg. I fell right back down.

"Victor," I tried to call. I wasn't sure if I was audible because I couldn't hear myself over the sudden buzzing in my ears. "Victor!"

I didn't hear him, but he must've heard me because he appeared in front of me a few seconds later. He crouched down. "What happened?"

"I fell off the chair."

He picked up what used to be the back of the chair. "Fell off or fought with?" he muttered. He pushed aside the pieces of the chair. I didn't look at my leg. I didn't want to know. "Did you hit your head?"

"I don't think so. I don't remember," I admitted.

"What's going on?" Adrian asked.

"I'll be right back," Victor promised. "Hey, papa. I need you to stay in your room for a bit. I'll come in soon. Promise." He must've led Adrian back to his room because he was gone a minute before he got back to me.

He touched my ankle and I couldn't help the sound that escaped me. For something that felt so much pain, it was weird to me that it didn't feel like it was attached to my body. I couldn't begin to figure out how I was supposed to get it away from him. "Sorry," he said softly. "I'm gonna drive you to the ER. Dad's work truck is here. I don't think he'll mind."

"Why don't you call an ambulance?" Benji asked. It was the first time I realized that Victor must've been on the phone with Benji when I fell. He put his phone on the floor and I got a good look at Benji.

"We can't afford that," Victor told him.

Benji's face scrunched up. "Ambulances cost money?"

Victor closed his eyes for a second. I knew that he and Benji were so different, but sometimes it was easy to forget that. Then there were times like this. Since he'd started basketball, Victor had been given the same spiel about a hundred times. Unless we were dying, we turned down any offer of an ambulance. It didn't surprise me that Benji would never have had to worry about things like that. "Can you text Felix and tell him to come down here?" Victor asked instead of answering Benji's question. His voice was exasperated and it looked like it was taking him actual effort not to say something about Benji's question.

"On it," Benji promised. His picture disappeared but I could hear a faint tapping in the background.

"Can you stand?" Victor asked.

"I tried before and ended up here."

He frowned. "We gotta get you up somehow." He stood up and pulled a chair closer to me. "Let's just get you here. Then I can carry you down once Felix gets here." Victor moved to my left side and gently put his arm under my left knee. "Does that hurt?"

"No," I told him.

He looked relieved. "Perfect." He looked his other hand around my back and lifted. I was suddenly grateful that Victor did basketball and was in annoyingly good shape because I felt like this would have been much more painful if he couldn't pick me up so easily. He led me to the chair and didn't immediately let go of my leg; he pulled up a second chair and gently placed my foot on it. My eyes widened. It was the first time I got a good look at my ankle. It was already so swollen. I held up my right foot. Yeah, I wasn't imagining it. Victor got ice and gingerly laid it over my ankle. Even that hurt.

"It's broken, isn't it?" I asked. All those times I'd made fun of Victor because he'd broken so many bones horsing around with his friends when he was younger (never anything major - usually fingers and once his wrist), and my downfall was a damn blender. It didn't seem fair.

Victor didn't answer me. "What's the verdict with Felix?" he asked Benji.

"He says he's on his way down." His picture popped back up.

"Perfect. I'll call my mom from the car."

There was a knock on the door. "I'll be right back. Watch her, will you?"

Benji looked utterly confused as Victor walked away. "I don't know how to do that," he said quietly.

"Me neither," I admitted. "How's the tour going?"

A weird look crossed Benji's face. "It seems like people like us. We had an outdoor concert tonight, which was nice."

"You had a concert?" I asked. "Aren't you tired?"

That weird look was back as he shrugged. "Today's our last day in Miami. I wasn't sure I'd have the chance to talk to Victor tomorrow, so I tried tonight. It worked out."

"It's your last day? I thought Victor said you were in Florida for almost two weeks. I'm actually pretty sure about it. He never shuts up about your tour."

A pleased smile crossed his face. "We're gonna be in Jacksonville through Monday. Then we move on to South Carolina."

Before I had a chance to say anything else, Victor was back with Felix. "He's gonna stay here with Adrian. I'm gonna go let him know and try to get him back into bed before we leave."

