Lupine
Disclaimer: I do not own Haikyuu!.
Warnings: Hurt/Comfort, Drama
Pairings: Hinata x Bokuto, Bokuto x Akaashi, Akaashi x Kuroo, Hinata x Kozume, Hinata x Miya Atsumu, Hinata x Miya Osamu, Hinata x Miya Atsumu x Miya Osamu, Haiba x Yaku, Kozume x Kuroo, Kuroo x Tsukishima, Kuroo x Bokuto, Kuroo x Akaashi x Bokuto, Sugawara x Sawamura, Iwaizumi x Oikawa, Sugawara x Sawamura x Iwaizumi x Oikawa, Oikawa x Hinata
Plot: Akaashi and Sugawara visit the fertility clinic. Oikawa finishes his painting.
Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics
Ch 14: Apprehension
Sugawara hunched over the toilet again, throwing up what little he had consumed for breakfast, wiping his mouth shakily and blinking back tears, reaching up to flush the toilet before closing the lid quietly. Surely it was anxiety making him sick, surely there was nothing more to it. It must be the stress of his current situation, having to handle coming to terms with Oikawa's inevitable and gradually approaching death.
He had avoided talking about his symptoms with any of his partners, but he knew Sawamura could tell something was wrong. It was likely that due to his frequent vomiting his anxiety medication was being tossed up as well, which wasn't helping alleviate his symptoms as effectively as it otherwise would have. He closed his eyes, resting his forehead against his arm and groaning softly, wrapping his other arm around his churning stomach.
Oikawa's symptoms had started out just like this. He had waited, certain that nothing was wrong, and by the time they had realized how serious his condition had become there was little the doctors could do to help ease his pain, and absolutely nothing that could be done to stop it.
He was so young. He was going to die so young.
Sugawara was terrified there was something wrong with him, something beyond nausea caused by anxiety. He denied the possibility stubbornly, but as the weeks bled together and his symptoms only grew worse and he started to lose weight, he knew he had to speak to someone about it.
He didn't want to tell his partners, they had enough to worry about without fretting over him unnecessarily. He would be ashamed if he visited the doctor only to discover there was absolutely nothing wrong with him. He couldn't imagine it, worrying and upsetting his partners for no reason. They were already dealing with their own mental health, stressed beyond their limits about losing Oikawa. His personal mental health had a bad habit of spiraling on his low days, and his anxiety and apprehension only made their current situation that much worse. Death was on his mind constantly, an unshakable fear that had latched onto him and now blatantly refused to let go.
He gradually pushed himself up onto his feet, going to the sink and turning on the faucet, splashing his face with cold water. He looked at his reflection in the mirror, his pale cheeks, his creased brow, the frown turning down his lips.
What if he was dying, too? What if he was dying, just like Oikawa.
He clenched his teeth, growling softly in frustration, giving himself a little slap and telling himself to snap out of it.
Go to the doctor. You need to find out if something is wrong.
Don't go to the doctor, don't waste time and money on unnecessary tests. There's nothing wrong with you.
He battled against the inner voices weighing their opinions relentlessly within his mind, clicking his tongue irritably and stepping over to the bathroom door, opening it and gasping softly when he realized Akaashi was standing on the other side, the dark-haired omega watching him quietly, as if he had been waiting for his roommate to emerge.
"Keiji. Is everything alright?" Sugawara asked, wrapping his arms around himself and offering the other omega a soft smile, Akaashi watching him quietly for a few moments longer before letting out a soft breath.
"How long have you been sick?" Akaashi asked quietly, and Sugawara immediately ducked back his ears.
"It's nothing, breakfast must have not settled right for me this morning." He offered Akaashi a reassuring smile, his ears twitching lightly as he glanced past his roommate to look for his bonded, noting the two Alphas that shared their household were currently absent.
"Koushi. Look at me."
Sugawara frowned a little, tilting one of his ears to the side and meeting Akaashi's eyes gingerly, the other omega watching him silently for a few moments before reaching out to him, petting over his upper arm, cupping his shoulder and exhaling quietly.
"I was thinking we should get out of the house for a bit today. I have an appointment at the fertility clinic this afternoon. Perhaps we could grab something light for lunch after? Soup and salad?"
Sugawara's features smoothed, and he nodded while perking his ears towards his companion, replying softly, "That sounds nice, Keiji. I'd like that very much."
Akaashi nodded and offered his hand, Sugawara lacing their fingers and allowing the other omega to tug him into the living room, sitting down on the couch together and reclining against one another lightly.
