Title: Snapshots: Anthology of a Life Well Lived
Author: Kimberly21570
Fandoms: Guiding Light / All My Children
Pairings: Olivia and Natalia / Lena and Bianca
Disclaimers and Other Assorted Ramblings: The characters of Olivia and Emma Spencer, and Natalia Rivera are owned by CBS/TeleNext and Proctor & Gamble. The characters of Lena Kundera, Bianca Montgomery, Kendall Hart Slater, Zach Slater, Maggie Stone, AJ and Babe Chandler and Sarah, Bianca's first girlfriend are owned by All My Children, ABC/Disney and Prospect Park. The Magic Treehouse Series and the related characters of Annie and Jack are the property of author Mary Pope Osborne, and Random House Publishers. The Little House on the Prairie Series, written by Laura Ingalls Wilder, is the property of HarperCollins Publishing. The Anne of Green Gables Series, written by L.M. Montgomery, is the property of Starfire Publishing. The original characters of Jordan and Alexandria "Lexie" Montgomery-Kundera, Amelia Slater, and Cassidy Ryan are the property of this author, and any resemblance to fictional characters, or real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
No copyright infringement intended with regard to Guiding Light, CBS/TeleNext, Proctor & Gamble, AMC, ABC/Disney, Random House, HarperCollins, Starfire, or any other person or entity. The dialogue, settings, and story content in these scenes are original. Written for fun, not profit. All other standard disclaimers apply.
Rating: Overall, Chapter 6 is rated R, though this particular update is rated PG-13, I suppose. It's always a struggle for me when it comes to ratings, because I know what I would and would not want my 13 year-old niece to read. I'm not so certain I'd want her to see parts of this, but it's definitely not worthy of an R rating. The story will eventually reach NC-17.
Synopsis: It's a stroll down memory lane for Olivia and Natalia, Lena and Bianca, and their friends and family, as two of our favorite couples' daughters prepare to enter into wedded bliss, in a double wedding… of sorts…
Author's Notes: Y'all have my friend AKAMimster from The Symposium to thank for this particular update. A majority of it was penned and/or pieced together from snapshots I've been toying with for the last five years or so, late at night on her sofa, while I was visiting for Fall Break. Thank you, as always, for a lovely visit, my friend. I hope you enjoy these brief glimpses into the dynamics of the Montgomery-Kundera family.
All errors are the sole responsibility of this author, as this update has not been edited.
Finally, pay particular attention to the transitions in time, as this chapter contains flashbacks within flashbacks. The conversation that took place between Emma and Jordan the summer they were 20 and 17, respectively, continues, and the story flashes back to other memories…
I hope you all enjoy.
Kimberly
Snapshots: Anthology of a Life Well Lived
Copyright September 2012
"You cannot explain, with the limitations of language and inexperience, why your body can cause such a sudden, fumbling response in someone else, nor can you put into exact words what you feel about your body, explain the thrum it feels in proximity to another warm-skinned form. What you feel is a tangle of contradictions: power, pleasure, fear, shame, exultation, some strange wish to make noise. You cannot say how those things knit themselves together somewhere in the lower abdomen and pulse."
— Marya Hornbacher, Wasted: A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia
Chapter 6.3—Awakenings:
The Cottage, Martha's Vineyard—Sunday, July 18, 2021, 1:45 a.m. Eastern Daylight Time
Emerging from the memory of that first kiss with AJ, Jordan recalled her response with an amalgam of wistfulness and amusement. It seemed rather silly in retrospect, to have been so conflicted inside. It wasn't as though she didn't know about the capacity of the human body for arousal. And she certainly knew enough about sex. Her mother was a therapist, after all. And both of her moms prided themselves on being open-minded, which meant that discussions about sex, while remaining age-appropriate, were always candid. They had prepared her well for the onset of puberty, and all that the rush of hormones would entail. But in that moment, when her body responded to AJ's kiss, to the nearness of him, she found herself a quivering mess of emotions and confusion. What did it all mean?
That unspoken question quickly became loaded as she glanced at Emma in the firelight. A quiet sigh slipped from her lips, unbidden, as she noted the way the soft glow from the flames licked at the chestnut tendrils that framed her friend's face. She couldn't take her eyes off of her. That wasn't exactly new, but it was definitely different. What did it all mean, indeed? The pensive expression in those teal-blue eyes wasn't lost on her, and she wondered if Emma's thoughts mirrored her own… or if she was contemplating something completely different. She didn't have to wait long for an answer.
"So what were you so confused about?" Emma asked.
A sharp, but transient pang of disappointment rippled through Jordan's awareness, and for a moment she felt the weight of it pressing against her chest. Taking a breath to steady herself, she considered the question for a moment before answering. "Everything, I guess," she said vaguely. "How I felt about AJ," she added. "I mean, other than the fact that I loved him as my best friend. I knew that I did. But I didn't know how I felt about him beyond that. And I didn't know whether or not I wanted to, or even should be, thinking about boys in that way."
"Why shouldn't you have been thinking about boys that way?" Emma asked, genuinely confused, and decidedly curious.
Jordan found herself laughing softly in response to Emma's question, as she remembered what had happened next. Oh, good heavens, it had been a scene!
"What's so funny?" Emma asked, her curiosity intensifying.
Deep inside, she had always known that if Jordan kissed someone, it meant something, and she respected that about her. But the fact that it had been with AJ—a boy—sent a strong amalgam of bewilderment and disappointment washing over her the moment she received Jordan's text all those months ago. It shouldn't have been a surprise to her. She had seen it coming for a while. But somehow, the news had taken her off-guard, and left her feeling… What was it that she felt? Disheartened, perhaps? Yes, that might come close to describing it. And now, as she listened to Jordan recounting of the experience, she found those feelings resurfacing. She was afraid to ask herself why. A few moments later, she no longer needed to ask, because Jordan had supplied an answer without even knowing the question.
