A week came and went, and in that time, Evie had opened up just a little to the idea of continuing counseling with Dr. Maruki. Only enough to where she could dress more comfortably for their sessions from now on, at least. It was only the second session, but she remembered she had worn much more formal clothes to her first session. Now she simply wore a pair of black yoga leggings and a pink hoodie overtop a t-shirt of the same color. The black sandals she'd picked out that day were down on the floor, just off to the side of the chair she had her legs lifted up onto. Her knees comfortably close to her chest, she reached over to the bowl of snacks in-between them, looking for something salty since she didn't have much of a sweet tooth. They found themselves talking about food, currently. As an "idol", so to speak, she had to make sure she ate healthy in order to maintain her figure, but Evie was lucky in that she had a fast metabolism. Therefore, she could technically eat whatever she wanted, if she so desired. That would just make her body feel weak, however, because eating healthy wasn't just for the sake of her body's figure. It was also for the sake of how much energy she would have to dance. Seeing as how she choreographed her own dances, and used to dance almost every single day before this hiatus, eating healthy was something she did so she could make sure she even could dance in the first place. Lately, she hadn't been eating nearly as much as she needed to, despite her small stature, and it was beginning to show in how her already high cheekbones became more pronounced. She was losing weight, that much was obvious, though Dr. Maruki either hadn't seemed to notice it or chose not to comment on it. She was grateful for that, to be honest, because she didn't want to deal with that particular issue right now anyway.

The subject then shifted to her life as an idol, and Evelyn found she was all too eager to gush about it to him. Sure, she had people who understood her passion for what she did, but she could never resist rambling about it to new people. To anyone that would listen, really. She loved what she did and she was proud of it, damnit!

" You started out at ten years old?! That's so young, did your parents have any objections to that decision? "

Dr. Maruki seemed shocked that she had started out so young, and she couldn't blame him. Ten years old was really young to start trying to be an idol, but Evie had known what she wanted to do with her life for at least a few years before that point so it wasn't a hard decision to make. Him bringing up her parents made her frown, however, because they had initially been completely against the idea.

" Yeah, they uh….they did, at first. They thought I was too young to be getting into that line of business, but eventually I managed to convince them to sign me up for an Actors School as a start. It was kind of like a prep school, ya know? I went to it after school every day except Sundays, and then I had to go home and do homework every night until like, 3am! "

She said it with a laugh, as though living that kind of busy life as a child had been something fun instead of unhealthy, as most people would probably tell her.

" That's probably why I'm so short, haha! I didn't get much sleep growing up. "

Again, it's said with a laugh, but her smile died down once she realized Dr. Maruki was looking at her with a somewhat serious expression. She realized she may have sounded a little crazy, to be laughing about having such a strict schedule even as a kid, but to her, it had been normal right from the start. Still, she found herself blushing in embarrassment, fearing that the doctor might be judging her now. That fear was squashed, however, when he finally spoke.

" I can see why being forced into this hiatus has been so hard for you, Evie. You've clearly been passionate from a very young age, and it must be too much to bear to have that passion frowned upon like this. "

He was agreeing with her? Really? Even she had to admit that it seemed strange that he was agreeing with her, though considering the fact she wasn't one to have healthy habits in the first place, it wasn't off putting for him to agree with her. Not at all. Somehow, it made her feel warm inside, like someone was finally understanding her and why she did what she did! Maybe she could actually start to confide in him her frustrations about how people treated her work ethic.

" However, I don't think it's a good thing to be as busy as you like to be. It can be really bad for your health, both mentally and physically, to not get enough sleep. Or to work yourself to the brink of exhaustion on the daily. I think we should start working on forming newer, healthier habits for you, Evie. "

Whatever warmth she had felt for him in her chest disappeared immediately, and she had to fight to keep her expression from morphing into one of offense. She'd be the first to admit she had unhealthy habits, but it had worked for her for over ten years, and she didn't see it not working for her for the foreseeable future. Therefore, why change them?

