A Brits, a Yankee, a French and an Hun in Gallia

Answering the reviews:

-K: Sorry, I didn't think of that. If you don't mind, can I use those phrases in the future?

When I heard that the famous tankers that showed the Imperials the definition of hell were in Vasel, I knew I had to get there. It was my job to show the entirety of Gallia our new heroes. When I arrived at Vasel, I expected that such "heroes" were Your typical ones. brave, smart, kind and ready to throw their lives for their country.

Oh, boy, how wrong I was.

Irene Koller, in her bestseller book, On the Gallian Front (Op het Gallische front)


Welkin was on top of his tank, giving instructions to Alicia. Brian was nearby, inspecting the area for any Imperial forces alongside Hans. «Remember. Check everything. Kitchens, living rooms, bedrooms, sewers, roofs. Everything.» Hans said serious. Brian was a bit confused as for why.

«Jesus. What's the god dam need of all that bullshit!» he exclaimed. Hans shook his head in disagreement. «Stay in Russia long enough, and you might change idea. Every house nowadays remembers me of Stalingrad.» was Hans response. Suddenly, however, they heard a click sound.

Then, they saw a woman, with short blonde hairs and blue eyes, taking pictures at Welkin and Alicia. «Hallo da-(Hey the-)» she said before being interrupted by Brian. «Jesus, it's a god damn commie spy! Gunner, take it out!» he exclaimed. «Sir, where is the god damn spy?! Where should I shoot?!»

«YES!» was all Brian exclaimed. At that command, the gunner started to machine gun fire several random location, almost hitting the poor woman. «Oh Gott! Die Russen greifen bereits an! RÜCKZUG! RÜCKZUG! (Oh god! The Russians are already counterattacking! RETREAT! RETREAT!)» Hans exclaimed.

«Sollten wir? Sollten wir nicht in der Lage sein, mit der Situation umzugehen? (Should we? Shouldn't we be able to handle the situation?)» Max asked calmly. «Zwei Wörter Max. Russisch. Bias. (Two words Max. Russian. Bias.)» was the commander answer.

In the meantime, the confusion was heard by Edmond. «Mes vaches! Que se passe-t-il!? (My cows! What is going on!?)» he demanded. «Monsieur! Ce sont les Russes! Il semble qu'ils ont dépassé nos défenses! (Sir! It's the Russians! It appears that they have surpassed our defenses!)» was Pierre's response.

Edmond paled at the information. «Oh mon dieu, c'est encore les Ardennes! AAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHH! (Oh god it's the Ardennes all over again! AAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHH!)». Squire and Welkin intervened in the situation. «All right, all right, what is going on!?» Squire exclaimed.

«Why are all of you so afraid? Even if she was an enemy, dealing with her would be a walk in the park I mean she's alone, and there's four of you with a tank, supported by a militia composed by the most high tech technological advantages of the Gallian army!» he continued.

«Oh, ja!(Oh yes!) The most high tech technological advantages of the Gallian army. I guess that we can actually take on the Ethiopians with our current equipment.» Hans said, highlighting the bad Gallian equipment. «Hey! Not everybody here can afford the Wunderwaffe. Besides, they are probably better armed that most countries of their size around this time period.».

The woman, who was hiding behind a barrel, finally came out. «Uh….Are you the tanks that participated in the battle of Bruhl?» she asked. Squire was the first to talk. «Indeed. I must say, these Russians are not hard fighters so far.» he commented.

Brian then drove forward. «All right blondie. Ye got 3 seconds to tell us who you are before I unleash on you the power of my freedom dispenser! YEEEHAW!» he exclaimed, with the woman slightly afraid. Was he insane!? «I-I'm Irene Ellet of the GBS Radio. I'm their top woman reporter!».

The answer seemed to satisfy Brian. «All right. Ye'r free to go.» he then said. «So…you are a reporter.» Welkin said. She nodded in agreement. «I've been tasked here to make a serie of interviews with Squad 7 and the heroes of Bruhl.». By Heroes of Bruhl she was referring to the tanks that participated in the battle.