"I was just thinking about the conversation with Mama, following that kiss," Jordan explained. "I sort of… came out… to my parents that day."
Emma studied the girl for a moment, and then leaned forward, shifting her focus to the white-hot embers that smoldered and flamed inside the fire ring at their feet. With the long stick that served as a poker, she nudged noncommittally at the chunks of wood that were slowly turning to ash near the bottom—a means of distraction, as she dared ask, "Came out?" Her tone was a mixture of perplexity and intrigue.
"Yeah," Jordan laughed. She couldn't believe how ridiculous she had been that evening. Oh, what a little perspective could do! "It's kind of a funny story, actually. Well, funny and… sentimental, I guess. And a little bit silly," she explicated.
"Tell me about it," Emma encouraged, as she settled back against the mound of sand they had amassed before building the fire. Glancing toward Jordan, she caught the prisms of light that danced in those expressive dark eyes. A sudden urge fell over her. She wanted to be close enough to dance along with them. Her face flushed at the notion behind that urge, and she found herself once again thankful for the heat of the flames to hide the response. What the hell was wrong with her?
Jordan smiled at her, and shook her head, clearly still amused.
Emma breathed a sigh of relief thinking that Jordan was completely oblivious to whatever was happening. She listened intently, as Jordan drifted back in time once again, this time to a few hours after her first kiss. "By the time I got home, I was totally freaking out about that kiss, and…"
"And why was that?" Emma asked lightly.
Jordan's eyes sparkled with laughter. "You'll see…"
The Montgomery-Kundera Household, Pine Valley, Pennsylvania—Wednesday, April 22, 2020, 6:30 p.m. Eastern Daylight Time
In a brief moment of relative calm amidst a typically chaotic afternoon in the Montgomery-Kundera household, Bianca leaned over the desk in the family room, pointing out a section of Tori's Language Arts worksheet that needed attention. She was helping both Lexie and Tori, their third daughter, with their homework, shifting her attention back and forth as necessary. Tori quickly noted the error and made the correction, and Bianca complimented her on her efforts before returning her focus toward Lexie's pre-algebra worksheet. Another year or two, Bianca thought, and she would be turning the math homework over to Lena, who was far better at numbers than Bianca ever would be. But for now, she patiently explained the most recently integrated concept, and helped Lexie move forward with the assignment.
In seventh and fifth grade, respectively, their assignments weren't all that difficult, though they were, at times, rather time-consuming. Their usual nightly routine, often charged with frustration for Bianca due to Lexie's penchant for drama and pre-teen angst, was tonight, charged with the buzz of anticipation. The shift in attitude thankfully led to a spirit of cooperativeness from the girls—one that was gratefully welcomed by their mother. They were all excited about Jordan's special day—after all, their big sister would only turn sixteen once! Plus, they all loved visiting the Chandler mansion—those secret tunnels were a source of constant intrigue.
At twelve, Lexie was just as headstrong and independent as she had been as a toddler, and often, she was the source of Bianca's greatest challenge as a mother. But she was also Bianca's greatest source of triumph, in those moments when she somehow managed to get through to the child. And despite the struggles, Bianca found that she loved Lexie all the more for her fierce, autonomous spirit.
Bright and creative, Lexie was artistic in ways that impressed her teachers, as equally as they astonished her parents. By the age of ten, she was already writing stories that could easily have been penned by adults, and she could paint circles around Lena, who was herself an accomplished artist. And always determined to prove herself, her competitive nature often reminded Bianca of her own. Most importantly though, despite the hurt she would often experience as a result, Lexie had always held the most intense capacity for love. The child seemed to have inherited the very best of both of her parents, and Lena and Bianca were profoundly proud.
Across the room, Lena was snuggled up in the chaise, quietly reading with their youngest daughter, Katy, who had turned eight just the December past. They were halfway through the first book in the Magic Tree House Series that Emma had recommended, after having devoured both the Little House on the Prairie and the Anne of Green Gables Series, in record time. Bianca had read both of the older series when she was a child, and she was delighted to find that her daughters enjoyed them as well.
Out of all their children, Katy was the most avid reader; though all of their girls were reared with a love of books, of the adventures to be found within their pages. A true bookworm by nature, Katy insisted that Lena read with her every single night, without fail. And Lena was always more than willing to comply with her youngest daughter's demand. After all, as with all of their older daughters, nightly readings had been a part of Katy's life from the first moment they'd learned she was on the way.
Glancing at Bianca, Lena smiled at the memory of her wife snuggled up against her growing belly, reading quietly to their unborn daughters. Those moments were always so sweet and tender, just the memory of them brought tears to Lena's eyes. She remembered doing the same when Bianca was carrying Jordan, and without conscious thought, it had just become something that they did with each pregnancy. A part of her missed those moments—the closeness they shared as they anticipated the arrival of their newest offspring. But they shared different kinds of moments now, and each one was as valuable as the next.
She was yanked from her reminiscences by the clamoring protest from Katy, who was not at all pleased that her story had been derailed. Lena laughed softly. "I'm sorry, Sweetheart," she said, pressing a light kiss to her daughter's temple. "Mama got a little distracted," she explained, her eyes still on Bianca.
Across the room, Bianca felt her face flush at the attention. Averting her gaze, she willfully returned her attention to their daughters' homework, as Lena resumed the story.
