Lupine
Disclaimer: I do not own Haikyuu!.
Warnings: Hurt/Comfort, Drama
Pairings: Hinata x Bokuto, Bokuto x Akaashi, Akaashi x Kuroo, Hinata x Kozume, Hinata x Miya Atsumu, Hinata x Miya Osamu, Hinata x Miya Atsumu x Miya Osamu, Haiba x Yaku, Kozume x Kuroo, Kuroo x Tsukishima, Kuroo x Bokuto, Kuroo x Akaashi x Bokuto, Sugawara x Sawamura, Iwaizumi x Oikawa, Sugawara x Sawamura x Iwaizumi x Oikawa, Oikawa x Hinata
Plot: Sugawara learns his baby's gender. Hinata finds a way to express himself through art.
Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics
Ch 15: Aftermath
Sugawara stepped into the studio hesitantly, perking his ears towards the office at the back of the room, noting the police tape sealing it shut. There were officers still outside, speaking with Bokuto and Kuroo, Kozume and Hinata sitting together quietly beside one of the ambulances, Iwaizumi and Sawamura going over everything with the paramedics who had examined Oikawa's body.
Akaashi was at his side a moment later, taking Sugawara's hand and tugging him back outside gently, whispering softly, "Come sit with me, Koushi. You don't want to be in here."
"But I do want to be. Toru is here." Sugawara said, taking another step into the studio and letting go of Akaashi's hand, the dark-headed omega watching over him worriedly, trailing quietly behind him.
"Toru isn't here, Koushi." Akaashi whispered, trying to reach out and take his companion's hand once again. "Sweetheart? Do you hear me? He isn't here, Koushi. Toru is…" He let out a shuddering breath, hugging himself as he looked around the studio, unable to shake the feeling of death lingering in the air.
Sugawara stood at the center of the studio, perking his ears towards the carefully angled lighting surrounding the platform where Oikawa captured his photoshoots, twisting his ears slightly towards the standing closet nearby before turning to look at the right wall of the studio, stepping closer to the paintings lining the wall.
"Koushi?" Akaashi whispered gently, reaching out and taking his wrist, halting his steps. "Sweetheart, can you look at me? Koushi, please. You're scaring me…"
"He's here. He's right here." Sugawara whispered, tugging Akaashi's hand gently and lacing their fingers, guiding the other omega closer to the large painting resting in the middle of the display, Akaashi perking his ears towards the group portrait, breathless with emotion. "Look see? I told you he would be here. When he isn't with us, Toru is always at his studio." He smiled and reached out towards the painting, touching the edges of the canvas with his fingertips, smudging a bit of paint along the top left corner. His voice trembled as he let out a soft laugh, pulling back his hand and smearing the paint between his fingertips, curling in on himself as he wept.
"Oh, Koushi." Akaashi whispered, going down on his knees beside him, wrapping his arms around Sugawara's shoulders and perking his ears towards the letters sitting nearby, each with one of their names written across the front in delicate, beautiful penmanship. Oikawa had thought about this carefully, he had taken the time to ensure his painting was finished and each of these letters were written. Akaashi glanced towards the door to his office, his eyes focusing on the note that was taped to the front of the door, just above the handle so it was easy to see.
Do not open this door.
He had tried to warn them, he had tried to make sure he wouldn't be seen like that by anyone, especially not his partners. Akaashi shivered and covered his mouth, imagining what Hinata must have seen, slowly drawing Sugawara up from the floor and guiding him gently out of the studio, stepping out into the chaos of police and paramedics once more.
Iwaizumi was arguing with one of the medical examiners, Sawamura pushing him back and keeping him at a distance, the omega who had been speaking with them watching them both quietly, dipping her ears back a bit and giving Sawamura a little nod before carefully adjusting the sheets resting over Oikawa's body.
Akaashi glanced away quickly, not wanting to think about the hints of blood soaking through the layers of sheets. He didn't want to think about the damage that had been done, about the closed casket they would have at his funeral. None of them would ever see Oikawa's beautiful face ever again. At least, not outside of fragments of memory, captured in photographs and art. Those things Oikawa had left behind for them. That was how he wanted to be remembered. The knowledge that all of this had been planned extensively weighed heavily on Akaashi's heart, twisting his gut and leaving a hollow sensation behind.
Oikawa had never told any of them he was considering killing himself before his disease claimed him.
Akaashi wondered fleetingly if there was something he could have done to prevent this from happening, but he liked to think he knew Oikawa well enough in the years they had been friends to understand the beta had wanted this for all of them. He took the least painful way out, for both himself, and his partners. It was quick. Over in an instant. The only difference was a few dwindling, unbearably painful months for all of them.
Akaashi didn't want to think about the concept that perhaps this had been better for them, better than the alternative. Akaashi didn't want to think even for a moment that Toru had made the right choice. It was an impossible decision. One that wasn't his to judge.
It was over now, at least. Wasn't it?
