"Fucking hell!" I punch the wall of the building. I've heard tales of Amelians being cheap motherfuckers, but to also profit on people's lives and misfortunes? ABSOLUTELY OUTRAGEOUS!! Treating it like damn merchants would! "I FUCKING DETEST MERCHANTS!!!" The people in the room are looking at me like I'm insane. Calm down Raziel. Don't lose your cool. I walk around the port see how the fuck I'm suppose to make sixteen hundred dollars. There's multiple pubs that probably have something I'm looking for.
I go inside one of them. Full of people wasting their time by getting shitfaced. Hm? I walk to a board full of bounties. Seems all if these are an ant infestation.
"Howdy stranger." An elf approaches me. She has blonde hair and emerald eyes. She has a skimpy cowboy get up, for some reason. "Couldn't help but notice you're interested in a job?"
"Depends. Will I make two grands by the end of it?" She chuckles.
"Straight to the point. I like that." She pulls out a flyer between her bosom. "I'm huntin' down this man. He owes me alimony for our child." I check the paper.
"David Bounty. Ten thousand." I whistle at the amount.
"I don't mind sharing the reward, but I want to test ya first."
"Test me?"
"That's right. Don't take it personal, but I want to make sure you're not goin' to fuck anythin' on the way. Been too many cases that my partners have cost me bounties for thinkin' with their snakes, ya know? Which is why I test anyone first to see if they got their head in game." She tips her hat at me.
"As much as I don't want to waste time, I see no other easy way. Let's get this over with." She laughs.
"Don't worry. It'll be quick." We both go outside to the streets. She hands me a revolver. "We're gonna duel."
"What!? But I've never used a gun before! Scratch that, I've never done any duels!"
"It's fine. I won't kill ya. This is just a test. Now let's get in position." We create distance from each other.
A crowd gathers around us. Fucking dammit. I don't know the first thing about these duels. Am I supposed to shoot her? But then she would be injured and that will pose a problem. Maybe I'll shoot the gun away. Yea. I'll go with that. If I can do it anyways. It should be easy. All I have to do is aim and shoot. We stand for who knows how long. Her left hand is hovering closely on the revolver that rests on her belt buckle, waiting for me to make the first move. Everything around me slows down as I take aim. Before I could pull the trigger, she shoots the revolver from my hand without needing to aim! The force causes pain on my fingers. The crowd cheers.
"Okay. You're hired." She holsters her gun.
"Huh?" I express my confusion as I rub my hands for comfort.
"Despite wearin' a revealin' outfit, you never once took a glance at my figure. Your gaze was fixated at my gun, which I could clearly tell ya were goin' to shoot it." She picks up her other revolver. "Now come on. The sooner we leave, the quicker we can get to that bastard." She starts walking. Man, why isn't she my traveling partner. Not that I mind Lily, as annoying as she can be sometimes, but it would be helpful if she was a capable ally.
We approach the stables an-Oh no. The blonde bitch that I met at the cavern is waiting at the stables. She notices us.
"Well well. We meet again." She smiles as she scans me with her cold blue eyes. I still do not like her.
"Trust me. I wouldn't be here by choice. What are you doing here?"
"Me? I'm joining the elf so I can research the Ant Girls."
"Ant Girls?"
"That's right. Witnesses have claimed the old bastard is in cahoots with the Ant Queen. They shouldn't be too far from the plains." The elf explains. "It's a two hour ride, so I brought y'all some steeds. They will be yours when we're done." She hops on her Mustang, while Diana gets on her Gypsy Horse.
I examine the Amelian Warmblood. Caressing her brown fur, she flinches a bit. I notice some marks on her legs. That explains it. She must've been a show horse forced to dance. Which means she was cheap. The horse gets upset when I'm at her line of sight.
"Shh. It's okay. I won't hurt you." I take out a carrot. She is hesitant, but eats it. I rub her muzzle and she neighs calmly. "See? I'm not like those fuckers who mistreated you." Horses are a man's soulmate. People who fucks with these majestic creatures need to be killed on the spot. Once she is comfortable with my presence, I sit on the saddle.
"Are you done flirting?" Diana smirks. What a cunt.
