Hey everyone, I would like to start off with a massive apology for dropping off the face of the Earth and not updating this story for so long! I became part of a Harry Potter FanFiction Competition which alongside my job and exams, has consumed my time. However, I am hoping to be much more regularly again as I love Rory and Logan so much and I can't wait to carry on writing them. I just hope you still want to continue with me!
Chapter Ten
The next few days or so were a blur for Rory. She spent it wrapped in blankets on her bed, barely aware of other people coming in and out of her apartment, only capturing snippets of the conversation.
"You can't feed her ice cream!"
"She's not eating, Luke, if anything does get past her lips it needs to be high calorie."
"... She's worrying me, Lorelai…"
"...Rory, sweetie…"
"...If you arrange the tickets, I'll get her there…"
"Rory, Rory," shouted Lorelai, as she gripped her daughter's shoulders and shook.
"What?" groaned Rory, throwing her forearm over her eyes, not accustomed to the light streaming in through the curtains after having them closed.
"I've left you to wallow, and in other circumstances, I might carry on letting you wallow," said Lorelai sternly. "But you are growing my grandchild inside of you so I can't allow it any longer. You're going to get up, get into the shower because frankly, my sweet, you smell, and then you're going to have a cup of decaf and something to eat."
Rory sat up and rubbed her eyes. She knew by the moisture on the heels of her palms that she was still crying. It seemed to be her new normal now, she barely noticed the tears leaking. "I'm not hungry."
"I don't care," said Lorelai bluntly, sitting down on the edge of the bed. "Besides, you'll need some food in you before you get to the airport."
"The airport?"
"Yes, because the one person who I think you can get out of this stupor lives across an ocean," said Lorelai. "Logan is worried about you and he would come over himself but he can't until next week. I didn't think you could carry on in this state until then so he's arranged everything, I just need to get you to the airport."
"I can't," cried Rory. "I can't see him, I have ruined his life. I am Miley Cyrus and my bump is my wrecking ball."
Lorelai frowned. "You're not as fun as Miley is, sweetheart, so you're not. You think you've ruined Logan's life - is that his opinion as well? It's his life, I think he gets to decide if it's ruined or not."
"He's not going to admit that to me," replied Rory dismissively.
"He's not going to admit it because I don't think it's true," exclaimed Lorelai exasperated. "This is the life he wanted a decade ago, now he's got it, so I think he's fine. His first choice was always you."
Rory rolled her eyes. "Yes, because this is everybody's dream."
"Well, maybe after you've washed your hair," winked Lorelai.
Rory felt just as dead as she was walking through the arrivals terminal, dragging her case behind her. Although it had been an overnight flight she had barely slept. She was used to zipping back and forth over the ocean but pregnancy had made her restless and uncomfortable, even though Logan had got her a first-class ticket. She couldn't even enjoy the glasses of champagne her fellow passengers were. She missed champagne, she thought wryly.
The airport was bright and bustling, and she barely had the energy to make her way through it, arrange a taxi and call Logan. It was lucky there were so many people waiting to pick up loved ones, and chauffeurs with signs that she had to look up to figure her path through because otherwise, she wouldn't have noticed the driver in a black suit holding a sign that said 'Ace'.
"Hi, by Ace, do you mean Rory Gilmore?" asked Rory, awkwardly with a smile.
"I've been hired by Mr Huntzberger to collect 'Ace'," replied the driver with a shrug.
"That would be me," said Rory. The driver smiled and gestured to take her case from her, which she handed over gratefully, and then she followed him out of the airport to unsurprisingly a short black limousine. There were some things about Logan that would never change.
The driver took care of her luggage first and then opened the door for her. Sat inside on the black leather seats was Logan, with his arms opened wide for her.
"Oh," sighed Rory, before climbing into the car with him and burying her head into his chest with a sob.
"Hey," said Logan, softly. "It's okay, it's okay."
She didn't know how long she was in his embrace for, with him gently stroking her back as she cried, but soon she could feel the hum of the engine and the gentle sway as they drove. She was still in his arms as she felt the car come to a stop.
Rory lifted her head with a shuddery breath. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to… to do that."
"You don't need to apologise," smiled Logan, cupping her face. "If that's what you need, that's what you need."
"I think it was," replied Rory. "I feel better than I have for a few days now."
"I'm glad."
"Where are we?"
"Outside the apartment," said Logan. "I took the morning off, I wanted to get you myself and help you settle in. Are you ready?"
Rory nodded mutely. She was strangely nervous about being in Logan's home again. It was a place she had previously felt most comfortable in out of all the various places she'd crashed over the years, had selfishly thought of it as theirs. Although she would never admit that to Logan. She was vaguely aware of the driver getting her luggage and handing it to Logan, a tip exchanging hands. She glanced to give a brief smile, conscious that she had just spent however long sobbing in front of this man. She let Logan lead her up, his hand on the small of her back.
