2 months, 61 days, 1460 hours. That's how long she has been away from him. The closeness and bond they have created after she went to France was almost non-existent now and that was not okay with her. She missed her best friend, she missed the long conversations on the phone after their daughter went to sleep, she missed having him around the apartment, even if it was just for a short period of time. There were no more texts telling each other about their days and a huge part of her was regretting the decision to let things get carried away between them.
Ten years was a long time to be attached to someone the way they were to each other, and each time they crossed the line it became even harder to take a step back and let go. As she played their last night all back again in her mind, she wondered if she should have reached out to him. It had been magical, just like the one before that and she would let the memory warm her body until she was asleep. But everytime she would wake up and come back to reality she would remember that this time something changed in him and she was terrified that it had been the wrong move to make.
Soon after he went back home he stopped texting her back, he would always come up with an excuse for taking so long to reply. I had back to back classes, Rach. I'm sorry. But no matter how many excuses he would give her she just couldn't move past the feeling that had been rooted in her since that birthday party all those years ago.
He never ignored her calls though, but he always made sure it was all about Emma. He would try to talk to their daughter, pretend he understood her own little language with a few correct sentences here and there, but every time she lost interest in the phone call he would wish Rachel the best and hang up the phone.
She even tried asking Monica if she could find out what was going on with her brother, but even her best friend seemed a little aloof. Rach, maybe you should just give him some time. But time for what though? She was just as devastated that they couldn't find a way to work things out, but the difference between them was that she had this intense need to have him as close as possible, in any way she could. While Ross opted to run as far away as possible.
She didn't know quite what to do or say that would communicate how much she missed him, how much she needed him.
So instead of thinking about Ross all the time, she threw all of her energy into work. She would take part in every meeting, while also trying to take care of everything at home. Bouncing back and forth between Louis Vuitton and daycare to the point of exhaustion but she was determined to do it all and forget about him. Her feelings were still too raw to dwell on things but every time her head hit the pillow at night her mind would wonder and not even exhaustion would prevent her from vividly remembering a night, not so long ago, in the very same bed. The night everything changed.
She had just gotten out of a meeting when she decided to call him, she had decisions to make, trips to organize. Thanksgiving was just two weeks away and she needed to know if her plan to stay with him was still on. She hated not knowing where they stood right now.
Her anxiety grew as the phone rang. It all felt so different now.
"Hello", she had called his landline so he wouldn't check the caller ID.
"Ross, hi. It 's me." She was apprehensive but still, she soldiered on and kept talking. "Look, I managed to take those few days off we talked about and I''l be able to fly to New York and spend Thanksgiving with you guys."
"That's awesome, Rachel. I'm glad to hear it", he answered after a few seconds in silence.
"I talked to Monica a couple of months ago and I told her I'd probably stay at your place since she has her hands full with the twins plus all the cooking, but I wanted to run the idea by you." She didn't even let him answer, she was that nervous, so she just kept talking.
"I figured, you know, that you would want to be as close to Emma as possible after these months apart and she misses you very much." She was rambling now. "I know it's no ideal after everything but–"
"Rach"
"we shouldn't let these things keep in the way, you know–"
"Rach!" She finally stopped talking. "Slow down. It's fine, I would love to have you both here."
"Really?"
"Of course. You don't have to worry about what happened, we will be careful. We won't let that happen again."
Well, that was a bummer. She knew they couldn't work things out right now but she still enjoyed their time together. Sex with Ross had always been amazing and he got even better at it, if possible, after he read that "Sex for Dummies" book. For the last three years he had been her only source of release and she was not okay with him putting them off the table. She thought she had made it clear to him right after that dreadful trip to Long Island. But she would go along for now, she would humour him.
"Great. We will be landing on the 24th, Wednesday night. I'll email you so you have the flight information, I'll get a cab so you don't have to pick us up."
"No way. I'll be there waiting for you guys."
"Okay then. If that's what you want." She had a little smile on her face. Things might be rocky but they would work it out, like they usually did.
After they hung up she called Monica to let her know what the plan was. She couldn't wait to go back and see everyone, especially the twins. She missed her best friends so much, even more so after finding it so hard to make new ones in Paris. She never bothered herself with the intricacies of meeting new people before because she always felt complete with the six people she had around her. They were all she needed in her life. But now, she felt completely the opposite, she felt lonely. She couldn't just cross the hall or the street anymore and that scared her.