He looked down at Sugawara, holding the trembling omega in his arms, thinking about the reason why they had been looking for Oikawa in the first place. He was pregnant. Both he and Sugawara, they were both carrying pups. Instead of joining their friends together in a celebration of life, they had somehow found themselves assaulted by a jarring act of death.
Akaashi perked his ears towards Kuroo, the Alpha sensing his gaze and glancing over to catch his eyes. They held one another's gaze for a few quiet moments before Kuroo looked away again, returning his attention to the officer standing before him.
The daylight faded away, and as the sun set on the horizon the flashing red and blue lights faded as well, leaving those that had gathered standing quietly amongst themselves in the empty lot before the large warehouse.
Sawamura was the first to break the silence, cradling Iwaizumi against his chest while calling out to his roommates softly, "Tetsurou, Keiji, will you help me take Hajime and Koushi home?"
"Yeah. Yeah, of course." Kuroo said softly, letting out a deep sigh and perking his ears towards Akaashi, the dark omega glancing down at Sugawara and rubbing along his back gently. Sugawara sniffed and started towards the cars parked nearby without a word, Akaashi watching him go for a moment before turning to enter the studio once more, returning to where they had been before.
He gathered up the letters, taking care to ensure he didn't miss one, picking up the photographs and flash drives as well before returning to the parking lot. Kuroo was waiting for him quietly, glancing down at the small pile of items Akaashi had collected, not commenting on Akaashi's actions as he walked beside the omega towards their car.
Kuroo hesitated before leaving, stepping over to the car parked beside them and tilting his ears towards the others that had gathered there, Kozume glancing up at his approach. "Are you going to be okay?" Kuroo asked, pausing at the beta's side, Kozume perking his ears up slightly and nodding while looking towards Bokuto and Hinata.
"We'll be alright." Kozume whispered softly, his words careful and slow. "Atsumu is out of town visiting Osamu at college this weekend. He's staying at the dorms for a few more nights before returning home. It'll just be us three tonight. It makes things less complicated, for now. Not having to repeat anything."
Kuroo nodded slowly, leaning closer and planting a soft kiss against his forehead, "Call me if you need anything?"
"I will." Kozume replied quietly, giving Kuroo an affectionate smile before the Alpha turned away.
It was impossibly quiet on the car ride home, Sawamura driving while Kuroo sat in the passenger's seat, Akaashi and Sugawara resting against one another in the back seat, Sugawara crying softly while he held Iwaizumi's hand, the beta staring out the window at the other cars passing by.
The distance between the studio and the townhouse had never felt so far before, and by the time they had returned to their home and piled out of the car they were all exhausted, mentally and emotionally drained. They were quiet as they shuffled inside, barely speaking to one another as they drifted to various spots to curl up and rest, too tired to sleep, their thoughts too full to even think about how to move on from the current moment.
Iwaizumi was acting the strangest among all of them, and Sawamura and Kuroo had to stop him from leaving and returning to his house alone several times, forcing the distraught beta to stay with them, eventually coaxing Iwaizumi to lay down in bed with Sawamura and Sugawara. Once the beta was curled up between them, surrounded in blankets, comforted by their scents and warmth, he finally let himself break down, sobbing so hard he made himself sick, his partners watching over him and caring for him until he eventually cried himself to sleep.
Kuroo and Akaashi stood together in the kitchen, Kuroo mixing canned soup on the stove and stirring the broth slowly, Akaashi petting over his navel and thinking for several long moments before asking timidly, "Do you think there's anything that any of us could have done?"
"No." Kuroo whispered softly, exhaling deeply through his nose. "No, I really, really don't. He hid this from all of us, for who knows how long. He never reached out, he never spoke about it with anyone. He didn't want our help. This was decidedly his choice."
Akaashi hummed softly, nodding his quiet agreement, glancing towards the pile of letters on the countertop and sorting through them carefully, finding the letter with his name on it first, then Kuroo's, setting it aside for the Alpha to read when he chose to do so.
He slipped his nail along the seal of the envelope, opening it and withdrawing the letter carefully, turning to read the contents of the note beneath the closest kitchen light. He was quiet for a while, then a soft laugh escaped him, and he set the letter aside, walking closer to the pile of photos and sorting through them until he found the one he was looking for. He picked up one of the flash drives as well, leaving Kuroo in the kitchen for a few moments before returning with his laptop, setting it atop the counter and plugging in the drive, clicking through the various folders available before discovering one with his name.
He opened the folder, looking at the playlists inside, finding the one Oikawa had indicated in his letter. He had mentioned this particular playlist might be fitting for whenever Akaashi was feeling distressed.
He started the playlist, allowing the soft music to drift through the kitchen, stepping over to Kuroo's side and wrapping his arms around his waist, the Alpha shifting to kiss his crown and nose between his ears, breathing against him softly.
"I love you." Akaashi whispered, and Kuroo turned to embrace him fully, wrapping his arms around the omega tightly and nearly crushing him against his chest.