"I'm nervous." Akaashi admitted quietly, reaching down and petting over his navel absently. "I haven't really been feeling like myself for the past few weeks. I'm not sure if it has something to do with Bokuto re-entering my life, or if the injections are starting to do more harm than good." He worried his lip, his dark blue irises reflecting the sunlight flitting down through the skylights. "What happens if I can't get pregnant? What happens if I can never give Tetsurou a baby? I know how much he wants children. I want to give that to him, I want us to have a family. I want to raise pups."
Sugawara sighed, nodding and patting Akaashi's hand gently, squeezing his fingers and leaning a little closer, searching his deep blue eyes. "I know how much you want this, Keiji. Be patient with yourself. I'm certain you and Tetsu will be gifted with pups." He purred softly, nuzzling Akaashi's cheek and whispering reassuringly, "You're going to be amazing parents. I can't wait to see your beautiful babies. I can just imagine them, dark hair and dark eyes, a head full of curls!"
Akaashi laughed and blushed faintly, nodding and resting his head on Sugawara's shoulder, letting out a soft sigh. "I think about that often too, pups with hazel eyes like Tetsurou's, or blue eyes like mine. They'll be so pretty, won't they Koushi? Our pups will be absolutely darling."
The omegas perked their ears towards the foyer once they heard voices echoing from the direction of the front door, warm laughter greeting their ears as Kuroo and Sawamura padded into the townhouse, Kuroo approaching them with a drink carrier in hand. He served up the coffees with a playful flourish, grinning and offering two of the cups to the awaiting omegas, leaning down to nuzzle between Akaashi's ears before stepping away, returning to his conversation with Sawamura. The other Alpha chuckled again, nodding his head while sorting through the bags he had been carrying, putting away various items in the cupboards and setting fresh fruits in the bowl on the kitchen table, Kuroo watching him with a wide grin while sipping at his coffee.
Sugawara traced his fingertips over the lip of his cup, thinking to himself for a few moments quietly before Akaashi drew his attention, the dark-haired omega asking softly, "Would it be alright to ask you to come with me to my appointment, Koushi? I would ask Tetsurou normally, but I know he and Daichi have plans with Hajime while Toru's painting. Shall we spend the afternoon together?"
Sugawara nodded, letting out a soft sigh and taking a tentative sip of his coffee, allowing the sounds of cheery laughter along with his roommate's presence and warmth to soothe him, his thoughts gradually quieting. He finished his coffee by the time Akaashi was ready to leave, and the omegas waited together at the corner for their cab, holding hands and waving to Kuroo and Sawamura before climbing into the back seat.
They chatted together during their ride to the clinic, and once they arrived downtown Sugawara was feeling more like himself, his stomach settled and his mood brightening as they stepped out into the sunshine.
Akaashi led him up the steps of the clinic, gesturing towards the little fountain beside the front doors and leaning closer to admire the fluffy goldfish, Sugawara grinning and taking a picture with his phone to show to Oikawa later. Akaashi allowed him to capture a few photos before taking Sugawara's hand and tugging him along with him gently, the pale omega looking around the lobby with interest, marveling at the pretty paintings hanging decoratively along the soft pink walls.
They didn't wait long before Akaashi was called back for his appointment, the doctor's assistant greeting them warmly, Akaashi introducing Sugawara as they made their way to the doctor's office, the assistant directing Akaashi to take a seat on the padded examination table.
The beta took Akaashi's temperature and checked his heart rate before making note of it in the chart sitting nearby, stepping out of the room with a friendly smile and leaving the omegas to themselves, Sugawara letting out a soft breath shakily. Akaashi perked his ears towards him, sliding off of the table and sitting down at his side, searching Sugawara's eyes.
The other omega dipped back his ears a bit, hugging his stomach once more, reaching up with his other hand to press his fingers against his mouth, shaking his head and arching his brow. "I feel sick again." He mumbled quietly, Akaashi frowning and petting his hair gently, perking his ears towards the door as he heard footsteps walk by, listening to them fade again before returning his attention to his companion.
"Koushi?" Akaashi asked gently, watching his expression carefully, "You don't have to hide from me. You can tell me if something's wrong. Are you certain it's just something you ate? Or is there more to it than that?"
Sugawara's face scrunched up and he let out a soft sob, Akaashi hugging him and tugging him closer gently, Sugawara clinging to his shoulders and crying as he whispered, "I don't know. I don't know what's wrong with me. I feel sick all the time, I've felt sick for weeks." He sniffed and pulled back a bit, searching Akaashi's eyes. "I keep thinking it's my anxiety, but what if it's not? What if it's not?"
Akaashi frowned and started to speak, but there was a soft knock at the door and the doctor entered a moment later, the omega greeting them warmly before perking her ears towards Sugawara, closing the door and stepping closer carefully, reaching out and touching his hand lightly.
"There there, my dear. Whatever is the matter? Are you alright?"