He left Benji with us again, but I thought he just forgot about his phone. "What happened? Victor just said he thinks you broke your ankle."

I groaned. I'd figured as much. "I fell off a chair."

He glanced towards the corner of the kitchen where the chair lay in pieces. "How?"

"I was trying to get the mixer," I complained. "It's my mom's fault because she put it so far out of reach. And maybe a little your fault because if you liked normal cupcakes I wouldn't have needed the mixer."

His lips twitched. "I like normal cupcakes," he reminded me. "I just think strawberry shortcake is better. My mom says it was the first dessert I ate and that I never stopped."

I made a noise that I hoped sounded annoyed. "Not worth it," I grumbled.

"If you didn't want to sleep with me, you could have just said so," Felix teased. "You didn't need to go and break yourself."

"Do me a favor and don't make jokes like that in front of Victor," Benji suggested.

Felix jumped. "Sorry, Benji. I didn't realize you were there."

"I think Victor forgot about him," I told Felix.

"He didn't forget. I'm watching you, aren't I?" Benji asked.

"Are you?" I challenged.

Before he could say anything, Victor got back. "Adrian's back in bed. I'm sorry about this, but he's probably not going to stay there. He's worried about Pilar. If he asks, you can put on a movie with him, but nothing even remotely scary and I'll get him back into bed once we get back. He can have water, but no snacks."

"Got it," Felix promised.

Victor grabbed the keys from the counter. "I'm sorry if this hurts." My ankle was throbbing, so I didn't notice if there was a difference when he picked me up.

I definitely noticed as we descended the stairs, but I tried not to show him because I could tell he was stressed about this.

He helped me into the truck before he ran to the driver's side. "Can I call you back in a few minutes?" Victor asked. Benji had been so quiet, I'd honestly forgotten he was there.

"Yeah, of course."

Victor ended the call and tapped on his screen until it started to ring again.

Our mom answered on the second ring. "What's wrong?" she asked immediately.

"Why do you assume something's wrong?"

"Because it's after midnight by you." I could faintly hear some crying in the background.

"Um… so, yeah. Pilar…" he sighed. "Please don't freak. She fell off a chair. I'm taking her to the ER right now. I think she broke her ankle."

Our mom was quiet for a long time. "We're coming home."

"No!" Victor said. He got a glint in his eye that I very rarely saw. "We'll be home before you get here. I can handle whatever she needs. I will call you the moment we leave to let you know what happened. Tia Lera needs you right now and so does Mila. Stay in Texas until you have to go back to work, just like you planned. I promise I can handle this."

Victor wasn't wrong about that. We'd gotten to meet Mila over FaceTime yesterday and she hadn't stopped crying the entire time. "I want updates," our mom warned.

"As often as you want," he assured her.

"Is Adrian with you?" she asked.

"No. I had Felix come down to watch him."

"Come down or was he already there?" she asked slowly.

"He came down." Victor frowned for a second. "Pilar's been good about curfew. I couldn't find her insurance card, but I have mine in my wallet. Is that going to be okay?"

"It's the same card," our mom confirmed. "How are you getting there?"

"I took dad's truck. I know we're not supposed to drive it, but it was the only thing I could think of."

"It's fine, mijo. I'll let him know later. Are you okay?"

"Yes." He didn't look okay, but our mom couldn't see how his grip on the steering wheel tightened.

"How far are you?"

"Maybe five more minutes."

"Call me the second you leave. I don't care what time it is."

"I will," Victor promised.

He had to make that promise about a hundred times before she finally hung up. He immediately called Benji.

"Hey, I called my dad," Benji said when he answered.

"Okay," Victor said slowly.

"He wasn't super thrilled to be woken up at 2 am."

"That's not on your dad's bucket list?" Victor asked sarcastically. He suddenly looked guilty about something. "Sorry, that was stupid. Forget I said that. Why'd you call him?

"His friend works in the hospital. He is in charge of all the doctors and nurses, so he's kind of a big deal. When you get there, tell them you're with Charles Campbell and they'll get you in right away."