"I love you too, Keiji." Kuroo whispered in return, holding him for a few moments longer before letting him go, stirring the soup once more, humming along quietly to the song on Akaashi's laptop, recognizing it as one Oikawa had often listened to before.
After their soup they curled up in bed together, holding onto one another tightly, Akaashi hiding his face against Kuroo's neck and petting over his chest gently.
"I don't ever want to lose you." Akaashi whispered shakily, and Kuroo crooned softly, nuzzling into his dark hair.
"You won't. I promise you won't. I'm never leaving your side."
Across the city, Hinata was in bed between Kozume and Bokuto, crying quietly and staring at the ceiling, his chest drawn tight enough it hurt to breathe.
He understood in some way, he knew Oikawa hadn't done such a thing to hurt any of them. Still, it ached in a way Hinata could barely comprehend. It filled him with a void, a deep, unfathomable sadness comprised of yearning and loss.
Kozume watched over the omega quietly, Bokuto breathing deeply at Hinata's other side, the Alpha dozing off lightly while resting his cheek to Hinata's bright hair, his large, warm palm resting over the omega's small waist. Kozume perked his ears up a little while pushing himself up a bit, tracing his fingertips along Hinata's arm and leaning a little closer to whisper against his ear. "Do you want to try to eat something? I could make us some tea?"
"I just saw him." Hinata whispered, crying silently as he exhaled a shuddering breath. "He was just here. I just spoke with him. He was here and now he's not. He's just...gone."
Kozume hummed softly, laying down again and rolling onto his back, staring up at the ceiling as well.
"I keep thinking about it. Death is...it's just…" He shook his head, blinking slowly. "Death is everywhere. It could be a car crash, or a brain aneurysm. A heart attack, a bolt of lightning, a stray bullet. It's just a bunch of infinite, terrifying possibilities." He looked over and watched Kozume, tears streaking steadily down his cheeks. "One day it will happen to you. One day it will happen to me."
"It's scary to think about your own mortality." Kozume agreed quietly, looking over and meeting Hinata's eyes. "What matters is what we choose to do with our lives. It makes you think about what's really important. The people you love, the way you treat one another, the impact you leave in the world, the way you value your time." He shifted onto his side, resting his cheek against his palm, tightening his hold on Hinata's fingers and adding softly, "If something happens unexpectedly, and we never wake up tomorrow, I'd like to think I lived my life to the best of my ability, and have been lucky enough to experience great happiness."
He smiled fondly, searching Hinata's eyes.
"I've been thinking about the way you've changed my life, the things I've shared with you that have made me a better person, the way you smile when you're laughing, the way you say my name when you're breathless from being kissed." He leaned closer and nuzzled Hinata's cheek, murmuring gently, "Everyone dies someday. Life and death are completely sporadic and random. There are countless lives both born and extinguished all within a fraction of a heartbeat. When you consider things on a larger scale, when you think about the billions of people on the planet and the lives they have shared with one another, it's phenomenal we were all lucky enough to encounter one another in our lifetimes at all."
He touched his chest, pressing his hand over his heart.
"My impact may not be much, but if I can mean something to someone, if I can show tenderness and love to even just one person, and share whatever happiness I can with them, then in the end I think whatever suffering we endure as a result of living our lives might actually be worth it." His expression was soft as he watched Hinata, his words tender as he spoke, "Whether I have a hundred more years with you, or only a hundred more seconds, loving you has been the most fulfilling experience of my lifetime. I wouldn't change my life for anything. I'm so happy to have found you, and I'm so lucky that you decided to love me, too."
Hinata was sniffing softly, watching Kozume with a flushed, affectionate expression, leaning closer and curling up against the beta with a soft hiccup of breath, whispering gently, "Promise me you'll never kill yourself? Even if you're sick?"
Kozume hummed softly and nodded, kissing Hinata's forehead lovingly. "I promise, Shouyou. I'm not going anywhere."
Beside them Bokuto was watching their exchange, still half-asleep, closing his eyes once more and cuddling closer to spoon Hinata from behind, murmuring against his ear tiredly, "We're never leaving your side. We're never going to leave you behind. You'll never be alone."
Hinata nodded, ducking his head and hiding against Kozume's throat, breathing in his neutral, calming scent and whispering breathlessly, "I love you both so much."
-x-x-x-
Sugawara watched the monitor quietly, perking his ears towards the doctor and asking hesitantly, "Everything's alright? Everything looks okay?"
The doctor smiled and nodded reassuringly, gliding the ultrasound into a different position and hovering over the slight curve of Sugawara's stomach, perking her ears up at the rhythmic sound emitting from the monitor. "Yes, dear. Yes, your baby has a lovely, strong heartbeat." She smiled and pointed at the monitor, tapping against the images appearing in real-time, Sawamura leaning a little closer and examining the display with an amazed, happy grin.
