Disclaimer: I still don't own Ed, Edd n' Eddy, Marvel, or DC!
Raging Red Ed!
Deep in the furthest reaches of the galaxy, a malevolent stream of red light was zooming through the cosmos snarling like a rabid beast. But this was no beast. It was indeed a person. It was the big, loveable oaf known as Ed and his anger has reached new heights. He wanted to kill the Joker for what he did to his friends, family, and the cul-de-sac that he called home, but since he's not around Ed will, in his berserker rage, settle for spilling the blood of anything that finds itself unlucky enough to find itself in his line of sight. Blinded by rage, he doesn't care who or what it is.
He smashed his way through comets, meteorites, and asteroids. Hell, he even flew straight through a dying planet and caused it to explode due to flying straight through its core!
In fact he was flying so fast, he was going to make it to where the ring was taking him in merely a few hours as opposed to what would usually have been a few weeks due to the quadrant of the universe he was coming from. And that destination was the planet Ysmault: the home of the Red Lantern Corps.
Ysmault itself is a rather barren planet with rocky land masses devoid of greenery, and instead of water, the planet's oceans, rivers, and lakes were made entirely out of blood. Even the sky of Ysmault was red as opposed to the beautiful blue skies of Earth. And currently, we find a small group of Red Lanterns heading towards a large blood lake located near their central Power Battery. Leading this group was a large humanoid alien with deep red skin, glowing yellow eyes, sharp teeth, and talons that looked like they could slice through steel effortlessly.
The second member of the group was also from Earth, but was rather unusual. How is it unusual you might be asking? Well, that's because…
It's a freaking blue-furred domestic house cat!
The third member of the group was a humanoid woman with blue skin, yellow eyes, wings sticking out of her back that were made of bones, and a figure that any woman would kill for. She was dressed in an outfit that would have been more suitable for a succubus, and had a cowl that covered her head from the eyes up.
Next there was an alien that looked, for lack of a better description, like a giant meatball with a human face and arms and legs.
Finally, there was a humanoid alien with a head that looked an awful lot like an antelope skull.
These five Red Lanterns are Atrocitus, Dex-Starr, Bleez, Zilius Zox, and Skallox, and they're on a mission to find and reign in their newest recruit.
"Are you sure that this new Red Lantern is really worth all this effort, Lord Atrocitus?" Zilius Zox asked.
Pausing mid-flight, Atrocitus turned to the floating golfball of a Red Lantern with an all-too friendly smile.
"Zox, pal, who founded the Red Lanterns?" Atrocitus asked.
"Uh, you?" Zilius Zox replied.
"And who found Ysmault, the planet with the blood waters that can snap a Red Lantern back to their senses?" Atrocitus further questioned.
"You." Zilius Zox replied.
"Mm. And who did I elect as your leader due to overwhelming power?" Atrocitus asked one more time.
And from the sound of it, his patience was wearing thin.
"Uh… you?" Zilius Zox said, though it sounded like a question.
"Hm, okay, then I guess you should SHUT UP, AND DO WHAT I SAY!" yelled Atrocitus as his voice sent the floating meatball flying back.
Bleez could only shake her head in exasperation at the antics of her leader. He may not be as violent or kill happy as before, but that's only because he knows that the Red Lanterns need to be united if they are to have any hope of survival. There could be no infighting if they were to stand a chance against the other Lantern corps should they ever decide to launch a full frontal assault on them. Not surprising since the Red Lanterns are viewed as the villains due to harnessing the red light of rage.
Speaking of rage, a loud snarl was soon heard overhead causing the small group of Red Lanterns to look up.
They didn't really understand what they were seeing.
