Shuichi did have the keys to Akemi's apartment, however, he preferred to knock. He waited for her to open up already knowing what face she would make when she sees him, and she did just that.
Her eyes widened, horrified, as they moved from one injury to another. Akemi felt her heart fall. Seeing her boyfriend's left eye swollen, he can't be seeing a thing out of that and he won't for a while. Her eyes drifted to the purple patches all over his cheek and jaw and her bottom lip trembled. It's only been five days since she'd last seen him but he looked like he'd lost weight already, his dark circles were darkened more, enough to make her believe he hadn't tasted sleep for all the past days.
"Dai kun." She called with a barely audible voice.
Shuichi looked at her with a stoic expression. "It's alright...I'm okay."
Akemi approached him, throwing herself in his embrace like a bullet and wrapping both of her arms around him in a tight hug. Shuichi winced from the sudden movement, his chest was no exception too, it had purple patches, he was lucky to not have broken bones. He wrapped his arms around Akemi, preparing to tell her what he came to say. But before he does, he needed to give her this hug first.
Akemi's head dived into his board chest. Minutes passed with the both of them standing in silence. Akemi didn't say a thing but Dai knew she was crying, he just caressed her hair, repeating that it's okay. It wasn't until after a while that she spoke again.
"I'm so sorry." She apologized, and he knew exactly for what; It was for questioning his faithfulness, for falsely accusing him of having an affair with Vermouth and Shiho, and for believing a deceiving manipulator over his word.
"Can we go inside now?" Shuichi asked, voice gentle. Akemi freed him from her hug remembering that they were standing in the building's hallway, she walked in and he followed her.
"Go there. Have a seat, you must be tired." She said with a concerned look, gesturing to the couch.
"No, I'm fine. I have to go actually."
"So fast?" Her brows raised.
"Yeah. I came here because I needed to tell you something and then I'm leaving."
"Where to?"
"Somewhere that's not here."
"I… Dai kun!" She started, confused.
"I need some time alone, Akemi. To rest, but not here, I need some change."
"Well, we can go somewhere together if you want, we can get a hotel in Osaka and spend-"
"No, I need to go alone. I think you and I have some things to think about separately." Dai interjected, and her eyes sparkled with pain immediately.
Akemi opened her mouth for a moment not sure what to say. "…What things?"
"Things like you not trusting me. You were completely convinced that I had cheated on you with other people and to be honest, I didn't think you'd ever believe that, especially when it's coming from Gin."
"But Dai kun, he showed me a picture and told me a story and then, and then you came in and lied to me, I didn't want to believe him but at the time it seemed plausible and I just…" She shook her head.
"If he told me you were cheating I wouldn't have believed him, because I trust you, doesn't matter what he says, doesn't matter what anyone else says, as long as he didn't show me a picture of you in the act I would stand up for you, but that's not what you did."
"But then he told me he beat you up and you came home just as he described, how was I supposed to know you were defending Shiho? I was thinking what could possibly make him hit you? And if he did for some reason, why would he take the time to come and lie to me about it?" Her voice started shaking as she went on, fearing the thought of losing Dai. "Gin got to me but there was always that little part of me that refused to believe him… I'm sorry that I did, Dai kun."
Shuichi had to step on his heart and go on, although her trembling voice made him want to just shut up and hug her.
"I still think we should take a break." His eyes pierced through her, looking deadly serious.
Akemi felt hurt, she missed him so much through the last five days and longed to get back with him but now he's leaving, and she can't do anything about it. She had no choice but to let him go for she couldn't force him to stay.
"How long?" Her voice was weak, fearing the answer.
"I don't know." He answered calmly.
"Okay." She whispered against her will.
Dai nodded and left the apartment leaving Akemi alone with her tears. She feared that he might not come back again and she couldn't bear the thought of it.
Shuichi wasn't really that mad at her, he only used their argument as an excuse to leave without having to tell her where he was going. After that, he headed to his apartment, gathered what's most important to him in a backpack, and flew to America under another alias to avoid the organization knowing about him leaving the country.
Shuichi had a lot of reasons to do this; First, he had to report, because the three days he spent in the organization's facility taught him a lot, like the fact that their prison is located right underneath the lab, it was the second basement, but basements had a denied access for most members, even scientists, so Shiho probably didn't know what's down there.
And second, he had to clear his mind. Shuichi's emotions started controlling his judgment and he didn't like that one bit. He had to remind himself what his goal and priorities are, that those people are the bad ones, and even if there were few good ones, his connection with them is not real, that if they'd known the real him they'd kill him, he needed to remind himself of that.