Victor let out a breath. "Thank you." He pulled into the hospital parking lot and drove around until he got to the entrance to the ER. He parked in the spot closest to the entrance. "Stay here. I'll see if they can bring a wheelchair out for you."

"Where could I go?" I asked.

He didn't answer me as he grabbed his phone and hopped out. I heard him say, "will you stay on?" as he shut his door.

He was only gone a minute before someone in deep blue scrubs appeared pushing an empty wheelchair. Victor opened my door and the two of them helped me into the chair.

I was immediately wheeled into an exam room. The nurse eyed Victor before she started reading off a series of questions. I didn't understand why some of it was relevant or why she insisted on giving me a pregnancy test before she'd take me for an x-ray despite the fact that I told her I hadn't had sex in well over a year.

It wasn't until the doctor came in nearly an hour later with a copy of my x-ray that I figured out what was going on. He didn't introduce himself and, instead, started shooting rapid-fire questions at me. The questions he asked confused me until he blatantly asked if we'd been intimate right before we came here.

Victor stared. "You think that we were having sex and that's how she got hurt?" he asked incredulously.

"She's barely dressed and your shirt is on inside out," the doctor pointed out. "It's not a stretch."

It was the first time I'd noticed that Victor's shirt was inside out, and I felt like I suddenly understood Benji's weirdness before. I had a feeling my fall interrupted some FaceTime sex. I shook my head because I didn't need to think about that. "I am fully dressed," I argued. I felt like this guy would get along really well with my mom.

"Also, and maybe this is more important than how either of us is dressed, she's my sister," Victor told him.

"Sister?" The doctor looked at me to confirm. Did people lie about things like that?

"Yeah. He's my older brother. That's why he drove me here."

The doctor frowned. "How did this happen then?"

"I used a chair to reach for something and fell."

He glanced at the x-ray. "It must've been some fall."

"How bad is it?" Victor asked. He looked like a weird mix between anxious and angry. The guy didn't acknowledge his question which only pushed Victor closer to angry.

"Is it broken?" I asked.

"Yes. You have a hairline fracture in your ankle and two breaks in your foot."

"Does she need a cast?"

Once again, the doctor ignored him. "Do I?" I pressed.

"Yes." He peered at the x-ray again. "I'll have our NP come in and get you wrapped up. You'll need to contact an orthopedic. You'll probably be in a cast for eight weeks or so and then you'll be in a boot for a few weeks. You're going to want to keep it elevated."

"Can I ask if she can take any painkillers or will you only answer her?" Victor asked. The doctor's face tightened. "Jesus," Victor muttered.

"Can I take anything?" I asked. "It really hurts."

"You broke three bones. I'd expect it to. You can take any over-the-counter pain meds."

"She broke three bones. Will something like Tylenol work?" Victor asked skeptically.

Once again, he ignored Victor. "I'm sure it will be fine," I said to appease Victor because I didn't think it would be a good idea for him to get into a fight with my doctor. Though, a hospital was probably a pretty good place to do it because at least someone would be able to patch him up right away.

My doctor flipped through some papers before he handed me a packet and walked out. "Don't take this the wrong way, but your dad's friend is a dick," Victor grumbled.

"I don't know what that was. I've met him a few times, and he's never been that weird before. But, I always saw him with my dad and I never claimed that my dad had stellar friends. He just has friends in high places."

"I think I know. He gave me a bunch of stuff on resources for women in abusive relationships. There's an entire sheet just for teens," I told him. Part of me thought it was great that he was offering me these resources because it hopefully meant that women that needed them got them as well, but it was uncomfortable to know that he was adamant that Victor was my boyfriend.

Victor groaned. "Next time you break a bone, you can crawl to the hospital," he muttered.

I knew he didn't actually mean it and a different doctor walked in a few minutes later. "Hey there," he said. He was cute in a way-too-old-for-me kind of way. "My name is Kyle." No doctor. Just Kyle. I liked it. "I hear we took a little tumble."

"Yeah."

He glanced at Victor. "Are you comfortable with him being here?"