It looked like the ring had chosen a kid as its bearer, but his costume was like nothing they'd ever seen. It was the standard red and black color scheme of the Red Lantern uniforms, but it seemed to resemble clothes worn by Earth Vikings. He wore a red tunic, black pants, a black rope belt, and he had a metallic red Viking helmet with sharp horns on his head. A pair of black armored shoulderpads held a red bearskin cape in place, and the Red Lantern insignia was on the kid's chest. But the strangest part of the costume was that he wore a gas mask over his face with a beard attached to it. And held in his hand was a hard light construct of a spatula of all things.
"So THIS is our new recruit? He's just a kid!" Skallox said incredulously.
"So? Dex-Starr is cat. You say Dex-Starr no can be Red Lantern because Dex-Starr is cat?" Dex asked in broken English using his ring to communicate.
Naturally, Skallox was taken aback by that question since he knew that Dex's origin was a sensitive topic.
"What? Nah, that's different. It's just that I was expecting a full-grown person or another alien instead of a human child." Skallox explained.
But Ed wasn't listening to the conversation below him. He was still utterly consumed by rage. And the endless talking was just making him angrier. He really needed to destroy something if he was going to relieve any stress, and he knew exactly how to do that. As his ring glowed brighter and brighter, Ed yelled a familiar phrase to when these events first happened.
"I AM A MONSTER!"
The Red Lanterns looked up just in time to see the horrifying sight of Ed being encased in the red energy of his ring as the energy took on the shape of a familiar monster with tentacles for arms, a reptilian body, large compound eyes over a pair of mammalian eyes, a row of spikes running from his head down his back, powerful mandibles on the sides of large jaws full of sharp teeth, a single hooked claw on one hand, and pincers for a hand on the other.
Ladies and gentlemen, Ed-Zilla is back and better than ever!
"BLAAAAAARRRGH!" roared Ed, his Ed-Zilla construct standing tall and even more menacing than before.
It was so big and scary looking that it was even scaring most of the Red Lanterns in the small group. They knew that this new guy was strong, but they didn't think he was going to be THIS strong! This beast looked like he could eat the entire Red Lantern corps for breakfast and STILL be hungry! Skallox, however, wasn't all that scared. In fact, he seemed to be entertained by this new development.
"Nice entrance." quipped Skallox.
Naturally, Bleez and the rest of the group aside from Atrocitus and Skallox began to scream as their fear overpowered their rage. Atrocitus himself was sweating as he tried to think of a solution. Fortunately, he remembered a tactic that usually worked in situations like these.
"We need live bait!" exclaimed Atrocitus.
He reached into Zilius Zox's pocket as Ed-Zilla roared with rage, and pulled a live chicken out of his fellow Red Lantern's pocket. The sight of the familiar farm fowl sparked a small bit of Ed's true personality as he stopped his aggressive behavior and started following the chicken. Atrocitus was quick to release the bird as Ed in his monster construct followed after it. The live bait tactic was working like a charm.
"FLEE TO THE HILLS, GERTRUDE!" screamed Zilius Zox.
"Quickly, to the mountain bunker! Hurry, this kid is much too powerful to take on in small numbers!" Atrocitus ordered as he flew to a bunker built into the face of a cliff.
The rest of the group quickly followed their leader's example. Atrocitus used his ring's energy to get the bunker door open as Bleez quickly flew in. Followed by Dex-Starr who was definitely reliving those moments before he became a Red Lantern. That time when those bad humans stuffed him into a potato sack after killing the sweet old lady that was his owner, and then attempting to drown him. He was feeling as much fear as he'd felt then, and then some.
"Out of the way!" Zilius Zox shouted as he bowled past Atrocitus.
The leader of the Red Lanterns just looked ahead with a case of mild annoyance.
"Overwhelming fear is no excuse for rudeness, Zox." muttered Atrocitus.
Atrocitus was startled out of his musings as Skallox pushed him along into the bunker, cackling at the situation like a mad gazelle. As they both made it in, the doors to the bunker closed behind them. And just in time as Ed roared and approached the base of the cliff. Taking a moment to collect himself, Atrocitus sighed and sat down.
