A Brits, a Yankee, a French and a Hun in Gallia
Answering the review
-Guest: Well, in his videos Squire shows the Germans not as power hungry war mongers, but clumsy individuals for comic relief. I wanted to be as close as a Squire video as possible.
-K: Thanks. I know, but writing that Chapter was excruciating. It is by far the longest chapter I've ever done in Fanfiction, and after a while you miss the little details.
Driving in the massive desert, was a group of five A39 Tortoises. They were slow, and were cracking the ground beneath considering their weight. «Uh…sir? Are w sure we should go this way? Aren't the enemy on the other side?» one of the crew members of the Tortoise in the front asked.
«Can't. You know orders. We are to reach an unoccupied Gallian city and enlist in the army. That is what the communiqué said.» the commander responded. «It's just that…I'm pretty sure that by the time we reach an unoccupied Gallian city with those tanks, the Russia-I mean the Imperials will probably have already won.» the crew member, the driver, commented.
«In that case, we'll just liberate it again. I mean I doubt that the Soviet-I mean Imperial army has anything to compete against this ground breaking tank.» the commander responded once more. «Sir…how DO we recognize a Gallian, anyway?» the gunner asked.
«The communiqué said that they wear blue. That is it. Also it said that they are the Dutch of this world. So I'd say if they are blonde, tall, have blue eyes, wear clomps, have a lot of bicycles, and are generally greedy, I'd say we hit the jackpot.» he responded once more.
«Uh, chumps? I think I spotted something….» another tank commander said. It was a column of Gallian light tanks, or Gallian Lichtwagen II. «Huh. A tank column. Judging by their colors, I'd say we meet a Gallian formation.» the original tank commander said.
Soon, the Lichtwagens reached the Tortoises. «Good morning chumps. Do not fear, we're British, and as such allies of Gallia.» the tank commander proclaimed. The Gallians were baffled by the tanks. «What is that? I-it looks so heavy that is breaking the ground beneath.» one of the Gallians commander commented.
«And they're just as rude as the Dutch.» the tank driver commented. «Why, it's the A39 Tortoise! The new ground breaking vehicle of the British army!» was the tank commander response. The face palm of the Gallian commander could be heard. «Well it's sure ground breaking. I'm pretty sure it's going to sink to the earth considering how heavy it is. How slow is this thing?» he asked desperate.
«Why, it can reach a whooping six kilometers per hour off road. Anyway, were are you directed exactly? Do you need escort?» the tank commander asked. A short silence followed, only to have the Gallian tank commander head butting the roof of the tank out of desperation.
«Waarom ik ... WAAROM MIJ!? (Why me...WHY ME!?)» the Gallian commander despaired. The British tank commander was confused. «Something the matter, old sport?» he asked. The Gallian commander sighed. «We spotted you not long ago, or at least one of our aircraft did. We were to reach you and direct you guys to help out our forces, which have been attacked by Imperial forces.».
«Well now, I guess we should be going. Try to keep up!» the British commander exclaimed. «Yeah…..sure….» the Gallian commander said. This was going to be a slow drive.
Meanwhile, our brave heroes had finally reached the battlefield where Faldio, the rest of Squad 7 and the American tanks were fighting. «Morning chumps! Now we do realize that we are more late than an American armed intervention, but we were quite busy against the Soviet land equivalent of the Bismarck.» Squire apologized.
«Not to worry. I imagine. Luckily, we didn't have any casualties.» Faldio said. He then pointed at some soldiers. «As a matter of fact, we just received reinforcements.» he then pointed at a group of around 30 soldiers, all with different uniforms.
It was 10 Canadians, 10 Germans and 10 French men. They were platoons, just like the ones of Squad 7 and Squad 1. Three men, probably the lieutenants of such squads, walked forward to meet the tank commanders. «Hello Brits. Commander Thomas here. Are you ready to protect the Dutch again, eh?» the Canadian commander was the first to speak.
«Now that you mention, I noticed that you said that you needed the Canadians to free us. Did the Canadians do a lot in your version of Gallia?» Welkin asked. «Course we did, lad! The First Canadian Army was responsible for liberating the Netherlands» Thomas exclaimed.
«I confirm. As part of the 15th army at Zeeland, I can confirm. By the way, Commander Friedrich. Nice to meet you Mr.…..Welken, was it?» he asked. Welkin sighed. «Welkin, Welkin. My name is Welkin. What about you?» Welkin asked the French commander.