"Can you see if it's a boy or girl yet?" Sawamura asked hesitantly, the doctor crooning softly and nodding her head.
She adjusted the wand slightly, perking her ears towards Sugawara again while offering kindly, "We can certainly determine the baby's sex now, if that is something you would like to know?"
Sugawara nodded, glancing up at Sawamura and asking nervously, "Will you see if Hajime is finished speaking with the specialist yet? I want him to be here too."
Sawamura nodded, dipping down to kiss Sugawara's temple before stepping away, peeking out into the hallway, his eyes settling on their other partner. Iwaizumi was frowning a little, nodding and listening intently to the doctor for a few moments longer before tilting his ears towards Sawamura, sensing his gaze. Sawamura waited patiently until it looked like their conversation was finished, then the beta padded over to Sawamura's side, arching his brow and asking worriedly, "Is the baby okay?"
"Yes, Hajime. Everything's fine." He opened the door, beckoning for Iwaizumi to step inside, closing the door behind him with a soft click before returning to Sugawara's side.
The omega hummed quietly, reaching out for both of them, looking to the doctor and nodding hesitantly, the doctor smiling cheerily and pointing out a few tiny details on the display monitor.
"Alright now, let's see. Ten little fingers and ten little toes. Two eyes, two ears, a nose and a mouth." She changed the position of the ultrasound wand, the baby's steady heartbeat filling the room once more, Iwaizumi letting out a soft, relieved sigh, visibly relaxing. The doctor was quiet for a while, and the baby subtly shifted against the touch of the wand, the doctor trilling excitedly and nodding decidedly before meeting Sugawara's eyes.
"Congratulations. You have a healthy baby girl."
Sugawara and Sawamura exchanged soft smiles and hushed laughter, only Iwaizumi staying quiet. He dipped back his ears a bit, then asked hesitantly, "When did you say we could start genetic testing without risking any adverse effects?"
The doctor turned her attention towards him, considering for a few moments before offering, "While Koushi is beginning to gain weight, he still isn't where I would like for him to be sitting comfortably, seeing as he's now just over fourteen weeks." She tilted an ear towards the monitor, finally giving her reply. "If things progress accordingly, I assume Koushi and your baby girl will both be safe to proceed with genetic testing within the next three to four weeks or so."
"So, a month." Iwaizumi said, the doctor nodding her approval.
"A solid month would be preferable, yes. I'd rather take our time, and use a cautious approach, rather than run the risk of any unforeseen complications with testing too early." She looked to Sawamura and Sugawara as she spoke, the Alpha and omega nodding their agreement, Sawamura turning to reach out and tug Iwaizumi closer, nuzzling his cheek affectionately.
"You don't have to worry, Hajime. The likelihood that Toru is genetically her father is very unlikely-"
Iwaizumi frowned, ducking his ears back as he whispered worriedly, "The possibility still exists. If Toru's disease has even the slightest possibility of affecting our daughter, I can't just-"
"I know." Sawamura soothed gently, crooning softly and twining their fingers together, offering something for the beta to anchor onto. "I know, baby. I know. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. I'm confident that one of us will prove to be her father." He searched Iwaizumi's eyes, nosing at his temple and cheek. "We're both healthy, and strong, just like our little girl. She's healthy Hajime, and she's going to remain perfectly healthy. She's got all of us looking out for her. The doctors are on our side, they know the situation. They know what to look for."
"We'll test for everything, just as soon as we're able." Sugawara reassured gently, trying to hide his anxiety while letting out a soft, stuttering purr to soothe the beta beside him. He reached over gently, taking one of Iwaizumi's hands and pressing his partner's palm over the bump growing steadily within his lower stomach, Iwaizumi snorting softly and relenting, perking his ears up lightly and offering his partners a faint smile.
"A girl, huh? A little girl." Iwaizumi whispered fondly, petting across Sugawara's soft skin, ignoring the slimy gel clinging to his fingers, the doctor watching their interactions fondly while offering the new parents a warm smile.
"She is very lucky to have each of you." The doctor sighed contentedly, standing up from her chair and opening the door, slipping out into the hallway while calling merrily, "I'll bring you those copies of the readings we examined before, along with some brand new pictures of your precious daughter!" She disappeared out of sight, her footsteps growing fainter as she wandered down the hall, leaving the three partners alone together, Sugawara looking down at his tummy with a soft, fond expression, Sawamura reaching down to pet over his belly-bump as well.
It had been almost two weeks now since they had lost their other partner. Two weeks of heartache and tears, and overwhelming bouts of anxiety and depression. It had felt impossible in the moment, but they had clung together, and they had survived.
Now, there were brighter things to focus on. Now, there was a new life they could direct their attention towards, to help distract them from their pain.
Sugawara wasn't sure if it would ever stop hurting, the feeling of losing Oikawa so suddenly. So violently. The letters he had written for all of them, the albums of photographs and the playlists of music he had left behind, they helped. But in no way did they come anywhere close to encompassing the real thing.