" ….with all due respect, Doctor, I don't really think I'm doing anything wrong… "

Her voice was quiet as she spoke, an underlying hint of anger in her words as she clenching her hands into fists in below her knees. He sighed softly at her response, leaning back and clasping his hands in front of him.

" I know it may seem like that to you, but from everyone else outside looking in, you're a mess. Remember, Evie, I'm here to help you, and I promise I'm not trying to hurt you by pointing this out to you. Some people often times don't realize that the habits they have may be unhealthy, and that's okay! That's why I'm here, to help you realize that and then help you work on developing healthier habits. "

Evelyn grimaced at his words, not able to find it in her to actually deny what he was saying. To think, she'd planned on telling him the good news her manager had given her just this morning. Now, she felt like it would be pointless, because surely her manager would go back on his word anyway. She knew Dr. Maruki wasn't going to breach the confidentiality of their sessions, as far as she knew at least, but she had the sinking suspicion that word would get back to her manager somehow, someway. The fact she hadn't been eating much was reason alone for him to go back on his word. Letting out a pained sigh, she lowered her legs back down to the floor, her bare feet touching the carpet as she looked down at her hands in frustration.

" I was gonna tell you, actually, that my manager said….he said I could start going back to schedules if I seemed okay by our 9th session….guess that isn't gonna happen now, huh…. "

Silence then ensued for a few minutes, tension filling the air as she continued to look down and he seemed to be trying to find what to say to her.

" I see…well, would it make you happy if you were able to go back to your schedules? "

The question seemed innocent enough, though she had a gut feeling there was something else hidden within his question. Something like a double edged sword, perhaps. She could only shake her head in reply, however, her gaze still downcast.

" I mean, I'd say yes but…what does it matter? My manager won't let me come back until he thinks I'm okay, and clearly you don't think I'm okay. "

" That may be, but if you going back to your schedules would make you happy, I'd strongly advocate for that to happen for you. We can strike a deal with your manager, make it so you would keep seeing me even once you go back. Do you think that would work for you? "

She was going to tell him no, that wouldn't work, but she caught herself before she could say that aloud. Actually, it wasn't a bad idea, but she was so certain her manager wouldn't accept it, and so she was already setting herself up to be disappointed. Still, it couldn't hurt to try, could it?

" We could try that, but… "

Hesitation flickered in her eyes as she finally looked up, capturing his eyes with her own. Both of their eyes were brown, she noted, though hers were a darker brown than his. For some reason, making eye contact with him made her blush, and she quickly looked away, artificially coughing into her hand as a way to hide the sudden awkwardness she felt.

" If you think that'd work, we can try it, but I don't have high hopes…"

A loud beeping sounded off suddenly, Dr. Maruki's damn phone going off to alert them that her time with him was up. This was the fifth time she had seen him, and it still somehow managed to scare her every time. She would become so engrossed in their conversations that she never noticed how quickly the time went by during their sessions. Sighing once again, she stood up, slipping her sandals back on and gathering her bag.

" Evie, please just try to keep in mind I'm trying to help you. It may be hard right now, but I promise I'll help make things better for you. "

She couldn't bring herself to look at him as she replied, her voice monotonous in tone. " I know, and I appreciate it. Thank you for your time, see you next week Dr. Maruki. "

Before he could say anything else, she left through the door of his office and wasted no time in leaving the building. Fuck this, fuck everything, fuck him and fuck my stupid, god damn manager! These thoughts would circle in her head as she drove back to her home, somehow managing to not get into a wreck despite her frustration. Driving under the influence of such feelings was never a good idea, after all.

. . .

Evelyn spent her time once she had gotten home fiddling around with a new music making program she'd heard about recently. Hours were spent simply messing around, learning how the program worked, and eventually, making the instrumental to a song. Just as she was about to set up her microphone to record vocals for it, it hit her that her brother was supposed to be coming over soon. Shit! She'd completely forgotten about it, having lost track of time.

Scrambling out of the chair in front of her desk, she rushed to make herself presentable, as she was certain she looked tired. Quickly washing her face and then running to the kitchen to down an ice cold soda, she checked her phone as the sound of an electronic jingle came from it.