"Alright, we should be safe here until backup arrives." Atrocitus said, having sent out a message for reinforcements the moment Ed created his construct.
"Are you sure?" Bleez asked in an uncharacteristically timid tone.
Atrocitus nodded and opened a hatch in the bunker wall. It allowed everyone to peer out and see Ed-Zilla crawling around at the base of the cliff as he seemed to be waiting for his prey to come to him.
"He's in his own little world now. The best thing we can do is just ignore him." Atrocitus said.
But there might as well have been an invasion of Sinestro Corps members, because the feeling of fear was strong in Zilius Zox as he began to panic big time!
"The beast circles with hunger! We must appease it with a sacrifice!" he exclaimed in a crazy manner as he held Bleez above his head/body.
"Put me down, you floating meatball!" protested Bleez as she tried to get out of the floating ball of flesh's surprisingly strong grip.
"HOLD IT!" screamed Atrocitus. "You can't play his game, you'll only encourage his bad behavior!"
"So what, it's funny." said Skallox.
Zilius Zox sweated and smiled nervously as he looked up at Bleez who was obviously pissed off at being manhandled like she currently was.
"Let go of me!" she demanded.
And gave Zilius Zox a righteous right hook to the top of his head… body?... causing a cartoonishly big bump to develop.
"See?" laughed Skallox.
"There's only one thing left to do. Someone has to go down there and beat him into submission!" said Atrocitus as he slumped forward in resignation. "...I'll go."
"Killjoy." groaned Skallox.
But before anyone could say or do anything else the cliffside bunker began to shake and shudder as loud thuds could be heard. It turns out that Ed-Zilla was slamming his head against the cliff wall in an attempt to bring his prey literally down to earth. He was roaring and snarling, slobbering as he continued to give in to his feral instincts, only stopping momentarily to ease the dizziness and headache that was forming from repeatedly hitting his head against solid rock.
Eventually, the bunker began to fall as the cliff face gave way, sending Atrocitus and his small group of Red Lanterns plummeting to the ground screaming. As the dust cleared, Atrocitus and Dex-Starr were the first out of the rubble. Zilius Zox pushed aside a rock that had been on top of him and rubbed his head where he was bleeding a bit.
"Are you alright, Zox?" asked Atrocitus.
"Yes, surprisingly I am." Zilius Zox replied.
Right until he was caught between the teeth of the Ed-Zilla construct!
"Please ask my family to remember well of me." Zilius Zox squeaked in fear.
He was soon gulped down in one bite by the construct, held prisoner within its impenetrable gut as the rest of it rose from the rubble, roaring with a struggling Bleez held tight within its tentacle arm.
"GET HIM OFF! AHH, HE'S TOO STRONG!" screamed Bleez as she was carried away by the beast.
But Atrocitus and Dex-Starr weren't going to let him get away like that.
"HANG ON, BLEEZ, I'M-"
Unfortunately, their rescue effort was halted as Skallox rose up out of the rubble with a black eye, some missing teeth, and looking as dazed as Eddy usually does when he takes a big hit. Not that either Red Lantern knows who that is, mind you.
"Hey, if you find any teeth laying around, they're mine…" Skallox said in a dazed state.
As he fell back to the ground, Atrocitus could only sigh in annoyance at how incompetent these guys could be sometimes. He just hoped that his reinforcements would arrive soon.
***To Be Continued…***
Ending AN: Yeah, I'm sorry that this chapter is as short as it is. I had planned for there to be this epic fight scene between Ed and the Red Lanterns, but plans ended up falling through. You know why? It's because I was sick! I caught a nasty head cold, so I had a small fever, my nose was stuffed up and runny, I was coughing all last weekend and into Monday, and I had a nasty headache too! All in all, I was not a happy camper. Add in to the fact that I hardly have time to write as it is anymore and you've got a recipe for a short chapter. But anyway, I hope you all enjoyed the chapter anyway. See you all next update!