More often than not, Tori joined them in the chaise, after her homework was finished. Like Katy, she was a natural-born booklover. But mostly, she enjoyed reading alone. She was their quiet, introspective child, and her mothers often wondered how she managed to survive amongst all the noise and chaos in their home. Sometimes, she seemed lost in the crowd, but when asked about her tendency to isolate, she simply explained that she liked it that way. And so Lena and Bianca stopped worrying, and embraced her instinct for what it was—natural, for her.
Both women were startled from their undertakings, as Jordan came crashing through the back door, obviously flustered, and bordering on frantic. The hint of tears in her eyes, she glanced back and forth between her mothers, and quickly bolted from the room. Behind her, Kendall entered the house, quietly closing the back door.
Two sets of curious eyes fell on Kendall, and all she could do was shake her head and shrug. "She won't tell me what's wrong," she said helplessly. Her heart ached for the child she had loved from the moment she'd learned of her, and fleetingly, she hoped she wouldn't feel quite so powerless when her own daughter, Amelia, struggled with those inevitable growing pains.
Lena nodded to Bianca, both of them understanding the gesture. "I'll go, Sweetheart," she said, setting the book aside. Katy protested against the repeat intrusion, but Lena was quick to allay her fussing. "I'll be back soon," she promised, kissing her gently on the top of her head. "We have a chapter to finish before we leave for dinner, right?"
Katy offered a partially toothless grin in response. "Right, Mama," she said brightly.
"That's my girl," Lena praised, kissing Katy again as she rose from the chaise.
A loving hand swept across Bianca's shoulder as Lena passed by, prompting Bianca to meet her gaze. "Give me a few minutes with her?" Lena quietly requested.
"Of course," Bianca replied. She understood, more than anyone, the depth of the bond Lena shared with Jordan, and she knew it best to allow them some time alone at first. "I'll be there in a bit."
Lena nodded, and as she exited the room in search of their eldest daughter, Kendall dropped down onto the foot of the lounger, crossing one long, sleek leg over the other. Katy was immediately in her lap, and Kendall hugged her close as she talked with her sister. "She was practically in tears by the time she got to my office, but she swears everything is fine," she sighed, in response to Bianca's unspoken question.
All Bianca could do was shrug. "Teenagers."
Making her way to the girls' room, Lena found Jordan in a heap on her bed, bawling her eyes out. She gingerly lowered herself to the mattress, stroking her daughter's back reassuringly. "What's wrong, Sweetheart?" she quietly inquired.
Jordan continued to sob, as Lena coaxed her up, cradling her in comforting arms. Leaning back against the headboard, she gently stroked Jordan's mop of soft, dark curls. Jordan clung to her Mama, holding on as her body convulsed, and Lena continued to offer quiet reassurances, until her daughter's last tears were spent.
"Did someone hurt you?" Lena's voice was soft, but riddled with concern. Jordan wasn't prone to tears or teenaged angst, so she knew something was very wrong.
"No—"
"Then what happened?" Lena gently prodded.
"I can't, Mama," Jordan resisted. She shook her head in emphasis.
Lena pressed her lips against her daughter's thick mane of curls. "You can tell me anything, Jordan," she whispered.
Jordan was quiet for a while. And then she burrowed deeper into Lena's embrace, sniffing back the tears. "I don't know what's wrong with me, Mama."
Delivered on a choked whisper, her confession was brimming with emotion. She sounded both sad, and a little scared. But scared of what? Even she didn't know. And beneath it all, ran a trickling undercurrent of excitement that felt both good and bad all at the same time.
There were so many ways to interpret Jordan's comment, and Lena knew from experience that the fewer questions asked, the better. At least for the moment. Bianca had taught her that asking leading questions could veer the conversation far off track. And so using silence to her advantage, she waited for Jordan to continue.
"I think maybe I'll disappoint you."
"Something happened that you think will upset your Mom and me," Lena said in response. It wasn't a question.
"Yes," Jordan confessed. "Only… it didn't exactly just… happen," she added, emphasizing the lack of happenstance.
"You were willingly involved," Lena surmised.
"Yeah," Jordan nodded.
Lena nodded, contemplating. "Hmm…"
Several moments passed, and then she tipped her daughter's chin, their dark gazes locking. "What have we always told you, Sweetheart?" It was more a reminder than a question.
Jordan sniffed again, "I know, Mama," she quietly replied. "As long as I follow my heart, and I've done the best I possibly can, you and Mom will always be proud of me." Those dark, expressive eyes welled up with tears, causing her to avert her mother's gaze again.
"Oh, my sweet, sweet love, that hasn't changed," Lena gently reassured, allowing Jordan the comfort and privacy of burying her tearstained face against her Mama's chest like she had as a child. Her fingertips threaded lightly through thick dark curls as she kissed Jordan's temple again.
"Yeah, but I've never really done anything… bad… before," Jordan reasoned, placing judgment on her own actions.
"What makes you believe you've done something bad now?" Lena asked, emphasizing the timeframe.
"Not bad, I guess," Jordan reconsidered. "Just… not what you might expect."
"What do you mean?" Lena asked, gently encouraging further disclosure.
Jordan's lower lip began to tremble as she contemplated what she was about to say, "I… well, Mama..." She gulped in a huge breath of air, and slowly exhaled. "I… I think… I'm… I'm straight…" The crux of her confession was exhaled on a whisper, evidencing something akin to shame.
The intense wave of relief that washed over Lena in the wake of Jordan's confession was indescribably liberating. She wanted to laugh from the sheer joy of it. But one look at her daughter and she understood how deeply she had been affected by this 'realization,' so to speak. She smiled softly at her, as she gently stroked her cheek. "Well, what's so bad about that, Sweetheart?"