"He's my brother," I said annoyed. "Of course, I'm comfortable with him being here."

Kyle frowned and looked at his clipboard before he chuckled. "So that's not a lie."

"Not a lie," Victor confirmed. He still looked pissed which Kyle didn't miss.

"Don't let it get under your skin. He's our resident Dr. House." Victor and I stared at him, and he put his hand over his heart. "Ouch. The youths these days. They don't know anything about good TV." It would have been offensive if he wasn't smiling and if he didn't have a literal twinkle in his eye. "So, brother. Not boyfriend."

"Not boyfriend. If you need proof…" He held up his phone. "This is my boyfriend."

Benji waved. It was the first time I noticed that they'd switched to FaceTime at some point. The nurse whistled. "How'd you manage to snag this cutie?" he asked.

Victor grinned. "I ask myself that every day."

"I was talking to the boyfriend."

"Oh…" Victor looked mortified which caused Kyle to let out a big laugh.

"So why is this cute boyfriend on the phone and not with you right now?"

"Because he's currently touring with his band," Victor explained.

Kyle stared for a second. "For real, for reals?" he asked. "Anyone I've heard of?"

"Probably not," Benji answered. "This is our first tour."

"But probably not his last," Victor added. "People love him. They're called the Babbling Fungi." It was still weird to me to hear their band name. Victor had told me that they used to be called the Sticky Beaks but after Derek left and some kid name Sky followed and they found two new players, they felt like a new band, so they rebranded.

Kyle looked apologetic. "Sorry. I don't recognize the name." He turned back to me. "I didn't forget about you. So, I'm gonna go ahead and get your ankle wrapped up. We're gonna wrap it up real tight from right before your toes to right below your knee." He pointed to himself to demonstrate. "We do a layer of cotton. Don't worry. That won't make it any more comfortable. Then we'll do about ten to fifteen rolls of Ace Bandage. It's only temporary because we don't have anyone here that can cast you. When you follow up with an orthopeodic, you'll get to pick out your color. If some people are too peopley for you, I suggest a darker color."

I snorted. Too peopley just about summed up my life perfectly. I really liked Kyle.

"Do you have a list of orthopedics we can go see?" Victor asked.

"I can get that for you. If you go to the one in the medi-center, you'll have the pleasure of meeting my twin. He's one of the orthopedics there. Ask for Dr. Sullivan and he'll fix you right up. We're identical, but don't let that fool you. I'm the better-looking one."

I snickered. "Will she be getting crutches?" Victor asked. I'd be offended that he was asking these questions on my behalf, but I wouldn't have thought to ask them, so I let him do his thing.

"Yes," Kyle said. "You'll want to check with your insurance to see if they'll cover a knee scooter. She won't be able to put any weight on it as long as she's in the cast and crutches can be a bitch after a while." He turned back to me. "If your insurance won't cover it, there are pads you can buy for your crutches, or you can use old towels and tie them to your crutches. Are you doing summer school or do you work at a place where your responsibilities are going to be impacted?"

"No."

"Great. That makes your life so much easier. We don't have to excuse you from class or anything like that. You will definitely still be in a boot by the time school starts. You might even still be in a cast, so you'll need to ask your orthopedic for a note. If you're taking gym, you'll be excused for however long you are recovering. If there are stairs in your school, it will stipulate that you'll need to use the elevator. And you'll probably be able to leave class early or be late to class to ensure you're not in the hallway when everyone else is. Most people after a break like this have to do some kind of PT. Do you have any questions for me?"

"No. I don't think so." I felt like he threw a lot at me, but I didn't think there was anything that mattered right now.

"Okay. We're gonna get started."

He made pretty quick work of it. I was given crutches, but Victor got permission for me to be wheeled out to the car. Benji yawned loud enough that I heard him when Victor got me settled into the car. Before he backed out of his spot, he held up his phone. "It's almost four; you should get some sleep. You okay?" Benji nodded. "Thanks for staying on with me. Call me when you get up tomorrow."

"I'll probably be up before you. You deserve a day to sleep in," Benji pointed out.