She missed having face to face adult conversations as well. Her co-workers didn't feel like friends, not even acquaintances, they were distant and the language barrier always prevented her from starting conversations. She spoke every day on the phone with Monica and Phoebe, but they always had something to do or to be somewhere. The only one who provided her with long conversations was Ross, until now…She hoped to change that.
Wednesday came and with it all the wrong things that could possibly happen to her. Emma had woken up grumpy and with a fever, not an ideal situation to travel. It would be hell for the other passengers since her daughter would most likely be crying throughout the entire flight. She then managed to spill milk all over her while preparing breakfast. To make things worse she couldn't find her passport, almost causing her to miss her cab to the airport.
As she predicted, her daughter had been restless and whiny which earned them a few looks from other passengers. Emma was an angel most of the time so Rachel knew she must have been feeling really poor.
She felt a huge relief when she spotted Ross amongst the crowd and noticed the moment he realized how exhausted she was.
"Hey!" She said, "I wasn't sure you'd be here."
"Hey. Welcome back." His smile seemed a bit forced. "Of course I'm here, I said a would, didn't I?"
She reached out to hug him, Emma was finally asleep in her stroller, and although his body was noticeably more rigid than usual it still felt great to be in the warmth of his arms and to take a deep breath of his delicious scent.
"I'm glad you guys are here." He said while looking down at their daughter. "Is everything okay?"
"Yeah, she just woke up with a fever and didn't feel really good during the flight. People were not happy with her." She let out a chuckle. "I spent every waking hour with her, didn't get the chance to sleep."
"Come on, you must be really tired, it's almost 2am for you in Paris."
"I left at 6pm and got here at 8.30pm, how crazy is that?" She told him as they walked towards the exit, hoping to ease the tension. He smiled at her but didn't say anything. "Is everything okay?" She tried again.
"Yeah, everything is fine."
"Are you sure?"
"I'm fine." Ugh that word again. It meant he was anything but fine. "I'm the last person you should be worrying about right now, okay? It's nothing."
She paused to examine his face but decided not to press him about it.
She had missed this place so much. That was the first thought that crossed her mind as they crossed the threshold of his apartment. He was heading to her old room when he asked. "Are you hungry?"
A loud growl was heard in the room and they both chuckled. "Well, I think that answers your question. I'm starving."
"How about some pizza? I can order while you sort everything out in your room." He said pointing behind him.
"Sounds good."
After spending so many hours confined in an airplane with her child, a casual night in with Ross was exactly what she needed. While he ordered their dinner and put their daughter in her crib, she took a nice, hot shower, letting the shitty day go down the drain.
She felt refreshed when she stepped back into the living room. She had just wrung out her hair when the doorbell rang and the smell of pizza invaded her nostrils.
"That was fast." She excused herself. "I'm going to dry my hair real quick. I'll be right back."
After she finished with her hair, she went into the kitchen where she could hear Ross setting the table for them both. "As always, this pizza smells so good." He didn't respond and resumed his task.
As the two of them sat at the kitchen table and started eating he looked at her, like he was unsure of how to act around her.
"How 's the pizza?" He asked.
"It 's really good. Thank you. What time did you tell Monica we would be there tomorrow?" She wanted him to feel comfortable around her, she wanted him to know that even though they couldn't make things work right now she was still the old Rachel. His Rachel, as he had put it.
"She told us to be there at 11am. She says you guys have a lot of catching up to do so we better get there on time. Her words, not mine." He smiled. The first genuine smile of the day.
"I just hope Emma wakes up feeling better. I hate seeing her feeling so poor."
"Don't worry about it, I'll keep an eye on her so you can rest tonight."
"Thank you, Ross." She placed her hand on his but it didn't take long for him to retract it and resume eating his slice of pizza.
They would have to talk, but not tonight. She was too tired to think and form coherent sentences. They had until Sunday and she would make sure they talked things out.
Hi, guys! Sorry for taking so long to update but life, covid and everything else got in the way. I'll try to update more often now, hope you still care about this story lol
