Chapter 18-

I sighed sitting across from my boyfriends ex wife taking a deep breath I waited for her to start "I always wondered how it would feel to meet you." she spoke, I looked at her confused "I don't understand."

she shook her head "you probably wouldn't, Randy had this picture of you and him-" she swallowed turning her head for a moment, the picture from last night "he always kept it with him, would tried to hide it, but no matter how many places he'd hide it, I'd always find it."

I looked down she needed to say this and I would allow her to say what she needed to "When I first met him, he was in a bar a complete fucking wreck-" she shook her head "Any normal women would've walked away from him then, but I don't know I just felt this pull to him." I nodded knowing that pull its what I had to him since I've known him, its what I felt the day I seen him in the hall, its what scared me so much with him.

"One night I had to go pick him up he was drunk and rambling about you, how you just left him."she blew out a breath "i knew at that point I shouldn't be messing with a man that's obviously still hung up on some girl but I thought I could fix him, us women and our uncontrollable need to fix things, so imagine all of that, we get married, have a baby, and yes I filed divorcee because it wasn't working, I needed him home more then two days a month, but imagine my surprise when he tells me your back, and you two are working it out and he wants to introduce you to our daughter." I sighed getting it.

"Samantha look your the one he married, had a child with, not me, ill never have any of that with him, he already experienced it all with you." she shook her head "And the entire time we where expeerincing all of this together he wished it was with you, I was just a second place prize." I frowned shaking my head, I truly hoped randy didn't make her feel that way "I doubt that, let me ask you when you found out you where pregnant how did he react?" she finally smiled "He was ecstatic, couldn't of been happier." I blew out a breath ignoring the jab of pain I felt at her words.

"I was pregnant, I was so excited, Randy well he had a totally different response to it, see after I caught him with another women, actually with a women who worked for the company at the time, he handed for six hundred dollars and told me to let him know when it was taken care of." I hated telling her that detail of mine and Randy relationship but I know at this point it'd help her understand a lot more then she did.

"So see he wasn't sitting pinning for me, it had nothing to do with a first or second choice, it was his guilt eating him up, I didn't see him after that day until I came back a couple months ago, but he was happy to have a child with you, to marry you."

She frowned looking at me sadly "how can you forgive him after that?" she asked shocked, I bit my lip shrugging glancing at him, he sat on his phone he glanced up our eyes connecting in that moment, I blew out a breath looking back at her "that pull you spoke about earlier?" I asked her, she nodded "I feel it too with him, and I always have, there some things I went through that made trusting men impossible for me, until Randy, Randy's always made me feel so safe, so protected, like I know with him no one would ever hurt me, it feels right being with him." she nodded shaking her head.

"God Emily I am so sorry, I misjudged you and I came over here acting like a loon, seriously I just had all these thoughts and emotions, and him and I sleeping together didn't help my heart with what my mind already knew." she shook her head "I acted terrible and made a complete fool of myself." I swallowed hard trying to cover up the emotions cursing through me at this moment.

"Emotions run high and it makes us act in ways we normally wouldn't." I forced a smile, Samantha gasped "Oh my god you didn't know did you? Shit, don't worry once you came back in the picture he ended it with me, which probably is where all this came from." she rambled.

I nodded "Yea." I cleared my throat "Oh god I came here to clear the air and I just made things worse, im so sorry Emily, I swear the way he looks at you, and yesterday I never seen him text as much as he kept texting you, he was miserable without you, when you came up to us his entire face lit up, the only time I see it like that is around Alana, he loves you truly loves you."

I nodded "I know and I love him, and I have really enjoyed the time I've gotten to spend with Alana, shes such a sweet little girl and I'd never do anything to bring any hurt to her." I felt the need to tell her, she nodded standing up "I know, I trust Randy's judgment." wow! This was a one eighty turn around from the last couple of days, but hey I'd take it!

I plastered a fake smile on my face for Sam's sake as we walked over to Randy, he put his arm around my waist smiling "Everything OK?" he asked her as we walked towards the door, Samantha stopped in front of the door smiling at Randy, I could still see the love in her eyes when she smiled at him "Yes Randy everything's good, take care of this one, shes a good women." she repeated similar words of his fathers.

