TFA: Youngling
Ch.18~ Sweet and Sorrow
Warm. Onling my optics I looked up to see I was cuddled between Carrier and Sire. I could feel their arms around me holding me snuggly between their warm frames. It must be early if they're both still asleep. Carrier and Sire's helms were pressed close, and Carrier's mouth was slightly open as he slept. Leaning up I pressed a kiss to their cheekplates.
"Mhmm," Carrier murmured and I saw him begin to online. "Mornin' sweetspark."
"Morning," I replied, he leaned down and kissed my forehelm.
"Yer up early, had a good sleep?" he asked, I nodded. "That's good, ready for a full day with yer grand-creators?"
"You're both up already," Sire mumbled tiredly.
"Mornin' handsome." Carrier greeted and kissed Sire on the lipplates.
I didn't know we did that too.
"Good morning love, morning Star." Sire replied and leaned down to kiss my helm. "Something wrong?"
"I didn't know bots kissed like humans," I stated.
"You mean like this?" Sire asked and kissed Carrier on the lips, I nodded. "That kind of kiss is for big bots who love each other, like me and your Carrier do."
"And these are for our creation we love," Carrier added and began to pepper my faceplate in kisses making me giggle. "Yer turn Prowler."
"So, it is." He hummed and peppered my faceplate in kisses just like Carrier making me giggle more.
"Such cute little giggles, yer too precious sweetspark." Carrier cooed.
"She is, isn't she?" Sire added.
"I think it's time ta get up, bet yer grand-carrier is making up something yummy for us to eat," Carrier said. "Ya loved her spiced energon, bet you'll love her en-cakes."
"En-cakes?" I repeated, Carrier nodded.
"Best ta see than explain." He said sitting up he scooped me up. "Let's go."
I nodded eagerly as Carrier cradled me in his arms and carried me out of the room. We soon reached the room we had eaten in last night, and I saw grand-carrier working at the counter. Beside him was a plate of what looked like pancakes. You can make energon into something like that too!
"Mornin' Carri." Carrier greeted.
"Morning you three, oh look at that face. Excited for some en-cakes sweetspark?" grand-carrier said, I nodded eagerly. "You three sit down and I'll serve you up some."
"Thanks, Carri." Carrier thanked and we moved to sit down at the table. "How about ya sit in my lap this time, I'll show ya how ta eat en-cakes."
I nodded and soon a plate of en-cakes was placed before us followed by what looked like a fork. I leaned over to look at them curiously, they looked like really fluffy pancakes except they were blue. Carrier picked up the fork and used the side to cut off a small piece. Piercing the piece with the fork he placed it in front of me.
"Say ah." Carrier cooed.
I carefully opened my mouth and grabbed the piece, pulling back I began to chew. It was much lighter than the rust stick I had yesterday but it was just as sweet. Swallowing the piece, I saw Carrier bringing another piece toward me. I quickly bite into it but I cringed as my denta hit the fork.
"Careful sweetspark." Carrier hushed. "Guess that means ya like it?"
I nodded as I chewed on my second piece. I've never had anything like this. I didn't even know you could make energon into something like this. How many other things could be made with energon? I carefully took the next piece offered to me. So yummy!
"Is this her first time eating solid fuel?" grand-carrier asked.
"Second, the medic's assistant gave her a rust stick after her exam yesterday." Sire stated.
"What has she been fueling on?" grand-carrier questioned.
"Military rations." Sire stated, I heard something being muttered.
"Not just that," I said, I pointed to Carrier's chestplates. "I used to fuel from here on Ja."
"From where?" Carrier asked, I pointed to his chestplates again. "Not sure what ya mean, nothing ta fuel on there."
"I remember back with Ja, behind his chestplates there was something that gave me fuel when I was a sparkling." I explained, he looked confused. "What do sparkling fuel on here then?"
"We make special fuel for 'em like her grand-carrier made the spiced energon last night." Carrier answered. "So, yer Ja fed ya from his frame?"
"Uhuh, it was warm and yummy," I replied, Carrier rubbed my helm.
"Want some warm energon to go with your en-cakes?" he asked, I nodded.
"I'll warm her up some, want to give me her additives?" grand-carrier said, Carrier reached into his subspace and offered her a vial. "One warm energon coming right up sweetspark."
"Thank you." I thanked, I turned back to the en-cakes. "Can I have more?"
"Of course." Carrier cooed.
Ja's fuel had been good but the fuel I have here is even better.