Everything was exactly the same as she remembered it. The grey l-shaped couch she had spent many an occasion cosied up with Logan on, snuggled under the soft throws scattered on it. The same hardwood floors she had pattered around on. The same skiing picture on his side table, the guitar in one corner, his home office set up in the other. There was no trace that another woman had ever been there. Not that, objectively speaking, there was a real trace of herself ever being there.
"She barely lived here," commented Logan, noticing her trying to take in every detail. "It was easy for her to move out. Well, logistically. I don't think anything about this has been easy."
"It didn't sound easy for her when she came to see me," said Rory, her voice cracking. She sat down on the sofa, tucking her legs underneath her and grabbing a cream coloured cushion to cuddle in front of her.
"I didn't know she was going to visit you," sighed Logan, sitting down on the sofa next to her but on the curve so he was facing her. His hand was halfway outstretched on the fabric, as though he had reached out to grab her hand and then changed his mind. "I would have at least warned you, so you could have prepared for the conversation. Or hidden."
"I can't believe for so long I disregarded how much we were hurting her, I was hurting her," said Rory, quietly, staring down.
"I was the one hurting her," protested Logan. "I was the one in a relationship with her, Rory. "I was the one who chose to carry on a relationship with her whilst me and you were… well, me and you."
"At my insistence!"
"I'm a big boy, Ace," said Logan, with a sigh. "You didn't want a relationship with me, you never asked me to stay with her at the same time, that was my choice. I shouldn't have done that."
"It was only because I wanted Vegas."
"We could have had Vegas whilst I was single," stated Logan. "Whatever we had could have been whatever we wanted it to be whilst I was single. I was an idiot."
"I compartmentalised our lives to the point I had convinced myself everything was so separate and had no impact on the other," explained Rory slowly, trying to put her feelings into words. "That I had no impact on the people in your life."
"I did the same," said Logan.
"It annoys me because when people find out, they assume that you're the bad guy," said Rory, furrowing her eyebrows. "That poor little Rory Gilmore got yanked along in life in this direction by the bad boy Logan Huntzberger. When it was very much me yanking you along and I'm the one who has form! I'm thirty-two years old, you'd think I would have learnt from the mistakes I made as a teenager, but no!"
"Dean?" questioned Logan.
Rory nodded. "I was with him when he was married to Lindsey, but I told myself that it was okay because he was mine first."
"You think of me as yours?" asked Logan, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth despite the seriousness of the conversation.
Rory whipped her head up and caught his gaze. "I think I always will."
"I don't think it makes you a bad person, Ace, it's true," said Logan, softly. "You were the first person to have my heart and you'll always have a piece of it. You never gave me it back whole."
"I'm sorry," said Rory, feeling frustrated that she could feel her eyes tearing up again. "Odette told me how she struggled to get into a relationship with you because you were messed up from being in one with me. It's selfish of me to keep a piece of your heart."
Logan shrugged. "Nobody bounces back from a serious relationship quickly or easily. It's not because you're selfish, Rory, it's because I loved you and couldn't be with you. I chose to not give Odette my full heart. Whether I bumped into you again or not, there would always be a piece with you, so you're not the one who controls that. You're not to blame, it's me."
"I think we'll be agreeing to disagree on the blame game," drawled Rory.
"I can agree with that as long as you promise me one thing," negotiated Logan. He carried on after Rory nodded. "It doesn't matter who is to blame but we need to put it behind us. It's not good for either of us and especially the baby, to be wrapped up in so much guilt."
"It feels unfair," frowned Rory. "What are my consequences? I did this bad thing but I'm going to have a baby, whereas Odette is now worrying about her future."
"Yes, we have the most precious thing to look forward to but we still have consequences," disagreed Logan. "Guilt is one of them, and I'm not saying to drop it completely but you have to stop it from consuming you. Lorelai told me that you weren't eating. You still have to live your life and move on."
"I know, and I know it must have looked bad if she practically smuggled me out of the country to see you," said Rory, with a little laugh. "I'm sorry about worrying you. If you were worrying, that is! I don't want to assu-"
"Of course, I was worried about you," interrupted Logan, rolling his eyes. "And not because you're carrying my child, I was worried about you. I hate the fact you're hurting because of me."
"I thought we agreed that we were disagreeing on who is causing the hurt," smiled Rory. "I am sorry. I think you're right - do not let that get to your head - it's okay to have guilt but I can't let it take over my life. I think being here has made me feel better already. Or maybe it was the sobbing the entire drive here that did it."
"I hope you are feeling better, and I hope I helped," said Logan. "Because I'm probably about to make you feel a whole lot worse."
Rory raised an eyebrow. "How so?"
"My dad would like to see us both. Tonight. For dinner."
I hope you enjoyed it and I would love to hear what you thought :)