Randy let out a laugh "Never thought my ex wife would be saying that, but trust me Sam I plan on it." I pulled on me tighter "OK well I'll be back around five to get Alana, you guys have a good day-" she turned to me smiling "bye Emily." I nodded clearing my throat "Bye Samantha."

Randy looked down at me once she left "you OK?" he asked unsure, I nodded biting my bottom lip "yea uh you guys ready?" I asked walking into the living room where Alana was watching sponge bob "ready?" I asked her, she nodded taking my hand as I turned back to Randy who was looking at me unsure "you sure?" he questioned, I nodded "yea, just want to change into clean clothes." I mumbled walking past him with Alana.

The ride to the hotel was silent besides the music playing, Randy's hand resting on top of my knee his eyes on the road "you know if there's something wrong, you can tell me right?" he questioned, I nodded "I know, I'm fine Randy." I sighed not wanting to have this conversation during his time with his daughter and I knew him well enough to know if I said that and let him know something was wrong, we'd end up having it and his time with his daughter wouldn't be spent how it needs to be, with her, on her and only her.

We pulled into the parking lot "daddy why are we at a hotel?" Alana asked

"Uh Emily needs to get her stuff." Randy explained to his daughter as we started to get out of the car "why did Emily stay here and not at the house with you?" she asked, I raised my eyebrow to Randy, how would he explain this?

He looked at a lost for words "I got in before your daddy did so I stayed here and then came to your house with you guys last night." I explained making Alana nod "Daddy you should give her a key so she doesn't have to stay in a hotel if your not around."

I started coughing as I choked on my water, Randy smacked my back "you OK?" he asked, I nodded opening my hotel room door "Im good." I cleared my throat "went down the wrong way, uh just give me a minute." I grabbed my duffle bag walking into the bathroom "make yourselves comfortable." you did pay for the room, I thought to myself.

I sighed rubbing my face, as I shut the bathroom door, I pulled out my bag of meds, I could already feel the effects of missing two dose's, I wondered if I should call Marci, I shook my head, it was accidental not on purpose I quickly took my pills and got dressed in a pair of blue jean shorts and a plain black t-shirt, I honestly wasn't in the mood to try for anything else.

I brushed my hair frowning at myself in the mirror, I hated what I saw, after looking at Samantha, how could Randy be with me? I frowned running my fingertips over my scar, the numbing tingle's running through my arm.

I grabbed my make up bag deciding to put on a little of make up, maybe it'd make me feel better. I finished my make up with a light gray eyeliner and light browns eye shadow, mascara and vanilla chap stick, very basic compared to Samantha's.

I finished my hair in a messy fishy t/oi\\\\\\\\

ail side braid shrugging this was as good as it would get, shoving everything back in my duffel bag I walked out to see Randy and his daughter laying on the couch, sponge bob on and both passed out, I covered my mouth to quiet my giggle at the scene before me.

Pulled out my phone I snapped a picture, checking the time I shrugged, I'd let them nap a little bit, I knew we didn't get back until late im sure Samantha doesn't let Alana stay up late very often and they where both up pretty early.

I grabbed a book I had been attempting to read yesterday, I grabbed a bottle of water and walked out to the patio I sat down in the lounge chair and opened my book deciding on getting lost in a world of kings and lords was way better then trying to focus on my boyfriend sleeping with his ex wife until we got back together.

I didn't realize how long I was reading until my phone rang interrupting me from my fantasy world of romance and fictional characters, I glanced down sighing, I knew again I really should answer, it was Lilly I just didn't feel like talking right now.

"Hey, what are you doing out here?" I heard from above me, I turned around offering a small smile holding up my book "you two looked so comfortable I didn't want to wake you." I told him, he nodded running a hand over his sleepy face, I bit my lip watching him as he walked over sitting on the side of my lounge chair

"So you and Sam, everything OK?" he asked me, I sighed nodding "I think her and I have an understanding." I looked down, Randy nodded "Why do I feel like your far away?" he asked taking my hand and playing with my fingertips.

I sighed "I just its been a lot the last couple of days is all." I shrugged, Randy frowned staring at me like he knew there was more, "well you about ready?" he asked "All packed and ready." I stood up as he held my hand following me inside.