Akaashi sighed softly, meeting his doctor's eyes. "This is my roommate, Sugawara Koushi. He's feeling sick today. He has been off and on all morning."
The doctor hummed and squeezed Sugawara's hand gently, perking her ears up a bit and asking softly, "Do you have a doctor you're seeing for your symptoms, dear? Would you like to talk to me about how you're feeling?"
Sugawara sniffed and wiped at his eyes, squeezing back her fingers lightly. "N-No. No, I'm sorry. I'm sure it's nothing. I don't mean to interrupt your appointment." He met Akaashi's eyes, shaking his head and sniffing again. "Really, everything's alright. I'm just being silly." He looked to the doctor, explaining hesitantly, "I have anxiety and depression. I have…" His breath hitched and he ducked his ears back again, "My partner is terminal. He's dying quickly, he...he only has about five months to live now. I'm certain that's why I've been feeling sick. I'm sure there's nothing actually wrong with me. I get in my head about everything, sometimes. It makes my anxiety worse."
The doctor listened quietly, nodding her understanding, "Alright dear, alright. Why don't I have a look at our favorite patient here, and while I'm working we can speak a bit more about how you're coping with your partner's illness. Does that sound alright to you?"
Sugawara arched his brow, glancing towards Akaashi, "Oh no, I...I don't want to distract you from your work with Keiji…"
"It's quite alright, dear. Sweet Keiji and I are always chatting about something or another while I'm performing an examination. You won't distract me, I can assure you." She smiled and gave Akaashi a little wink, returning her gaze to Sugawara and adding playfully, "I am a professional, after all! They pay me for competent multitasking!"
She stood back a bit, gesturing for Akaashi to return to his place on the examination table, humming softly to herself as she double-checked his vitals and then grabbed a stethoscope, listening quietly for a few moments before nodding reassuringly, patting Akaashi's shoulder and perking her ears towards Sugawara.
"Come now dear, don't be shy! You must tell me about your partner. How long have the two of you been together?"
Sugawara searched her eyes, glancing over to Akaashi hesitantly, the dark omega smiling and nodding, beckoning for him to speak. Sugawara blushed faintly and smiled fondly at the thought of Oikawa, and of Sawamura and Iwaizumi, taking a deep breath and perking his ears towards the doctor as he started to explain their relationships from the beginning.
As the appointment went on, the doctor listened quietly, directing Akaashi now and then but otherwise remaining silent. She had Akaashi settle back against the pillows at the head of the table as she drew a few vials of blood, and when her assistant came and took the blood away to the lab, the doctor finally focused completely on Sugawara. She slipped off her disposable gloves before placing them atop the counter, grabbing Akaashi's chart and reading through her notes before setting it aside once more, folding her hands neatly in her lap as she replied to what Sugawara had said before.
"Thank you for telling me about yourself. Thank you for sharing with me your history with your partners, and the feelings you've been experiencing. That being said, with the symptoms you've described experiencing recently, and the length of time you've known about Oikawa's illness...something still doesn't quite seem to be matching up just right."
Sugawara inhaled softly, ducking his ears back a bit, frowning and glancing towards Akaashi before asking hesitantly, "You don't think it's just...my nerves, my anxiety, my spiraling thoughts…?"
"I'm sure that's part of how you're feeling, but such a physical response so suddenly leads me to believe there may be another cause." She tilted her head to the side lightly, then asked gingerly, "I do not mean to ask you something that may make you feel uncomfortable, but I wonder if you have considered the possibility that you may in fact be pregnant?"
Sugawara blinked rapidly, heat searing up his spine and buzzing in the back of his skull, completely shocked at the doctor's sudden suggestion. "W-What? Pregnant? No, there's no way I-"
Akaashi inhaled softly as well, covering his mouth with his hand, his eyes wide as he thought about everything Sugawara had said. "Koushi. Koushi your symptoms started getting worse two months ago." He shook his head in disbelief, laughing and blushing while adding, "Morning sickness generally starts about six weeks into pregnancy. With that timeline, that means...you would have gotten pregnant around the first time we met Shouyou."
Sugawara shook his head again, still frowning, "What does Shouyou have to do with anything? I don't understand..."
Akaashi bit his lip, arching his brow a bit as he tried to explain. "The first time you met Shouyou was the same day that Toru met us at the boardwalk, and we all went shopping together. You remember, right? You told me that Toru was feeling well enough that night that the four of you, well you…"
A fierce blush crept across Sugawara's face, and he breathed out shakily, perking his ears towards the doctor as she giggled and smiled, nodding her head. "Well, my dears?" She picked up a small disposable cup, offering it to Sugawara cheerily. "There's a very easy way to find out!"