«The name is Armand. I have to say, it's odd to see so few Russian tanks. We had far more tanks that they did.» the French responded. «We having more tanks that the Russians? What are you, daydreaming?» Hans asked doubtful. However, Alicia was quick to notice a rumbling sound coming from the distance.
«Uh…guys? You hear that?» she asked. This was far bigger than anything they faced before. Then, from the desert, on the North, a massive Soviet/Imperial army, with several T-44-100, T-50, T-34 and various Imperial tanks such as the Imperial Light Tank, or T-58 and the Imperial Medium Tank, or T-68, driving toward them. In front of the large tank and infantry position was Selvaria herself. But there was something different about her.
She had a large spear and a shield, and her hair were emitting a blue flame. She pointed the large spear at the Allied formation. «Soldaty Rodiny! Tam stoit Galliya ... Trebuy yeye! (Soldiers of the motherland! There stands Gallia...Claim her!)» she exclaimed. The tanks and the soldiers then charged forward, screaming Urra as they charged.
Armand comically dropped his MAS-36 rifle from the shock. «Toll. Einfach toll. [Jetzt wird die Fanfiction von Jean-Jacques Annaud inszeniert.] (Great. Just great. [Now the Fanfiction is directed by Jean-Jacques Annaud.])» Hans grumpily said. «Dear god! Russians! Thousands of them!» Squire exclaimed.
«Fire! Fire!» Welkin ordered, once the enemy forces were near enough. The various tanks started to fire at the Soviet and Imperial tanks. Luckily, most of them were easy to destroy, but they were massive in numbers. Meanwhile, the infantry remained in the various foxholes and trenches firing.
Some had machine guns, others had rifles, but all tried to gun down the enemy. In particular, a Canadian soldier with a Lewis machine gun was standing up, firing at the opponents. Suddenly, from the sky, a OS2U-3 dived down and bombed the ground where some Imperial soldiers were running.
«YEEHAW! US Air force save the day! Watch out Ruskies, here comes the-oh Jesus.» the OS2U pilot said, as a white I-153-M62, with a large red star on each side arrived out of nowhere and started firing at him, missing him miraculously. «Well fellas, sorry, but I think I'll be busy with comrade Zhukovsky here. Yer on your own!» he exclaimed.
«Well bullocks. There goes the air support. Again. Seriously, has any of these gentlemen read the Squidonian general rules of aviation and tankery?! Always have air support!» Squire exclaimed. «Quit complaining! We didn't have any until you guys showed up, and we did just fine!» Wavy exclaimed.
Meanwhile, in the sky, the OS2U was not having a good time. The I-153-M62 was harassing him mercilessly, counting on his superior speed. And on the ground, despite the heavy losses, the Soviet/Imperial forces finally reached the infantry, and started to do damage.
Some with shovels, knives or their fists, others with their guns, obviously, they put the Gallians down. Blimey this is getting dark.
«Right. this is getting desperate.» Squire said. Rosie sighed. «Commandant ... Zeg het gewoon ... (Commander...Just say it...)» she said to Welkin. He sighed too. «Everybody retreat! We can't win in this open ground!» he exclaimed. However, as the squad started to retreat, a small squadron of I-153-M62 arrived.
One of them started to fire at the Edelweiss, not doing too much damage. As a matter of fact the crew almost did not notice it. «Wat de hel? Wat is er aan de hand!? Regent het? (What the hell? What's going on!? Is it raining?)» Isara asked confused.
«Nou, we ZIJN in Gallia, weet je. (Well, we ARE in Gallia, you know.)» Welkin responded. «Dear god! It's the VVS! Seems like the skies are no longer our lads!» Squire exclaimed. «It's the battle of the Dodecanese all over again.» Bill commented.
However, all of a sudden, a large amount of them were destroyed in flight. coming to the rescue of our heroes was a small flock of Italian CR.42, who caused the Russian planes to disperse, allowing the Gallians to retreat. «Really now? Italian aircrafts, competent and capable to compete against the Russian air force? I think we're reaching the limits of fantasy! They're obviously too biased!» Squire exclaimed.
«[W-well…who IS making the Fanfiction anyway?]» Hans asked. «[Well, I think it's an Italian guy, actually….]» Bill responded. «[An Italian, uh? W-well that explains it…..]» Squire commented. «Guys! I have a plan! Follow me!» Faldio exclaimed. The Squad and the tanks started to follow the guy.
