TFA: Youngling

Ch.9~ Can't you see it's broken?

I stared forward as I saw the horrifying image of my precious Ja standing with his servos open. His pose wasn't horrifying, no what terrified me was the gaping hold in his chestplates with energon dripping down from it. Even his normally warm smile was marred by the energon dripping from it. His optics were dull, barely on and they flickered in and out every so often.

I wanted to rush forward to hug him but I knew what would happen if I did. All the energon flowing out of him would drip onto me reminding me how wrong his appearance was. No, to run to him would only serve to remind me in detail that he was dead. No comfort could come from running into his arms, no matter how much I craved to do it.

"What's wrong sweetspark?" he asked, his voice was rich and full of love but backed by unnatural static.

"You're gone…" I muttered, he took a lurching step forward, his frame barely able to perform the movement.

"Come ta me, it's alright sweetspark." He continued; I shook my helm taking a step back.

"It's not alright," I argued, he lurched forward again this time it caused a gush of energon to burst from his chestplates.

"Why are ya scared? What did I do?" he pleaded; tears filled his optics and I felt tears pour down my cheekplates.

"You're gone, you died, don't you get that!" I cried, he rushed forward and pulled me into his hold.

I felt my tanks churn as the smell of energon hit my olfactory sensors, it dripped onto my frame still warm. All I wanted to do was scream but I found myself rendered silent. I wanted to be comforted by his embrace by the hand he rubbed up and down my backstruts, but nothing about this could be comforting. He was dead, every second I spent in this embrace drove that point home.

"I got ya, I won't let go." He hushed, I wanted to scream in protest.

(End Dream)

I awoke with a start, I felt my fans spinning fast as I gasped out vents, I jumped at a hand landing on me. I turned to see Prowl looking at me with a concerned expression. I felt myself calm at I stared at him; it was a dream I was still in this new world. My Ja could never be here, alive or dead… I heard him sit down next to me as he gently pulled me into a hug. I leaned into him, his field was warm and soothing as I finished calming down.

"Bad dream?" he asked, I nodded my helm. "Want to talk about it?"

"I have this dream sometimes… I see Ja he's not really alive, at least he shouldn't be, he's bleeding and covered in energon. All he wants to do is hold me and comfort me but… I hate it, as soon as I'm in his arms all I feel is warm energon dripping onto me. I know he's dead, I know he can't do that…" I explained, I felt my vents quicken.

"It's over." He hushed, I leaned into him.

"I miss him, I want him to hold me again. I want to hear him sing, hear him talk… But he's gone and he's never coming back…" I muttered, I turned into his embrace cuddling myself into his plating. "He's gone, and there was nothing I could do…"

"I know…" he soothed; I buried my faceplate over his chestplates. "I'm sorry you had to lose him."

"I wasn't worth it…" I murmured, Ja died and it's all my fault.

"To him you were, you worth more than you could ever imagine to him." He argued, I felt tears fall down my cheekplates.

"Why did he have to die?" I asked, does Primus hate me?

"We may never why we lose the one we do in life, but I think it best to remember them for how they touched our lives while they were here." He mused, I couldn't help a smile at that.

"Ja was the best, I would never trade the time we had together for anything," I explained, I pulled back and smiled up at Prowl. "Thanks for reminding me of that."

"Not at all, remember I am here for you." He soothed rubbing my helm gently.

I smiled up at him, Prowl was a very kind mech, I was glad I got to meet him. I'm not sure how long we'll get to be together… One day I'm sure I'll be sent away, given to someone else… But I'll treasure the time I get to with Prowl and this team. They're all very precious to me.

(Bumblebee's POV)

I smiled as I hoisted Star up onto my shoulderplates, the others were out searching the city and I volunteered to stay with Star. I set my wheels down and began to roll around the room. Star was giggling excitedly as I raced around the quiet rooms of the base. It was nice to see her relax and be a kid.

"Faster!" she cheered; I kicked my wheels into high gear turning corners even sharper.

"I'm the fastest bot alive!" I cheered as I skidded around another corner.

I heard something as I turned the next corner, my optics widened as I saw Bulkhead. I tried to slow down but it was too late, I let out a scream. I felt him grab my shouderplates lifting me up as my wheels spun a few seconds more before stopping. I let out a sigh and looked up at him warily.

"Boss-bot told you about racing inside." He chastised setting me down on my pedes.

"Well, no one was supposed to be home." I huffed, I felt Star lean on my helm.

"Bee's super fast, and you caught us, that was so cool." She cheered, I smirked a bit and looked up at Bulk.

"Yeah, good catch bud," I added, he was blushing now he was fun to tease.

"We should all play something," Star suggested, I grinned and leaned against Bulkhead.

"Yeah, come on big lug play with us." I insisted, he scratched his chinplate.

"Well I guess I can, what were you two thinking?" he asked, I hadn't thought that far ahead.

"Lob!" she cheered, lob never heard of that.

"What's that?" Bulkhead asked, she moved to get off so I set her down and she raced over to a pile of scrap.

"You mash a bunch of scrap metal into a ball and toss it to each other." She explained, that sounded fun, I guess.

"Oh I think I've seen humans play this, I think Sari called it, catch." Bulkhead stated, oh I think I've seen that too.

"Back home Bulky loved to play this game, he said it was a game all Wreckers loved to play." She explained, I tilted my helm.

"Wrecker?" I quizzed, she turned to me nodding her helm.