Sugawara took the cup from her fingertips, nodding and standing up from his seat, the doctor walking with him to the door and gesturing to the bathroom at the end of the hall, instructing him to leave the cup behind on the sink once he was done. He was still in disbelief as he returned to the room, finding Akaashi was waiting for him alone, the other omega reaching out to him and tugging him close eagerly, nuzzling Sugawara's cheek as he settled beside him atop the table, Akaashi holding his hand tightly.
"Oh Koushi. Koushi what if it's true? What if you're pregnant?" He combed Sugawara's bangs away from his forehead, nosing at his brow and pressing soft kisses against his cheeks. "What will you tell Daichi? Do you think he's the father?"
Sugawara blushed and shook his head, "I...I honestly don't know. We all...took turns with one another that night. We wanted to be sure Toru had a chance to experience us all, in case it was the last time he felt well enough to be intimate with all of us…"
They waited patiently for the doctor to return, and when she did so her assistant was at her side, the beta handing her several different copies of freshly printed paperwork and a new manila file, one with Sugawara's name on it, the doctor sitting down before them and propping their charts on her lap, opening Sugawara's first.
"Well, as I suspected, you are most certainly pregnant, Koushi."
Sugawara's breath caught in his throat, and Akaashi squealed happily, hiding his smile behind his hand, squeezing his roommate's fingers tightly.
"If I had to estimate, judging from your hormone levels, I would say you're roughly twelve weeks, which means we should be able to see something on an ultrasound now, should you like to take a look together while you're here."
"I'm pregnant?" Sugawara breathed out shakily, still in disbelief even after saying so out loud. "I'm pregnant? I can't believe I...I thought I might be dying. I had no idea that I-" He reached up and covered his face with his hands, sobbing in relief, Akaashi wrapping his arms around Sugawara and squeezing him gently, nosing at his ear while whispering calming reassurances, rubbing along his lower back gently.
The doctor and her assistant exchanged a glance, and she handed him Sugawara's chart before opening Akaashi's next, clearing her throat lightly to capture her patients' attentions. Akaashi kissed Sugawara's wet cheek before perking his ears towards her with a hint of nervousness, Sugawara clinging to his hand as he blinked back tears, sniffing quietly.
"Keiji, I want to let you know how proud I am of your progress. I can clearly see how dutifully you've been taking care of yourself. Your blood tests came back beautifully as expected, and I can see from your results you've been taking the supplements I prescribed to assist with boosting your injections, as well as sticking to your recommended diet. Your readings are impeccable, you are an ideal model of picturesque health, and I am happy to tell you that your patience and hard work has paid off."
"No." Akaashi whispered, shaking his head, his heart fluttering and he squeezed Sugawara's hand impossibly tight. "No, you're kidding. You're joking with me."
"About this, I am most certainly not." She smiled, laughing and nodding her head, her cheeks rosy and warm. "Congratulations, Keiji. You are pregnant. Approximately five weeks. I am so very, very happy for you."
Akaashi let out a sweet sound, something between a laugh and a happy sob, clinging to Sugawara tightly as the other omega congratulated him and hugged him excitedly, nuzzling into his neck with happy purrs. Akaashi tilted his face up, closing his eyes and crying quietly, letting out a soft breath and smiling, thinking of the way Kuroo's face would light up once he knew.
They clung to one another, sharing laughter and breathless, happy sobs, the doctor watching over them patiently, her assistant waiting nearby to assist with their upcoming ultrasounds.
-x-x-x-
"I need you to come sit down." Akaashi said calmly, gesturing to the couch, Kuroo perking his ears up curiously and stepping over to Akaashi, giving him a quick kiss before taking a seat, waiting for Sawamura and Iwaizumi to come join him. Sugawara was standing nearby, blushing faintly and staring at something cradled in his hands, a small series of pictures from what Kuroo could catch glimpses of, Sawamura sighing softly and drawing his attention as the other Alpha settled down beside him.
Iwaizumi was the last to approach, wiping sweat from his brow and taking a seat beside his partner, leaning in to nuzzle at Sawamura's jaw, the Alpha crooning softly and squeezing his fingers, glancing towards the renovations they'd been working on all morning. It was afternoon now, and Akaashi and Sugawara had just returned from Akaashi's appointment, the two omegas speaking to themselves quietly for a few moments before they laced fingers and turned their attention towards their loved ones on the couch, Akaashi meeting Kuroo's eyes and speaking first.
"I'm pregnant." He said softly, Kuroo's eyes widening as he shifted to stand from the couch, Akaashi holding out his hand to stop him, Kuroo ducking back his ears a bit but waiting patiently to see what else Akaashi had to say. "The doctor said about five weeks, so the ultrasound didn't really show much at all quite yet. I have another appointment for eight weeks, and I've made arrangements for Tetsurou to come with me, and Koushi as well."