After having calmed down for a while, she turned to Welkin, starting to interview him and the other tanks.


Not far away, Rosie was looking at the scene. « Ugh. Nu geeft hij interviews? Wie denkt hij dat hij is? (Ugh. Now he's giving interviews? Who does he think he is?)» she said annoyed. « En echt? "De helden van Bruhl"? Zodra er een simpele dreiging was begonnen ze schreeuwend te rennen als kleine meisjes. (And really? The "Heroes of Bruhl"? As soon as there was a simple threat they started running screaming like little girls.)».

« Ugh. Ik begrijp je. Een klein kind en een stel idioten. Dat zijn onze helden. (Ugh. I understand you. A little kid and a bunch of morons. Those is our heroes.)» Largo responded as he smoke a cigarette. He then turned to see the young man. « Wat dan ook. Hij zal snel genoeg leren. Er is maar één ding van belang op dit gebied. En dat is ervaring. (Whatever. He'll learn soon enough. Only one thing matters in this field. And that's experience.)».


Meanwhile in a strategy room

Varrot was in front of a large table showing the city of Vasel, with Welkin, Faldio, Alicia, Squire, Brian, Hans, Edmond and Jack on the other side. «Squad 7's effort allowed for the capture of the west bank, giving us the foothold we needed. Now we'll join the army's Vasel Battalion in operation Cloudburst to take back the bridge.».

She then pointed at the map. «Militia forces will take the points, crossing the bridge and attacking the eastern camp.». The group was surprised at her. «Ma'am, crossing the bridge means breaching the enemy bridgehead!» Faldio exclaimed. Varrot was quick to respond.

«The plan calls for the army to commence it's attack after we'll struck the bridgehead.» she said. Squire found this unbelievable. «But it's too bloody defended! If we even attempt to take that position, it would be worst that the Somme!» he exclaimed.

«The Tommy has a point! Who even designed this plan?» Hans agreed with Squire vision. Varrot remained silent for a while. «It's Captain Fatmon, ain't it?» Brian then said. She nodded at the comment. «Well that's explain a lot.» Squire then said. After a while it was Welkin time to talk.

«Captain….Mind if I observe the area around the bridge?» he asked. «You are authorized.». Squire was a bit surprised by her simple answer. «Wait. You mean to tell me that there wasn't even an exploration of the nearby area? Are you saying that Damon decided to simply choose the first random area to attack, not caring about easier surrounding areas to attack?».

She sighed at the question. «He claimed that the bridge would be the area of attack and that was it.» was her answer. Squire was clearly disappointed. «Jeez. And I though Italian generals were incompetent.». The whole group was interrupted by Alicia entering the room.

«Welkin!» she exclaimed worried. She was quick to notice the presence of Varrot. «Oh. Sorry to interrupt the meeting, captain!» she said. «We have finished anyway. Something the matter, Sergeant?» Varrot asked seriously. «Yes. Lieutenant Gunther! The squad…they are at each other's throat!» she exclaimed at Welkin.

«What?!» Welkin exclaimed. «God damn! It's the civil war all over again!» Brian exclaimed. Welkin remained for a while. «I dunno. Maybe I should let them at it.» he then responded. Alicia was shocked. «What!? You're just gonna ignore them?!» she asked confused.

Welkin shook his head. «Not ignore them. I'm just letting them speak their mind. Butting heads with other's opinion is a way to get closer.» he responded. But Squire was doubtful of that. «I have to disagree of that, chump. I know what happens when you let things burn for too much. First they're gonna ask to remilitarize the Rhinelands, then they'll ask to annex Austria, then they'll ask the Sudetenland's, and when you finally step forward, they'll just gonna outflank your defensive lines in the Ardennes. I know for experience.».

Welkin was silent at the words of Squire out of confusion. He then snapped out of it. «A-all right. It can't be THAT bad, right?» he then said, as he got out of the room.


