This is a bit of a filler chapter, but I felt like I needed to be sure to set up what's going to happen soon and not rush it! I hope you all enjoy it and please leave a review and let me know your thoughts. Also, thank you Missy 63 for reviewing the last chapter! You rock!
"SARA!" I jolted awake at the sound of Jack's frantic cry. I quickly sat up, breathing heavy. I could feel my hair sticking to my damp forehead and I clamped my right hand together in hopes I would find my staff there, but it wasn't. I let my eyes come into focus as I stood up and took in my surroundings. I felt the room spin slightly and I tried to keep my balance. I felt an arm gingerly grab my own.
I twisted out of its grip instinctively and let myself stagger back a few feet. My back hit the control panel that I had now seen numerous times before. "Sara?" I looked up again as my hands gripped the cool metal I was leaning against. I was out of my room, and I must have been on the ground in front of the Guardians usual meeting spot. Jack had just spoke again and was looking at me. He seemed worried, but hurt. He must have been the one I pushed away earlier. He didn't have his staff, but seemed ready to fight if needed. North, Sandy, Tooth, and Bunny were a few feet behind him, their backs to the golden railing that surrounded the platform.
I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself. It was a dream. I got out of it. It was real, but not anymore. I looked up and saw that the Northern Lights were shining.
"Did I turn those on?" I asked to nobody in particular as I turned towards the control panel, seeing if I had hit a button or not.
"No, I did." I looked at Jack and was surprised to hear the edge in his voice.
"Where's my staff?" He gave an irritated laugh as he started walking towards me.
"What happened?"
"Is it in my room? Where's yours?"
"Sara! I woke up to you screaming and thrashing in bed. I couldn't wake you up and I panicked and carried you down hear and called the rest of the Guardians." I was shocked to hear what had happened as I dreamt. I immediately felt guilty and tried to keep eye contact with him rather than looking away as was my habit. "Oh but I'm so sorry that in my worry I forgot your precious staff."
I felt myself grow warm, but not like I usually did when Jack and I spoke. I was getting angry. I glared at him and tried to push past him to face the Guardians and explain what had happened. Jack grabbed my arm and I gave him a stern look before tearing it away, "I'm so sorry that I don't feel safe."
"You are safe! That's why you're here."
"Don't be stupid!" Jack recoiled a little at my sudden outburst, "None of us are safe here, especially not me. I haven't been safe since the moment I've been here and don't you dare tell me I'm wrong."
"Well maybe that's because you clearly haven't told us the truth." I looked away from his cold gaze and looked towards the other Guardians.
"Fine," I started and took a deep breath to prepare for the reactions while wiping the remaining sweat off my brow, "I've been having nightmares-"
"No shit." I didn't even look at Jack as he spoke and instead went to stand next to Tooth.
"Death...he visits me in my dreams."
"What?" I gazed up at North as a concerned look became etched on his face.
"I thought they were just dreams, but they got more realistic and I realized they were real." Tooth recoiled a bit in surprise, "Not like I go anywhere but whatever happens to me in those dreams happens to me here." I turned my head to show them the small, almost completely healed cut on my cheek. "I asked Sandy for some of his dust tonight because I thought it would help him stay out of my head." I looked at Sandy and saw he was looking down in shame.
"And that didn't work?" I was surprised Bunny asked me a question so earnestly.
"It did for a bit. It's not your fault Sandy," I said gesturing towards him, "But I've learned a lot about Death and...something weird happened tonight. I was surrounded by this light and I was able to fight him off for a bit. That's never happened before." I looked at Jack hoping for some kind of reassurance, but instead was met with an icy glare. "Anyway, he's getting stronger and I got him to admit that there was something more to all of this. There's a reason why he's choosing now to finally reveal himself to me and everybody."
"Did he tell you why?" I was surprised how quickly North asked.
"...no. But I'm pretty sure he's the one that took the rest of my memories." I looked up at Tooth and saw her give me a worried look. I turned towards North again, but was surprised to see his focus was nowhere in particular. "North?"
"Are you hiding something?" My thought were voiced aloud not by me, but by Bunny.
"Oh who cares if he is. Sara obviously felt fine hiding probably one of the most important things going on right now, so let's not change the subject too much." I glared at Jack as he walked over to me with purpose.
"What do you want me to say Jack? I was scared and didn't want anybody else to get hurt."
"We are Guardians! It's our job and yours now too."
"Look, I know I screwed up but I'm telling you all now!"
"You should have told me sooner." I glared at Jack as he snapped at me.
"Oh I'm so sorry that I didn't come running to you and that your pride is hurt."
"It's not about that."
"It clearly has something to do with it," I said gesturing up to him, "Are you done now?"
"No! You should have used your brain and thought things through." I couldn't help but laugh at him while my anger rose with his.
"Think things through? Just a few weeks ago I had no idea that I would be almost kidnapped by Death, targeted by Pitch, and get to see that my memories were full of one of the worst people I've ever met!" I felt my anger continue to rise as I glared up at Jack. I could feel the Guardians watching us, and wondered if they were going to intervene.
"At least we can agree that Benjamin is the worst, but you keeping this from me...us was completely idiotic."
"I wasn't talking about Ben." I heard Tooth give out a little gasp as Jack's eyes softened for a second. "I didn't want any of this! All I wanted were answers about who I was and why I was here. He," I said gesturing up towards the moon, "won't speak to me. I was too scared to talk to any of you and I had almost come to terms with never understanding. Now, all I have are more questions and you coming and pretending that you could save the day."