«Run all you like. No one escapes the motherland!» Selvaria exclaimed. The Russian/Imperial army started to rush forward now that the Gallians abandoned the defensives positions. However, after a while, the tanks and infantry stopped. «Soldaty! Chto eto oznachayet!? Pochemu ty ostanovilsya !? (Soldiers! What's the meaning of this!? Why are you stopping!?)» she exclaimed angrily.
«Prostite, mem. My ne mozhem prodvigat'sya. Galliytsy tol'ko chto sozdali nepristupnuyu liniyu. Stena ... iz yashchikov ... (Sorry ma'am. We cannot advance. The Gallians had just created an impregnable line. A wall...of boxes...)» an Imperial soldier responded. «Oh….Blyat.» was all she said.
For you see, [because of lack of attention from the game deve-] I mean for mysterious reasons, boxes in this world, were indestructible. No one knows how, but no tank, gun or melee weapon could damage it. And in a short while, a massive wall made of boxes, stretching for miles, was blocking the Imperials.
«Ha-ah! Gunther woestijn verdedigingsmuur heeft gewerkt! (Ha-ah! Gunther desert defensive wall has worked!)» Faldio exclaimed. «Faldio, waarom noemde je het als mijn achternaam? Was het niet jouw idee? (Faldio, why did you name it as my surname? Wasn't it your idea?)» Welkin asked confused.
« Het is ter ere van je vader. Hij was een grote held in de Grote Oorlog. (Well, it's in honor of your father. He was a great hero in the Great War.)» Faldio responded. «Oh. Veel dank. (Oh. Thank you very much.)» Welkin said. Welkin father, Belgen Gunther, was an important figure during the Great War, one loved by many.
It was the first general that realized that, with a few machine guns and a lot of bravery, the Imperials could be halted because of their charges.
«Perfect. Nu de imperialen geblokkeerd zijn, kunnen we hen dan eens laten proeven van Gallische kogels? (Perfect. Now that the Imperials are blocked, how about we give them a taste of Gallian bullets?)» Largo grinned. «Nee. We hebben de munitie nodig. Als er iets negatiefs is dat we gemeen hebben met het reguliere leger, is onze bevoorradingssituatie. (No. We need the munitions. If there's something negative we have in common with the regular army is our supply situation.)» Welkin responded.
«Parfait. Maintenant c'est une ligne que les impériaux ne flanqueront pas! (Perfect. Now this is a line that the Imperials won't flank!)» Edmond said. Squire clapped one his hands. «Brilliant! Now this is what I would call an impregnable Iron Curtain! I'd like to see Stalin break through this line!».
«You know? [Despite this chapter seemingly going dark, we haven't lost a single man. Or woman. It's almost as we had some sort of plot armor or something.]» Bill commented.
Selvaria however did not seem intimidated. «No matter what, you may have win the battle, but the war is far from lost!» she exclaimed. «Well hate to break it to ya comrade, but ye ain't advancing any further. Hey gunner! Take that gal out!» Brian exclaimed.
The Sherman fired at the woman, who…simply caught the bullet with her lance like it was a tennis ball. «Brian? Did you hit her with an anti riot shell?» Squire asked worried. «That shell can take out gaw damn Tigers! That gal just bounced it off like it was nothing! What the hell is that thing!?» he exclaimed.
She simply smirked. «Let's see how truly unbreakable that wall is.» she coldly said. Her lance started to glow intensely with a blue light. Then, a beam of light formed at the tip.
«I say Bill, [h-how good is that plot armor against beams of energy?]» Squire asked extremely worried. «[Well, I do believe it's riveted, so a bit may come off.]» was his answer. Suddenly, a large beam came from the lance, penetrating the box wall and destroying some American tanks.
A long silence followed, until Welkin started to panicky getting the radio.
Nearby a river in a small forest, the Nameless were resting until Kurt was awoken by the radio. «KURT! KURT! KURT! WE HEBBEN NU HULP NODIG! WE HEBBEN SCATSBURY OP DEZE INSTANT IN DE BARIOUS WOESTIJN NODIG! (KURT! KURT! KURT! WE NEED ASSISTANCE RIGHT NOW! WE NEED SCATSBURY ON THIS INSTANT IN THE BARIOUS DESERT!)» Welkin exclaimed.
Kurt recognized the voice of the lieutenant he met back then in the forest. «Rustig maar spastisch! Wat betreft het verzoek, ik ben bang dat we geen steun kunnen geven. We hebben het druk. Ik weet zeker dat je het aankan. (Calm down you spastic! As for the request, I'm afraid we can't give support. We're busy. I'm sure you can handle it.)» Kurt responded.
