The first rays of early morning sun fell slanting through the window. Shuichi walked to the balcony with a cup of coffee in his hand. There was still too little traffic outside so the air was very clear with a hint of coffee and toast smell coming from his kitchen. He looked down at the city of Tokyo recalling the view from his New York apartment.

It's been a year since he first met Akemi and over 9 months since he joined the organization. He's been undercover for so long he no longer remembers what it was like to be himself. It's as if Shuichi Akai was starting to fade, leaving the place for Dai Moroboshi to take over. He adapted to the role so well he became that other person.

Sometimes, he truly wants to believe that Akemi is his real girlfriend, that the accident that brought them together was just a coincidence and not an act planned weeks ahead. It was like living an alternative life. But then he remembers the organization he's up against and starts building his defenses again. If only he could get anything useful from this infiltration. Why is it going so slow? Even after the promotion, he hasn't been called by Gin once. It's only been two weeks but still, he really wanted to get some progress.

As if his wish was granted by some Genie, the phone he received from Gin vibrated and a text appeared on the screen. They have a meeting at 5 pm today.

(~)

Dai took one last breath from his cigarette then threw it to the ground. He got to the warehouse early and found nobody, but even when the time came nobody showed up. Minutes later, Vodka appeared alone. It was unusual seeing that he and Gin always show up together.

"Where's Gin?" Dai asked.

"He'll be here." Vodka answered briefly. He continued walking. The sound of his steps echoed through the broad place. When he finally stopped a few meters away from Dai, he crossed his arms and stared at the agent in silence.

Shuichi couldn't really see his eyes through the dark glasses, even so, he could feel the gaze burn through him. Vodka's body and full attention were all turned towards him as if trying to make him nervous. Shuichi, though, stood calmly. He was supporting his back to a pillar and looked away for a while, but when he looked back, he found vodka still staring at him, like he was a child and Shuichi was his favorite toy. What the hell is he thinking?

"Is there something on my face?" Shuichi asked.

"Hmph" was all that Vodka replied with the side of his lips lifting. He still gazed at Shuichi and it was starting to irritate him.

Shuichi was adjusting his back on the pillar. Just when he was about to say something, he felt something hard press against his back.

"Put your hands where I can see them." The familiar threatening voice of Gin ordered.

Shuichi's hands slowly lifted in the air. He gazed at Vodka who was still staring at him with the mocking smile. For Vodka who was examining him, Dai seemed too calm for the situation. That was one of the reasons Shuichi was chosen for this mission by the FBI, he was calm and collected and knew how to control his emotions and hide them behind a poker face no matter what he felt on the inside.

Shuichi slowly turned his head to the side and looked at Gin from the corner of his eye.

"What are you doing, Gin?" He calmly asked.

"You thought I wouldn't find out about you?" Gin asked, pressing the gun further into Shuichi's shirt. "You son of a bitch, I can smell infiltrators from miles away."

Could it be they found out about him? But how? He didn't leave a trace behind. Adrenalin suddenly pumped through Shuichi's veins, he felt his heart pounding faster and his muscles tense. For a minute he started considering a way to escape. Maybe elbow Gin and disarm him, but then Vodka will shoot at him. Then he'll use Gin as a shield. There's no way vodka would shoot his superior.

Shuichi was perplexed and worried. But on his face was nothing but impassiveness.

"What are you talking about? I think you got the wrong guy."

"Are you doubting my judgment? You think I'm joking about this to get a wrong person?" Gin asked, and with every word, his gun pressed harder against Shuichi's skin. It's probably gonna leave a red mark if he survives.

"If you're so sure, then reconsider because you're wrong."

"I'll tell you one thing about me." Gin approached Dai's ear as he went on. "I am never wrong!"

The sound of high heels clicking on the floor echoed through the empty space. Shuichi felt the gun tip immediately loosen from his skin.

"Relax, he's just bluffing you." It was a woman's voice. "That's Gin's way of welcoming new members into the team. He thinks it would reveal agents, I think it's stupid."