Outside, on one of the roads, Rosie was looking angrily at Isara, while also grabbing her collar. « Blijf daar staan! (Hold it right there!)» Welkin exclaimed, as he ran toward them. Alongside him was both Squire, Brian and Hans. «Jesus, private Irish! What is your god damn problem?» Brian exclaimed.

«Just for that you would have got a serious beating in the German Army, now drop her!» Hans exclaimed with a commanding tone. Rosie, actually intimidated by the German, dropped her. «I say, you know how to get the respect of the people Jerry.» Squire commented.

Then Rosie spit on the ground, as Welkin made sure that Isara was all right. «I'm not going to work with that dark-hair!» she exclaimed. Hans looked confused. «Something the matter? Is she a Jew?» he asked confused. «No. She's a Darcsen. I don't know what a Jew is, but nothing can compare to those scum.».

Squire understood what was going on. «Ah, I see now. [These "Darcsen" are nothing more than Jewish references that the game developers put in order to recreate the holocaust, not caring about the historical background of Europe in the 30's.] Mid if I ask you, what is a Darcsen?» Squire asked.

Rosie simply spit on the ground. «After the fall of the Roman empire they devastated Europe in the Darcsen Calamity. It's a shame that the Valkyrur did not whip them all out of Europe.». Bill raised an eyebrow. «Ravaging Europe? So the Darcsen are basically the Mongolians?» he asked.

«Not really. The one who ravaged Europe after Rome were the-» Hans responded, before interrupting himself. «Germans….» he continued with a serious look. Squire was about to answer, before paling a bit in surprise at the realization of what was going on.

Hans then turned toward Rosie with an angry look on his face, causing her to pale in fear. «Well bullocks,» Squire then said, «[I was hoping that we would at least reach the 10th chapter before a German war crime.]». Welkin looked at the British a bit scared. «Oh god what do you mean?».

Hans then walked toward Rosie. «Are you bulling a German, miss?» he asked, with a scary tone. Rosie was trembling a bit. She fought in the Great War, yet he still managed to intimidate the woman. «Uuuhhhhhh… Weeeeeeeelllllll….»


(Shortly after)

Welkin, Squire, Brian, Largo, Isara, Bill and Alicia watched as Hans kept on pulling the head of Rosie in the water, with her swearing every now and then, saying multiple times that she would not harm Isara no more. Welkin was pale in his face, and decided that Hans had his fun.

But as he was stepping forward, Alicia stopped him. «What are you doing Welkin?» she asked serious. Welkin looked at her with a surprised look. «Stopping….him?».

«"Butting heads with other's opinion is a way to get closer." Remember?» she quoted the man with a sadistic smile. «Yeah, but drowning is a bit too much, don't you thing?» was Welkin response. Alicia simply continued watching the scene. « Dit is voor mijn verzameling brood, hoer (This is for my bread collection, whore.)».

Hans then came back to the group, holding Rosie by the ear. «Say it.» he ordered. She then looked at Isara. «Sorry for before! I promise that I will not harm any more Darcsen for all my life!» she exclaimed, panicking a bit. Isara then turned to Hans. «Hans. There was no need for this!».

Hans did not respond. Having regained a bit of courage and pride, Rosie was to walk away. «Still, this does not mean we will be friends. I'll tolerate you at most.».

«That is good for me.» Hans responded smiling, causing Rosie to tremble a bit. Welkin then walked toward Hans. «Hans, I'm glad you want to help to make discipline in our Squad, but this is not the way!» he exclaimed. Hans looked confused. «Why? It worked for us.» Hans responded.

«And looked at what it brought you» Squire commented. Welkin turned angrily at the British. «Don't start!» he exclaimed. Both Squire and Hans raised their hands in the air. «Nah, the past is the past. Now the enemy are the Imperials. We can't afford infighting.» Squire responded.

Welkin sighed. «Now listen. And listen good.» he said with a serious tone, catching the attention of everybody. «I'll have that bridge back in 48 hours.». Everybody was shocked by what he said. «If my plan fails, which I doubt, then I'll resign. Squad 7 will be yours Largo. Alongside Hans, Edmond, Jack, Squire and Brian.».