Oikawa Toru was irreplaceable. Unforgettable. They would never be whole again without him.
Iwaizumi and Sawamura took turns gently petting over Sugawara's stomach, the Alpha and beta nuzzling one another gently, comforting one another, sharing soft purrs and warmth. Sugawara smiled brightly, tears caught in his lashes as he let out a soft peal of laughter, and as he looked up to his partners he knew with all of his heart what name to choose for their daughter.
"Rue." Sugawara said gently, stray tears dripping down his cheeks. "Let's call her Rue. After her father."
Iwaizumi's movements slowed for a moment, his palm settling over their daughter and lingering there, overwhelmed at Sugawara's suggestion. He dipped back his ears slightly, a wave of emotion washing over him so strong he could barely breathe.
Sawamura watched him carefully, leaning close to kiss at the curve of his jaw and cheek, his purring deepening and growing in volume as he whispered gently, "Rue, for Toru. It's a beautiful name."
Iwaizumi made a soft sound of agreement, flexing his fingertips against Sugawara's as the omega gently took his hand, searching his glassy eyes, Sugawara asking breathlessly after a moment, "Hajime? Is that okay?"
"Yes. Yes, Koushi." Iwaizumi managed softly, tears starting to course down his cheeks. "Thank you, thank you for wanting that." He ducked his head, crying softly, Sawamura tugging him closer and pressing the beta's face against his neck, crooning softly to soothe him.
They held onto one another tightly, mourning the loss of the beautiful, precious loved one they had lost, while patiently awaiting the day they would greet that tiny spark of new life steadily growing within Sugawara, soon to come.
-x-x-x-
Hinata had never felt loss before. He had never experienced the death of a family member, or the death of a friend. He had been lucky so far in his life to have never attended a funeral. Losing Oikawa had changed everything.
Time seemed stretched out, extended in unbearable increments. Each moment seemed frozen, as if the strain of existence would never end. He still remembered vividly what he had witnessed beyond that closed door. He replayed it over and over in his mind, to the point that he could think of little else. Kozume and Bokuto comforted him the best they could, but this was not something that could be easily mended. Hinata needed time, but how much time was completely indiscernible.
At the funeral, they had played one of the playlists from the flash drives that Oikawa had left behind. Hinata had a copy of that exact same playlist in one of the folders under his name. He listened to those same beautiful songs nearly every single day, imagining Oikawa painting or sewing as he listened to them, singing along with the lyrics, a soft, gentle smile across his face. Hinata spent hours outside, sitting in the grass beneath the warm sun, watching the clouds pass by and listening. Simply listening.
He hadn't heard anything. He hadn't realized what Oikawa was going through. And now he was gone.
There were so many things Hinata wanted to say.
The portrait Oikawa had painted for him hung beside the window of his bedroom, where the sunlight could shine along the gold paint highlighting his smiling features throughout the day.
Sugawara, Sawamura, and Iwaizumi had allowed each of Oikawa's close friends to take home another painting from his collection, whichever canvas they liked.
Hinata had chosen a medium-sized landscape painting, the canvas only slightly larger than the portrait Oikawa had painted for him. He hung it beside the window as well, a beautiful rendition of the hanging gardens Hinata had visited before with Akaashi. It was filled with sunshine and endless pastel blossoms, pinks and blues, yellows and purples, birds here and there roosting in the archways and clustered together along the footpaths, pecking at scattered seeds.
It had been painted from a photograph undoubtedly, perhaps a year or two before Hinata had met Oikawa on that sunny spring afternoon.
Sugawara remembered the painting fondly, and offered it up to Hinata gladly.
"He would have liked for you to have it." The other omega had whispered softly, tears glistening against his cheeks beneath the bright studio lights. "Please, take it. It would mean a lot to all of us if you would continue to cherish Toru in your heart."
Hinata had never painted before. Oil painting took years of dedication, extreme patience and countless trials and errors while cultivating such a skill. Each vibrant color layered upon the other, each new brushstroke complementing and contrasting with the one that had come before. Hinata had no idea how much talent Oikawa had truly held until he tried painting for himself. It was frustrating, not being able to accurately depict what he wanted to portray in his mind's eye.
He might never have the skillset needed to become a talented oil painter, but the moment Hinata tried watercolors instead everything fell neatly into place.
It had only been a handful of days since they had lost Oikawa, but in that time Hinata had created dozens of watercolor paintings. He sat outside beneath the sunlight, painting the trees and the grass, the clouds and the sun. The versatility of it, the way he could so easily mix colors and dapple water across a blank page to perfectly describe how he was feeling, it was ineffable. Calming, soothing, fulfilling beyond belief.
He painted the emotions Oikawa's songs sparked within him. He painted everything, and sometimes nothing, merely nonsensical splashes and strokes of color against creamy white. He poured out everything, all of those things he would never have a chance to say, and immersed himself completely in his art.