Shuichi brought his hands down before turning to where the voice came from. It was a woman with long blond hair he knew too well, Vermouth, the one that the FBI sent him after. If only he could take her with him and leave.

"Look what we have here!" She grinned when her eyes met Dai's and she slowly strutted towards him.

"He's seeing someone, Vermouth." Gin cut her off, annoyed. Why does she have to flirt with every good looking man she encounters? This is why their relationship couldn't work. Vermouth likes to have multiple partners. Unlike his precious Sherry, Gin was the only man in her life, he was the first and he'll be the last and she's all his.

"Just the way I like them, pretty and taken."The blonde answered, eyeing Gin.

Vermouth had always liked Gin. They used to be better but ever since he started his relationship with Sherry, he could barely spare her any time. That strangely boosted his attractiveness for her. She didn't mind him having another woman in his life because she too had other men, but it does anger her when he chooses Sherry over her.

"Are we ever gonna talk about the mission?" Vodka finally broke his silence.

The meeting didn't take long. They discussed the plan and each person's role and the place and time of excution. Just as Shiho had said, they were going to kill somebody; A university professor. This time, Vermouth is the one to pull the trigger. Shuichi was glad he was the second plan and not their first call, he gets to intervene only if Vermouth fails, -which knowing her, is very improbable to happen. But even if he didn't press the trigger, he'd still feel terrible if the man loses his life and he stands by without preventing it.

(~A month and a half later~)

Shiho was busy typing on her laptop. She looked pretty in her unbuttoned lab coat that exposed an elegant maroon dress underneath it. She seemed to gain some weight but it all went into the right places. It was no wonder she'd gained what she gained since she's been eating more lately. She got more time to take care of herself now that Gin was out of the picture. It's been 2 months since that awful day in his apartment and she hadn't seen him since.

"Sweetheart!"

The word made her eyes widen for a second. He can't just come back! She was doing good with him away so why is he back now?

"Gin." She whispered.

"Don't you look nice!" He grinned. Gin entered the office and walked towards her. "I missed you so much."

"That makes one of us." She drily said.

Shiho was really angry at him for slapping her and wasn't going to let it pass easily. Because if she did, he might do it again and it might end up worse next time.

"Ha! Don't tell me you're still mad about that time, it's been months." Gin stopped walking when he got next to her desk, but Shiho stood up and walked past him.

"Even if it's been years, that was not acceptable."

She proceeded walking to a shelf at the wall across from her desk. She started looking through the multiple files placed on it when she heard his steps approach her from behind

"You made me really angry back then."

"Don't you blame it on me, Gin. If anything it's your paranoia."

"That's because I worry about you. I'm just trying to protect you from men who try to use you."

And he got the nerves to say that! Ugh. Sherry continued her search facing her reports with Gin behind her. "If you call that protection then keep it to yourself."

"Just come home with me, I'll make it up to you."

"No!" The first time she says no and it came with entitlement and confidence. God, it felt satisfying. It was much easier saying it without having to look straight into his eyes.

Gin took a step forward closer to her back. He inhaled her sweet perfume scent. How gratifying is this? How much he had missed her! Now that he was so close, he started wondering how he had spent two months without her. Although vermouth was in Japan and kept him company, nothing matched his cherry. He needed to bring her back to his apartment now. Gin's back obliviously bent forward, his head approached her and he placed a kiss on the back of her neck.

Shiho's head was buried in the reports when she felt Gin's lips fall on her skin, she waited for him to end the kiss but he didn't.

"Gin!" She called, taking a step away from his lips before returning to the reports.

"Come home with me, Sherry!" His voice was weak. There was not that usual superiority in it, it sounded more like a plea than an order.

"I said no. I have a lot of work to do and even if I didn't, I wouldn't."

If busyness strategy failed to keep him away, she's not going to let go of this opportunity of playing angry to get him out of her sight.