"Nothing, I guess," Jordan answered, sounding unconvinced. "But you and Mom…"
"Did you think that Mom and I would expect you to be gay, just because we are?" Lena queried.
"Well, kinda—," Jordan shrugged.
Lena allowed herself a low chuckle then, hugging Jordan close. "Sweetheart, we would never want you to try to be something that you're not meant to be," she gently consoled. "Gay, straight, bisexual, or anything else… it doesn't matter to us. We just want you to be happy."
Silently, Bianca leaned against the doorjamb, her arms casually crossed beneath her breasts. An affectionate smile graced her features, as she watched the two of them. They had shared a bond from the moment Lena learned Jordan was on the way, and even after sixteen years, it still warmed Bianca's heart watching her wife interact with their firstborn. She stayed silent a while longer, simply taking the two of them in.
"What brought all of this on?" Bianca finally asked, her voice gentle as she pushed away from the doorframe, sauntering toward them. The bed dipped slightly, as she settled on the other side of their daughter.
Jordan was quiet for several moments as she contemplated her mothers. "Well," she finally said on a sigh, "AJ and I were studying at the park this afternoon…"
"Ah, AJ," Bianca sighed, as if that answered everything. A gentle hand caressed along Jordan's cheek. "Tell us about it."
An inexplicable sense of relief flooding her, Jordan relaxed then, and began recounting the events of her afternoon. She started with the impromptu birthday party at the ball field, sharing how much fun they all had, and how much it meant to her that Cass had arranged it for her. She went on to explain that she and AJ were studying for finals afterwards, and how it happened that AJ was chasing her through the park.
"He's chased me through that park a thousand times," she sighed. "But this time was… different, I guess."
"How so?" Bianca gently prodded when Jordan's story stalled.
A jumble of thoughts warred for her attention, as Jordan contemplated her response. Was it weird that she had kissed a boy? Or was it just weird that it was AJ? Was it okay that she had wanted him to? Was it weird for her to talk to her moms about it? She didn't know, but that wasn't going to stop her. She talked to them about everything, so why should this be any different?
"This time, when he caught me, I turned around, and he… well, he kissed me," she finally confessed. She paused, swallowing hard, as she tried to find words to explain the things that had happened in her body. Coming up short, she simply admitted, "And I really liked it, Mom," her voice barely cracking a whisper.
Offering a benevolent smile, Bianca gently stroked her daughter's cheek. "Did it make your belly do flip-flops?" she asked knowingly.
Jordan blushed just slightly, and she nodded. "Yeah…" Among other things.
"Well, there's nothing wrong with that," Bianca reassured, her gaze instinctively falling on Lena's.
"Did that happen to you the first time somebody kissed you?" Jordan asked with wide-eyed curiosity.
"Yes," Bianca admitted.
"What was her name?" Jordan asked.
"Her name was Sarah," Bianca shared, with just a hint of wistfulness at the memory. "And I was sixteen, just like you."
"Really?" Jordan sounded surprised.
Bianca nodded. "Really."
"What happened to her?"
"She married someone else," Bianca answered simply, after a few moments' contemplation. "And I went on to meet your Mama," she added, steering the conversation away from the past. She leaned forward, grasping Jordan's hand in her own. "And you know what?"
Jordan smiled at the playful tone in her mother's voice. "What?" she asked, her tone equally as playful.
"Your Mama's kisses still make my belly do flip-flops," Bianca shared.
"Even after all these years?" Jordan sounded intrigued.
"Absolutely," Bianca answered, her gaze locking once again on Lena's.
Leaning across their daughter's shoulder, Lena feathered her fingertips along Bianca's cheek with affection. "It's the same for me," she quietly admitted, as Bianca instinctively leaned into her touch.
"Wow…"
Delivered on an exhale, Jordan sounded nearly astonished, as her gaze moved from one parent to the other. And then she arched an eyebrow, making her look so much like her mother. "You really don't care if I like boys?" she asked, her thoughts bouncing back to AJ… and that kiss.
"Really, Honey," Bianca confirmed.
"We just want you to be happy, Sweetheart," Lena said reassuringly.
"I think maybe I am," Jordan said, more to herself than her mothers.
Bianca grinned mischievously then. "Babe and I always thought you and AJ would end up together," she announced, referring to AJ's mother.
Jordan rolled her eyes. Always the matchmaker, her mother. "Don't start planning the wedding yet, Mom," she said in that dry tone that reminded Bianca so much of Lena. "It was just a kiss."
Laughing, Bianca hugged her daughter close. She, of all people, understood how unlikely it was that a high school love would last a lifetime. And as she gazed at her beautiful wife, with their daughter snuggled between them, she had never been more grateful to have loved and lost in the past.
The Cottage, Martha's Vineyard—Saturday, April 21, 2029, 9:00 a.m. Eastern Daylight Time
In a rare moment of solitude, Bianca stood alone on the back deck of the cottage, her dark gaze tracking on the rolling waves as they tumbled toward the shore. A lone seagull swooped down, snatching its breakfast from the surf, unawares, and then off it flew into the endless expanse of clear, blue sky.
The morning was still cool, but the air held promise of a warm, sunshiny day at the beach—perfect for the day's events. Briefly, she recalled her own wedding shower, thrown by her sister Kendall, and her best friend, Maggie Stone. She laughed softly at the memory—a Renaissance themed bridal/baby shower. Only the two of them could've concocted such a scenario, and the adored them both for their efforts.