The group was shocked by the bravado of Welkin. « Gott, er ist so gewagt wie Rommel! (God, he's as daring as Rommel! )» Hans commented. Largo simply laughed it off. «You sure about this, kid?» he then asked arrogantly. «Yes.» was Welkin response, «But if I manage to take the bridge, you'll take orders from me.».

Squire looked at the scene shocked. «Jeez, I didn't know we had Churchill around.». Welkin then started to walk around, analyzing the surrounding. Hans ran toward the guy. «Welkin, are you out of your mind?! How o you hope to capture the bridge in 48 hours?!» he exclaimed.

Welkin smiled at the question. «I'll find a way. Besides, it's not the first time there was the capability to overcome incredible obstacles in a short amount of time. Didn't you conquer France in six weeks?» he asked the German. Hans shook his head in disagreement.

«Ja (Yes), but when we did it, we had entire Panzer divisions and an air force. All you have is a bit of misfits and six tanks. Your position is just as bad as ours in Berlin!» he exclaimed. Welkin laughed it off. «Don't worry, I already have a plan, but first I got to inform Varrot.».


The whole group was on the riverside after Welkin had informed Varrot. She had agreed to participate to his plan, so he could operate freely. «All right, what's the big plan.» Largo asked serious, still doubting the capabilities of this young man. «We're going to strike the enemy encampment on the east bank.» Welkin said.

Rosie was not having any of that, Hans or not. «Whoa! Hold on a second! You are asking us to die for you!?» she exclaimed. A severe look from Hans was all it took to shut her up. Welkin then sighed. «Thanks Hans. We're not taking the bridgehead.» he said, smirking.

He then pointed at the river. «We're taking on this. The river.». The whole group was speechless. «Are you serious? Are you asking us for a swim?» Edmond asked shocked. Welkin continued. «We'll use the cover of the fog, then launch a surprise attack.».

«Hey fella! What ye think this is? The Pacific?» Brian exclaimed. Welkin shook his head. «I've got it covered. Isara?». The girl arrived shortly after. «I've fitted the Edelweiss with water resistance measures to allow for submersion. I'm working for the same with the other tanks.» she said happily.

« Gott, wo war sie, als wir den Seelöwen brauchten? (God where was she when we needed Sea Lion?)» Hans commented. «Ah. Water tanks. This is new.» Jack commented too. But Largo was not convince yet. «Ship came here. The river is too deep.».

Welkin smiled innocently at Largo. «Oh, bugger. You got this covered too, you bloody devil?» Bill commented. He nodded in agreement. «Yup. Look here.» he pointed at some grass. «That's just grass, chump. How is that suppose to help us taking Vasel?» Squire asked.

«That's Mistlereed. It grows in the estuaries of rivers. I've noticed as I was exploring the river. This stretch runs shallow.» he answered. Largo remained silent, alongside the rest of the group. « Ah ja natürlich! Die guten Alten "greifen den Feind in seinem am wenigsten geschützten Gebiet an und umzingeln ihn". Das ist der Schlieffen-Plan von Neuem. (Ah yes, of course! The good old "attack the enemy in their least protected area and encircle them". This is the Schlieffen plan all over again.)» Hans commented.


On the other side, not too long later.

A couple of Imperial soldiers were patrolling the riverside, when they heard some noises. « Privet. Vy chto-nibud' slyshali? (Hey. You hear something?)» one of the soldiers asked. « Da, ya delayu. Chto eto? (Yeah, I do. What is it?)» the other said. Then, out of a second, Welkin's Edelweiss tank came out of the water, running them over.

The other tanks followed soon. «Hell yeah! This'll be the Operation Husky all over again!» Brian exclaimed happily. «Well at least it ain't Gallipoli yet.» Jack commented. «Ah, yes! A naval invasion! We British have mastered those.» Squire then commented.

« Wunderbar. Wir sind gelandet. Das ist genau wie in Norwegen. (Wonderful. We have landed. This is just like in Norway.)» Hans then said. Welkin came out of his tank, shooting a flare in the air. The rest of the Squad arrived shortly after. «I hope you know that you're crazy, kid.» Largo commented.