"Yeah, they're a team of Autobots who work outside of the main army and take on really dangerous missions. Bulky was a Wrecker, so were my big brothers." She elaborated, she had brothers?

"You have brothers?" Bulk asked looking excited, he had tons of siblings back on Cybertron.

"Yeah, they're twins. They were really strong; they were also big pranksters. They were nicknamed the Terror Twins." She chimed, twins?!

"Wow twins, that's really rare." Bulk stated, I nodded.

"Yeah, I don't even think I've ever even seen a set of twins," I added.

"Their names were Sunstreaker and Sideswipe. Sunny was quiet but he could draw beautiful things. Sides was a big goofball always the life of the party and was the main prankster. They were Bee's best friends back in my world, you three were all the same age and grew up together during the war." She rambled, so I was friends with a set of twins.

"Wow, sounds cool," I commented, she grinned and raced over and grabbed me and Bulk's servos.

"You guys are best friends, right? When did you meet?" she quizzed, I rubbed the back of my helm.

"We met in boot camp," I answered, she looked at me confused. "It's where you trained to enter the Elite Guard."

"Oh…" she muttered. "How was that?"

"Not the greatest," I admitted, she nodded her helm looking sad. "Something wrong Star?"

"Things are so different here…" she muttered, I crouched down and pulled her into a hug.

"Hey, it's alright to miss home." I soothed, she leaned into my plating.

"It's not just that…" she muttered; I rubbed her backstruts soothingly. "I don't want to sound mean but… From some of the things, I've learned since I arrived… Your Cybertron sounds like a bad place…"

"What makes you say that?" I quizzed.

She broke free from my hold and pushed up her visor, behind it I saw a pair of golden optics. Her pupils were two circles with a line on either end. They were beautiful. She looked to be gauging my reaction, I reached over and rubbed her helm.

"Rache and Prower said that I shouldn't show bots my optics… They'd think I was a Con…" she stated.

I remember that speech from academy, any optics that weren't blue could be a sign of a Decepticon spy. Autobots had blue optics, no exceptions. Star was from another world, that probably wasn't true there. I mean barely anything seemed to match up between our worlds. I know why Ratchet and Prowl would tell her to keep them hidden… Why did she wear a visor anyway?

"Can you see?" I quizzed, she looked at me confused. "I mean most bots here wear visors because their optics aren't the best."

"Oh, no my visions fine… It belonged to my Carrier, it's the only thing I have left of him…" she explained, reaching up to gently touch the visor. "Back home optic colors were usually linked to your caste, your rank in society. My Carrier was born poor and was forced into the slave trade when he was little. He almost always wore this visor; it's got cool mods that he used for spying…"

"You're Carrier was a slave…?" I stated in disbelief, she nodded her helm.

"Uhuh, my Sire convinced his Sire to buy Carrier and bought him to Praxus where he could live free… My Cybertron wasn't a good place before the war." She admitted, "It was originally a war of good intentions, but it morphed into something else."

"So did the Autobots start the war then?" Bulk asked, she shook her helm.

"No, Megatron in my world was originally fighting for equality with my Opmis but when Opmis was given the title of Prime he decided to take over by force… Maybe if the world had been kinder, he wouldn't have become the warmonger he is…" she explained.

"Cybertron isn't perfect here, but I think things are a bit different here. I never heard anything like that about why our war started, the Decepticons just wanted to take over the planet." I explained, she nodded her helm but didn't seem convinced. "You don't believe me, do you?"

"No, I believe that you think what your saying is true… I've learned something about your higher-ups that makes me doubt them. Blame is easy to place when you won the war."

"Come on Star that's a bit negative." Bulk stated, rubbing her helm. "Let's drop this for now, you can show us that lob game."

"Okay, I'll need your help to make the ball though, Bulk." She chimed, what had been world been like to give her such negative views?

(Prowl's POV)

Star has been acting odd since I returned, not just her, Bee and Bulk seemed off. They kept looking at her with a confused sad expression, had something happened? I could hear a yawn, looking I saw Star beginning to look tired as she watched Bee play a video game. Bee reached over to rub her helm.

"Think it's time you went to bed." He stated, she let out a whine. "Your optics are barely online and trust me this thing doesn't make a good recharge slab."

"I agree," I added, walking over to stand at the side of the couch.

"Fine." She huffed; Bee rubbed her helm.

"Have a good recharge, we can play more tomorrow." Bee hummed; she nodded her helm.

She turned to me and I saw how dim her optics were, seems she was more tired than I thought. I scooped her up and leaned her against my chestplates, nodding to Bee he grinned before turning back to his game. Heading back to my room I felt Star bury her faceplate into my armour. Reaching the room, I sat on my berth and rubbed her helm coaxing her to pull back.

"Is something bothering you, you don't seem yourself?" I quizzed, she nodded. "Think you can tell me?"

"Bee and Bulk didn't understand, they don't see how bad Cybertron is…" she muttered.

"They are both rather young, only a few thousand years into the adult frames. They do not have the life experiences to see what you've been able to surmise. I agree with you that Cybertron is not perfect, far from it but it isn't all bad either. It's a complicated matter." I explained, she nodded leaning into my plating.

"They're just repeating what they've been told…"

"Yes…"

"I wanna know what really happened."

"Not many are left from before the war."

"I guess…"

"You're only a youngling, it isn't your job to fix the world. Leave that to us grown-ups."

"You'll try and fix it?"

"Yes."

"Promise?"

"I promise, I will try to fix things."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome, now it's time for you to recharge. Do you want me to stay with you?"

"Please…"

"Of course."