Best Laid Plans

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, or Pride and Prejudice. All recognisable characters, content, or locations belong to their respective owners. No copyright infringement intended.

Part One: The Defence Association

Chapter Eighteen:

Dolores Umbridge is a short, rather rotund woman with a fondness for pink, and a narrow-minded hatred for anything and anything that cannot claim to be a pureblood witch or wizard. As the Senior Undersecretary to the Minister of Magic, she's endeavoured to make life miserable for non-humans, and because of her particular prejudice regarding lycanthropes, Sirius despises her as he does few others.

Helena, personally, finds everything about the woman grating, from her xenophobic ideologies, to her high-pitched voice, to her rather unflattering sartorial choices. She's had the misfortune of making Madam Umbridge's acquaintance on several occasions, has left each encounter with an unpleasant taste in her mouth, and is therefore vaguely mortified to realise the woman in question is seated at the head table, in all of her ill-favoured, pink-clad glory.

"What is that woman doing here?" William asks, disgruntled. His (immediate) family isn't officially involved in politics, but despite this fact, it seems he's familiar with her, too.

"She must be one of the new Defence Professors," Anthony Goldstein observes, equally displeased.

"If not the only one," Helena opines, pessimistic.

"Certainly the Head of Defence," Anthony concludes. There are no other new faces at the head table, reserved only for Heads of Faculty, Heads of House, and Heads of School. It is, therefore, a reasonable assumption.

"Who is she?" Padma questions.

"Umbridge."

"Who is...?"

An affront against decency, as far as Helena is concerned, but she knows better than to say that aloud.

Anthony and Will are too busy scowling to answer, and Helena sighs, weary.

"Her name is Dolores Umbridge. She's Senior Undersecretary to the Minister of Magic."

Padma frowns. "Why is she here, then?"

Helena offers her friend an expressive shrug, as clueless as the rest of them.

"They're really scraping the bottom of the barrel, aren't they?" Kevin Entwhistle observes, tone snide. A pureblood supremacist, he's not Helena's favourite person, though even he seems unimpressed by Umbridge's assumed appointment. The woman has few friends.

Anthony huffs a mirthless laugh. "That's putting it lightly."

Lisa's frown remains. "Is she even qualified?"

William scoffs at the very notion, Anthony laughs, Helena bites her tongue on the uncharitable comment that the only qualifications Dolores Umbridge has to offer relate to her ability to suck up to powerful people.

Lisa sighs. "Great - That's exactly what we need this year."

"You can't be surprised, surely?" Anthony wonders, baffled, "Our textbook is a bloody joke."

"Wishful thinking, I suppose," Lisa replies, rueful.

Anthony offers Lisa an easy grin. "Can't fault you for that."

As a group, the Fifth Year Ravenclaws congregate near the middle of their house table. It's a rare display of camaraderie - usually, they are all content to split off into their own little cliques - but it's convivial enough, the conversation focused on everyone's holidays, on the misery that was their holiday homework, on their expectations for the new school year.

There is tension, of course. Stephen and Kevin don't have time for Terry or Mandy, Morag continues to hold a grudge against Michael following last year's Yule Ball debacle, and Su's enduring crush on Anthony remains unreciprocated. There are no wands drawn though, no insults or accusations thrown, there is no hostility to be regretted later. Everyone is on their best behaviour, and it's fine. Mostly pleasant, even, and Helena pessimistically wonders how long it will last.

"How about you, Will?" Michael prods, "How were your holidays?"

"It was a quiet Summer. I spent it with family, and we stayed quite close to home."

It's not the whole truth, but if anyone else knows enough to call William out on it, then they have the decency not to. His mother's failing health is no one else's business - particularly if William doesn't care to share the details - and the Sorting Feast is no place for such things, anyway.

"What about you, Helena?" Mandy queries.

Before Helena can reply, Deputy Headmistress Thorne leads the First Years into the Great Hall, stares everyone else into silence, and turns her expectant gaze towards the Sorting Hat.

In turn, the Sorting Hat stirs to life, and sets about ringing in the new school year with a new (and rather disconcerting) song.