(Jazz's POV)
Stargazer devoured two whole en-cakes and her warm energon eagerly before she cuddled into me falling into a light recharge. Military ration, key word, rations. How long has it been since her tank has been full? She was out like a light, just like a sparkling would be. It was as sad as it was cute.
"Poor thing isn't used to having a full tank, is she?" Carrier asked.
"Considering she tried to go without fueling when I first met her, yes, I'd say she hasn't had a full tank in a long time." Prowl stated. "Probably not since her birth Carrier died."
"No wonder she's ill." Carrier stated. "When did her birth creators die?"
"From what she's told us, her Sire died the day she onlined, and her Carrier followed three decacycles later. She was in stasis after that until a little over a stellarcycle ago." Prowl explained, I heard Carrier gasp.
"You should stay here." Carrier insisted, I bite my lipplate.
"Carri we'd love ta but she ain't ready fer that. Even gettin' her here was hard. She didn't talk fer most of the trip here, she kept havin' nightmares. She knows Earth, ta her that's home." I explained cuddling Star closer.
"She seems to be adjusting," Carrier argued. "At least try it, if she gets worse then okay, Earth may be the best place for her. But at least try here first."
"We'll try but if she gets like that, we gotta go back. I can't put her through that again." I replied, I felt Carrier wrap her servos around my helm pulling it to her chestplates.
"That's all I ask sweetspark." She soothed.
Maybe she is adjusting to life here…
(Stargazer's POV)
I clung onto Jetfire's shoulderplates as we raced around the main room running from Jetstorm. These past few days had been fun, I got to eat so much yummy fuel and learn so much. Grand-carrier taught me how to tend to crystal and grand-sire showed me how to play a board game kinda like Earth chess. I turned back to see Jetstorm was catching up to us.
"I be getting you!" he cheered as he tackled Jetfire by the waist.
"But can you be holding on brother?" Jetfire retorted and began to drag Jetstorm as he continued to run.
"Be careful you three!" Carrier called.
"We being the most careful," Jetfire said when suddenly he tripped.
I flew off his shoulderplates but suddenly a swirl of wind caught me landing me softly to the ground. What was that? I turned to see Jetstorm looking at me in relief as he was draped over his face-plated twin. Had he done that?
"I told ya ta be careful, ya okay there Jetfire?" Carrier asked kneeling before the twins.
"Pride hurt more than the frame." He muttered pushing himself up. "Sister being okay?"
"She being fine, I caught her with my wind," Jetstorm stated and flicked his twins' helm. "You being even bigger idiot than normal."
"Am not!" Jetfire whined.
"No fighting ya two." Carrier said and rubbed their helms. "Try and be more careful, especially when playing with yer sister. She's much smaller than you two."
"We will Carrier." They replied in sync, Carrier walked over and scooped me up.
"Good. Now about we all play something different, maybe something with less tackling." Carrier encouraged.
"Okay." They chimed in unison again.
(Later)
"Want to make some sweets with me you three?" Grand Carrier asked, we all turned from our game.
"Yes!" brothers chimed in sync.
"Me too!" I added, she smiled at us.
"Turn off your game and come join me in in the kitchen." She said.
Jetstorm turned off the game as Jetfire scooped me up. Then we all raced off into the kitchen, grand carrier had a big smile. On the table were three big metal bowls and containers of what looked like powders. Was that energon in a powder? Or was it like the additives I was given?
"What's got your optics my little one?" Grand Carrier asked, I pointed to the powders.
"What are those?" I asked, she took me from Jetfire and carried me over to the powders.
"These are additives, these are the three we'll be using for making sweets, to the left is Tungsten, then there's iron and finally some silver." She explained, so these were powdered metals, reaching out a poked one of the containers. "So curious."
"Never seen this before." I said, "Didn't know these metals could make into a powder."
"The process is a bit out of my league but you can buy most metals like this for cooking. I used powdered metals like these to make all the things you've had so far." She elaborated. "Ready to start making some sweets?"
"Yeah!" I cheered; this is going to be so much fun.
(Later)
I watched in awe as the drops cooked in the heater, there was a small window that let me watch the process. The process had been surprisingly similar to what I had seen in human baking. I heard a giggle and I turned to see Grand Carrier looking at me with an amused look. She knelt down beside me and rubbed my helm.
Suddenly a feeling hit me, and I felt my lipplate tremble. If the war hadn't happened, is this was Rache would have been like? Would we have done things like this? Tears filled my optics and I pushed up my visor as I began to sob.
"What's wrong?" Grand Carrier hushed pulling me close to her frame. "Oh sweetspark don't cry, everything's alright."
"What being wrong with sister?" one of my brothers quizzed worried.