Sawamura hummed and smiled, nodding his approval, Iwaizumi smiling fondly as well. "Congratulations, both of you." He looked to Kuroo at his side, patting his knee gently, Iwaizumi leaning closer to catch Kuroo's eyes as well.
"We're happy for you, Tetsu." Iwaizumi said gently, reaching out to touch Kuroo's arm, Sugawara clearing his throat softly and redirecting his partners' attentions, blushing brightly as he clung to the photographs in his hands.
"There's a reason I'll be joining Keiji. I'll be joining him from now on actually. I'll be visiting the clinic regularly now that we share the same doctor."
He arched his brow, biting his lip, exhaling shakily as tears gathered in his eyes.
"I've been...I've been keeping something from you. I've been feeling sick recently. I've been feeling sick for weeks now, actually. Over two months." He took a step forward, Sawamura reaching out and taking his hand, Sugawara offering him the pictures tentatively. "I thought I was sick, that I might have something like Toru, but...I was wrong. I had no idea, I didn't even think about the possibility, but it's true."
He took a moment to pause and breathe, exhaling a trembling breath and searching his mate's eyes, dipping back his ears nervously.
"I'm pregnant too. The doctor said I'm going on thirteen weeks." He pulled back his hand gently, allowing Sawamura to shakily look through the ultrasound pictures, Iwaizumi's eyes wide as he took one of the pictures and held it up close, examining the tiny details of the baby's fingers and toes.
Sugawara watched his partners quietly, pressing his hands over his mouth and waiting to see their reactions, Sawamura taking a long, deep breath and looking up to meet Sugawara's eyes. He didn't speak, he simply set aside the pictures carefully while rising to his feet, wrapping his arms tightly around the shivering omega and crooning softly to soothe his distress.
"We're gonna have a baby." He whispered gently, the faintest tones of laughter quivering in his voice. "We're gonna have a baby. Oh my god." He pulled back a bit, cupping Sugawara's face and searching his eyes, arching his brow a bit as he tried to read his expression, asking hesitantly, "Koushi? Sweetheart? Is this not something you wanted?"
The omega ducked back his ears a bit, tears glinting in his eyes as he whispered, "I don't know how we're going to do this. How are we going to handle this, when Toru-"
Iwaizumi stood up quietly, wrapping his arms around Sugawara and pulling him close, breathing softly against him for several long moments before kissing at his shoulder sweetly, cradling the back of Sugawara's head and whispering, "We are going to do this together. We are going to love this baby." He pulled back and searched Sugawara's eyes, his expression softening as he started to laugh quietly, "This is amazing. This is a beautiful gift." He combed through the omega's pale hair slowly, searching his eyes and urging gently, "Koushi, sweetheart. It's okay to be excited. It's okay to be happy about this! We're going to have a baby together!"
Sugawara sniffed a little, searching Iwaizumi then Sawamura's eyes, his ears perking up a bit, a shy smile slowly turning up the corners of his lips. "It's...it's a good thing? It's okay that I'm pregnant?"
"It's more than okay. Are you kidding? This is the most amazing thing that's ever happened to us!" Sawamura cheered, scooping Sugawara up and spinning him happily, the omega giggling and clinging to his shoulders tightly, Iwaizumi wrapping his arms around his waist from behind once his feet touched the ground again. The beta purred softly as he tugged Sugawara close, holding onto him tightly and petting over his stomach, Sugawara looking back over his shoulder at him fondly while Iwaizumi nosed at his cheek.
"His morning sickness has been taking quite the toll on him," Akaashi started amidst their happy laughter, "The doctor said he's underweight, so we're going to need to find some new recipes to cook for him to make sure he can put that weight back on, and then some!" He watched Sugawara with his excited partners, smiling softly to himself and propping a hand on his hip, continuing on. "We were thinking about going out to lunch together, but we decided to come home and tell you all the good news before heading out to eat. Is everyone alright with soups and salads?"
Kuroo sighed softly to himself while finally pushing himself up from the couch, stepping over to Akaashi and wrapping his arms around his slim waist, holding him gently, breathing softly against his dark hair. "Yeah, babe. Soups and salads sound good." He pet over Akaashi's navel lightly, adding, "Installing recessed bookshelves and custom lighting is a hell of a lot of work. Not sure any of us could stand to slave away the rest of the afternoon on an overly full stomach."
"Soup sounds good." Iwaizumi agreed, doting on Sugawara for a moment longer before retrieving his phone from his pocket, perking his ears towards the omegas before asking curiously, "Have you already tried texting Toru to see if he will meet us for lunch?"
"No, not yet. We came home first." Akaashi replied, Sugawara humming and nodding, retrieving his phone from his pocket as well.