Victor snorted. "Right. And maybe my mom will give up church." Benji made a disgruntled sound. "Go to sleep. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Love you."

"Love you too."

He called our mom next. "Is she okay?" Our mom answered.

"Yes. She broke her ankle and foot. She's wrapped up and needs to see an orthopedic to get a cast, but she's okay," he told her. "We're gonna call the ortho tomorrow. You're on speaker if you want to talk to her."

"How are you feeling?" my mom asked. Her voice was suddenly soft and concerned.

"I'm okay. Really. Victor is taking really good care of me. He's gonna take me home and then we're all gonna go to sleep," I told her. I fake yawned to make her think I was sleepy.

"How's Mila?" Victor asked.

"Fast asleep in my arms. She's perfect. Such a little angel," our mom cooed. "Doesn't she make you want another one?"

"No," our dad answered. I got the idea this wasn't the first time they'd had this conversation.

"Picture it. Another little girl. We could even it out for Pilar," our mom suggested.

"No," our dad repeated. Our mom made an annoyed sound. "You always get like this when you're around babies. What's your plan? One kid in college and one in diapers. No. You can wait for Victor to have a kid."

"On that note. We're gonna be home in two minutes. I'll check in with you tomorrow," Victor said. "Good night."

He quickly hung up the phone. "We're not going to be home in two minutes," I observed.

"I know," he admitted. "I just didn't want to listen to mom and dad talk about my future hypothetical children."

I studied him. "Why are you being weird?"

He glanced at me out of the side of his eye. "Maybe you're the one being weird."

I snickered. "Right. Despite your best attempts, they did not hop me up on painkillers," I pointed out. "So what's going on?"

He chewed on his lip. "Chances are I'm never going to have a kid who's biologically mine. Surrogacy is expensive. We're probably gonna adopt one day and that's not exactly an easy process," he finally said. "I just think it might be longer than mom and dad think." He sighed. "I don't know if they've thought about how kids will work for me and… I don't think I'm ready to have that conversation with them."

I stared at him because, until he said it, I'd given zero thought to him having kids. But he'd clearly thought about it a lot. We were quiet for a long time. "Hey, Vic?" I asked when he pulled into the parking lot behind our apartment complex.

"Yeah?" I opened and closed my mouth. I didn't even know where to start. "Are you okay?" He looked at me anxiously as if he expected me to shatter to pieces where I was sitting.

"Yeah. I just, uh… do you want to talk about it? What it'll be like for you to have kids?" I played with the edge of my shorts.

"No offense, but no. I did my research a few months ago so I'm ready whenever Benji and I talk about it, but I don't want to talk about it until then."

"Okay. Then can you get me upstairs? I'm really tired."

He nodded. "Maybe we can set up camp in the living room? You know Adrian's gonna wanna sleep with you and you'll have more space this way."

"I'd be fine with that." I yawned - a real one this time.

Victor helped me out of the car. He must've been as exhausted as I was, but he didn't falter as he helped me up the stairs. "I'm gonna have you practice with your crutches tomorrow," he told me. He currently had them hanging over his shoulder like they were a bag. "They're not as easy to use as they may look." I scoffed, and he chuckled. "I'm serious."

"Whatever." I doubted they were that bad. I felt like he was being way too dramatic about them.

"Don't say I didn't warn you." He knocked on the door and Adrian was the one to answer. Victor smiled at him as he stepped into our apartment. "I guess you got Felix to let you stay up." As if he hadn't specifically given permission to Felix for just that.

"I wanted to make sure you both were okay," Adrian said. Sometimes, Adrian seemed particularly young and this was one of those moments. I didn't know what it was. Maybe it was how small he sounded or how little he looked in his pajamas or how he clearly fought to stay awake.

Victor helped me over to the couch and gently put me down. "What do you think about having a sleepover out here?" he asked. "We can grab some sleeping bags."

Adrian jumped on board so quickly.

I honestly didn't remember him coming back with pillows and sleepings bags; I was asleep long before that.

When I woke up the next morning, my foot was throbbing. I mean THROBBING. I'd never felt anything like it before. "Vic," I moaned. He was by my side in a second.