"Not sure." Grand Carrier replied, I felt him rub my backstruts soothingly. "Can you tell me what's got, you so upset sweetspark?"
"Ja! Prower!" I cried, I want Carrier and Sire.
"Do you two mind fetching your creators, I think she wants them." Grand Carrier said, I heard loud pedefalls leave the room. "It'll be okay, they'll be here soon."
"Rache!" I cried.
"Carri what happened?" Carrier asked, I broke away from Grand Carrier and raced to hug his pede. "Oh sweetspark what's wrong, come here."
He scooped me up and I buried my faceplate into his chestplates, he hummed softly gently bouncing me. I felt a servo rub my backstruts as I felt Sire's field behind me. I reached out to grab onto his plating as I pressed my messy faceplate into Carrier's plating.
If the war hadn't happened this is what could have been. I could have had my Ja and Prower and visit my Uncle Rache and do things like this. But I'm never going to have that. Ja and Prower are gone and now I'm somewhere Uncle Rache can't reach.
"It's alright, we've got you." Sire hushed.
Why do I lose everyone?!
(Prowl's POV)
Stargazer cried herself into recharge, it had been spark-breaking to watch her. We tried to coax her but nothing seemed to be able to calm her enough to tell us what was wrong. Jazz adjusted her against his chassis a hurt expression on his faceplate.
"Carri what happened?" he asked.
"She was watching the drops we made cook, I knelt down and rubbed her helm and suddenly she was crying." Rhythm explained, "Then she called what I assume was your names, so I had the twins go get you."
"She must have had a flashback of some kind," I stated, Jazz's hold on Stargazer tightened.
"Maybe this is too much fer her…" Jazz muttered; I gently wrapped my servo around him pulling him to lean into me.
"It'll be okay, she has these on Earth as well, I think she will wherever she is. She's been through a lot. She's still processing all of it." I soothed; he buried his faceplate into my neckcables.
"How about you three go to your room, she might find it easier to talk if it's just you." Rhythm suggested, I nodded.
"I think we will." I said, "Need me to carry you, love?"
"I can walk." He said pulling back. "Yer gonna put out yer backstruts carryin' me around."
I smirked and scooped him up and began to carry him toward our room. He huffed but didn't say anything as he leaned into my plating. Entering our room, I gently set him down on the berth. Sliding in beside him I pulled his frame into mine, he cuddled into me as he cradled Stargazer.
Hopefully, she'll be calmer once she wakes.
(Later)
Star slowly online, Jazz hushed her gently rubbing her helm as her optics then visor flicker on. Raising her helm, she looked up at Jazz and then turned her gaze to me. Reaching down I brushed her cheekplate soothingly. She cuddled back into Jazz's plating, she was still clearly upset but had settled down considerably.
"What's got ya so upset sweetspark?" Jazz coaxed.
"It's not fair." She began, her small servos gripping Jazz's plating. "This is how it should have been. This is what I didn't get to have with them. Why, why did I have to be born during the war? Why couldn't they have waited until it was all over?"
"Oh sweetspark, I'm sure they woulda loved ta have ya after tha war, but sometimes a newspark just happens. Yer right it's unfair, but ya can't change what happened. Yer here now, and ya got me, yer Sire, brothers and grand creators, and we all love ya so much." Jazz hushed.
"Why did they make me if they were just gonna go away…" she muttered, my spark ached at her words.
"Oh sweetspark, they never planned ta leave ya. Why would they ever want ta leave behind such a sweet little feme like ya." Jazz hushed kissing her helm soothingly as he pulled her closer.
"They loved you, you're made from their love after all." I added, wrapping my arms around them both. "I don't know when or how you came to be, but I know you meant the world to them."
"Why? Triage said I should have died after they did. Why did I survive?" she asked, Jazz began to cry as he pulled her closer.
"Cuz it wasn't yer time; I know they didn't want ya ta join 'em." Jazz said, he pulled her back to cup her cheekplates looking at her with a fond expression, tears falling down his cheekplate silently. "I'm so glad ya survived. I'm so glad ya came here. I'm so glad yer Sire took ya in. I'm so glad I got ta meet ya and become yer Carrier."
"We love you," I added and leaned down to kiss her helm. "Thank you for surviving."
Her lipplate trembled before she broke into spark-breaking wails, Jazz leaned her forehelm to her humming softly to her. Occasionally he would press kisses on her tear-filled cheekplates. She sobbed her whole frame limp. I reached down to rub her backstruts as I pulled them both closer to my frame.
Please let us be able to heal her broken spark.