"We should try to get ahold of everyone, and all go out for a celebration!" Sugawara cheered, stepping over to Akaashi's side and taking his hand excitedly. "You're finally pregnant! And we have a surprise baby coming! I can't believe it, what are the odds of us getting pregnant at the same time? Our little ones will only be a few weeks apart!"
Akaashi laughed brightly, nodding and squeezing Sugawara's fingers lightly, watching as Sugawara sent Oikawa a text, thinking for a moment before looking towards Kuroo, nodding and smiling as he asked, "You're thinking of inviting Kozume, right? Should I call Koutarou and Shouyou?"
"Yeah." Kuroo smiled, laughing merrily and leaning close to give Akaashi a kiss, lacing their fingers lightly. "I'll call Tsukki too, and ask if he wants to come by with Yama. The more the merrier!" He reached for his phone, turning away and padding towards the front door for relative privacy while Sugawara purred happily at Akaashi's other side, Sawamura and Iwaizumi stepping closer to shelter the omegas between them.
It had been unexpected, but they were all overjoyed at the knowledge that soon they would start their families together. Once their friends had all gathered, they would announce their newly expected arrivals. The pack they surrounded themselves with would be there to greet their pups once they finally entered the world.
-x-x-x-
Oikawa sighed softly as he set his brush aside, backing away from the large painting he had been working on for the past several months, admiring his work before taking a few deep breaths, coughing roughly against his hand. He ignored the blood that dusted his pale skin, wiping it away on his dark shirt before carefully shifting the painting from his easel, carrying it to the main room of the studio and setting it against the right wall amongst his other finished paintings.
He took a few steps back, admiring the painting from several different angles before deeming it satisfactory, smiling and settling down on the floor cross-legged before it, resting his face against his hand, allowing himself to relax for the first time in as long as he could remember.
He had been worried over the past few weeks as his health started to decline he wouldn't have the strength to finish it.
He hummed softly, reaching out to brush his fingertips against the air, tracing the curve of his bonded's face, searching his olive-green eyes, feeling his chest twisting with longing. He looked to Sawamura next, taking in the features of his strong jaw and broad shoulders, thinking of the gentle Alpha's overwhelming kindness and patience and understanding. He traced over his features for a moment longer before shifting his gaze to Sugawara, leaning a little closer, remembering the omega's loving touch.
"Goodbye." He whispered, smiling fondly back at them, his eyes settling on the image of himself standing between them, the only self-portrait he had ever managed to paint of himself.
He was smiling happily, his fingers laced with Iwaizumi's and Sugawara's, Sawamura leaning close to wrap his arm around the betas' shoulders while holding his mate's hand. The four of them together, huddled close, sharing smiles and bright laughter. It reminded him of the years he had lived among them, sharing their love, living their lives with them. It reminded him of the precious life he had lived before, his childhood, his adolescence, his high school and college years. All the things he had learned in his lifetime, the way his thoughts and emotions had changed and grown.
He smiled to himself, laughing fondly, looking between the smiling faces of his partners once again.
"Goodbye, my sweet ones. Goodbye, my precious, dearest friends." He reached out to them, but he dared not touch them and risk smudging the still drying paint. "I love you. I will miss you. I hope you can forgive me for this."
He pushed himself up to his feet, and set about readying the studio in the way he had imagined during the weeks before. He had written them all letters, each of his partners along with his closest friends. A letter for Kuroo, a letter for Akaashi, and a letter for Hinata. He placed them side by side along the edges of the display shelf where the portrait was resting, just beside the frame he had picked out for the painting once it had completely dried. Hinata's and Akaashi's portraits were there as well, along with his camera and a multitude of photographs. There were several flash drives filled with digital copies of every picture he had ever taken, as well as folders of music he had selected for his partners, and playlists he had gifted to his cherished friends.
"I hope you like them." He whispered to himself, tracing the edges of the letters fondly. "I hope you remember me as I was. I hope you have no regrets."
He stepped away from the display shelf and returned to his office, cleaning up his painting supplies and methodically washing his palette and brushes, setting them aside to dry before clearing off his desk. He went to the door to his office, taping a note to the outside and closing the door quietly, returning to his desk and settling down in his chair, letting out a trembling sigh. Once everything was tucked away, and he had run his checklist over and over in his mind to ensure he hadn't missed a single step, he withdrew the photo from the desk drawer, along with the gun resting against the back corner. He set them both before him side by side, thinking long and hard about what he wanted to do.
He picked up the photograph, whispering aloud to his partners softly.
"I love you so, so much. I don't want you to think this is your fault, or that there was something you could have done or said to stop this from happening. This is my decision. I've thought about it over and over again, and now-" He coughed roughly as a sudden spasm wrecked through him, wrapping his arm around his middle as pain flared through his core, flecks of bright blood splattered across the back of his hand as he breathed in shakily, licking over his trembling lips. He chuckled softly, shaking his head, blinking down at the photograph with teary eyes. "Anyway, I'm sorry for causing you pain. I'm sorry for not telling you any of this face to face. I've explained it all in my letters. I just hope some day you can understand. This is the end. All that's left is suffering and death."