"I saved your life!"
"Grow up!" I could feel myself regretting the words I spoke but I couldn't stop it, "I said I would have went with Death to stop this war and you stopped me. I don't want any of this! I don't want anybody to get hurt because of me, especially not you! I hate knowing you Jack because now it's all complicated! I care about you and I don't want you to get hurt because of me." Before I knew him, I was ready to sacrifice everything. Now, sacrificing myself would hurt him...and myself.
"You're safe with me! You don't need to worry-"
"I'M NOT SAFE WITH YOU! I'M NOT SAFE WITH ANY OF YOU AND YOU ALL HAVE BEEN THROWN INTO THIS MESS BECAUSE OF ME! BUT YOU JUST WANT TO BE HURT BECAUSE I DIDN'T TELL YOU THAT I'M SCARED AND WEAK." I felt tears start to well up in my eyes. I wasn't going to let them fall. Jack's face no longer showed anger, but a depth of hurt and remorse I had never seen before.
"You aren't weak." Jack muttered softly. I took a deep breath trying to keep my voice from shaking.
"I've been terrified, and I finally faced that fear but he still got control again." I let my voice trail off as I remembered the dream. The bright light and him flying back, but that triumph didn't last.
"You revealed what you're the Guardian of." I looked to my left towards North and the rest of the Guardians.
"What?" My voice shook as a tear escaped and traveled down my cheek.
"That power that happened in your dream? The bright light?" I nodded as he slowly made his way over to me and put one of his large hands on my shoulder, "That was Manny. I'm sure of it. He was showing you what you're the Guardian of." I couldn't help but chuckle as I strained my neck up to look at North.
"Of what? Failing, because that's all it feels like I'm doing." North smiled at me and shook his head.
"You must be the one to understand." I took a deep breath as another tear fell down my cheek.
"I'm sorry," I said turning to all the Guardians in turn, "I should have told you all about the nightmares."
"You thought you were doing the right thing," North said smiling, "But please, tell us everything from now on." I released a tension I didn't realize I had and took another deep breath, relieved that he wasn't mad. I jumped as Bunny tapped his foot against the ground and jumped into a hole. He was probably irritated.
"Wait," I started before North could turn away, "What are you hiding from me?" Tooth looked nervously at North and I saw Sandy give him a questioning look as well. Nobody seemed to know what he was thinking. Before he could speak Bunny reappeared next to me.
"How you feelin' mate?" I looked at him unable to hide the shock on my face.
"I'm okay now, just tired I guess."
"Well, I know the perfect place for you to rest for a while." I watched him walk a few steps to a new tunnel he had opened, seeing that I wasn't following he tossed my staff at me and gestured for me to follow.
"You grabbed this for me?"
"Yeah, now are you coming?" I looked at North and he gave me a reassuring smile.
"We will all talk after you've rested."
I looked at each of the Guardians once more. Sandy created an image of bunnies running through a meadow and smiled at me. I laughed at the image, unsure what it meant. I finally looked at Jack, I felt guilt eat at me. I closed the distance between us and before he could speak I threw my arms around him. Standing on my toes to place my head up on his shoulder I whispered in his ear, "I'm sorry." He gave me a reassuring squeeze and whispered back.
"Me too." As I pulled away from him he kissed my forehead and gave me a smile. I gripped my staff tighter as I walked towards Bunny, and followed him as he turned to jump down the tunnel. He held up a hand to Jack who was walking towards us to follow. I was surprised to see him glare at Bunny, but then nod and let his eyes wander over my face. He seemed calmer, and I felt myself relax and smile at him before I jumped down the tunnel after Bunny.
After many twists and turns, I let out a small yelp as I landed on the ground. The night sky was above me, and I could see thousands and thousands of stars. The grass was soft under my feet and the air was crisp and smelled sweet. This must have been what Sandy was talking about.
"This is one of the places I like to stay." I looked at Bunny as he shuffled his feet.
"It's beautiful." The meadow we were in was lit by the light of the moon above us and I let my gaze fall on it.
"He will talk to you, just when you least expect it." I gave him a small smile as I followed him up the slight hill that was ahead of us.
"Why can't he just tell me what I'm the Guardian of?"
"He might, but only after you know for sure." I rolled my eyes at that. Why couldn't this be a more simple process? Even with him supposedly telling me, I was no closer to knowing what I was supposed to become the Guardian of. I let myself watch Bunny as he walked in front of me, his tail twitching at times and his fingers drumming next to his sides like he was twirling one of his boomerangs. Though he still intimidated me, I could see a softness in him now that I hadn't noticed before.
"Why are you being so nice to me?" He muttered a bit in surprise which made me laugh behind him. We stopped at the top of the hill and he turned to me.
"You've changed a lot these past few days. When I first met you, you were scared to speak. Just now, I watched you scream at Frostbite and stand up for yourself. Guess you could say you've impressed me and I trust you now." I gave him a fake hurt face.
"You didn't trust me before?" He laughed at my comment which took me by surprise. Could Bunny and I actually be becoming friends?
"Anyway, sleep here," he gestured down and I noticed that we were standing on a nest of sorts. Grass was laid down to form a pillow and the flattened grass looked very soft.
"Thank you," I muttered, astonished that he would offer me something that seemed personal to him. Before I could say more he was already half way down the hill.
"You'll be safe here! Try and sleep!" Even though I haven't felt safe in days, I let myself trust him. I then laid down and let exhaustion take over as I drifted off to sleep, my staff still clutched in my hands.