«Kurt. We vechten tegen een Valkyria. EEN FUCKING VALKYRIA! Weet je, dezelfde superwezens die hele steden kunnen vernietigen? Ze heeft net een muur met dozen vernietigd! EEN MUUR VAN FUCKING DOZEN! Heb je ooit een doos in je hele leven vernietigd!? (Kurt. We're fighting a Valkyria. A FUCKING VALKYRIA! You know, the same super beings that could destroy entire cities? She just destroyed a wall of boxes! A WALL OF FUCKING BOXES! Have you ever destroyed a box in your entire life!?)» Welkin was now screaming in full panic.
Kurt could not care less. «Kijk, we zijn kilometers ver weg. We kunnen nooit komen om u te ondersteunen. Zuigt echt om jou te zijn. Als je wilt, neem ik graag een pauze tot mijn volgende zelfmoordmissie. (Look, we're miles away. There's no way we can come and support you. Sucks to be you really. Now if you please, I'd like to take a break until my next suicide mission.)» he sighed annoyed.
«Waag het niet de radio uit te zetten- (Don't you dare turn the radio off-)» Welkin was saying before Kurt turned it off.
«JE ZOON VAN EEN TEEF! (YOU SON OF A BITCH!)» Welkin screamed angrily. Soon, taking advance of the breached wall, the Soviet/Imperial tanks and soldiers started to charge forward. Meanwhile, several I-153-M62 arrived. «Toll. Und ich dachte, wir könnten uns auf die Italiener verlassen. (Great. And I thought we could rely on the Italians on this one.)» Gerhard commented.
«Nou ... het was een goede run. Ik vraag me af hoe slecht het eten is in Vorkutlag. (Well...it was a good run. I wonder how bad the food is at Vorkutlag.)» Isara sadly commented. «Commandant? Over wat ik zei bij Vasel ... Het spijt me. Je was een goede commandant. Net als je vader. (Commander? About what I said at Vasel...I'm sorry. You were a good commander. Just like your father.)» Largo commented.
«Dank je. Ik zeg, we hadden een goede run, toch? (Thank you. I say, we had a good run, right?)» Welkin asked. «Ja. Net als de Boerenoorlog. Een verdomde schande de tweede ronde begon. (Yeah. Just like the Boer war. A damn shame the second round begun.)» Rosie responded.
«Well bullocks. Looks like the sun set on the British Expeditionary Force in Gallia. Care to have one last tea and biscuits? I doubt the Gulags have any.» Squire commented. «Well might as well. You got any milk by any chance?» Bill asked. «Well….sure as hell I wasn't expecting it to end it like this. Fought many enemies…Japs, Jerries, Grease balls, but Ruskies…guess Vodka beats freedom.» Brian commented.
«On dirait que c'est la fin, commandant. (Looks like this is the end, commander.)» Pierre commented. «Il h. [ Au moins, nous avons fait mieux que ce que nous avons fait dans la plupart des contenus liés à Squire.] (Heh. [At least we did better than what we did in most Squire related content.])» Edmond responded.
«Ah, die Ironie der Situation. Zu Hause von den Russen zerstört werden, außerhalb von zu Hause von den Russen zerstört werden. (Ah, the irony of the situation. Getting destroyed at home by the Russians, getting destroyed by the Russians outside home.)» Hans commented. «[Zumindest wurden wir nicht als die Bösewichte dargestellt]. ([Well at least we weren't portrayed as the villains.])» Max responded.
«Well we're screwed. Wonder if Soviet Gulags are worst than Japanese POWs» Jack commented. «Cóż, nie podejrzewałem, że Rosjanie straciliby mnie od czasu całej wojny z Niemcami. (Well, I didn't suspect that I'd be executed by Russians since, you know, the whole war against Germany thing.)» Mikalai sadly said.
«Myślisz, że nas oszczędzą, jeśli powiemy, że jesteśmy Polakami? (Do you think that they'll spare us if we say we're Poles?)» his driver asked hopeful. «O ile nie jesteś członkiem Polskiej Partii Robotniczej, wątpię w to. (Unless you're part of the Polska Partia Robotnicza, I doubt it.)» Mikalai sighed.