Kozume knew Hinata well enough to know when to step in, and when to sit back and watch. This was something Hinata needed to do for himself, and though there were days when Hinata barely spoke to him, as long as he was certain his boyfriend was eating and sleeping, Kozume left him to his own devices.
Bokuto struggled with leaving Hinata to himself. Atsumu and Kozume distracted him, spending time with him in Hinata's stead. Kuroo and Akaashi visited him whenever they could, but they spent the majority of their time with their roommates and Iwaizumi. They had nearly finished the renovations that had been started on Iwaizumi and Oikawa's house. They were planning on hosting a dinner party for their friends once the renovations were finally through.
As the days passed, and more and more time elapsed between Oikawa's death and the present moment, Hinata's plethora of watercolor paintings only continued to grow.
Kozume collected each and every watercolor piece once they were finished, organizing them in correlating albums for Hinata, supporting him and praising him constantly for his beautiful, emotional work. Bokuto watched over them from a distance, allowing Kozume to be there for Hinata whenever it seemed there was nothing he himself could truly do to help. They had been best friends for a lifetime before Hinata and Bokuto had even met. There were stretches of days when Hinata didn't need the affections of a lover, he simply needed the presence of a close friend.
Kozume made sure that whenever Hinata wanted to be alone, he purposefully spent time with Bokuto instead. They were bondmates as well, after all. They had promised to share their lives together. Their affection may never be anything more than platonic, but platonic love was a powerful, beautiful thing.
Two weeks passed. Then four. Then six.
Two months. Then three.
The seasons changed, from early spring to the height of summer, gradually fading into fall.
The first time Hinata painted the leaves starting to change, he reached a breaking point. Seeing the beautiful way nature transitioned from life into death moved him in ways he hadn't expected.
Slowly but surely, he returned to himself again. He gradually started speaking more, and began choosing to spend time with his partners instead of countless quiet hours painting alone.
It was nearly six months before Hinata decided he wanted to spend time with Akaashi and Sugawara again. It was fascinating to see how much they had changed in the time that had passed. How much their bellies had grown. Sugawara was due in the next few weeks, while Akaashi was due the month after.
Their households had changed quite a bit. Sugawara and Sawamura had decided to move in with Iwaizumi, and convert one of the extra bedrooms into a nursery. Similarly, with Sugawara and Sawamura's bedroom now empty, Kuroo and Akaashi had converted the extra space into a nursery of their own.
There were still beautiful house plants here and there in Kuroo and Akaashi's townhouse, but most of the garden had migrated next door once Sugawara and Sawamura had transitioned into their new living space. In place of the plants that had covered the walls before, beautiful, extravagant canvases brightened up the living room; a myriad of portraits, abstract works, and landscapes.
Oikawa was everywhere, in every moment of their lives. All those cherished, precious pieces of himself. His love for them was reflected endlessly in the snapshots of memory that Oikawa had left behind.
Hinata stared at one of the paintings against the adjacent wall, the sunshine beaming down from the skylights highlighting the ripples across the water of the park scene, a dainty gazebo and a raft of ducks reflected in the shimmering water. Sugawara sat next to him quietly, balancing his tea atop his rounded tummy, perking his ears towards Sawamura as he spoke quietly nearby with Iwaizumi and Bokuto. Kuroo stood in the kitchen with Kozume and Akaashi, the omega laughing softly and reassuring his bonded he was alright to fetch himself his own tea, Kozume watching their exchange with a soft, affectionate smile, his arms crossed lightly over his chest.
"It's beautiful." Hinata said quietly, and Sugawara hummed softly and nodded, casting his eyes towards the painting as well.
"I was there with him, the day he painted that piece." Sugawara took another sip of his tea, before settling the cup atop his belly once more. "We sat in the park for hours while Toru tried to effectively capture the sunlight across the water just right." He smiled fondly at the thought of his partner, sighing and petting over the curve of his stomach. "He was never satisfied with his own work, no matter how often we reassured him how amazing his paintings were. There were some he would complete within a few hours, and others that took years for him to finally be content with." He tilted his ears towards Akaashi as the other omega waddled over and settled down at his side, Kuroo helping to prop him up on a few pillows before Akaashi waved the fussy Alpha away teasingly, the dark-haired omega sipping at his steaming cup contentedly and offering Hinata a sweet smile.
"It's good to have you here, Shouyou." Akaashi said gently, and Sugawara hummed his agreement, reaching over and placing his hand over Hinata's.
"Thank you for coming to see us. I know this has been exceptionally hard on you. I'm glad to hear you've been feeling more like yourself recently." The pale omega looked towards Kuroo and Kozume as they took a seat across from them on the opposite couch, asking curiously, "You said that you've been painting as well? Would you mind sharing some of your artwork with us?"