«Believe me, against the Ruskie we need a little of crazy.» Jack commented. Welkin remained focused at the objective. «We need to move. Fast.». Rosie and Largo could not believe that they were taking orders from that kid. But deep inside, they kind of liked him.

Brian was the first to advance with his Sherman. He took out several still sleepy Imperials, who weren't even wearing all parts of their armor. «Hehehe…. Just as unprepared as-» he was interrupted by Alicia. «Let me guess. Pearl Harbor.». Brian nodded in agreement. «It was. And it was beautiful.» he commented.

A light Imperial tank tried to sneak on the group, before being destroyed by Hans's Tiger. «God damn! Saved by the Jerry!» he exclaimed, surprised. Hans shook his head in disagreement. «No need to thank me. You could have handled it.». In the meantime, some more soldiers were killed by Alicia.

As they continued advancing, they captured an enemy camp, rising the Gallian flag. In the meantime, Welkin's tank destroyed yet another light tank. « Genau wie in den frühen Tagen von Barbarossa. (Just like the early days of Barbarossa.)» Hans commented, seeing the Gallian destroying the enemy tank.

One of the Gallians, a man almost 40 years old with grey hair, glasses and blue eyes almost got hit by a sniper. In response, Edmond shoot at the direction of the sniper, taking him out. «Be careful Wavy. The enemy can be everywhere.» he then said. «Thanks.» was the man response.

In the meantime, the various tanks moved to another zone. «Enemy tank! 400 meters!» Brian's gunner exclaimed. «Take that fucking thing down!» Brian exclaimed, before the shell destroyed the enemy tank. Soon, the other area was captured.

«YEEEHAW! Enemy tank destroyer! Gunner, give me the speaker.» Brian then said. He then started to speak. «Greetings, local people. The US has arrived. No need to thank us, just doing our jobs.». Silence was the answer Brian get. «Huh. I could have swore that the Gallians would have come greeting us like liberators. We'll ask the Canadian army to arrive later.» Squire commented.

«Well that sure as hell ain't Gallian music.» Brian continued, as he pointed a Russian like song being heard, with several Imperial light tanks arriving at the scene. «Why hello there boys! Welkin boy here caused you to lose your temper?» Brian asked mocking the Imperials.

«No. The empire never loses.» was one of the tank commanders answer. «Except the Great War apparently. How's Brest-Litovsk treating you?» Hans then cockily asked. «Actually, the war ended more like a stalemate. No one really won.» Rosie then commented. «Huh. That's new.» Jack commented.

«Stand aside. This country borders the motherlands, and we have come to stabilize it!» the Imperial tank commander exclaimed. «Well I hate to break it to ya, Ivan, but this country ain't unstable. We came here to protect it from ye god damn commies, get your own Ragnite! We're staying put.» Brian then said.

«Well, so are we.» was the Imperial response. Brian drove forward. «Look. If you don't leave this country in this instant, we will invade YOUR country!». The Imperial commander simply laughed. «Ha! You're welcome to try!» he then exclaimed. «Boy, America has the best army in the entire world. Hell, even the Universe. Hell, we'll kick the Martians asses, I don even care! We'll kick ye back to the right side of the border!» Brian then exclaimed.

The tank commander laughed once more. «Believe me. With the wisdom of our great commander Maximilian, this shall be in the right side of the border. Because Gallia will be inside us!».

«Ik weet niet echt zeker aan welke kant van de grens we moeten zitten. Ik woon hier. (I'm not really sure on what side of the border we should be in. and I live here.)» Isara commented inside of the tank. «This is your last warning! Either you wiredraw from Gallia, or we will be forced to take the most drastic measures!» Squire exclaimed.

«What, the UN?» Bill asked. «Nah, that never works.» was Squire response. The Imperial commander smirked. «How about THIS for an answer!» he exclaimed, before his tank shoot the Edelweiss, with the shell bouncing comically. Welkin was quick to react, destroying the enemy tank.