I smiled at Alana "sleep good?" I asked her, she just nodded her head not fully awake, Randy grabbed my luggage as we all head towards the door.

The ride back to Randy's was quiet, as if Randy knew there was more to it then I was telling him and I wasn't ready to discuss this while we where with his daughter.

"are you hungry?" I asked Alana who nodded as Randy put my stuff up in his room, I nodded "Hey Randy did you have plans for lunch?" I asked as he came down the stairs, he shrugged "I was thinking of ordering pizza and maybe we can watch tangled?" he suggested as Alana clapped happily making me laugh.

"I take it she likes Tangled?" I asked as he walked to me nodding "yea shes a Disney fanatic, like someone else I know." I smirked nodding "That somebody sounds pretty awesome." he nodded "shes OK, kinda a pain in my ass sometimes." I rolled my eyes as my stomach rumbled "mm I better get that pizza ordered." I laughed rolling my eyes before walking into the living room with Alana who had grabbed blankets and pillows to lounge on the couch with "my kind of girl."

and that's how we spent the rest of our afternoon lounged on the couch watching Disney movies and eating pizza.

DING DONG I sat up not realizing I had fallen asleep against randys chest watching fox and the hound, I peeked up seeing he was staring at me his fingers running though my hair as this was the most physical interaction I've allowed all day between us, well since mine and Samantha's talk.

I watched as he went to open the door "hey!" I heard Samantha's voice as Alana shot up "mommy!" she giggled happily, I sighed slowly standing up and meeting them in the foyer to see Alana hugging Samantha tightly "Oh mommy missed you sweetheart, did you have fun with dad and Emily?" she asked

"yea we took a nap in a hotel, and then we came back here and dad ordered pizza and we watched Disney movies and Emily fell asleep but dad said it was OK because she had a long couple of days." I glanced at Randy who was smiling "let me go get her stuff Sam." he spoke with ease and comfort, Sam nodded "Well sounds like you had quiet the day with dad." Samantha looked up at me "Im glad you guys had a good day." I nodded "we did, she's such a sweetheart." I told her smiling at the little girl, she truly was and she definitely brought out Randy's softer side.

We followed Samantha out to her car as Randy handed her Alana's back pack and took Alana from her "Daddy's going to miss you princess." he spoke kissing the top of her head and hugging her tightly, he closed his eyes as Alana laid her head on his shoulder "Im gonna miss you daddy." she whispered, I frowned at the scene in front of me, both was obvious upset about parting, Randy cleared his throat "I love you, be good for your mom." she nodded looking to me "It was nice to meet you Emily." she leaned over wrapping her arms around me tightly, I lifted her from her farther embrace holding her in one of my own "it was nice to meet you too sweetheart." I told her as Randy took her from me putting her in Samantha's car.

Randy sighed looking at Sam "Im not sure when's the next time I'll be here." she nodded "I know the drill, just uh text me." he nodded watching as they drove off, I frowned looking at him "you OK?" I asked him softly as his bus pulled in. he nodded walking into his house "so are you going to talk to me?" he asked as I followed him to his room, he started packing, I was still packed so I wouldn't need to pack, I sighed "i didn't want to take your time away from Alana." I explained, he nodded "and thank you for that." he spoke with a general appreciation, I nodded picking at his blanket as I sat on my knee's trying to find the words "Jesus what did she say to you?" Randy asked now standing in front of me, I blew out a breath "you two where still sleeping together when I came back around?" I looked up at him trying to catch a glimpse of anything, he blew out a breath nodding "it only happened a couple of times, when she'd bring Alana. by we'd all have dinner together, she'd stay and then I don't know it just happened. Habit."

I blew out a breath gripping my fingers tightly against each other "don't you think though the last couple of days would've been good timing to mention it to me? Hey she's acting this way because I was sleeping with her before you and i-"I stopped narrowing my eyes at him, he shook his head "God no Emily I swear it was two time's, it was fucking dumb, I told her that it shouldn't of happened, it was over before you and I started this." he cupped my face, I blew out a breath nodding "Fuck please believe me Emily it was a couple of times, before you and I, it was comfort and habit." he spoke his eyes searching mine.