He had to get Shiho out of his system too because loving her will only cause him ruin. It would ruin Akemi and would ruin his mission, not only that but it was a dead end road, she certainly doesn't like him back and even if she did, it'd be immoral to act upon their feelings. Shuichi had to get this into his brain and get her out of it.
Apart from Shiho, he needed to clear his mind from Gin too. Because right now, if he sees him, he wasn't sure he could control himself. Damn he would kill him, he would kill him then and there. Again, he had to remind himself that his mission is the priority and killing Gin would ruin all of his progress. So he needs to get him out of his mind to not do something stupid when he sees him next time.
And last but not least, he needed to recover. Shuichi was tired, so tired, both physically and mentally. He can't even remember when was the last time he slept properly without thinking of someone breaking into his room and killing him. He was good at not keeping traces to lead to his real identity, but the organization was equally good at uncovering agents, they had a nose for them and when they find out about them, it never ends well.
Soon as he stepped into the JFK airport, he took a deep breath of the American air. This will be a well-deserved vacation after almost 2 years of infiltrating.
(~)
"…and then he left" Akemi sobbed.
Listening to her sister's sobs on the phone, Shiho couldn't help but feel somehow responsible. Gin only targeted Dai because of her, if it weren't for her he wouldn't have tried to sabotage Dai's relationship with Akemi, which resulted in Akemi's doubts and distrust and eventually Dai leaving.
"I'm sorry sweetie, But it's just a break. If he wanted to end things he would've told you, instead he just wanted a break. Maybe he just needs it. I'm sure he'll be coming back to you soon."
"What if he wouldn't forgive me?"
Shiho thought for a moment. She remembered when she and Dai had kissed, he was convinced that he cheated on Akemi back then and felt horrible for it. So if he's convinced that he cheated, he would forgive Akemi for thinking that he did cheat. It might even help him ease his guilt, having her doubt him and do him wrong is better than having her trust him when he was convinced he did wrong.
"I'm sure he will. You've been together for so long and he loves you, this is not a reason for him to stop." Shiho's eyebrows drew in the middle. She loved him so much and this call was only a reminder that she's never gonna be with him. Thank God Akemi couldn't see her through the phone.
"You should've seen him Shiho, I couldn't even recognize him at first. His eye was so swollen he couldn't see through it and he was injured… he was injured everywhere…" Akemi broke down in tears. "I should be taking care of him but now I don't even know where he went."
Shiho listened carefully. Imagining the atrocity that Dai has been through made her heart ache. She knew what a monster Gin was but to use his monstrosity on Dai because he tried to protect her! She felt responsible and felt awful. She loved Dai so much she couldn't bear him being hurt by anything, but she only caused him that. Every time he tried to help, she causes him pain.
"What matters is that he's fine now. He'll recover and be back to you in no time… Now that I think of it, maybe he used that excuse to take a break only because he didn't want you to see him with swollen eyes?"
"I don't think so." Akemi said.
"Or maybe he's just avoiding the soup you make for when he's sick." Shiho smiled, earning her a giggle from Akemi.
"That makes more sense."
When she made sure her sister's mood lightened up, Shiho ended the call and sank back into her dark thoughts. Gin told her he's coming over later. He's back to his ways as if nothing had changed between them and Shiho hated it.
Before she used not to mind Gin, it was almost as if she was numbed. And then Dai came and she saw what a real relationship was meant to be like, she saw how caring, gentle, and loving he was with Akemi and it suddenly awakened her emotions. She started longing to have someone similar to Dai as her boyfriend, hell she wanted him to be her boyfriend.
With that came the dislike of Gin's ways but she didn't try to stop him. But now, after her feelings developed to become so strong towards Dai, and after Gin hurt him, she felt disgusted by the silver-haired man. She couldn't bear him, or the sight of his face, or his touches, or his voice… Everything about Gin was like a repelling bullet to her. He still came to visit her regardless, and she couldn't deny him to not let him hurt Dai again, but having to stand him while having those strong feelings of hatred towards him was torturous.
Shiho heard a knock on the door, she wiped the sad expression from her face and stood up with a sigh and a heavy feeling lying on her chest. She looked through the peephole… It was Gin as expected.
(~)
As days passed, Shiho started worrying about Dai not coming back. It's been 2 weeks since he last appeared on Akemi's steps and he disappeared since. He was not in his apartment and his phone was off and she had no hint to guide her as to where he had gone.
Maybe he was fed up with the organization, especially after the last experience with Gin. He never liked working for them anyway, she knew for he suffered every time he harvested a soul, yet she never understood his motives to continue working. Dai was an enigma for her, a man that's hard to figure out. Maybe that's why she fell for him. She was experienced enough to analyze anybody but she failed with him, no matter how long she knew him she could never guess what's on his mind.