"It's important to bond with your companion, since they have to deal with your shit." I spit facts.
"Ain't that the truth! I've been with Shot Barrel since he was a foal. Ain't that right, buddy?" The elf pats his head. He neighs happily. Diana shrugs and we trot along the plains.
I take this opportunity to read on the entry of the monster we're going to fight against. Let's see...Huh? I can't find anything about them! I flip around the book like crazy, but there's only an entry on Ant Arachne!
"What are you reading?" Diana asks.
"It's my personal journal. I take notes on the monster I've fought for reference." I hope she can leave me alone.
"Hmm. That's what I expect from the Cold Hunter himself." I glare at her. "What? Don't think I haven't studied your accomplishments, Brendon Raziel."
"Never say that name ever again. Just call me Raziel."
"Oh? Did I hit a nerve? Chichichi~!" I'm about to put an arrow between her eyes!
"I can respect that. Sometimes you don't like the name you've been given. I know it's a little late for introductions, but you can call me Elves with Guns." The elf says.
"Elves with Guns?" The hell kind of name is that?
"Eeyup! My kind are stuck in the past and overall sticks in the mud. Not me. I embrace the change and adapt with the times. Time always goes forward, never backwards. And those that think otherwise will inevitably be left behind."
"Huh. Never thought about it that way. But if things are fine the way it is, why complicate things for a change?" If it ain't broke, why fix it?
"Because it makes life easier and interestin'. I don't know about you, but guns are much better weapons than swords or arrows." She spins her revolvers. "It has its drawbacks, but the good outweigh the bad." She holsters them back. Diana yawns.
"As interesting as this conversation is, I want to know about your sex life." I look at her bewilderingly.
"Hahaha! Well if ya really want to know, I had my fair share of rodeo. Though I've recently been focused on my hunt and taking care of my little darlin'."
"Interesting. What about you, Mr. Cold Hunter?"
"Pfft. Haven't had sex in a long while. Too busy for that shit."
"Really? I'm completely stunned knowing you are traveling with a Lilim."
"A Lilim!?" EwG faces me. "You must sturdier than an ox to not have sex with one! Are you even human?"
"I don't see the fucking big deal."
"That is a big deal! I've never heard of one of them NOT fuckin' their partner at the drop of a hat." Don't encourage her EwG.
"Indeed. It's almost like you're both on a journey for something. I wonder what that could be?" Diana smirks.
"For fuck sakes! She's just my traveling partner! Are we close to this fucking bounty?" I rub my arm. For some reason, the detector is slightly going off. That's expected since we're in the open wilderness, but it hasn't stopped reacting. Are we being followed?
"Hold up." EwG commands us to stop. "I think we just found our jackpot." She points at the huge anthill some meters away. It's as big as the houses from back home! "We'll set up camp here, since we got a wonderful view of it."
"Use the trees as cover, so they don't spot us." I get off and start preparing my equipment for the upcoming battle. Bombs, arrows, rope and knives. Everything seems in order. Diana is on the lookout, while Elves with Guns is examining her revolvers.
"Welp. Y'all better make yourselves comfortable, cause we're going to be here for awhile." EwG yawns and lays against a tree.
"How are you sure this is the right place?" I ask. Without even looking, she points at a marking on a nearby trunk. What the fuck? It looks like a rose with a tentacle at the end.
"That there be his signature. He's simple minded enough to leave traces of himself around, cause he sucks with directions. Looks recent, which means he's still in there gettin' gangbanged by the colony or somethin'." She places her hat on her face. "Wake me up when the snake is out of his den."
Nice. So we're stuck until something happens. Lily is probably bored out of her mind. I wonder what she's doing right now? Probably fucking the entire hospital as I speak. Not that I mind. That's what they get for being greedy fuckers. Let me check the encyclopedia one more time and see if I missed an entry.
"If you're reading what I'm thinking, you won't find anything about them." Diana faces me.
"What are you talking about?"
"Come on. You can't fool a scholar that you're reading a Monster Girl Encyclopedia. I knew something was strange that a normal man managed to kill an Atlach-Nacha on their own. Also, I know Ant Girls are not native to your home. Which I find strange, considering you were flipping through your "journal" very desperately." She has that damn smirk of hers. "Please don't give me that look. It is your fault for making it obvious."