Hinata dipped back his ears a bit, giving Sugawara a small, uncertain smile. "Oh, I don't know...I mean, it's nothing compared to pieces like these…"
"Every artist has a way of capturing their own unique beauty." Akaashi said gently, leaning a little closer so he could rest against Sugawara's side. "You mustn't try to compare your work to anyone else's. You alone can create and share your unique experiences, your own personal version of your world."
Hinata nodded, his expression softening a bit. "Alright, if you'd like to see. Kenma has put together several portfolios now, so...we'll bring something with us, next time?"
"Yes, next time." Sugawara agreed, smiling softly and squeezing Hinata's hand, lacing their fingers gently and relaxing back against the pillows surrounding him, Akaashi similarly relaxing into his makeshift nest as well. The pale omega hummed to himself happily, a slow, sweet melody. "Soon, Rue will be here with us. I wonder if she will have her father's eyes."
"Oh, green eyes would be lovely." Akaashi mused, sighing happily and petting over his belly as he considered. "Though brown eyes would look like all of you. Regardless, I'm certain she will be absolutely beautiful."
Hinata perked his ears up a little at that, glancing towards Iwaizumi nearby. "You said that when your doctor received the results of the genetic testing, they discovered that Iwaizumi was the father?"
"Biologically, yes. Hajime is her father." Sugawara lifted his cup, smiling against the lip as he took a sip. "Though Daichi and Toru are just as much her fathers as Hajime. I feel as though we all created her together, since the four of us were all intimate with one another that night."
Hinata nodded his understanding, dipping his ears back a bit, his expression soft and thoughtful. "I'm sure it must have been a relief, when you found out. Those weeks where you had to wait, not knowing if she might share Toru's genetics..." He squeezed Sugawara's fingers, exhaling softly. "I'm happy to know that she is healthy. I can't wait to meet her."
Akaashi reached over and pet Sugawara's tummy gently, patting lightly as the baby within shifted slightly under his touch. "She's going to be a great big sister, isn't she?"
Sugawara smiled and laughed brightly, blushing and nodding as well. "Oh, I hope so. I can't wait to have another." He looked over and caught Hinata's eyes, clarifying gently, "I want to have a baby that's genetically Daichi's as well. We're planning on trying for a second baby just as soon as Rue is settled, and I'm feeling well enough."
"A planned pregnancy!" Akaashi grinned teasingly, laughing merrily when Sugawara glanced over at him with a bright blush.
Hinata watched them both with a gentle smile, perking his ears towards Akaashi and asking, "Have you and Kuroo decided on a name yet?"
Akaashi hummed and perked up his ears, smiling thoughtfully. "Yes, we decided to name the baby Skye."
"Skye." Hinata repeated, smiling and perking his ears slightly. "That's a pretty name, for either a boy or a girl."
"Exactly!" Akaashi sighed happily, returning his hand to his own belly and rubbing over the baby within affectionately. "We wanted it to be a surprise, so we'll have to wait and see! It doesn't really matter to us either way, we're just happy that our baby is healthy."
Sugawara watched over his companion with a soft smile for a few moments before returning his attention to Hinata, perking his ears up and asking with a playful grin, "What about you, Shouyou? Are you interested in having pups with your partners one day?"
Hinata's expression fell a bit, and he glanced away, thinking for a moment before replying. "After everything that's happened, I haven't really thought about it. Honestly, I've been neglecting my partners. Both Kenma and Koutarou have done everything they possibly could have to help me through these past several months, but thinking about anything more, our bonding ceremony, or starting a family together…" He shook his head, his ears ducking back slightly. "I can't bring myself to even consider it. Not right now."
Sugawara hummed softly, glancing over and catching Akaashi's eyes briefly before returning his gaze to the younger omega, saying gently, "We all have different ways of grieving. You mustn't blame yourself."
"We're here for you, Shouyou." Akaashi added with a soft smile. "If you need to talk, or cry, or just simply want to spend time with us."
Sugawara hummed his agreement. "We would be happy for you to visit with us, you are welcome in our homes anytime. You can come see us and the babies whenever you'd like."
Hinata nodded, leaning a little closer and resting his cheek against Sugawara's shoulder, allowing the other omegas to soothe him, Sugawara wrapping his arm around Hinata's shoulders and petting his hair gently, Akaashi reaching out and finding Hinata's hand, squeezing his fingers lightly. "Thank you. Both of you. It feels good, being here with everyone like this. I've been spending so much time alone, I had almost forgotten how comforting it feels to be surrounded by others."
Akaashi hummed quietly, and Sugawara started to purr, Hinata smiling and closing his eyes, a soft purr starting in his chest as well, Akaashi soon harmonizing with them both.
After dinner, Hinata exchanged fond farewells with their group of friends, promising to meet again soon. He returned to his apartment with Kozume and Bokuto at his side, kicking off his shoes at the door before padding into the living room quietly. Atsumu and Osamu were curled up together on the couch watching a movie, a half-eaten pizza sitting before them on the coffee table. Both of the twins greeted them warmly, Atsumu shifting slightly to the side while Osamu called out to Hinata, beckoning for the omega to come cuddle up between them.