Her thoughts turned to Jordan then, instinctively drifting back to those moments so preciously woven into her heart. Her first tooth, her first words, first steps, the day she discovered her reflection in the oven door, and spent endless hours entertaining that other baby. Bianca laughed at that memory. And then there was Jordan's first day of kindergarten… her first kiss. A wistful smile flickered at the corners of her mouth as she remembered Jordan's sweet sixteen, and all that had followed in the wake of that innocent kiss.
Releasing a quiet sigh of deep inner contentment, she wrapped her arms around herself, a shield against the last vestiges of chill that floated in the brisk ocean breeze. As she did, another pair of arms came around her, embracing her from behind.
Soft lips brushed against Bianca's neck, and then against her earlobe, causing Bianca's belly to twist with instantaneous desire. "What are we thinking?" Lena asked, her voice a warm caress as she murmured the familiar question.
That wistful smile unfurled from the corners of her mouth, as she sank into the warmth of her wife's embrace. "I was just remembering the day Jordan came out to us," she chuckled, recalling how dramatic the whole scene had been. So unlike their eldest child.
"Ah, yes, the infamous coming out scene," Lena sighed reflectively. "Only our daughter," she laughed softly.
"It's hard to believe that was nine years ago tomorrow," Bianca acknowledged, her tone thoughtful. "And now she's about to become a married woman."
"The years sure have gone quickly, haven't they?" Lena mused. As proud as she was of their children, a corner of her heart ached with the passage of those years.
"Much more quickly than I would've liked," Bianca admitted, her own heart aching a little as well.
"Agreed," Lena sighed softly. Her thoughts turned inward then, as she contemplated their years together. "There hasn't been a single day in the last twenty five years, I haven't felt deeply grateful that you allowed me to be a part of her life… and yours," she quietly shared.
The burden of her past misdeeds had long been buried, but memories of those tenuous days after she had realized Bianca was pregnant lay fresh in her mind, and she felt the tears threatening to spill. Just the mere thought of Bianca's suffering as she contemplated telling Lena about the pregnancy still left Lena with the faintest hint of sadness.
Nineteen, and pregnant with her rapist's baby, Bianca had struggled, scared that the truth would cost her Lena's love. But Lena knew from the moment she saw the positive test that she would love Bianca and her child for eternity. If only she had been able to tell Bianca that from the beginning. But what was past was past, and there was nothing they could've done to change it. They lived life in the now, and looked forward to whatever the future would bring.
"Allowed you?" Bianca replied, sounding lightly incredulous. "Was there ever really a choice for either of us?"
The hint of teasing in her tone drew Lena from her musings; and Bianca could feel Lena's smile against her cheek as her wife kissed the corner of her mouth.
"No," Lena admitted, her arms tightening around Bianca's body. "I was already in love with both of you."
"Both of us, huh?" Bianca queried, a teasing lilt to her tone.
Lena smiled. "Yes," she confirmed. "You, practically from the moment we met… and Jordan, from the moment I knew she was growing inside you."
"I'm the one who's grateful, my love," Bianca declared, her tone turning serious again, as she pivoted in Lena's arms. Her arms went instinctively around Lena's neck, as two sets of dark eyes—one the shade of onyx, the other, of roasted chestnuts—locked together, searching. "Twenty five years in, and I still wouldn't change a moment of what we've shared."
"Not even one?" A teasing lilt accented Lena's grin.
"Not a single one," Bianca insisted. And it was true. Even the hardest times, when she was in her mid-twenties, struggling to finish her master's degree, and then her doctorate, with four little ones under foot, life seemed somehow manageable, because Lena was always there to love her, to help her, to ground her. "I couldn't have asked for a more supportive partner… or a more perfect mama for my children."
"Are you saying you'd marry me all over again?" Lena queried, the golden flecks in her dark eyes sparkling in the morning sunlight.
"In a heartbeat," Bianca declared, searching Lena's face. She loved the way the light caught the tips of Lena's hair, making it glisten in the morning sun. Lena always seemed most alive when they were on the Vineyard; so young, so vibrant, even as they aged. Bianca supposed the reason was that the pressures and stress of business were left behind in Pine Valley, and Lena was far more able to relax at their cottage. And that was why she found herself encouraging more frequent getaways in recent years.
A soft, satisfied sigh fell from Lena's lips, as she pulled Bianca close. "That's good to know." She fell quiet for a moment, her thoughts drifting back to their family. "We've raised some incredible children together, haven't we?"
"So far, so good," Bianca couldn't help but agree. Jordan was turning twenty five, finishing law school at Yale, and getting married, all inside the span of two short months. And Lexie would soon be starting her senior year at Boston University, where she was studying communications and journalism. Tori would be heading back to UCLA to begin her sophomore year in the pre-med program at the same time, and Katy…
The mere thought of how quickly they were growing up brought tears to her eyes. "Our little Katy is almost a high school senior," she sniffed. "And then she's running off to Europe…"
"Not for another year and a half, Sweetheart," Lena attempted to console. Lightly, she threaded her fingers through Bianca's thick dark locks. Tilting Bianca's head back, Lena sought her familiar gaze.
"It's only fifteen months," Bianca countered, referring to Katy's impending departure for the University of Cambridge in the United Kingdom, where she intended to study architectural design in a little over a year.
Gently, Lena tipped Bianca's chin, wiping away her tears. And then she pressed a light kiss against her wife's lips, and smiled softly into those tearstained eyes. "It'll give us an excuse to travel abroad more often," she soothed.
Bianca smiled through her tears. "You always know exactly what to say to me," she quietly praised.