"Why are you talking to me like that?" He asked when she turned to face him. God, her face was perfect! How much he missed those eyes and that hair and those lips, everything about Sherry! He needed to take her home for he wasn't sure he could hold himself any longer. He placed one hand on her cheek as he went on. "It's been two months since we last met so it's only fair that you come."

"Hey! Put your hand down." A deep voice was heard from the office door. "You heard the lady, did you? She said she doesn't want to go."

"Hold your horses and get outta here, this is not your business." Gin eyed him.

Shuichi ignored his superior and walked inside with determination. He stood next to them and gazed at Gin.

"Hey what's your problem?" Gin asked.

"What's YOUR problem?"Shuichi frowned.

The two men found themselves in the same position as the first time they met, standing across from one another, both piercing the other with a sharp gaze.

Gin narrowed his eyes. He violently pulled Shuichi by the collar of his shirt.

"Listen to me, kiddo… Next time you take that tone with me, I'll knock your damn head off." He hissed.

Shuichi pushed Gin's hand harshly, freeing himself from his grip. "I won't have to take it if you listen to what she says."

"Stop it, you two!" Shiho finally broke her silence. Her head was turning left and right between the two men.

"I think the key for this is in your hand, Sherry." Gin grinned with his eyes on Dai before turning to face Shiho. "What do you think? Do you want to stay here or do you want to come home with me and tell this man to stop getting his nose into other people's business?"

Shiho looked at Shuichi who had a hint of a smile on his face, he was sure of his winning and was waiting to enjoy Gin getting sent home empty handed. But to his surprise…

"I'll come with you, Gin." She mumbled. Leaving the green-eyed man startled.

Gin's grin widened announcing his victory. Sherry walked back to her desk to pick up her purse. She was avoiding Dai's eyes. But she had to do this to protect him, she doesn't want Gin to think there's something going on between them again.

(~)

It was already night time. Shiho leaned her head against the car's leather headrest. Her lips were partly parted and she felt tired and sleepy. But when the driver passed by her building and was turning to the parking lot, she spotted the figure of Dai standing in front of the entrance and it drove her sleepiness away. She couldn't believe her eyes! Shiho was thankful that she called her driver because if Gin were to drive her, it would've been a disaster. She fidgeted in her seat in wait for the car to stop and soon as it did, she got out and hastened out of the parking lot towards the main entrance of the building.

"Dai san!" She called.

Dai stood there with a pool of cigarettes underneath him. His green eyes turned to look at her.

"Shiho! What was that all about?" He furrowed his eyebrows in question.

Shiho took three steps to the main entrance door and opened it. "Have you been waiting here long?"

He followed her to the inside, annoyed at her changing the subject. "That's not important. Now answer my question."

"I don't think these matters should be discussed in corridors, let's get to the apartment first." She calmly said.

The two members rode the elevator and walked the corridor in silence. Soon as she let him in and closed the door, Dai started.

"Now answer me, Shiho."

"What was your question?" She asked casually as if the topic didn't interest her, which caused Shuichi to sigh.

"Why did you go with Gin?"

"Because I wanted to."

"I'm sure I heard you say you didn't."

"I was just teasing him." She downplayed the situation with a hand gesture.

"I'm pretty sure I could tell the difference, you were not teasing him." Shuichi looked her back with a solemn expression.

"Yes, I was, until you came and ruined it... You know what? Gin is right, you do like to get into other people's business." She added, annoyed.

Dai looked at the floor for a moment. It hurt her seeing him like that, it hurt her to say that to him but she had to make sure he doesn't get between her and Gin again before Gin's grudge grows.

"I try to protect you and you tell me off because it's not my business?" He asked, with a hint of disappointment.

"I can take care of myself, I didn't ask for your services." Shiho shrugged, taking three arrogant steps inside her living room and leaving him behind.