Kozume stepped into Hinata's bedroom, Bokuto trailing behind him quietly, lingering in the doorway for a few moments and watching their boyfriend before leaving him to spend time with his other partners. He perked his ears towards Kozume, watching as the beta sorted through a few new paintings Hinata had been working on, checking to see if they were fully dry before taking each one carefully in hand and adding them to one of several portfolio albums sitting on the bookshelf nearby.
He opened a half-empty album and flipped through the glossy protective sleeves carefully, finding the next empty page, gliding each of the new paintings into their own individual sleeves gently, ensuring none of the pages would bend before closing the portfolio once more. He smoothed his fingers over the other albums sitting nearby, pulling one from the shelf that was almost full, opening it and flipping through the paintings slowly, Bokuto stepping closer to watch as Kozume thoughtfully examined each page. This portfolio was from a few months before, when summer had first begun.
There were various paintings of butterflies, ducks, and frogs. Bright blooms of summer flowers, and various types of picnic foods. Throughout the album there were recurring themes of sunrises and sunsets, brilliant starry nights and dark skies with impossibly full moons, all rendered in amazing detail. Hinata loved to paint tiny moments, fragments of the days and nights he spent exploring the city, sharing through his artwork the day to day thoughts and emotions he experienced, however big or small. They were all important to him, and shared a simplistic beauty. Hinata especially loved to paint the sky. He had almost an entire album dedicated to capturing sunshine peeking through giant, fluffy, marshmallow clouds, and stormy skies filled with thunder and lightning, pouring sheets of grey-blue rain down upon the city.
It was raw, and real, and somehow entirely relatable.
Kozume cherished each and every one. Every piece of Hinata that he chose to share with the world. He was in awe of his boyfriend's talent, and how drastically his skillset had flourished over the months since he'd first started painting.
Bokuto reached out and touched one of the paintings as Kozume flipped through the album, gliding his fingertips over the protective pocket and chuckling softly, whispering, "He's amazing, isn't he?"
"He really is." Kozume replied, sighing fondly, glancing up at the Alpha at his side before offering him the album. Bokuto took it from him carefully, continuing to turn through the pages, casting his eyes towards the bed as Kozume settled down upon the pillows, resting his forearm across his eyes, quiet for a few moments before he spoke again. "Tetsu asked me about our bonding ceremony today."
Bokuto hummed quietly, closing the album and returning it to the shelf before stepping over to sit down at Kozume's side, looking down at the beta and asking, "Did you tell him Shouyou isn't ready yet?"
He hummed a soft affirmation, peeking up at Bokuto from just under his arm, holding his eyes as he asked, "Do you think he will ever be? He's...different now. He's better than he was but he's still…" He frowned a little, trying to find the right words. "It feels like he might never be the same, like this might be our new normal, and honestly I don't know how to feel about that." He hid his eyes again, his ears ducking back a bit. "I can't blame him, I can't begin to imagine what he's still going through. I just...I want our Shouyou back."
Bokuto sighed quietly, shifting to lay down beside Kozume, reaching out and wrapping his arm around the beta's waist lightly, propping himself up on a set of pillows while petting slowly along Kozume's side. "I've considered that too. What if he never returns to the happy-go-lucky, bubbly omega that he's always been. That carefree, energetic person that I fell in love with. What if this has changed him to the point where there's no going back?" He watched Kozume as the beta rested his arm to the side, meeting his eyes once more, continuing softly, "I don't have all the answers, and I share the same worries as you do, but as long as he's with us, as long as we're together, I think we'll make it through. Even if he never returns to that place where he could smile and laugh all the time without a single care in the world, he's still our Shouyou."
"Yeah." Kozume sighed quietly, rolling over and cuddling up against Bokuto's chest. "I know you're right. I just miss how things were before."
"I know." Bokuto whispered back gently, nuzzling between Kozume's ears and casting his eyes towards the painting of Hinata hanging on the wall beside the window, wondering if the boy they loved would ever be able to smile like that again. He closed his eyes, wrapping his arms tightly around the beta pressed against him, and waited patiently to see if Hinata would eventually decide to come join them both in bed.
In the living room, Hinata was resting between Atsumu and Osamu, already half asleep, holding each of the twin's hands with one of his own, purring softly as he basked in their scents and warmth. Atsumu was quiet as he stroked over Hinata's ears, Osamu glancing down at the omega between them now and then to make sure he was comfortable and content, the silver Alpha petting over his thigh affectionately, slowly coaxing the omega to sleep. The twins exchanged a glance, trading back and forth little smiles, happy to have Hinata spending time with them again. It had been far too long since they had heard the omega's soft, happy purrs.
Perhaps one day soon, between the four of them, they would be able to bring laughter back into Hinata's heart.
Thanks for reading! More to come!