Shiho didn't realize how much he meant to her until she lost him. She knew that she loved him but what she didn't know was how safe he made her feel. Ever since he had left, she couldn't help but feel exposed. She was more vulnerable to Gin. Before, she always had the choice of calling Dai to come to her rescue even if she didn't use it, but now, she has absolutely nothing. Shiho had to suck up her hatred for Gin and had to stay on his good side lest he hurt Akemi, but it was hard to do now that she couldn't bear his closeness.
It was 10 pm on a Wednesday. Shiho was reading a fashion magazine with a cup of wine placed near her. She wanted to enjoy this night after the several awful previous ones. Gin didn't contact her today so he's probably not coming over, and her favorite monthly magazine arrived the morning so she was in for a treat!
The redhead tucked a hair strand behind her ear as she flipped the page. Suddenly, she heard a knock and her head immediately lifted to look at the wooden door ahead of her. This can't be happening! Not today Gin! Why, just why does he always pick bad times?
Shiho grabbed her wine glass and gobbled some generous sips before heading to the door and opening it with frustration. But what she saw in there made her mood instantly shift. It was Dai, standing there and looking so handsome.
"Dai san! You're back!" Shiho grinned.
"I am...Missed me?" He smirked. Shiho's never been a fan of that cocky look but right now, that was everything she needed in life.
"I guess I did, a little bit." She slowly said, pretending to be in thought to tease him.
Dai nodded with a cocked eyebrow. He seemed not to be affected by her words as he maintained the smug look on his face. He took a step to the inside and aimed for the living room, but Shiho stopped him in his tracks. The redhead grabbed him by his shirt and dived in his broad chest, hugging him tightly and proving what her words failed to express.
Shuichi wrapped an arm around her, tapping her back twice before returning it to his pocket. He couldn't help but smile at her hug. It's exactly how Akemi does it too, sudden and strong. He wondered if it's a family thing.
When Shiho felt him removing his arm from her back, she knew that the hug was meant to be over, but she despised that. She missed him so much and wanted to keep him close for longer and that second was not remotely fair. She retreated from his embrace grudgingly.
Shuichi had both of his hands inside his pocket as he walked towards the living room with her beside him.
"Did you talk to Akemi?"
"I was with her actually." He said while he sat down on the couch.
Shiho took a seat near to him. Of course, he spoke with Akemi! Of course, he'd go to her first! She's his priority! But Shiho was what? She's lucky to have him care enough to come over.
She let out a long sigh. "How are you?"
"I'm fine."
"Akemi told me that you were hurt. I'm so sorry, Dai san, this is all because of me." She said. A hint of guilt and responsibility was very obvious in her tone.
"Don't be! That's in the past, I'm good now."
"Please forgive Akemi for accusing you, it's not her fault it's mine."
"I already did, and no it's not your fault it's that bastard's."
Shiho didn't want to dive into a conversation about Gin, so she got up from her seat. "Umm, what do you wanna drink?"
"I want nothing, I came here just to talk." Shuichi said, crossing his legs comfortably.
"Oh! I just remembered I have a bottle of bourbon, I noticed it's your favorite drink." She said, recalling the times she caught him drinking, it was always a bottle of bourbon.
"No Shiho not that." Shuichi answered fast. He'd never drink around her again, she's hard enough to resist when sober let alone if drunk.
"Juice?"
He shook his head.
"Then I'll bring you water."
"You really want me to drink something do you?" He smiled and it was like time had stopped for Shiho who stared at him admirably. "I really don't want anything. Just sit down and talk to me."
Dai's smile was like the sun emerging from behind dark thunderclouds and then disappearing again, Shiho got lost in it. She grabbed her glass of wine and took a seat next to the agent, trying to shake the thought away. She doesn't know where he has been but she could tell he's way more relaxed and content now. It's all over his face and even manifested in his voice and his sudden openness to talk.
"Where have you been for the past two weeks?"
"I was rediscovering Japan. I went to Kyoto, Tottori, Okayama, and Kagawa." Shuichi said. This was planned by the FBI to cover his 2 weeks vacation, he got reservations in hotels all over the 4 cities with his alias of Dai in case someone tried to dig into his absence.
"I think I could use a vacation too, you seem more relaxed after you came back."
"You do. It feels like cutting ties with an old time and starting fresh on a new page. You could use that especially after what happened with Gin." Shuichi uncrossed his legs and went on. "Speaking of the devil, what did you do with him?"
Shiho took a slow sip of her glass, gaining time to think of what to say.
"You're still with him?" Shuichi asked, a dangerous deep frown splitting his face.