"So what? You going to rat on me?" I need to know what her deal is.
"Who do you take me for? I gain nothing from such an outdated book."
"Outdated? This book has helped me get this far."
"Did it really? Think back of all the monsters you've encountered so far and tell me how accurately it portrays them."
I am about to refute her claim, but then I actually stop to think. The Atlach-Nacha, Scylla, Elves with Guns and even Lily exhibit behavior different from the book. Fuck me, the first two even used abilities that were never mentioned.
"I can tell from your face that it's sinking in. The book is nothing more than a glorified paperweight. I'm sure it has entries of the Lescatie kingdom and Zipangu as if those places still exist." Fuck. She's right. Those nations have either been long abandoned, renamed or split into different countries. "Those entries account for the first inceptions of monsters. It has been centuries since then and the girls are much more different than described. Even terms for the Overlord have changed with time. I believe you call them Demon Lord or something similar." She gets close to my face and I can see a ring of light more clearly around her eyes.
"I find it pretty interesting that you know a lot about the history of monsters."
"Of course! Only natural that a scholar such as me, Diana Parker, would know such basic materials." She puffs her chest proudly.
"Is that why you're using your Chosen status in order to become one of them?" I bait her. She stares blankly at me and then grins, making me take a look at her very sharp canines.
"Chichichi~! Oh you're good. I'm guessing you came to that conclusion due to your detector reacting to me. Ah well. The cat is out of the bag. I'm guessing you're curious why I want to become a monster?"
"Not really, but you're gonna tell me anyways."
"So there I was, in the Halls of Wisdom." Oh boy. "Just kidding~! I've always been fascinated by their bluntness and impressive figures. Humans are so basic and barbaric. Just look at that elf. So powerful and with a luscious body to add! Any woman that wants to stay human, is just stuck in the past like the book you clutch so dearly."
"Shut the fuck up! This is the last remnant that my dear friend has given me to defeat the Demon Lord and I won't let your insults go any further!" I get closer to her face. It takes huge amounts of energy not to wipe that motherfucking smirk off her face!
"What are you going to do about it, Cold Hunter?" She whispers. Our lips are only mere centimeters apart. I can feel her breath. That's when my detector goes crazy and I back off. "Hmph. Always on your toes. I can see how you've survived this long."
"Sheesh. Could you both save the sexual tension for when we're done?" Elves with Guns comments, fixing her hat back. "Hard to get some shut eye with you fussin'."
We hear one of our horses neighing wildly. It's Diana's horse that's causing the ruckus. It looks as if it's swimming, but we're on land! The other two run away from the area.
"Lucidity!" Elves with Guns shouts as she runs for aid. We chase after her. It's now clear what's going on. Lucidity is being sucked into the ground by a whirlpool made out of sand! EwG tries to extend her arm to reach the reins, but I pull her away.
"Don't! You'll get sucked in too." I tell her. She's about to complain, but stops herself. We watch as the horse gets completely swallowed by the earth. Then there's a tremor and Ant Girls start crawling out of the sand. "RUUUUN!" We sprint as fast as we possibly can.
More of them come out from the anthill and now there's possibly hundreds of them on our tail! EwG whistles and Shot Barrel appears. She hops on and starts shooting. My horse finally arrives. Sadly, I have to let Diana get on as well.
"Shit! There's too many of them to take down!" EwG reloads her revolvers.
"Give me your bow, Raziel." Diana says.
"Why!?"
"Do you want to survive?" I don't know what she's planning, but it better be good. I hand her Ol' Reliable and she starts chanting some weird shit and my bow starts glowing. "H-Here. I used all my magic for you to shoot them...all." She passes out. I stop the horse and quickly aim to take the shot. Light surrounds the arrow and I shoot. It flies up in the air and rays of light showers on the ants, killing most of them. EwG finishes off the rest.
"That was insane!" I exclaim. Guess she was useful after all.