At that moment, Shuichi felt anger. He was still standing in his place next to the door. He knew she was smart so how could she be so oblivious to how Gin treated her? How come she considers him the bad guy in this and Gin the good one?

"Godammit open your eyes! He's abusing you! You need to wake up. Don't you think I notice that you're scared shitless of him?" Shuichi raged. It was the first time she sees him lose his temper and it was for her.

Shiho stopped walking and turned to face him with a frown. Both her hands were on her hips.

"There you go again, getting your nose into my business. I already told you you're wrong so why do you insist… Why do you even care?"

"Then I'm telling you I'm making it my business." He took three steps closer towards her reducing the distance between them. "If I agreed to hide your relationship from Akemi, doesn't mean I'll agree to this. Just when she thinks you're doing fine, you're dealing with that sick bastard. This needs to stop."

"There is nothing to stop. It's all in your imagination. And I swear to God if you tell her-" Shiho replied with the same angry tone he spoke with but he interrupted.

"I'm not stupid Shiho, and I know you're not too. So stop acting as if nothing's wrong because it's not working anymore."

"That's your opinion, Dai san." She said after taking a deep breath. This time she reduced her tone in the hope of calming him and not letting the situation grow more critical. "As you like to say, I'm not demanded to convince you. Just whatever you believe leave Akemi out of it."

"I won't tell her, but this needs to stop now...I'm gonna put an end to it." He said with full confidence and determination. What is this idiot talking about? Is he planning to go against Gin? He'd kill him in a heartbeat. Shiho opened her mouth to protest but Dai was faster to add. "Don't give me the denial shit again because you know that I'm right."

"You know what would be right? If you would know where your boundaries are and not trespass them." Shiho said. She pointed her index at him and took a step forward. "If you try anything on Gin, or even talk to him about this again, I won't ever forgive you."

Shuichi took a deep breath to calm himself. He tried to say his next words in the most gentle way he could. His eyes were wide and innocent like a child again and his voice was husky yet soft. "Shiho, I'm trying to help you here."

"I don't need your help. My life is none of your concern, just stay away from me." She sternly said, contradicting what she truly felt.

Dai didn't say a word. His greens examined her for a moment expressionlessly before turning to the door and leaving. How she wished to know what he thought at that moment!

As Shiho watched her only hope leave, her blue eyes glimmered with watery tears she didn't know she was holding. She walked to where Dai was standing and closed the door behind him. Then she supported herself against the wooden door.

Just like that, she lost her ticket to safety. The only person that was brave enough to have the will to face Gin for her, the only person that cared for her and tried to help her, the first person to make her feel cherished and valued throughout her life had left just like she ordered him to. She chose her abuser over her protector.

It was hard for her to say what she said and to treat Dai like that when he was nothing but nice to her, but she knew it was for his best. She feared that Gin might hurt him. It was all to protect him.

Shiho closed her eyes, feeling a warm stream of tears tracing her heated skin. What is wrong with her? why is she becoming so emotional lately? She's been living like this for years so why is she feeling bad only now? It was as though her heart was numbed all of those years by some kind of anesthesia and now it suddenly drained off, making her realize how awful her life truly was. She was better off before when she didn't feel it because feeling like this sucks.

Despite everything she said to Dai, Shiho wished if that conversation went in a different way. She longed to admit the truth to him, to cry on his shoulder, to ask him to make it stop. The day when Gin gets punished for everything he did to her, how she wished it was close. But she knew that Gin was too dangerous to mess with and risking Dai's life for her own safety was just wrong.

Shiho headed to her bedroom. She crumbled on the bed without even changing her clothes. She kept thinking about Dai. How could he not fear Gin? She'll never know! But what she knows now is that she should keep him away from her life before he does something reckless.


Thank you, everyone, for reading! I had the worst time writing this chapter. I had the idea ready but found trouble turning it into words and just got stuck in that phase for days. Anyways, I hope it turned out fine.

Next chapter: Shiho misses Shuichi, she tries to find him. But does he miss her as much as she misses him?