"Here," he offered as he passed me two small pills and a glass of water. "I don't think it'll be enough, but we can ask your orthopedic what they recommend today." I tilted my head. "Turns out, Kyle reached out to his brother and he's squeezing us in. You're gonna make me late for work, but it'll be worth it to get you in."

"What time?"

"1," he answered. "I figured we could take a family trip. If you're up for it, we can grab lunch on the way out. We'll have to leave soon if you want to do that."

I wasn't sure because all I could think about was the steady throbbing in my foot, but I nodded anyway. "I think that's a good idea. Where's Adrian?"

"In his room on his iPad." Victor looked at me uncomfortably. "Look, I really hope I didn't overstep, but I figured you might want to get dressed at some point today, so I called someone for help."

I eyed him. My immediate thought was that he must've called Lake which, not for nothing, no way. She was great and all, but I did not want to depend on my boyfriend's ex.

Someone knocked on the door before he could tell me. "Hey, thanks for this."

The relief I felt when Mia walked into our family room left me feeling giddy… or maybe the Tylenol Victor gave me just kicked in really fast. "No problem." Mia looked over at me with a friendly smile. I knew she was back, but this was the first time I'd seen her in a really long time. Apparently, Andrew had some dinner with his parents last night, so Mia had to go to that instead of out with us. "How are you feeling?"

"Like daisies," I said sarcastically.

She chuckled. "Right. Well, tell me how I can help? Do you need to shower?" I stared because I'd given zero consideration to my shower situation. "When I got my high ankle sprain, Lake had to help me with a lot of stuff. It was embarrassing at first… then it was normal."

"High ankle sprain?" I questioned.

"Yeah. We were in 7th grade. Lake was into this guy that could skateboard and… it didn't end well," Mia explained. "Apparently, they're common in high-contact sports, and when your best friend convinces you that skateboarding is a good idea. I was in a cast for eight weeks after my surgery and in a boot for twelve weeks after that."

"I don't think I need a shower yet, but I need to change," I said. I pushed myself so I was sitting up. Victor had to help me find my balance on one foot and then it was a whole process to use the crutches.

It wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be. It helped that it was Mia and not… anyone else. Literally, I thought she was the only person that this wouldn't be completely mortifying with.

I asked Mia if she wanted to come out to lunch with us, but she already had plans with Andrew. She promised she'd be back tonight before she hugged Victor and left.

"Was that okay? I didn't think you'd want me to help."

"Thanks for thinking of that," I said sincerely. I did feel better in clean clothes.

He got Adrian and helped me down the stairs. It took so long, but he never complained. Lunch was fine. I think Adrian was really happy to be included this time, which was nice to see even if I felt like I was constantly aware of my foot.

When we got to the orthopedic, we found out Kyle was not joking. I would've thought it was still him if Dr. Sullivan didn't talk so different than he did. Whereas Kyle had joked around with us, Dr. Sullivan was all business.

He almost immediately wheeled me over to a cabinet. He opened two doors under a sink, so I could see rows and rows of colors.

I ended up going with green because Victor pointed out that Felix would want to be able to sign it. It was dark enough that I hoped it would deter most people that might want to pretend to be my best friend - I didn't understand the appeal of signing casts, but I'd seen people swarm to do it at Creekwood and I wanted to be as far from that scene as possible.

I did feel better once I was in the cast. It didn't feel like it was putting as much pressure on my foot.

I was exhausted by the time we got back. To my surprise, Victor didn't immediately leave for work. He waited for Felix. "He's going to hang out with you. I'm going to take Adrian to work with me." Another thing I hadn't thought about. I was essentially going to be useless when it came to babysitting Adrian. "Sarah knows what's going on, so I'll have my phone on me the whole time. Call me if you need anything, okay?" I wasn't sure who his words were for, but Felix was the one to agree.

I hated this. It was honestly the worst. I mean, it was nice that it brought Mia into my life because I'd barely talked to her since Victor came out. I'd forgotten how great Mia was. Every morning and night, Mia was there for me. She never complained or made me feel uncomfortable about it. She actually seemed to enjoy herself as much as I did.