Sorry sis, something came up, can't come over tonight. I'll make it up to you, promise!

Her heart dropped and the smile that had appeared on her face at seeing he had texted her fell from her face. Of course, of course this would happen when she was already in a low place that day. Her session had been tense, ending on a low note, and now the only thing she had to look forward to that day was gone. She tried to be understanding, to not let the frustration overwhelm her, but it was a pointless effort in the end. She wouldn't hold it against him, she couldn't, she loved him too much to be genuinely angry with him. He'd been coming over as often as he could, but she knew that he was making friends and that should make her happy. It did, it really did! At the same time though, she felt like she was being left behind.

Roughly jamming her phone into the pocket in her leggings, she put on some sneakers and left her home, deciding she needed to let off some pent-up frustration that had been building since her appointment with Dr. Maruki. Mementos would be the perfect place to do so, and so she practically ran to where she needed to be to activate the nav. Out of breath already, she only became even more frustrated, her mind clouding over with the feeling as she entered the Metaverse. She wasn't thinking straight at all, and she knew this, but she did nothing to stop this from happening and instead quickly made her way to a deeper level of the underground subway. Mindlessly killing shadows, no particular targets in mind, short screams of anger would leave her mouth as she went on her killing spree. Life just wasn't fair, and she couldn't help the tears that trailed down her face as she used her dagger to pierce through a particularly tough shadow. Why couldn't everyone just leave her alone and let her do what she wanted? She just wanted to sing and dance, she just wanted to make people happy with her performances, so why were so many people trying to keep her from doing that?

The last shadow in the area was dispatched by her hand, but just as it had vanished, exhaustion overcame her like a ton of bricks landing on her head. Dropping to the ground a panting, sweaty mess, her hair disheveled in the ugliest of ways, the dagger fell out of her hand and clattered to the ground. The sound of it loud and echoing through the now silent pathways that went in any direction one could think of. She laid there on the train tracks for a moment, before foot steps began echoing in the distance. Her eyes widened, her body shooting up into a crouch through pure adrenaline alone as she frantically looked around for the source of the foot steps. It didn't take long to notice the dark outline of a figure coming down the same pathway she was on, but they were too far away for her to know who it might be besides the fact that they seemed human shaped. That did little to quell the terror coursing through her veins, however, and she wasted no time in running away as fast as her legs could carry her.

Making it to the entrance of the place in record time, she had to pause and catch her breath for at least a minute. Her lungs felt like they were on fire, and it seemed her legs could give out on her at any second. Still, she had to flee, there was no way she could allow anyone to get close enough to see her here. Her mask would only do so much to hide her identity after all; she had very recognizable eyes. Not to mention, whoever it was that was here with her, they might try to track her down if they got close enough to get a general description of her appearance. Her whole life would be ruined if she was ever found to have done the things she'd done. Namely, the shadows she had killed that then subsequently caused psychotic breakdowns in people. It was always people she considered to be "bad", or in other terms, criminals.

Of course she believed she was doing a good deed by getting rid of these people who did nothing but bring misery unto other peoples lives, but she was also very aware that she could still get in trouble for carrying out such acts. Vigilantism it was called, which was normally against the law, and regardless of the victims being criminals, could land her in prison for a very long time. This was such a huge fear of hers, she often found herself wondering why she had started doing it in the first place. Why she continued to do it despite her fear of being caught. She knew she couldn't be alone when it came to the powers she had, but the near encounter she'd just had was nearly enough to scare her straight. She'd never been almost caught like that before, and it felt like she'd had a brush with death.

Re-appearing in the real world, she had to force her body to get up and run back to her home, wherein she collapsed as soon as her front door was slammed shut. Falling down in front of it, she started to cry, the adrenaline from the fear she'd experienced overwhelming her and causing a near panic attack. Somehow, she managed to keep it from getting to that point, but her body had other plans anyway. She was only able to cry for a little bit before her body forced itself to shut down, her consciousness abruptly fading into darkness as she passed out against the door. The last thought to cross her mind before it all went black was chilling, to say the least. What have I done…?