"That's because I know you better than anyone," Lena declared.
Arching an eyebrow, Bianca gave Lena that look—the one that never failed to evoke a response within her body. Instantly, Lena felt the familiar, but always titillating heat of arousal settle deep in her belly. And the sharp pang of wanton desire that followed drew a rush of wetness, causing her clitoris to distend and throb.
"Oh, yeah?" Bianca husked in challenge, as she leaned close, lightly nipping at Lena's earlobe. The effect she was having on her wife wasn't lost on her, and she relished in it. "Then tell me what I want right now."
Lena groaned. "Something neither of us has time for," she answered in frustration.
Ignoring the gentle rebuff, a roguish grin teased at the corners of Bianca's mouth. And then she nipped at Lena's bottom lip, earning another soft groan. Fingertips tangled in Lena's short, dark locks, as Bianca pulled her wife into a kiss.
Lightly, her tongue played along the contours of Lena's lips, tracing that well-known terrain. Much like their lovemaking, their kisses, while familiar, always felt somehow exciting and new. They lingered together in that paradoxical conversant newness, simply enjoying the experience, as Bianca's tongue played against those soft, supple lips, until finally that probing tongue sought entrance.
Mewling softly, Lena opened to her, allowing her liberties unspoken. Bianca's tongue was warm and smooth, and Lena released a low, slow groan, as Bianca embarked upon a slow exploration of her mouth.
Practically breathless after just a few moments, Lena pulled her closer, her fingers curling into the thin belt loops on Bianca's gray silk-blend trousers. Their bodies were flush up against one another then, and pressing Lena firmly against the porch railing as she kissed her, Bianca managed to insinuate a thigh between Lena's legs, thrusting against her ever so subtly.
Lena growled at the contact, her clitoris already enflamed beyond reason from the mere notion of Bianca's achingly-familiar touch. "If you don't stop that, you'll make me come," she warned. She wasn't exactly certain she didn't want it to happen, but now was neither the time, nor the place, given that she didn't know where their children were, and they were expecting guests at any moment.
Pleased by the response, Bianca grinned against Lena's mouth. "You say that like it's a bad thing," she murmured, emphasizing the perceived judgment.
"Never bad," Lena quickly allayed, her tongue chasing Bianca's.
"I know we don't have time," Bianca murmured softly into their kiss. "But God, I want you right now."
Grinning against Bianca's mouth, Lena whispered playfully, "Serves you right for starting this."
Bianca laughed, and deepened their kiss again. If she couldn't have it right then, that was fine. There was something titillating about stoking the fire, and then carrying the faint flicker of arousal deep within her body all day. That sensation, the anticipation of knowing her need would eventually be quelled, if only she allowed it to smolder, was enough to get her through to that moment when Lena would finally take care of her.
"Seriously?"
Lexie's sharp tone startled them, pulling them from the intimacy of their stolen moment. Lena growled at the intrusion. Or maybe it was Bianca. Either way, they were both disappointed. And something else neither of them saw fit to express.
"It's not even noon," Lexie grumbled, bracing her hands on her hips.
Turning toward their daughter, Bianca's lips adopted a waggish grin. "You're just jealous," she lightly accused.
Story of her life. Lexie rolled her eyes. "Guilty as charged." She plunked down in an Adirondack chair with a heavy sigh, and draped a leg over one arm. "It's bad enough I walked in on Jordan this morning, practically in the midst of orgasm. Jesus," she muttered. She swore her eyes were still burning from the sight.
She blew out a breath, feigning exasperation, but the grin that teased at the corners of her mouth gave her away. "I swear they haven't let up from the moment they started having sex."
Bianca's laugh accompanied Lena's amused grin, as they sat down on the bench across from their daughter. Lena wrapped an arm around Bianca's shoulder, as Bianca relaxed into her side. They crossed their legs in unison, drawing a slight grin from Lexie at the precision movement—as if they had actually practiced it, though she knew they hadn't.
"Guess they're just making up for lost time," Bianca said casually. "It's been tough on them, being apart more than together these past few years."
Lexie supposed that was true, but she wasn't ready to admit it. Instead, she redirected her attention back to her always amorous parents. "So what's your excuse?" she queried dryly.
Laughing softly at her daughter's candor, Bianca leaned into Lena, kissing the corner of her mouth. "I'm still madly in love with your Mama, and I can't keep my hands off of her."
A slight flush colored Lena's skin, as she returned the kiss. Bianca's constant desire for her never grew old. "That goes for both of us," she murmured, more for her wife's sake than her daughter's.
Lexie's sarcastic response died on her tongue, and her eyes misted with unbidden tears. She wanted to be a smartass, as usual, but deep down inside, she envied them. Instead, she found her lips slowly curling into a somber smile. "I hope I have what the two of you have someday," she said quietly.
"That's what we want for you too, Sweetheart," Lena said with affection.
"I don't know how they've managed all this time," Lexie commented, her thoughts drifting back to Jordan's constant separation from the one she loved. Anything to take her mind off of her own floundering personal life. "It would drive me crazy."
Brushing a loving hand over Lexie's arm, Bianca offered reassurance. "When you find the one you're meant to be with, you'll find a way to make it work, regardless of circumstances," she said. She glanced at Lena, the acknowledgment of all they had endured passing between them without need of words.
"You guys always make it seem so easy," Lexie said, contemplatively.
"Believe me, it isn't," Lena responded. "We've had our share of difficult times," she admitted. "But when it matters, you figure it out."