I cleared my throat nodding "I do Randy, I just uh, I need a minute." I grabbed my bags "Im going to go put these on the bus, meet you there." he watched me as I walked over to him, placing my hand on his chest I made him look down at me "I love you, its just been a roller coaster of a few day's, I need a moment to wrap my mind around everything OK?" I leaned up on my tippy toes kissing him lightly on his lips "I'll see you on the bus." I assured him as I walked out of his room.

I blew out a breath, I couldn't help but wonder did he still have that attachment to her? Would they have pulled it back together and been a family if not for me?

"Good evening Miss. Mcmahon, how was your days off?" Frank Randy's driver asked as he took my luggage from me, I wanted to tell him it was honestly horrible, but I knew he was asking out of politeness then actually interest, so I smiled "It was refreshing, how was yours?" I asked in equal politeness and really uninterested, he nodded "Same." I nodded before getting on the bus, I sighed sitting on the bench seat waiting for Randy to come out.

I couldn't help but wonder what where we doing here? Was this real between us? Or just habit? Like it was with Samantha.

"Penny for your thoughts?" I heard above me seeing Randy standing over me, I blew out a breath shrugging, I heard him sigh "Jesus this trip was supposed to be fucking amazing and its been nothing but a pain in my ass, come on." he reached out for my hand leading me back into the bedroom, I sighed laying down on the bed Randy next to me resting his hand on my hip "Talk to me, I cant fix it if you don't tell me whats going on." I nodded swallowing "Is this just habit for you? us." I asked as he looked confused, he shook his head "No its not."

"I just worry now that you and Samantha would've pulled it together and made it work if I hadn't came back around." I mumbled.

"Baby that is far from the case, Samantha and I would've never pulled it back together, we both know we're better of friends and co-parents to our daughter then as husband and wife, she never trusted me and I was gone more then I was home, she needs a man that's there, the everyday Monday through Friday eight to five type of life."

I sighed "Im sorry this trip turned into such a pain." I looked up at him, he shrugged "We have plenty more, actually, I do want to talk to you about something." I nodded "Have you thought about where you want to go after wrestlemania?" he asked, I bit my bottom lip shaking my head no "Not really." he nodded "Well I was thinking, why don't you move to St. Louis? That way when im off we can still get to see each other, you where looking at the hospitals there before." I felt my heart start beating harder in my chest, was he asking me to move to the same city as him? Or to move in with him?

I knew someday I would love to live with him, but one thing I knew was I wasn't ready for that just yet, I have never had my very own place before and I wanted that experience before sharing a place with him.

I knew that if I lived in a different city him and I wouldn't see each other very often between his busy schedule, how busy my schuelde would get and him seeing his daughter on his few and far days off at home "Yea I can defiantly check into it." I smiled up at him watching the grin spreading across his face as he bent down kissing me happily.

"Mm babe im so tired I don't wanna walk." I mumbled as we got to the arena and was fixing to head inside, Randy chuckled looking over at me, he bent down in front of me "Hop on." I grinned climbing on his back as he stood up grabbing his gear bag "you OK?" I asked hearing him chuckle.

"Sweetheart Alana ways more then you." he joked as I swatted his shoulder, wrapping my legs around his waist he begin to walk out of the bus and towards the arena, I laid my head on his shoulder taking in his scent, I loved the way he smelt, it was a unique smell of him, I could never pin it and have never smelt it anywhere else, it was like tobacco, mint, and ocean almost, it was relaxing to me, I placed a gentle kiss on his neck smiling at him "I love you." I watched him smirk "I love you." last night had been so relaxing and exactly what we needed, we just laid in bed watching movies until falling asleep my head on his chest and that's where I woke up this morning.

We spent the morning sipping coffee in bed while he watched TV and I caught up on studying and looking at the St. Louis children's hospital where I filled out my application for internship at. I was excited to start this new chapter of my life, it felt amazingly normal and I couldn't wait for it.

"EMILY!" I heard a familiar voice,i frowned lifting my head off of Randy's shoulder as he stopped walking, he frowned looking at me, I unwrapped my legs from his waist as he slowly set me down "what the hell is she doing here?" I questioned to myself out loud, looking at confused as I felt.