He pressed the photograph to his chest, holding it over his heart, thinking for a few moments before nodding his head. He reached over, he took the gun in his hand, lifting it into the most effective position it could possibly be. He looked down at the picture one last time, then he closed his eyes, and fired a single shot.
-x-x-x-
Hinata giggled excitedly as he ran towards the door of the studio, Kozume trailing behind him, Bokuto lingering beside the car next to Kuroo before the Alphas turned and started towards the warehouse as well.
"I'm so excited we're all getting together to have a party! You seriously don't know what all the fuss is about? Is it someone's birthday?" He tugged open the sliding metal door, revealing the brightly lit studio inside, Kozume shrugging lightly and peering inside as well, letting out a soft sound of awe as he cast his eyes around the expansive studio, perking his ears towards the left wall where Hinata was running around, searching for Oikawa.
"Toru! Toru where are you!" Hinata hummed excitedly to himself as he ducked into the giant closet of costumes, peering through the rows of creations and frowning a little as he discovered the beta he was searching for was not there. He exited the closet a moment later, starting towards the opposite side of the studio, approaching the door to Oikawa's office and perking his ears towards a large painting nearby, gasping out excitedly and stepping closer to it, leaning in to examine the swirls of fresh paint. "Oh wow! It turned out beautifully!" He wrinkled his nose and the acrid scent of the wet oil paint before gingerly withdrawing, turning to look back at Kozume as he heard his footsteps approaching, fishing his phone from his pocket and checking his messages again.
"He isn't here?" Kozume asked, perking his ears towards the various paintings nearby, marveling at the large painting sitting in the middle of the display before his eyes drifted to the smaller canvases nearby. He stepped closer to the display, letting out a soft sound of awe as he examined a brilliant portrait of Hinata, his dazzling smile captured perfectly in a series of highlights and golden paint. He inhaled softly, blown away at the attention to detail, the care of each delicate brushstroke, the way Hinata's eyes seemed to sparkle when the lights reflected off of the painting. "Amazing…"
Kuroo and Bokuto were lingering in the entryway of the studio, still chatting back and forth merrily about the gathering they were heading to as soon as they located Oikawa, Bokuto perking his ears towards Hinata's voice as the omega sighed softly, "I don't understand, where else could he be? I thought for sure he would be here painting." He flicked through his messages for a moment longer before deciding to call Oikawa, lifting his phone to his ear and waiting for the line to ring, perking his ears towards the closed door of the office when he heard Oikawa's phone chiming inside, laughing to himself and waiting to see if the beta would answer as he stepped closer, reaching out for the handle of the door. "Toru, silly! Did you not hear me before? Are you working on a new project or something? Everyone's been trying to-"
He froze where he was, and his breath hitched almost painfully, his phone falling from his hand and shattering loudly against the floor. Kozume's head jerked up and he went to Hinata's side immediately, realizing the omega was staring into the office with a horrified expression across his face, Kozume looking over his shoulder in confusion and catching a glimpse of what was inside before gasping and wrapping his arms around Hinata, holding the omega's face tightly against his neck while crying out desperately, "Don't look, Shouyou! Oh my god don't look!" He choked back his gag reflex, ushering Hinata away from the door, but the omega had gone limp against his arms, his knees giving out, forcing Kozume to carry him. Kuroo and Bokuto were already running across the studio, Kozume shoving Hinata into Bokuto's arms while barking out quickly, "Take him outside! Take him outside, now Koutarou!"
Bokuto's ears were tucked back, his brow arched with concern as he glanced towards the office nearby, "What? What's happening, I-"
Hinata turned and started heaving, Bokuto cursing softly and picking him up, carrying him hurriedly outside and talking to him quietly, trying to calm him down, the scent of Hinata's distress souring the air to the point of discomfort, affecting everyone around him.
Kozume couldn't look back, closing his eyes and pressing his hands over his face, whimpering and trying to keep his balance, calling out to Kuroo shakily, "Tetsurou. Tetsurou we have to call the police. We have to-"
"Oh, Toru. Oh no, sweetheart." Kuroo whispered sadly, stepping into the office slowly, taking care not to step in the blood pooled across the floor as he reached out and took Oikawa's hand. He knelt beside him, squeezing his fingers tightly, pressing his forehead to the back of Oikawa's hand, starting to weep softly. The tips of Oikawa's fingertips were just starting to turn cold.