Nodding her acceptance of her Mama's words, Lexie fell silent, reflecting once again. She wondered if she would ever find anyone who mattered that much. Would anyone ever be worth the wait? Worth the fight? Worth the sacrifice? She looked at her parents then, and in her heart she silently prayed that someday, someone would be worth whatever it might take to make it work.
"You all right, Lex?" the therapist in Bianca gently inquired, after several moments of deafening silence. It was highly unusual to have this much quiet around their house—especially with Lexie home.
Lexie offered a wan smile in response. "Yeah, Mom, I'm fine," she lied. "Just… feeling a little jealous of Jordan right now, I guess. Not that I'm not happy for her, of course. She deserves this more than anyone I know."
"You deserve to happy too, Lex," Bianca said gently.
"Sometimes I think happy might be pushing my luck," Lexie said, emphasizing the emotion with a wry lilt. "I just wish I could figure out how to make a relationship last beyond the first date." She laughed, but there was no humor in it.
Sensing the restless discontent in Lexie's words, in her demeanor, Lena gently squeezed Bianca's hand, as she leaned over, brushing her lips against Bianca's cheek. "Why don't I let the two of you talk for a while?" she suggested.
Bianca smiled at her, a gesture of thanks. And then she nodded, and kissed Lena lightly on the mouth. "Yes," she said. "Thank you."
Unfolding from Bianca's embrace, Lena took a step toward Lexie and bent down, brushing a kiss against her temple. "I'll see you inside in a bit."
Lexie nodded, but said nothing in response. She had skirted the conversation with Bianca earlier that morning, but it was clear she wouldn't be getting away with it again. Not that she really minded. Maybe it would help.
Moving from the bench, Bianca lightly tapped Lexie's leg, wordlessly asking her to make room on the Adirondack chair. And then she settled in beside her, taking her daughter in her arms. Lexie snuggled against her easily, settling her head against her mother's shoulder. It reminded Bianca of times past, causing a pang of nostalgia to strike her, and she instinctively pulled Lexie closer, in a protective, almost possessive way.
Brushing dark curls from Lexie's face, lightly, Bianca kissed her daughter's forehead. She was grateful to be able to hold her child this way again, having wondered countless times throughout those tumultuous teenage years, if Lexie would ever even tolerate her again, let alone actually love her, or want her anywhere near. "It'll happen someday, Sweetheart," she said softly. "Probably when you least expect it."
"You're not going to talk about watching pots of water boil, are you?" Lexie asked in an amused tone that caused Bianca to laugh.
"No," she answered lightly.
Lexie settled again, her expression thoughtful. "Is that how it happened for you and Mama?" she asked. "When you least expected it?"
A wistful smile played on Bianca's lips, as those feelings of nostalgia grew sharper. "Yes," she answered quietly. "I was beginning to wonder if I would ever find anyone your Grandma Erica would approve of," she shared, a hint of amusement in her tone.
"And then you met Mama?" Lexie sounded hopeful.
"Then I met your Mama, and my theory was nearly proven true," Bianca laughed. The memory of her mother's ardent disapproval of her relationship with Lena had long been a source of amusement for Bianca. Not that Erica's distrust of Lena hadn't held some merit once upon a time, but those days had long-since passed before Erica finally came to terms with the permanency of their relationship. It had taken the birth of Jordan to reconcile the two women, but since then, there had been no further discord, and for that, Bianca was eternally grateful.
Lexie regarded her mother with a curious expression in her eyes. "Huh?"
"Grandma wasn't exactly our greatest cheerleader in the beginning," Bianca expounded.
"She didn't like Mama?" Lexie sounded almost bewildered.
"Oh, Grandma liked her all right… as the CFO of Enchantment," Bianca explained. "But not so much as a romantic partner for me."
"Why not?" The notion was unfathomable.
"Because she was older," Bianca answered. "Too old for me, according to Grandma."
"But you didn't care," Lexie supplied, as if she already knew the story.
"Not in the least," Bianca grinned. "Your Mama was the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen, and I wanted to kiss her the moment I first saw her. I couldn't stop thinking about her, even when I tried."
"And what about Mama?" Lexie asked. "Did she feel the same way?"
Bianca's face beamed when she smiled. She and Lena had had this discussion long ago. "She said that she did," she answered. "But it wasn't so easy for her."
"Why not?"
"I think she was scared," Bianca answered. "As much as I wondered if I would ever find someone who loved me as much as I loved her, your Mama never believed anyone would, or could, ever love her at all."
"Why would she think that?" Lexie sounded appalled by the mere thought.
"You know what, Sweetheart," Bianca said gently, after considering her wife's right to privacy, "I think that's a story she should share with you herself. You should ask her sometime. I think it would help you understand her… and yourself, a little better."
"What makes you think that?" Lexie asked, curious.
"Because you're very similar in a lot of ways," Bianca answered.
Lexie smiled, and hugged her mother close. That was a compliment she would willingly take. "I'll ask her about it," she agreed. "Thanks, Mom."
Bianca kissed Lexie's temple again. "Anytime, my love," she said with affection. And then she sighed softly, and settled into the comfort of their embrace. "So where are your sisters?" she asked conversationally, once satisfied that Lexie was feeling better. "It's way too quiet around here."
"Jordan's out front waiting for the girls," Lexie answered, referring to her sister's college suitemates. "Ashton called from the airport about twenty minutes ago. They should be here soon."
"Ah," Bianca murmured. "I'm glad they've arrived safely."
"Me too," Lexie agreed. "I know Jordan's excited to see…"
The sounds of laughter and rapidly approaching footsteps interrupted Lexie's response, as Tori and Katy came bounding up the stairs onto the main deck. Thick as thieves since they were babies, it was rare to find one without the other. And this morning hadn't proven an exception, despite the earlier squabble over that perfect pair of jeans Katy was wearing—the ones that Tori still swore belonged to her.