"Yes." Her low, uncharacteristically insecure voice answered.
"Why? You bore it when he abused you but now he's beaten you up, so what are you waiting for?" Shuichi's voice lost all signs of calmness, it was suddenly filled with tension.
"It's more complicated than that." Shiho's voice on the other hand was too calm.
"What's more complicated? What part do you fail to understand that prevents you from ending things? Tell me and I'll simplify it for you."
"You don't understand." She looked away from him, putting her glass on the coffee table.
"I understand damn well. He's treating you like shit, he's been doing it for God knows how long, so it's about time you put an end to it, which is what you're gonna do next time you meet him."
"That's my decision to make, you don't have a saying in that." Shiho fired back when she sensed him dominating her.
"EVEN SO…" Shuichi yelled causing Shiho to stiffen. It was a reflex acquired from Gin, although she knew Dai wouldn't hurt her, she couldn't stop herself from doing it.
When Shuichi realized how loud his voice was getting, he cleared his throat and started over from the beginning with a lower voice. It was scary how much she made him lose his control despite him being known for his stoic nature. Shiho brings out another side in him, one he has no control over, and he surely hated not having control over it.
"Even so, I'm not letting you ruin your life any longer. You deserve better."
"Maybe I don't. Maybe Gin is exactly what I deserve." She said, eyes drifting away from Dai again. She loved him despite knowing he belonged to Akemi, and even allowed herself to kiss him once. She was convinced she didn't deserve better.
Shiho felt Dai's slender finger crawl on her heated skin, he cupped her cheek and gently turned her to face him. Just the touch of his hand made her thoughts turn into chaos.
"Don't ever say that again. You deserve better than that bastard, and you will find someone better than him."
"I won't" She answered almost immediately. The only person she wanted was sitting in front of her, but she knew for sure he wasn't hers.
"You will!"
"I'm not even allowed to meet new people."
"That doesn't mean you have to stick with Gin."
"You just, you don't understand."
"What? What's preventing you? Do you love him?" Shuichi finally asked. He believed that she did because it was the only explanation he could find for her actions.
Shiho took a long moment to respond. She was torn between continuing to hide behind her mask or telling the truth.
"...No." She finally said with a shaky voice, although she hated her weakness showing.
"Then what? What is it?"
"I…I'm scared." Her lips tightened. "I'm scared that he might hurt me or,... or try to hurt you and Akemi." Shiho answered honestly. Her words took long to come out as she hesitated to say more, but Dai listened patiently.
"You do know that he can't, right? You're a high-ranked irreplaceable member, If he does anything to you Anokata will end him, so he can't really do shit to you."
"He could." Shiho frowned and took in a shaky breath. "You don't know him, he gets… crazy...and he stops caring about everyone and everything, and just… he starts hurting people."
Shiho's breathing was already starting to get heavy recalling her past with Gin, how scary his temper and anger were, how possessive and paranoid he was and how many times he hurt men thinking they had a connection with her when they did not. She recalled the memory of him finding someone standing close to her after he had doubts about him having feelings for Shiho. Gin walked in, brought his gun out, and shot the man's knee mercilessly without saying a word. Shiho had always had that memory so vivid in her mind, she remembered his blood splattering on her white lab coat and her shaky limbs. For all she knows, that person could be Akemi, or Dai. The awful memory triggered a deep fear in her and it was all over her face.
Shuichi was pained to see how scared she was. She must've been badly abused to get to this point. He cursed Gin for it.
"Even if he does, how long are you planning to keep up with it?"
"I don't know." She shook her head, face suddenly twisting as she thought about her dead end future. She looked on the verge of crying. "You saw what he did to you, he could've killed you." Her tears came out when she said the last words, unable to imagine a world where Dai is dead, she rushed to wipe them not wanting Dai to see them although she knew it was too late. "He would do the same to Akemi, if I'm too precious for the Boss then he'll kill you both and he'll kill me when I finish the research."
Shuichi's hand created a fist. He's always perceived Shiho as a strong woman, unbreakable even, so seeing her reduced to tears only translated how unbearably bad her sorrows were. He leaned in and grabbed her, pulling her closer to him. Dai wrapped his long arms around her. He felt her body shake and it made his anger at Gin amplify more.
"I will never allow that to happen, I will never let him hurt you or Akemi." He said with certainty.
Shiho sobbed in his shirt. "Please make him stop, Dai san, I can't stand him anymore, I can't stand the sight of him."
"I will... I will." Shuichi spoke in her hair, voice so soft, barely audible.
Next chapter: Shuichi finally finds a way to help Shiho, he's thrilled to let her know about it.