Kozume couldn't enter the office, not after the glimpse of what he had seen, and so he took his phone in his hands and shakily dialed the emergency line for the city, informing the police of what they had discovered within the warehouse.
Kuroo didn't move from his spot until he heard sirens in the distance, stepping out of the office quietly and walking past Kozume, taking his hand and tugging him towards the entrance of the studio. Kozume walked alongside him, watching him silently with his ears ducked back, tears still coursing down Kuroo's flushed cheeks and dripping from his clenched jaw slowly.
Bokuto was whispering to Hinata while the omega hid against his neck, not moving or speaking, just breathing softly against his Alpha's throat to immerse himself in his scent. Several paramedics rushed by, one pausing beside Hinata briefly to check on him, Bokuto coaxing Hinata to try to speak with the parametric, the omega blinking slowly but not responding, the beta checking his vitals and shining a light in his eyes before speaking with Bokuto softly, leaving them a moment later to return to the ambulance nearby.
Kuroo didn't speak as they walked to Bokuto and Hinata's side, Kozume stepping closer to Hinata and wrapping his arms around him slowly, carefully pulling the omega closer and guiding Hinata's face against his neck. Hinata didn't respond for a few long moments, still in shock over what he had seen, but gradually he shifted his arms up to grasp at the back of Kozume's hoodie, clinging to him tightly as his shoulders started to shake and a broken wail escaped him, the beta holding him gently while he sobbed and cried out in agony against his throat.
Kuroo was quiet, staring off into the distance, still trying to process what had happened, what he needed to do. Bokuto reached out to him, the dark-haired Alpha blinking slowly and meeting his eyes, whispering softly, "I have to...call Keiji..."
"What did you see?" Bokuto asked, Kuroo shaking his head, reaching out to grasp onto the other Alpha's shoulder and trying to steady himself, his knees feeling weak.
"Toru he…" He closed his eyes, shaking his head in disbelief, tugging his phone from his pocket as he breathed out shakily, "Toru killed himself."
-x-x-x-
Akaashi perked his ears up at the sound of his phone, laughing back and forth with Sugawara for a moment before answering, his laughter sweet and melodic as he asked cheerily, "Are you on your way now? Was Toru still working on his painting?"
Sugawara sighed and nuzzled against Sawamura's neck, the Alpha crooning softly while petting over his stomach, Iwaizumi speaking back and forth with the waitress who was readying their tables. The betas exchanged friendly chatter for a few moments before the waitress stepped away, Iwaizumi tilting his ears towards the sound of Akaashi's voice, noting the change in his tone.
"What? What do you mean? What's going on?"
"Keiji? What is it?" Sugawara asked softly, Sawamura perking his ears up as well to listen, Akaashi shaking his head and listening to Kuroo's voice carefully, frowning a little and shaking his head again.
"No, no I don't understand. We're already at the restaurant, we have tables reserved, why would we-"
He listened for a moment longer, and his expression completely changed, his brow arching as he slapped a hand against his mouth, tears flooding his eyes, the omega immediately looking to Iwaizumi, quickly shaking his head.
"No. He can't be, he can't-"
"Give me the phone." Iwaizumi said, crossing the floor quickly to reach Akaashi's side, taking the phone and pressing it to his ear, asking Kuroo to repeat what he had just said. Kuroo's voice was hesitant, Iwaizumi growling out angrily, "Damn it, Tetsurou. Tell me now! What is going on?"
Akaashi had turned away, his shoulders trembling, and after a few moments Iwaizumi let out a pained sob, clenching his fist against his chest, collapsing onto his knees and clinging to the phone desperately.
He couldn't catch his breath as he listened to Kuroo speak, letting out broken, choked gasps of air as he growled vehemently, "You're lying. You're a liar! Toru would never do that! He would never!"
"I'm so sorry!" Akaashi sobbed, turning and wrapping his arms around Sugawara, the confused omega hugging his companion back gently, Sawamura slowly ducking back his ears.
Iwaizumi was on the floor, pounding his fist against the polished wood until his knuckles split and started to bleed, Sawamura going to him and tugging him against his chest, pinning his arms so he couldn't lash out and hurt himself for anyone around him, the waitresses surrounding them whispering back and forth in hushed tones, standing back to give them some privacy.
Sugawara still didn't understand, looking between his distraught partners and the omega clinging to him tightly, arching his brow and whispering worriedly, "What is it, Keiji? What did he say to you? What happened to Toru?"
"Oh." Akaashi whimpered softly, drawing back and meeting Sugawara's eyes, holding his face gently and pressing their foreheads together, sniffing and trying to breathe through his tears as he whispered gently, "I'm so, so sorry Koushi. I'm so sorry, but Toru...he's…" His brow pinched, and he let out a shuddering sob. "...Toru's gone."
Thanks for reading! More to come!