They turned the corner in unison, and swiftly navigating the second flight of stairs, they reached the top level in record time, still laughing, and just slightly out of breath from having run from God knows where. Lexie turned the focus directly on them. "Where have you two been?"
"We were down at the pier with Dad," Tori answered. Given the chance, her wind-tousled hair might have answered for her. The soft chestnut highlights in her dark shaggy locks glistened in the sunlight as she dropped down on the edge of the chair Lexie and Bianca were already occupying.
Her earlier conversation with Lena regarding their children served as catalyst, prompting Bianca to pause a moment, and consider her three youngest daughters. Each having been born within two years of the one previous, they were the epitome of stair-step siblings; so much alike, in so many ways, and yet, they were all so completely unique.
By the time she was eighteen, Lexie was already a published author, having penned several short stories that were picked up by national publications. Midway through her junior year at Boston University, she had been named senior editor of the campus newspaper—a rarity, if ever one existed. And now, at twenty-one, and nearly a senior in college, she had her heart set on becoming a foreign news correspondent. Though the mere thought of her baby girl chasing stories in war-torn countries scared the hell out of her, Bianca was certain that Lexie's tenacious spirit and solid work ethic would take her to places few ever dared dream, and the thing that trumped her fear was the deep sense of pride she felt every time she looked at her daughter.
With a smile playing at the corners of her mouth, Bianca's thoughts turned toward Tori, who at nineteen was a vibrant, strong, and confident young woman. Much like Bianca had been at her age. Suddenly struck by the realization that Tori was the age Bianca had been when Jordan was born, she regarded her daughter with renewed interest. Still their quiet, introverted one, Tori was intelligent and well-spoken like her sisters, with a dry sense of humor, and an engaging quick wittedness. And she was beautiful too, in a shy, understated sort of way. Where Lexie was seemingly all hard edges and raw sensuality, Tori was soft and gentle on the outside, while remaining strong and focused deep within.
Settling in on the bench across from the three of them, Katy bent one jean-clad leg up underneath her, leaned an elbow on the arm, and propped her chin against the palm of her hand. "Yeah," she sighed, piping in. "He and Pawpaw are taking AJ and the boys out on the sailboat for the afternoon." She sounded almost sad that she wasn't going with them.
Her attention drawn to her youngest daughter, Bianca couldn't help but smile at Katy's comment. Ever their adventurous one, it was just like her to want to be in on the action, rather than sitting on the sidelines, watching the world go by. Growing up, there wasn't a tree she didn't climb, a creek she didn't trudge through, a puddle of mud she didn't land in. And in those moments when she wasn't doing, she was creating. She would spend hours sometimes, leaning over her drafting table, perfecting her latest vision. Her dream was to someday be the one who designed the newest hotels and properties for BGRC, the company her mothers owned with her aunts, Olivia and Natalia.
As the conversation regarding Zach's afternoon outing with the guys continued, Lexie grew restless. Three was a crowd, she decided on a whim, and shifting her leg, she unceremoniously booted Tori off the chair in the midst of one of Katy's comments.
Landing on the wooden deck with a thud, Tori yelped. And then she muttered under her breath, as Katy regarded her with concern. "You all right?" she asked, trying not to laugh once she realized Tori was fine.
Simultaneously, Bianca's face adopted a shocked expression. "Lexie!" she swiftly admonished, having been torn from her reflections about her girls.
A satisfied grin on her face, Lexie just as nonchalantly turned her attention back to her youngest sister. "Sounds like a fun afternoon for the guys," she commented, as if nothing had even happened.
"You're an ass," Tori declared, her hazelnut eyes fixing a glare on Lexie. She rubbed her wounded backside as she peeled herself up off of the deck.
Lexie tossed an amused grin toward Tori. "Serves you right for hogging the bed last night," she said, unaffected by her sister's accusation. It was true enough, she supposed, so why argue it?
Once again, Bianca was reminded of their earlier days. The typical bickering and horseplay of siblings, and the constant admonishments she had given this particular child. Her expression quickly rippled into a soft smile. Sometimes Lexie was downright roguish, but somehow that only served to make her more loveable.
"You could've slept in your own room, y'know," Tori retorted. She plopped down on the bench next to Katy, a safe distance away from her tormentor, and regarded Lexie with a scowl. When Katy's arms came around her, she willingly accepted the comfort, leaning casually against her younger sister.
"Not with those two in the next room," Lexie said wryly. Her tone spoke volumes about the identity of those two, and they all laughed together, knowing she had a point.
Amused, Bianca simply shook her head. Sisters, she sighed inwardly. She hoped they would always be this close, this open and playful with one another.
"Touché," Tori granted without hesitation, her scowl turning into a dramatic widening of her eyes. "Think they'll come up for air after they're married?"
"Doubtful," Lexie said wittily. "The moms never did." Lexie tossed a teasing grin toward her mother, who promptly tousled her thick mane of curls.
"Watch it, kid," Bianca playfully admonished.
"What?" Lexie protested, feigning complete innocence. "You're the one who just told me you still can't keep your hands off of Mama."
"Okay, gross," Katy proclaimed. Plugging her ears, she declared that she didn't want to hear another word. It was bad enough knowing they still did it. She certainly didn't need to hear about it! Determined to escape unscathed, she made a mad dash for the back door, quickly distancing herself from any further discussions regarding her parents and their sex life. And as the back door slammed, the echo of laughter followed after her.
TBC in Chapter 6.4…