"That's not ominous, or anything," Lisa mutters. She's produced a parchment, quill, and inkwell from the depths of her robes, and has set about writing out the Sorting Hat's song (and accompanying warning)from memory.

Helena can't fathom why her friend bothers, but it's no skin off her nose.

At the front of the hall, Deputy Headmistress Thorne calls forth Ewan Abercrombie to be sorted.

"What house do you think Leo will be sorted into?" William addresses Helena.

"Gryffindor," Helena replies. She doesn't even need to think about it. "Phoenix will be a top up between Ravenclaw and Slytherin, but Leo is his father's son."

A corner of William's mouth pulls upwards into an amused half-smile.

"Then I suppose his name is rather appropriate."

Helena rolls her eyes. "He'll never hear the end of those jokes."

"It could be worse," Lisa opines, "His name could be Lionel."

"Maybe," Helena concedes, "It's obvious Sirius was projecting, regardless."

Helena doesn't know for sure, but she wouldn't be surprised to learn that Leo's name had also been chosen out of spite. Sirius might have conceded to the family's naming conventions, but in a house predominantly (and historically) made up of conservative, traditionalist purebloods, there isn't a single 'Leo' in the entire family tree.

Not until the birth of Sirius' eldest son, that is.

"God love parental expectations," Anthony quips, tone droll.

In front of the house tables, Abercrombie, Anderson, and Atherton are quickly sorted.

"Bennet, Lydia!" Deputy Headmistress calls.

"Another one?"

Helena laughs despite herself, elbows Lisa for the trouble, and seeks out Mary Bennet further along the table. She's seated with Luna Lovegood, an island of isolation between the third and fourth years, and the brunette girl is determined to avoid eye contact with everyone.

"Don't be rude," Padma chides.

"I'm not the only one wondering it," Lisa protests.

Indeed, she isn't, though she's the only one unabashedly vocal about it. There are already four other Bennet girls in Hogwarts, Jane, Elizabeth, Mary, and Catherine, dispersed between Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, and Ravenclaw.

Jane Bennet is a Hufflepuff in their year, gentle and sweet and utterly guileless. She's kind to everyone - regardless of house or history or political affiliation - and Helena doesn't know her well, but not a single person in Hogwarts has a negative thing to say about her.

"She's the last of them," Will quietly informs them.

"And how do you know that?" Lisa prods.

At the front of the hall, Lydia Bennet is sorted into Gryffindor. Her older sister, Elizabeth, awaits her there.

"Black, Leo!" Deputy Headmistress Thorne calls.

"Because Bingley hasn't shut up about Jane Bennet since the Yule Ball," Will replies with a tone that suggests that his answer should be obvious.

Charles Bingley is his best friend. He's a Hufflepuff, but they're on the fencing team together, and they've been friends for as long as they've been attending Hogwarts.

Helena doesn't know much about the other boy, but Susan and Hannah haven't said anything necessarily bad about him, and his friendship with Fitzwilliam at least suggests that he's not awful.

If nothing else, he can't be as bad as his shrew of a sister, Caroline, whose reputation precedes her.

Lisa laughs. "That's cute."

If William's expression is anything to go by, he disagrees. Strongly.

At the front of the Great Hall, the Sorting Hat bellows, "Gryffindor!"

Amidst applause, Leo returns the Sorting Hat to Deputy Headmistress Thorne, bounds over to the Gryffindor House table, and quickly settles in amongst his new peers.

Helena catches his gaze - only briefly - offers her brother a smile, a wink, a thumbs up, and trusts that Leo is where he belongs.

She couldn't bear anything less.

-!- -#-

Author's Note: Hello. This is the last of my pre-written chapters, and I won't post anymore until I have a few more complete. Unfortunately, I can't guarantee when that will happen. I'm taking a Winter Intensive, which essentially means I don't have a break until second semester's mid-semester break some time in August/September I think. Lucky me.

Anyway, hope you're all staying safe and taking care. Thanks for reading, and hope you enjoyed. Until next time (whenever that is) -t.