It seemed like the end for our heroes, until Selvaria suddenly stopped, alongside the rest of the army. Then, our heroes noticed a T-50 rushing toward the hole created by her. It was the same T-50 that saved prince Maximilian before. «Moy prints! My byli na grani unichtozheniya Gall'skoy armii! YA rad, chto vy prishli (My prince! We were on the verge of destroying the Gallian army! I'm glad that you came to witness-)» was all she said, before Maximilian interrupted her in a peculiar manner.
«BEGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT'! (RUUUUUUUUUUN!)» was all he screamed. The Valkyria, confused, remained still for a second, before hearing a familiar noise. A propeller. Aircraft.
[OST: A bridge too far theme, from 1:15]
In the sky, a squadron composed by several Blenheim Mk IV, He 111 H-3, He 51 B-2/H, Bf 109 B-1, Do 17 E-1 and He 112 B-0 started to dive down at the Soviet/Imperial forces. «Soviet forces down ahead! Drop the bombs lads!» the Blenheim pilot ordered.
«Oh…Blyat.» was all Selvaria said, before the bombs dropped down, with the explosion hitting her. Some Imperial soldiers miraculously managed to rescue from the incoming fire. «BLYAT! BLYAT! BLYAT! BLYAT! SVYATOY KHREN! NETNETNETNETNETNETNETNET! NET! MY V TAKOM DER'ME PRYAMO SEYCHAS! SVYATOYE CHERTOVO ! (HOLY FUCK! NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO! NO! WE'RE IN SO MUCH SHIT RIGHT NOW! HOLY FUCKING SHIT!)» one of the Imperial soldiers exclaimed.
In the meantime, however, the I-153-M-62, who were retreating after the He 51 B-2/H, Bf 109 B-1 and He 112 B-0 started to mow them down, were caught by surprise by the returning Italian Cr-42, who had just dealt with the other I-153-M-62. They were also accompanied by the OS2U-3 and the Me 262 C-2b.
«Oh Gott sei Dank! Ich wusste, dass die Italiener uns nicht verlassen hätten! (Oh thank god! I knew that the Italians would have not abandoned us!)» Gerhard exclaimed happily. «YEEEHAW! LET'S KICK THOSE GAW DAMN COMMIES ALL THE WAY TO COMMIESTAN!» the OS2U-3 pilot exclaimed.
After the various I-153-M-62 were dealt with, the planes started to focus on the Soviet/Imperial forces, harassing them. «This is our chance! CHAAAARGE!» Welkin exclaimed. « WIE FÜHLT ES SICH BOLSHEVIK BASTARDS!? WIE FÜÜÜÜÜÜHLLLLLLTTTT ES SICH AAAAAAAANNNNNNN ! (HOW DOES IT FEEL YOU BOLSHEVIK BASTARDS!? HOW DOES IT FEEEEEEELLLL LIIIIIIKEEEEEE!)» Hans exclaimed euphoric.
Soon, the enemy tanks were driven out. The bombers continued their attacks, with the fighters hitting the tanks and soldiers with their bullets. Meanwhile, the tanks and soldiers charged screaming in full euphony, with their blood full of adrenaline. Soon, after a while, the Soviet/Imperial tanks and soldiers were too far away.
«Thank god for that! I was afraid we weren't gonna make it back the-I mean of course! I planned this from the start! British superiority in the field has been achieved!» Squire exclaimed. Welkin remained silent, as he got out the tank. But before he could say anything, a group of tanks arrived.
They were the A39 Tortoises and Gallian Lichtwagen II who had finally arrived at the scene. «Well it looks like we arrived! Not to worry chumps, we are here to save you against the Soviets! Now where is the enemy armored battalion?» the A39 Tortoise commander asked.
Alicia sighed. «You're late. The battle is over. We won.» she said. «What? What do you mean the bloody battle is over!?» the Tortoise commander exclaimed. «How can you be surprised!? You are driving the slowest tank in the whole world! No wonder we arrived late!» the Lichtwagen II answered angrily.
In the whole scene, Welkin got down the tank, full shocked. He trembled and had an hard time standing up. «I say chump, you don't look like your usual self. Is something wrong?» Squire asked worried. «No, it's just….I need a second. This was too much of an emotional roller coaster.» he said.
«How about a break? Maybe some biscuits? Some tea?» he asked. «Sure. That sounds lovely.» Bill responded. «Good….good….smoking's allowed.» was all he said, before he passed out.
I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! Please review so I can learn your opinion. I'm willing to accept suggestions, so stay tuned. Also remember to like and follow. See you on the next chapter.