Soon, a battle emerged. «Wow, this has turned to a serious fight!» Largo exclaimed. «[Nah, if this was a real battle, we would have been picked off long ago at the spawning point!]» Squire exclaimed. «[Spawn?]» Largo asked confused. «[S-starting area. I meant starting area.]» Squire corrected himself.

In the meantime, the infantry was attacked several times by snipers. « Wie viele Scharfschützen gibt es da draußen ?! Was ist das, Stalingrad ?! (How many snipers are out there?! What's this, Stalingrad?!)» Hans complained, as he took down another sniper post.

He then shot down a tank that was getting too much close to Squire. «Good shot Jerry. So this is how it feels like to be Wellington.» Squire thanked the German commander. Alicia was almost hit by sniper fire, and took cover behind Squire's tank. «Damn it. There are too many of them!» she exclaimed.

Hans however got a plan. «Say, our objective is to capture the enemy areas, right?» he asked. She nodded in agreement. «So, what if you simply raise the Gallian flag in all the zones?». Alicia remained silent for a while. «And how am I supposed to dodge all the snipers, tanks and soldiers!?» she exclaimed.

Hans then came out of the tank. «Don't worry, German science is here to save the day.». He was holding a syringe. Alicia looked confused. «What's that?» she asked. « D-IX. A methamphetamine-based performance enhancer. Combined with your natural speed, it will make you in a living devil!» Hans responded.

He then injected the substance in her arm. «Uh….Are sure it will wor-» she was to ask, before her pupils shrink incredibly in size, and her legs moving on her own. After grinning like a maniac, she started to charge forward at a ridiculous speed, laughing like a madwoman as she did, taking down several infantrymen along the way.

«HAHAHAHAHAHAAH! DIE! DIE YOU FUCKING COMMIESIMPERIALSIDONTCAREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH!» she exclaimed multiple times, slaughtering several Imperials along the way, taking two areas with ease.

Squire looked the other way in disgust. «Nope. That's too much. [This is the last time we are doing this joke.]». Hans nodded in agreement. «Indeed. Beside, this was the only one I had.». Alicia continued laughing as she went on a killing spree. «BOW TO YOUR NEW GODDESS! BOW TO ME! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!».


Meanwhile, not too far away.

« Chto eto za shum !? Chto-nibud' sluchilos'? (What's this noise!? Has something happened?)» an Imperial officer, still sleepy, asked. « Ekstrennoye soobshcheniye iz lagerya Al'fa! "Pod atakoy! Sumasshedshaya zhenshchina i vrazheskiye tanki! Nam nuzhno podkrepleniye!" (Emergency message from camp Alpha! "Under attack! Crazy woman and enemy tanks! We need reinforcement!")» a soldier exclaimed.

« O Bozhe! Gall'tsy! Oni razvivayutsya! Oni mogut ... vyrabotat' strategiyu! AAAAAAAAHHHHRRRRGGGG ! (Oh god! The Gallians! They are evolving! They can...strategize! AAAAAAAAHHHHRRRRGGGG!)» the officer exclaimed in full panic.

Then, all of a sudden, the door next to them was penetrated by a bayonet. It was Alicia, still on her crazed state, bringing the door down. «HEY COMRADES WANNA SEE A DEAD BODY!?» she exclaimed, with the two men screaming like little girls.

She came out of the building, covered in blood, looking for the other enemies. Squire just looked at the scene. «Huh. A Dutch committing war crimes. That's new.» he commented. As that was going on, the rest of the squad arrived at the last enemy camp and, after a few more minutes, fighting was over.

«Excellent. Isara! Let's see how Imperial tanks like water!» Welkin exclaimed. «Probably just as well as the German do.» Bill commented. Soon, the bridged was opened, with the majority of the Imperial soldiers on it. Soon, both tanks and Imperials fell down the water.

The battle of Vasel was won. But the battle to calm Alicia down had just begun


I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please review so I can learn your opinion. I'm willing to accept any suggestions, so stay tuned. Also remember to like and follow. See you on the next chapter.