After her meeting with Charles, Liza gathered up her belongings and went downstairs to wait for the car to pick her up. It arrived within minutes and the inside was nice and cool when she climbed inside. This was a perk she enjoyed, although she did not avail herself of the privilege very much, preferring to take the train back to Brooklyn. Tonight, it was especially good because it gave her time to collect her thoughts and think about what happened earlier with Charles. The "moment" in her office between them obviously affected him as well judging by the way he jumped back when their eyes met. So, maybe things were not as bad as she imagined or as his words told her they were now. The hope she felt after seeing him at the townhouse remained within her. She would continue to nurture that hope for now.

Liza got home to Brooklyn, walked through the door and threw her keys and purse on the entry table making her way over to the sofa.

"Hey roomie," Maggie called from the kitchen. "Would you like some leftover eggplant rollatini? I have salad too, but there's not much of that left."

"No thanks, I had dinner already…with Charles," Liza reminded her, looking at Maggie with knowing eyes.

"Oh my god, was that tonight? I totally forgot."

"Yep." Liza collapsed on the couch putting her feet up and laying her head back.

The loft had a nice leftover smell from the cooking Maggie had done. It was late and the soft glow from the lamps scattered around the room lent an air of coziness and tranquility that Liza was grateful for right now. She could look over at the studio area and even though it was dark, she could see the art Maggie had been working on today and it was a comfort.

"How'd it go? How does he look?" Maggie asked conspiratorially, coming around to sit next to her, carrying two glasses of wine and handing one to Liza which was gratefully accepted.

"He looks great. Relaxed and refreshed. Very handsome, as always. As for the talk, it went well for the most part. We talked about the book and mostly stuck to business," she said, lifting her head as she took her first sip of wine, looking at Maggie.

"And? What else happened?"

"Nothing else happened. The book is great. He dropped it off late last week. We went over a lot of stuff tonight. I am so proud of him."

"How was it between you? Was it awkward? Did you tell him how you feel? Did you talk about your concerns?"

"Well, there was one awkward moment early on, but we got through it and kept going. We didn't let it get in the way. Maggie, I can't tell him how I feel. I know how he feels, plus he gave this big, long speech about being part of each other's lives as friends – special friends, who help each other grow to be the humans we're meant to be."

"Oh dear. That sounds all lovely and noble, but can you do that? Do you even want to? Why don't you tell him to find another editor?"

"Maggie, I can't. I promised and I want to see this through. I want to do this for him. I can't believe I screwed this up…again. Or maybe he did, or we both did, I don't know anymore. It's a complicated mess. I just want to be part of his life and his girls lives and for him to be part of mine and hopefully Caitlin's," Liza shrugged her shoulders in hopefulness looking over at Maggie at the same time.

"Liza, you've been through hell with this man, why are you still doing this to yourself?"

"Because I love him and want him to succeed. Maybe I owe him."

"Liza, you're torturing yourself and editing this book is a form of masochism. If you're going to be that way, at least get some pleasure out of it, but you're not even enjoying it!"

"It's complicated with him. You know that."

"Figuring out the New York Times Sunday crossword is complicated. What you're doing is tormenting yourself. Personally, I don't think you owe him anything —."

"Okay, maybe 'owe' is not the right word. Maybe I want to make up for past mistakes and I can do that by showing love this way," still being hopeful.

Liza and Maggie looked at each other. Liza optimistic and Maggie shaking her head in mild exasperation.

"Liza, he's left you three times! Once when he discovered your age. Then after the marriage proposal, then when you sent his stuff to that yabba-dabba-do place."

"Yaddo"

"Ok, Yaddo, whatever."

"Maybe he was justified all three times." Liza asked questioning.

"No, he wasn't! He never lets you explain. I like Chas, but you forget, I'm 'team Liza'. I want whatever makes you happy. You seemed happier with him than you did with Josh, but I told Charles that he'd better not hurt you. Besides, he doesn't trust you in one scene but in the next leaves you in charge of his family business? What kind of logic is that?"

"I don't know…bad writing logic?"

"Yeah, some writer wasn't writing with enough lead in their pencil when they came up with that idea," Maggie said, shaking her head, taking a sip of wine.

"He told me something else tonight."

"What's that?"

"He and Pauline are officially divorced. He's now free to fall into the arms of the next Quinn and marry her," Liza said unhappily, gesturing at the world.

"You knew that was coming, the divorce bit. Do you really think he would do that?"

"As impulsive as he is sometimes, anything is possible. Ugh," Liza said, leaning her head on the back of the couch looking up at the ceiling, holding her wine glass on her leg.

"Liza, I know you love him."

Liza looked at her, "Oh, Maggie, so much it hurts sometimes."

"You love him, so fight for him. You fought for him and your relationship twice. Remember, you kept trying to get him to talk to you after he found out your age."

"Yes, because he kept ignoring me when I wanted to explain but couldn't get time alone with him, so I jumped at the chance to take Diana's place on Shelter Island to see Chrissie Hart. He wouldn't talk without me planting myself right in front of him in a remote location and even that didn't work. He still ran away, and instead I got to make out with Chrissie and get my boobs signed. Definitely not my greatest moment."

"Then after the marriage proposal, you cornered him at that children's literacy day," Maggie reminded her.

"Yes. I tried asking him to dinner, but that night he was going to dinner with Bob and Julia Katz. So, I cornered Julia at the literacy event to get her to tell me what he said at dinner. He told her we wanted different things, but that's not true. We both want to be in a committed relationship, but that was before Quinn wrecked everything with her scorned woman manifesto."

"That's a lot of fighting for someone you love. What are you going to do? Are you going to fight for him again? I mean, you worked alongside him in the past when you were split up. Maybe you can do it again?"

"I don't know Maggie. The first time he was so angry. The second time he was hurt. I don't know what he is this time. Maybe a little of both? The whole loving agreeableness of his manner is confusing. I don't know what to make of it, but I am still going to edit the book and this time try and stay out of his personal life," she said.

"When you're not fighting for him, you do tend to meddle in his life," Maggie reminded her.

"Yeah, I know. I do."

"That's just another form of fighting for him, dear. Being suspicious of Quinn's motives, meeting with him outside that woman's apartment he had the affair with, and sending his book to Yabba-dabba, ok, Yaddo, are all forms of fighting for a connection with him. You need to tell him how you feel or at least tell him how hard this is for you."

— "I can't…" Liza began.

Shaking her head, "Liza, I'm telling you, you need to spill your guts, get it all out of your system and see where the chips fall. Pardon the gambling expression. You know, for people in the production of words, you two don't seem to communicate all that well."

"You're right. I may need to find a way to deal with it when he comes in saying he's getting married after meeting some woman walking down the street and I must force myself to be happy. I mean, I will be happy if that's what makes him happy, but it will kill me to see him move on with someone else. I want his happiness but.."

"You want that happiness to be with you."

"Well, yeah, is that so terrible?"

"No, it's not terrible, but girl, I'm going to give you the name of my shrink. You are going to need professional help this time. Hey, want some leftover tiramisù? I used the good rum this time and soaked those lady fingers for just the right amount of time. It's to die for. Let's drown your sorrows in dessert. Not that we need a reason, but it sounds good. I'll tell you about my crazy day and afterwards we'll watch the latest episode of Killing Eve."


In two weeks, Liza visits a therapist and a peek into Charles's trip to the UK.