I forgot how nice it was to have a girlfriend. I could talk to her about Felix and hear about Andrew. We could talk about my mom and her mom and our families. We could talk about anything. It was nice. Different than talking to Felix or Victor or Rahim or Ryker. It was even different than talking to Noelle. Mia got me in a different way.

Other than Mia, this sucked. I couldn't do anything for myself. Our insurance didn't cover the knee scooter which meant I was stuck with crutches for the foreseeable future and crutches sucked!

Everyone was getting on my nerves. I snapped at Victor and Felix and Adrian and essentially everyone that tried to talk to me. I couldn't explain my foul mood except for how much I hated that I had to depend on other people for EVERYTHING. It also didn't help that my mom was balancing their checking account way more often now and the nervous whispers she shared with my dad made me sure that our trip to the ER cost them more than they had.

A week after Victor went away to his basketball program, I reached my breaking point. Andrew probably didn't deserve for me to unload on him outside my dad's office, but he'd been there when I tripped on my crutches and fell, and I was so embarrassed. I was only there because my mom had to drop me off at my dad's building during her lunch break so he would be able to leave work early to take me to my doctor's appointment which made me feel helpless, and I did not like feeling helpless. So, when he helped me to my feet, I tried to shove past him, which DID NOT work with the crutches, and sent him sprawling down the hallway. It really wasn't intentional.

He was totally sweet about it. He helped me to the couch in the break room and started making two cups of coffee from the coffee pot set up in the back of the room. I knew Victor liked Andrew and Mia thought the world of him, but I always thought he was kind of a dick.

Maybe I should have given him the benefit of the doubt.

He got me a cup of coffee before he sat across from me. "Feeling better?" he asked.

"Honestly? Yeah, a little. What are you doing here?"

"I'm working here this summer."

I stared at him. I couldn't have been more surprised. I didn't think Andrew was the kind of kid that had to work. Then again, Benji had a job and his parents were loaded, so I shouldn't be quick to jump to assumptions. "Your dad never mentioned anything? Or Mia? It seems like she's always over at your place."

I detected the slightest hint of jealousy. "No, neither of them said anything. Do you work with my dad's crew?"

"Sort of. I'm like his intern. My dad set this up." He frowned. "Your dad's pretty great to work for. What brings you here?" He glanced at my cast. "I'm assuming you're not here to work."

"I have an appointment," I grumbled. "And since I can't even walk down a damn hallway, my mom dropped me off here so my dad could take me. Before you ask, no. I have no choice but to use the stupid crutches because our insurance doesn't cover the knee scooter, and we can't afford one, so I'm stuck being miserable for at least four to six more weeks."

He looked startled. "That sucks," he said simply. He frowned and traced the edge of his Styrofoam cup with his thumb. "This is my punishment for running off with Mia. My parents wanted me to see what kind of work I could be doing without their… money." He looked a little guilty. "My first couple days here, I was throwing myself a massive pity party. Then, Mia told me to look for the positives and it was a game-changer. I'm still not unconvinced that that's part of the reason your dad ended up being my boss and not the jerk that was here my first week."

I sighed. "She says the same thing to me."

"I'd listen to her. She's usually right." I could see it. While he talked about her, I could see how much he loved her. "She's always getting me to talk about stuff I don't want to talk about, and it usually helps. If you want to talk, I'm here."

At first, I wasn't sure if I wanted to but, once I started talking, I couldn't make myself stop until I'd unloaded everything and was left feeling empty. Andrew never interrupted and never looked at me like I was being the most irrational person on the planet.

Andrew's eyebrows scrunched together when I finished. "That sounds really shitty," he said simply. Honestly, it was exactly what I needed to hear. I didn't need to be told to look for the silver lining; I needed someone to acknowledge that this was allowed to suck.

My dad showed up when Andrew was making himself a second cup of coffee. "Ready for your appointment?" he asked.

"Yeah." I looked at Andrew. "Thanks for talking."

"Anytime," he promised.