"Shit. I'm sure that bug licker knows were after him. Coward is probably runnin' away as we speak. Let's go back and rest-" She doesn't finish as we fall off our horses! Now we're all stuck in a sandpit! "What in tarnation!?" Both of us try to get out, but we're stuck in place! I have to constantly help Diana resurface. The horses are thrashing about, trying to stay afloat.
"Hmhahaha! Hooooyyyy! Seems like tha hunter has become tha prey!" A man with a cowboy hat appears in the middle of the pit. His brown eyes are slit like a snake.
"David Bounty!" Elves with Guns yells as she shoots at him. He quickly dives in the sand.
"Woah there, ex-pardner. Let's be civil now." He somehow manages to be at the edge of the pit. Did he swim underground to get there!? "I see ya've taken tha life of the lawless, Fyanyelik."
"No thanks to you! Left me all alone with my baby!"
"It's not my fault ya left yer legs open fer a guy like me. Ya know that's how tha west life works."
"You dirty snake! You took advantage of me! Had I known you were a backstabbing vermin, I would've ended your life right then and there!"
"That sounds like a personal problem. I even told ya tha relationship would only last fer a year. I'm a free man. What can I say?" He chuckles. "I've found sumthing much better. Thanks to tha queen's interaction with tha Mamono Lord, our constant sexual encounters has granted me this amazing ability! That there be a better done deal, wouldn't ya say?"
"I knew it. You've become an Incubus. Though I never imagined a human man developing a monster ability." I say. He smiles.
"That is tha way, mah fellow man! Now, I must finish ya off quickly. Mah queen needs attending with her husband. But I want to witness y'all demise! From a safe distance, of course. Under Pressure." He snaps his fingers and the sand is sucking us in! He moves out of sight, but we know the bastard is there!
"Hmph. Hahahaha!" EwG laughs.
"What are you laughing about!? Have you gone fucking mad!?" I shout.
Friedrich Habetler - Johnny Joestar Theme
"Just imagining the look on his face when I kill him. That is, if you got a spare arrow." Fuck me! How do I always get myself into these messes? I grab an arrow. "A'right. Now just throw it up in the air."
"What!?"
"Do it, before it's too late!" Rrrrgh! She better know what she's doing! I fling the arrow as instructed. "Heh. Jackpot." She shoots at the arrowhead, which causes the bullet to ricochet at, what I hope, the fucking bastard. Seems it worked, since we've stopped sinking and climb out of the pit. I drag Diana out. She missed the action. I pull out the horses, while EwG walks to David Bounty. "Eeyup! That's the face I wanted to see. Flabbergasted!" She walks to Shot Barrel to take out a rope. She ties it around his legs and ties the other end to the saddle. "A moment of silence for Lucidity." She takes off her hat.
"...We can still go back and get her body." I suggest. She shakes her head.
"It would take too long. If there's somethin' I learned about from my time survivin', is that death doesn't wait 'till you find somewhere to lay rest. All I hope for is that her spirit is roamin' free." She puts the hat back on her head. "Let's ride and reap our reward." She hops on Shot Barrel.
I look back. There's a bunch of ant corpses...I think of the monsters I've killed. I'd be kidding myself if I didn't feel some remorse. It's never easy. I've just been doing it long enough to get used to it. That's something I hope no one but me has to ever experience.
Back to the root of greed
We arrive back at the port. She turns in the body, while I leave Diana in one of the motels to rest. I am fucking exhausted. I meet up with EwG at the pub.
"Here's your share for a job well done." She hands me three grands.
"I don't need this much."
"Do not worry about it. You've proven yourself to be a strong man, so I threw in a little extra." She gets uncomfortably close to me. "I won't lie, you'd make a good husband for me~!" She turns her back. "But, I'm a mother first before a woman. I got a little angel waitin' to explore the world with her mom!" She gets on Shot Barrel. "Adios, partner. May you have as many children with your wife!" She tips her hat and rides away.
"...She's not my wife." I sigh. Why is everyone pushing us to be together?...I'll worry about that when this is all over. The horse nudges against me. "Oh. Right. You must be hungry after all that shit." I need to restock anyway. I bet Lily is pulling her hair out waiting for me. I've definitely got one hell of a story to tell when I get back.
